Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

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Marital Life: Importance and Issues

Publisher(s): Association of Imam Mahdi

www.alhassanain.org/english

Allah and His representatives have given us the best rules for a great marital life. They have explained every minute detail. When we do not observe these rights, do not follow the rules or cross our limits, life turns boring and marital life falls prey to differences and it will lead to all that is happening these days. Only if we would have truly act upon the Islamic teachings, behaved well with each other for the satisfaction of Allah and His Messenger (S) will we be able to have a good marriage and a good society.

Miscellaneous information:

Marital Life: Importance and Issues Compiled & Published by: Association of Imam Mahdi P.O. Box 19822, Mumbai – 400 050. Month & Year of Publishing September 2013

Notice:

This version is published on behalf of www.alhassanain.org/english

The composing errors are not corrected.

Table of Contents

Marital Life: Importance and Issues 8

1. Investigation and Analysis 10

2. Lack of Training 11

3. Expectations 12

4. Marriage between equals 13

5. Television and Internet 14

6. Worldly Attractions 15

7. Ignorance from the Disadvantages of Divorce 16

a. Effect on Families 16

b. Effect on Children 16

c. Effect on Spirituality 16

d. Second marriage becomes difficult 16

e. Dissatisfaction of Allah and the Messenger (s.a.w.a.) 16

8. Interference of Parents 17

9. Short temperedness 19

Notes 21

Can these difficulties be resolved? 22

1. Non-Islamic Way 23

a. Magic 23

b. Restrictions 23

c. Complaints and Legal Action 24

2. Islamic Way 25

a. Dua and Tawassul 25

b. Imagine ourselves in that position 25

c. Mutual Discussion 26

Salutations on that Lady 27

d. Consulting a Religious Scholar 28

e. Advice and Admonishment 29

Even such things happen 29

f. Family Court 30

Notes 33

Rights of Husband and Wife 34

Love is the Key to Peace 35

Love and Mercy 36

Rights of the Wife 37

Alimony 38

Struggle in the Way of Allah 39

700 times the Reward 40

Rights of the Husband 41

Displeasure of the Husband 42

Stepping out of the house without the Husband’s Permission 43

Adorning oneself for the Husband 44

Welcoming and Seeing Off 45

Best and Worst Men 46

Notes 47

Only If… 48

Marital Life: Importance and Issues

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَحِيْمِ وَ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْكَ يَا وَلِيَّ الْعَصْرِ (عج) اَدْرِكْنَا

Marital life is an innate need of every human being. Allah, the Almighty, has created a suitor for everyone. The Divine system allows human beings to find their partners themselves and spend their lives fulfilling the necessities of life. Allah, the Most High, has granted man superiority over all other creatures. Accordingly, the laws and issues of the married life of man are different from all other creatures.

Allah has greatly emphasized on marriage in the life of an individual. Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) has considered marriage among those traditions (sunnah) that “one who turns away from it is not a part of his nation”. Marriage has been regarded as “protection of half of faith” and “the prayers of a married person carry seventy times more reward”.

Nevertheless, marriage is an essential and necessary aspect of a person’s life without which, life is not just incomplete but also disturbed and stressed. Marriage has been regarded as a cause of peace, tranquility, love, affection, proximity to Allah and forgiveness of sins. Living together despite different natures and customs has been considered as striving (Jehaad). Glad tidings of Paradise have been given for living a successful life. Caring for the husband has been regarded as Jehaad, nurturing children as an excellent worship, being obedient as a great fortune and leading a married life while bearing hardships and calamities has been considered as a medium of raise in grades.

Islam dislikes disputes, differences, quarrels and skirmishes. Among all things which are permissible (Mubah), divorce is the most detestable.

Despite all these admonishments, emphases and encouragements, conjugal life is a big issue these days. Previously, marriage was seen as bliss. Nowadays, it is completely converse. Reports of disputes are being heard from everywhere be it cities or villages, the issues are common everywhere. These issues are prevalent, in no less numbers, even in educated and financially sound households.

These marriage issues are more dangerous than a cancerous virus. A cancer virus affects only an individual but these issues impact two families and even the children and future generations. These issues affect even religion and faith because when these differences take the shape of complaints then things are not just restricted to narrating of facts but they result into an endless series of allegations and accusations and families are involved in sins. When sins gain a stronghold, divine blessings and bounties decrease. As a result, the differences continue to increase.

Nowadays, married life has become a victim of differences. These differences start cropping up only a few days after marriage. Another peculiarity about couples these days is that instead of resolving matters, both parties want a quick divorce. Something which Allah despises has become the first choice of people. What is the reason for this destruction? Simply sighing over issues or discussing them with someone else is not the solution. People tend to only discuss these issues in public but seldom think about resolving these disputes.

Let us try to find its causes and influencing factors by pleading in the sacred presence of Hazrat Vali-e-Asr (a.t.f.s.) for his special attention and then try to look for its cure and solution. Every problem has a solution and every illness has a cure.

1. Investigation and Analysis

One of the reasons for differences is that the two parties do not investigate or inquire enough about each other before marriage. Discussions are limited to education, post, occupation, income, house and good looks. How well educated are the boy or the girl? How do they look? What is the occupation of the parents? How big is their house? At the most, the family history and lineage are enquired about. None of these are a guarantee for a successful life. The fundamental aspects which will ensure peace and tranquility in life are the morals and nature of the boy and girl and their families, and the manner in which they talk.

These days, marriages are being called off more on account of morals and behavior than money. The fact that true morals and conduct can be known only by staying together is undeniable but we can definitely get a good indication of the true character through the neighborhood and surroundings. The conduct and character of the family can definitely be known by interacting with people who know them. The environment at home does leave an impact on the children. Hence, it is important to investigate thoroughly before agreeing to the marriage.

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.a.) said:

إِذَا هَمَمْتَ بِأَمْرٍ فَتَدَبَّرْ عَاقِبَتَهُ فَإِنْ كَانَ خَيْراً فَأَسْرِعْ إِلَيْهِ وَ إِنْ كَانَ شَرّاً فَانْتَهِ عَنْهُ

“When you intend to do anything, then ponder over its end result. If it (the end) is good then hasten towards it and if it is evil then stay away from it.”1

Marriage means laying the foundation of a blessed family and hence the foundation needs to be strong. Especially those marriages which are being fixed via the internet require more investigation.

Youth, when they are impressed with someone, they accept each other so unconditionally that they are unwilling to accept any suggestions in this regard. It is a request to those youth to never underestimate the suggestions of their parents. Their experienced vision is capable of looking at things which young eyes cannot comprehend.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Hence, it needs to be carefully thought out.

2. Lack of Training

If a youth wants to drive a car then it is important for him to be completely trained on it. He can drive a car only after he has learnt it completely.

In older days, people coexisted in joint families. Grandparents, uncles and aunts all lived together. People with different natures lived in the same house. The elders would keep an eye on the children and used to train them. They would instruct them of the ups and downs, the culture of the house itself and would train them how to co-exist with people of different natures. Apart from this, girls did not receive higher education. They were seldom married immediately after their primary education or during its course. So, there was a gap of few years between completion of their education and marriage. During this period girls got an opportunity stay in joint families and practically learn the house-keeping. They learnt to cook and stitch clothes and all such things were greatly emphasized upon. The effect of this was that a girl would step into her in-laws house with experience by her side. She knew how to look after her husband as well as co-exist with people of different natures. She knew how to maintain relations. Consequentially, most marriages used to be successful.

Joint families have disappeared today. Large houses have transformed into 2-bedroom flats. There are no elders in the house. Grandparents, uncles and aunts live separate while children live separately with their parents. Hence, the training which was imparted to live with people of different natures no longer exists. The practical lessons of patience and forbearance have vanished. On the other hand, these days, girls are either married during the course of their education or are engaged. The modern education system neither has any discussion on house-keeping nor on morals and etiquette. There is no chance of learning house-keeping and looking after the husband after completing education. The result is that the vehicle of life is driven without appropriate training. It is similar to a youth driving a brand new car from the showroom without knowing how to drive. It is obvious that the consequence of this would be an accident. This accident could be major or minor. Hence, if a youth wants to drive a car on the road then along with the car being good, knowledge of driving is also a must.

Therefore, today, there is a strong need for a training course before marriage which educates on the various aspects of married life so that the vehicle of life does not meet with any accident.

3. Expectations

Before marriage, the boy and girl as well as their parents have such high expectations and pin such high hopes on each other that it hurts when expectations are not met. Questions begin to arise in each other’s minds. The hearts start speaking out. Complaints start flooding in and both sides consider their grievances to be valid, which worsens the situation and spoils relations as well. In such a situation, relatives of both sides especially parents aggravate it even further; the boy’s mother just can’t stop lauding her son. A complaint which could have been resolved merely by a clarification, now gains strength and then one complaint gives rise to another leading to ruining of relations.

Each one feels that the other person didn’t fulfill my rights and didn’t submit to my wishes. Only if we thought how well have we fulfilled the rights of others and what are the rights of other people over us. On the Day of Judgment, we shall not be questioned as to how well others have fulfilled our rights. Rather we shall be asked how well have we fulfilled the rights of others upon us and what rights do others have over us. We shall not be questioned as to why did others not accept our apology and didn’t forgive us? Rather we shall be asked why did we not accept apology from others and why did we not forgive them even after they sought forgiveness from us? If you are so hard-hearted that you are not ready to forgive each other despite being asked for pardon, then how can you seek forgiveness in front of Allah for your major sins?

Allah, the Almighty, says in the Holy Quran that

‘if you are grateful then I shall certainly increase for you.’2

Being grateful to someone encourages that person, increases affection, values good actions and a person wants to continue performing good actions in future; rather it inspires to do better. If a couple thank each other for their good actions, it will increase the love in their hearts. A wife once said: when anything good happens in the house e.g. good food is cooked or his clothes are ironed, then he is thankful. Similarly, if he brings anything for the house, we thank him. Upon hearing this, another lady who was sitting there remarked: My husband has never thanked me irrespective of whatever I do.

No such vaccination has been invented to increase love in the hearts. There has not been any medicine called “Love of the Hearts” has been devised that eating it would result in development of love in the hearts. Love is developed through goodness and serving each other, by thanking and being grateful to the good deeds and service done to each other.

4. Marriage between equals

When we talk about service, often such things are heard: our relationship is that of equals, we are partners of each other i.e. we are both equal to each other. Then why should we serve one another? If it is a marriage between equals then why should we serve our husbands? Why should we be grateful?

These are effects of western culture. Marriage is a sacred and a lifelong relationship. Peace and tranquility in life are dependent on it. Survival of this relationship is a great fortune. The issue is not with serving each other. It is about keeping the relationship alive. A person said that if my life is affected so is hers. The question is what will we gain if someone else’s life is impacted? Will we be better off if the other person is worse off? If relations sour, will it impact both or only one? If people ponder over the fact that matters can be resolved merely by expressing gratefulness and some regret, then there is no point losing sleep over something which can be dealt with kind words. It is nothing but foolishness, to worsen matters due to our ‘ego’ which can be resolved easily otherwise.

5. Television and Internet

It is fact that the west is far advanced in science and technology than us. But it does not mean that it is also better than us in morals and etiquette, religion and faith. Various things which are portrayed through the medium of television, internet, Facebook, etc. and the kinds of films which are shown have impacted our marital life immensely. The existence of traditional weddings is far less in the west. There are more of friendly relations. They are more like two partners of a firm. The partnership continues till the time both are deriving benefit from it, otherwise they call it quits. Marital life for them means staying together either until they like each other, or else they part ways and look for someone else.

The situation in India is unlike this. Here, religion and faith exist and so do morals and etiquette. Marriage is a sacrosanct relationship, worship, proximity to God, protection of religion and faith. Therefore, imitating the West in these matters is nothing but self-destruction. Apart from this, the mutual discord and differences shown through television programs, and the people responsible for them who get heavily paid for doing so have no connection with real life. The dialogues used are completely scripted and are alien to reality. All those stories are false and there is no truth in them. But unfortunately man is deceived by the apparent. He considers it to be true and tries to implement the same in his life.

Nevertheless, programs on television and internet which destroy morals and serials ruining religion and faith have negatively affected the lives of youth. Intellect and wisdom demand that we should refrain from such programs. We should not let our lives be impacted by false stories.

6. Worldly Attractions

One of the peculiarities of this world is that all that glitters seems gold. Advertisements which appear in television and newspapers glorify things to such an extent that it seems life is incomplete without them. We feel our problems would be solved if we have a particular thing but procuring it is never easy. The more attractive it seems in the advertisement, the tougher it is to obtain it.

Further, if that thing is not obtained, people begin to speak ill. A polite conversation gets converted to taunting and the situation starts getting worse. Interestingly, if that thing is obtained, after a few days a new demand crops up whether it is clothes, jewelry or anything else. Its importance is also lost after some days. Greed is a calamity which has no end. If the couple takes steps according to their income and necessities, the money saved shall benefit both. Bitterness of relationships can also be reduced through contentment.

7. Ignorance from the Disadvantages of Divorce

Anger is considered to be a kind of insanity. A person loses the ability to think and reflect while he is in a state of anger. He does not pay heed to the other person and by the time he is able to comprehend, it’s too late. If he carefully thinks through its disadvantages and considers all perspectives, then he can remain safe from destruction, devastation, humiliation and regret. Some of the disadvantages are as follows:

a. Effect on Families

Just as marriage brings together not just two individuals but two families, similarly divorce also impacts not just the couple but also their families. Family relations are spoilt and friendship turns into enmity.

b. Effect on Children

Children are the most invaluable gifts from Allah. Their upbringing is the parents’ responsibility. Both parents are important for a child. When parents part ways after a divorce, the children are either deprived of a father’s compassion or a mother’s love and affection. Their education, health, morals and etiquette, everything is affected. It affects their future as well. If children remain with their father, then although their expenses are taken care of but when the father is out for his work or business then who will look after them especially girls. A father’s innate nature allows him to be patient only up to a certain extent. If they stay with their mother, then along with expenses they will be devoid of a guide. A mother can only look after them in the house, not beyond that. Children, who are the greatest bounty in this world, will be affected due to mutual differences. Sacrificing for something which is valuable is a sign of humanity.

c. Effect on Spirituality

The lives of both husband and wife are affected due to divorce. Sometimes the effect results in demoralization. Not a single person seems reliable and trustworthy. Everyone appears doubtful. A person becomes irritable.

d. Second marriage becomes difficult

Sometimes such people become so pessimistic that they are never prepared to remarry whereas marriage is a necessity of life. The need for a house does not cease to exist if the existing house collapses. Second marriage becomes difficult. Families are extremely cautious. Everything is questioned.

e. Dissatisfaction of Allah and the Messenger (s.a.w.a.)

Although Allah and His Messenger (s.a.w.a.) have permitted divorce under some conditions but in their view, it is the most hated and annoying among all those things which are permissible. Hazrat Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) says:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ يُحِبُّ الْبَيْتَ الَّذِي فِيهِ الْعُرْسُ وَ يُبْغِضُ الْبَيْتَ الَّذِي فِيهِ الطَّلَاقُ وَ مَا مِنْ شَيْ‏ءٍ أَبْغَضَ إِلَى اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ مِنَ الطَّلَاقِ

“Allah, Mighty and Majestic be He, loves the house in which there is marriage and hates the house in which there is divorce. There is nothing more disliked near Allah, Mighty and Majestic be He, than divorce.”3

Hazrat Ali ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) has narrated from Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.):

تَزَوَّجُوْاوَلَاتُطَلِّقُوْافَإِنَّالطَّلَاقَ يَهْتَزُّمِنْهُ الْعَرْشُ

“Marry but do not divorce for surely divorce makes the Arsh (Divine throne) tremble.”4

Islam has permitted divorce but only on the condition that it becomes absolutely impossible to stay together. Simply divorcing because of personal ego or that of the parents or due to social status or due to love for someone else, makes the Arsh tremble and its result shall not be favorable in Qiyamat.

8. Interference of Parents

One of the major reasons for issues which are observed in daily life and the relationship between the boy and the girl being spoilt is interference of parents, especially mother or some other elder member of the family.

It should be firmly borne in mind that obedience to parents is obligatory. It is necessary to treat them kindly. However, this obedience is not limitless but confined. After marriage, obedience of the husband is obligatory for a girl and not of her parents. It is very well known to all that a girl can neither step out of her house nor invite anyone as a guest without the permission of her husband. The husband, though, does not require the permission of his wife to go out of the house. But obedience of parents just to offend the wife or to torture her is not necessary. If the parents force their son to divorce his wife and threaten to disown him in case he fails to do so, even then their obedience is not obligatory and not obeying them in such a situation shall not be considered as their disobedience.

After marriage, without the permission of the husband, if a girl is forced by her parents to stay with them instead of her husband, then this is incorrect as per Islamic Shariah.

There are many incidents where girls want to stay with their husbands but their parents do not permit. In such a situation, obeying parents is not necessary rather it is obligatory to stay with the husband. According to traditions, till the time a woman is outside her house without the permission of her husband, she will be cursed by angels. Blessings and peace cannot descend at a place which is cursed.

Post marriage, it is the responsibility of the parents especially mother, to not encourage her daughter’s complaints. Rather she should advise her daughter to be patient and forbearing and teaching her ways to try and win her husband’s love by serving him. She should not advocate on her behalf by exaggerating her daughter’s complaints in front of others.

Nowadays parents, especially mother, become advocates of their children, blow things out of proportion, consider their children as perfect and try to prove the other person as mistaken and oppressive. The situation worsens, misconceptions are converted to allegations and accusations and matters get out of control. Such things which don’t even exist are spoken about each other. In such a situation, how can someone express regret for something he/she has not done at all. If parents refrain from interfering in the married life of their children, let them live with each other, understand and adjust with each other and allow them to settle things between themselves then things will be under control.

Here, it is the responsibility of the couple to respect and honor each other, trust each other, not let things go outside the privacy of the house and not encourage those who are inquisitive about it by not divulging anything to them. It is a humble request to parents that if they wish to see a blissful life of their children then refrain from undue interference in their marital issues, encourage them to face the difficulties and calamities, don’t discourage them.

9. Short temperedness

The world today is such that people are extremely short tempered, get angry very quickly and are uncontrollable. This short temper plays a vital role in today’s marital life. A spark will result in a fire and there is no smoke without fire. The current system of education and training is such that levels of patience and forbearance are reducing by the day. Anger seems to increase every moment. The effect of this anger upon others is of secondary importance while man himself is deeply impacted by it. His status and position is tainted and domestic life is devastated.

Anger is a part of human nature and a portion of his innate nature as well. Without anger there wouldn’t be any self-esteem and courage. But making best use of one’s anger is the knack of a person. Experts say that when we are angry, we should not let out our anger immediately but delay it by 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, we are free to decide whether we need to express our anger or be patient. We will see the fruits of this approach over time. Now read this incident carefully. This is an incident of a short tempered wife and her husband.

“Since the past 3-4 years, there has been a steady increase in my anger daily. My mental condition is going from bad to worse. I’m beset by illness and disease. I’ve consulted many doctors including psychologists but to no avail. Getting angry with children on petty issues and quarreling with my husband has become routine. When the anger subsides, I pity myself, there is a feeling of remorse and then I turn affectionate towards my dear children.

My mother keeps telling me to not be so short tempered, I should be respectful to my husband and honor him, treat my children with mercy because such anger will not benefit anyone. There will be chaos in the house and it will spoil the children. But I would not be affected by anything. I always wanted to control my anger but was never successful. This is what happened one day:

There was a quarrel between me and my husband over a petty issue. He was just telling me that we should visit his grandmother but I refused to go. Things got so bad that I flung a slipper at my child. Although, it missed him but it broke the window and hit a person walking on the street. I can’t explain the embarrassment thereafter.

Even my husband is by no means any better. When he sits with the children for their homework, he gets extremely violent and beats them up. If I try to interrupt, then he scolds me off.

Such was our routine. Every day in the house was a hazard and finally, we were left with nothing else but embarrassment. But it was all of no use. Even the children were fed up of this daily humdrum.

Coincidentally, one day there was a program on ‘How to control one’s anger?’ They said:

“A person should try and control his anger. The bravest person is he who can control his anger. One who protects others from his anger, Allah shall protect him from His wrath and anger on the Day of Qiyamat. The woman of the house should never get angry. She should safeguard her children and her husband from her anger. I request you that next time when you get angry, just try and control your anger for 5 minutes. Believe me! You will learn to control your anger by practicing only a few times. Just start right away.”

This had such a deep impact over me that it is inexpressible. I could recollect each and every thing of the past and wept continuously for a long time by remembering how I had wronged my children and my husband. I acted upon that advice with all seriousness. My tension has reduced and the atmosphere at home has improved. Now there is no headache or illness nor any need for a doctor, treatment or medicines. Now there is love, affection, honor and respect among everyone in the house. The anger which made my house a living hell, control over it has now transformed that same house into paradise. Now I’m in no need to visit any doctor or medicines, the atmosphere in the house is peaceful and everyone is happy.

Notes

1. Behaar al-Anwaar, vol. 71, p. 342, H. 15

2. Surah Ibrahim (14): 7

3. Al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 54, H. 3

4. Awaali al-La’ali, vol. 2, p. 139, H. 387

Can these difficulties be resolved?

The aforementioned few points were those which impact the marital life of this generation. Bearing in mind that every pain has a cure and water quenches thirst, a question is raised as to what is the solution to such marital problems? These problems can be resolved in two ways:

1. Non-Islamic way

2. Islamic way

Both ways have been briefly explained further.

1. Non-Islamic Way

a. Magic

Some people bank on magic or filthy practices, approach various Babas and waste not just their time and money but their faith and beliefs as well.

Hazrat Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) has narrated on the authority of his grandfather Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.):

“Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) said in reply to a question by a lady who asked him (s.a.w.a.) that my husband is cruel towards me. I have resorted to magic to woo him and win him over. Is this right?

Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) replied: Woe be unto you! You have disturbed the seas and earth. The greatest angels of Allah and the angels of the heavens and the earth are cursing you.

On hearing this, the lady started fasting, praying, chopped off her hair and wore coarse clothes (so that Allah would forgive her).

When the Prophet (s.a.w.a.) was informed of this he said: Allah will not forgive her by all this.”1

Such things are quite common these days. People believe in black magic, get influenced by the various advertisements which are displayed, believe in such things instead of Allah and His Messenger, keep running after it forever and make matters worse. Islam has strictly forbidden such magic. If magic could resolve problems, then there wouldn’t exit so many differences and households wouldn’t have been destroyed. Hence, such things should be strictly refrained from.

b. Restrictions

Some people are under a common misconception that being strict in the house would resolve issues. This is just a presumption and is far away from reality. Apart from this Islam has not permitted use of force and being oppressive.

When Allah sent Hazrat Moosa (a.s.) to a tyrant, oppressive person like Firaun, who claimed Godhood, He ordered,

فَقُوْلَالَه قَوْلاًلَيِّناً

Then (you and Haroon) speak to him a gentle word.

One of the characteristics of Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) has been described as

وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّاغَلِيْظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّوْا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ

and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you.

When Islam emphasis on a soft behavior with disbelievers, polytheists, claimants of Godhood, then how can it permit strictness in domestic matters. Based on this –

i. Islam has not permitted injustice and oppression

ii. We will be answerable for our injustice and oppression on the Day of Qiyamat

iii. Relationships will get ruined further

iv. Fear halts the road to progress

v. Spoils the atmosphere at home

vi. It will result in the upbringing of children

vii. Allah and the Prophet will be displeased

viii. Blessings and bounties will reduce

c. Complaints and Legal Action

Some people start complaining, sometimes to relatives or sometimes they even reach the police. Matters reach the court. Things are not resolved by this. On the contrary they get worse. Those who benefit are police and lawyers and we are left with loss of time, money and self-esteem.

Apart from this, it also leads to a lot of forbidden acts such as lying, taking false oath, giving false testimony, slandering, accusations and other prohibited acts. Because as per the Indian Judicial System, a case is not considered to be strong until one truth is accompanied by a number of lies, accusations, false allegations and all these forbidden acts are to be repeatedly performed.

Islam has given an oppressed person the right to complain but has not permitted lies, accusations and false charges. Rarely and seldom are such incidents heard that the situation improves after taking the matter to the court. Rather, even a faint ray of hope dwindles away. Nevertheless, even if the court rules in favor of a divorce, then too the divorce cannot be considered valid because it does not fulfill the conditions for divorce. Marital relations are not cut-off due on account of such divorces.

22. TrustIn Allah

Allah, the Wise, has said:

فَإِِذاَ عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَکَّلْ عَلى اللٌّهِ اِنَّ اللٌّهَ يُحِـبُّ الْمُتَوَکِّلِيْنَ

“So when you have decided, then place your trust in Allah; surely Allah loves those who trust.”1

Imam ‘Ali (as) said:

أَلتَّوَكُّلُ عَلى اللٌّهِ نَجاَةٌ مِنْ كُلِّ سُوْءٍ

“Placing one’s trust in Allah is the means of deliverance from every evil.”2

Short Expalantion

Tawakkul (placing one’s trust in Allah) is a jar that has been sealed with Allah’s seal, and only that person who does not rely on Allah and place his trust in Him, shall break open the seal of the jar and consume its contents.

The lowest grade of tawakkul is when a person does not strive to act upon his own principles before the right time, and does not endeavour to acquire more than whathas been ordained for him. The essence of tawakkul is entrusting one’s affairs to Allah, and if a person is heedless towards the actual ‘cause’, i.e. Allah, he shall not achieve the reality of tawakkul.

Tawakkul can never be realized by mere words and claims, rather, it is an internal and esoteric issue, which finds its roots in faith and belief, and it is by abandoning all hopes and aspirations that a person can arrive at the reality of tawakkul.3

1) The Trader whoPlaced his Trust in Allah

During the time of the Noble Prophet (S) there lived a trader who, in all affairs, always placed his trust in Allah. He used to travel from Syria to Madinah for trade and during one of his trips, he was confronted by a bandit who drew his sword and intended to kill him.

“If it is my wealth that you desire, come and take it and leave me alone,” pleaded the trader.

“Killing you is a must, for if I let you go free, you will identify me to the authorities,” said the bandit.

“In that case give me respite till I have offered a two rak’at prayer,” requested the trader.

The bandit agreed and the trader engaged himself in prayers. Having completed the prayers, he raised his hands and beseeched: ‘O’ Lord! I have heard from Your Prophet that whoever places his trust inYou shall remain protected. I have no helper in this desert andYour grace is my only hope.’

Having placed all his trust in Allah, he had hardly completed his supplication when a rider on a white horse loomed in the distance. When he came close, the rider confronted the bandit and killed him with one stroke of his sword. Then, turning to the trader, he said: “O’You , who places your trust in Allah! I have killed the enemy of Allah and He has delivered you from him.”

“Who are you that you have come to my assistance in this desert?” the trader asked.

“I am your tawakkul. Allah brought me out in the form of an Angel and I was in the heavens when Jibra`il called out to me and said: “Hasten to the assistance of your master and exterminate his enemy”, and here I have come and eliminated your enemy.” Having said thus, he disappeared out of sight.

The trader fell down in prostration of thanksgiving to Allah and acquired a stronger conviction with respect to the instructions of the Noble Prophet (S) regarding tawakkul. On arrival in Madinah, he approached the Noble Prophet (S) and narrated what had transpired.

“Indeed! Tawakkul raises a person to the pinnacle of success and the rank of a person who possesses it, is equivalent to the ranks of the Prophets, the friends of Allah, the righteous ones and the martyrs,” said the Prophet (S).4

2) The Noble Prophet and Trust in Allah

When Abu Sufiyan, the chief of the polytheists of Makkah, saw the ten thousand strong army of Islam (during the conquest of Makkah), he was filled with awe and astonishment. As he walked beside the battalions of the Noble Prophet (S), he murmured: “I wish I knew why Muhammad became victorious over me. How did he manage to gather for himself such a powerful army despite being alone and without support in Makkah?”

The Noble Prophet (S) overheard him. “We became victorious over you by Allah’s assistance!” he said, placing his hand upon Abu Sufiyan’s shoulder.

In the battle of Hunain, when the enemy suddenly and unsuspectingly attacked the forces of Islam, chaos reigned supreme within the Muslim ranks. When the Noble Prophet (S) watched this state of the Muslim army, he sought Allah’s help by placing his trust in Him, and supplicated: ‘O’ Lord! All praise and thanks only belong toYou . I place my complaint (regarding the state of affairs) beforeYou and it is only You from whom help and assistance ought to be sought.’

At that moment, Jibra`il descended from the heavens and said to him: “O’ Prophet of Allah! You have recited a supplication which Musa (as) had recited when the sea had split for him and he was granted deliverance from the evils of Fir’awn.”5

3) The Illness of Prophet Musa

Once, Prophet Musa (as) became ill. The Bani Israel came to him and realizing what his illness was, advised him: “If you consume such and such medicine you will recover from your sickness.”

“I shall not seek any cure but will instead wait till Allah cures me without the help of any medicine,” said Musa (as) to them. His illness became prolonged whereupon Allah revealed to him: “By My Majesty and Glory! I shall never cure you till you have consumed the medicine which they had recommended to you.”

Musa (as) asked the Bani Israel to treat him with the medicine that they had previously suggested. They treated him and shortly after that, Musa (as) regained his health. However, this incident left Musa (as) with a feeling of complaint and dejection but Allah revealed to him: “You desired to annul My Wisdom by means of your trust inMe ! Is there one, other thanMe , who has placed the medicinal and beneficial effects in plants and various things?”6

4) Hammad Ibn Habib

Hammad Ibn Habib Kufi narrates: “One year, I had set out for Hajj accompanied by some people. Just as we passed by a place called Zubalah, a dreadful wind with black dust began to blow. Its intensity was so great and severe that everyone in the group were left scattered. I found myself alone and lost in a place with no water or trees. It was not long before night fell. Staring into the distance, my eyes perceived the silhouette of a single tree and I began trudging towards it. As I approached the tree, I witnessed that a youth, dressed in white apparel and scented with musk, also came up to the tree.

‘This person must be one of the auliya of Allah!’ I thought.

I concealed myself fearing that if I came forward, he would move away to another place. The youth readied himself for his prayers, recited:

يَا مَنْ حَاذَ کُلََّ شَيْءٍٍٍ مَلَکُوْتاً

and then started his prayers.

I noticed that there was a spring of water nearby. I performed my ablution and stood behind the youth for my prayers. I observed that in the course of his prayers, when the youth reached the verses that narrated Divine chastisement and punishment, he would repeat them with wailing, weeping and lamentation. After the prayers, the youth began to walk away from his place, all the while supplicating:

يَا مَنْ قَصَدَهُ الضَّالُّونَ

Fearing that I might lose him, I rushed toward him and pleaded: “I place you under the oath ofHe Who has taken away exhaustion from you and instilled within you the ecstasy of this solitude! Have pity upon me for I have lost my way and I (also) desire to be adorned with your traits and attributes.”

“If you had truly placed your trust in Allah, you would never have lost your way. Now follow me,” replied the youth.

Saying this, he went to one side of the tree and, taking hold of my hand, brought me to a place by means of tayy al-ardh7 . It became apparent to me that morning had dawned.

“Good news for you, for this place is Makkah,” said the youth.

I realized that I could hear the voices of the pilgrims who had come there to perform the Hajj. I turned to the youth and asked: “I place you under the oath of He, uponWhom you have pinned your hopes for the Day of Judgment! Tell me, who are you?”

“Since you have placed me under oath, I shall inform you of my identity. I am ‘Ali Ibn Husain (Zainul ‘Abidin),” the youth answered.’”8

5) Relying upon the Butler

Jibra`il came to Prophet Yusuf (as) while he was in prison and asked him: “O’ Yusuf! Who made you the most beautiful of all men?”

Yusuf replied, “Allah.”

Jibra`il questioned again, “Who made you the most beloved of all children in the eyes of your father?”

“My Allah,” said Yusuf.

“Who directed the caravan towards the well (into which you were thrown)?”

“My Lord,” replied Yusuf.

“Who protected you from the stone which the people of the caravan had hurled into the well?”

“Allah.”

“Who delivered you from the well?”

“My Allah.”

“Who protected you from the deceit of the ladies?”

“My Lord.”

Jibra`il finally concluded, “Allah says: What made you seek your need from someone other than Me? For this act, you shall stay in prison for seven years (for the offense of placing your trust in the king’s barman and asking him to seek your freedom from the king).”

According to another tradition, Allah revealed to him: “O’ Yusuf! Who was it who showed you that dream?”

Yusuf replied, “It was You, O’ My Lord!”

“Who protected you from the guiles of the wife of the King of Egypt?” asked Allah.

“It was You, O’ My Lord!”

Allah declared, “(Then) why did you seek help from someone else and not fromMe ? Had you placed your trust in Me, I would have liberated you from your imprisonment, but now that you have placed your trust in someone else, you must stay in prison for seven years.”

(After this) Yusuf wept so much in prison that his inmates became frustrated with him and it was decided that he would only weep on alternate days.9

Notes

1. Noble Qur’an, Surat Ale ‘Imran (3), Verse 159

2. Biharul Anwar, Volume 78, Page 79

3. Tadhkerah al-Haqaiq, Page 72

4. Khazinatul Jawahir, Page 679; Majalis al-Muttaqin (of Shahid-e-Thalith)

5. Dars-hai Az Zindagi-e-Payambar-e-Islam, Page 216; Biharul Anwar, Volume 21, Page 150

6. Jame’ al-Sa’adat, Volume 3, Page 228; ‘Ilm-e-Akhlaq-e-Islami, Volume 2, Page 290

7. Literally: Folding up of the earth.Covering a great distance in a fraction of a moment, miraculously. (Tr.)

8. Pand-e-Tarikh, Volume 5, Page 182; Biharul Anwar, Volume 11, Page 24

9. Namunah-e-Ma’arif, Volume 3, Page 280; Layaliul Akhbar, Page 92

23. Submission

Allah, the Wise, has said:

وَ أُمِرْناَ لِنُسْلِمَ لِرَبِّ الْعَالَـمِينَ

“And we are commanded that we should submit to the Lord of the worlds.”1

Imam Baqir (as) said:

أَحَقُّ خَلْقِ اللٌّهِ أَنْ يُّسْلِمَ لِمَا قَضى اللٌّهُ

“The most worthy of Allah’s servants is one who submits before divine decree.”2

Short Expalantion

The attribute of taslim3 holds a rank higher than those of ridha4 and tawakkul5 . This is because a person who possesses this attribute abandons his own quest for seeking solutions to the problems that plague him and instead, dissociates himself from his inner attachments to such an extent that he hands himself over to Allah completely.

In the attribute of Riďa, the actions are generally consistent with human inclination and temperament, while in tawakkul, people take Allah as their agent, but such is not the case in the attribute of tasleem. The chosen ones of Allah are afflicted with various kinds of difficulties such as an ill-tempered spouse, poverty, disease, harassment by the people, and so on; but having submittedthemselves totally, they neither voice any protest nor do they experience any sort of unhappiness over these afflictions.

1) The Imam’s Reply

It has been narrated that sometimes, Imam Sadiq (as) entertained his guests with sweetmeat and porridge, whereas at other times, he presented them with olives and plain bread.

A person once said to him: “If you manage your affairs with prudence (and foresight), you will always be consistent and will thus be able to entertain your guests in the same manner at all times.”

“The management of our affairs lies in Allah’s hands (and we are in total submission to His Will). Whenever He grants us (an increased livelihood), we cater for our guests and ourselves liberally but whenever He restrains our livelihood, we too adjust our lives accordingly,” replied the Imam (as).6

2) Mu’adh Ibn Jabal

Mu’adh embraced Islam at the age of eighteen and participated in the battles of Badr, Uhud, Khandaq and some others. The Noble Prophet (S) established the bond of brotherhood between him and ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud.

Mu’adh was compassionate by nature and possessed a pleasant personality. The Noble Prophet (S) sent him to Yemen as its governor and showered him with numerous advices, one of them being: “Do not be too strict with the people; behave with them in such a manner that they are attracted to your speech and religion.”

During the Caliphate of the second Caliph, a battle ensued between the Muslims and the Romans and Mu’adh participated in it too.In the year 18 ah, in ‘Amwas, Syria, an epidemic of plague began to spread. Abu ‘Ubaidah, the commander of the Muslim army, was afflicted with the disease and when he realized that his death was inevitable, he appointed Mu’adh as his successor. The soldiers requested Mu’adh to pray for an end to the calamity but he declined to do so.

“This is not a calamity. Instead, it is a prayer of your Prophet (S); death of the pious and righteous ones, and martyrdom, which Allah grants to only a few from amongst you,” he said.

He then supplicated: “O’ Lord! Grant the household of Mu’adh their complete share of this Mercy (plague).”

Shortly afterwards, members of his household were afflicted with the disease and succumbed to it. When he too sensed its effects in his finger, he placed the finger in his mouth and biting it, said, “O’ Lord! This is small and trivial; make it blessed (for me).”

He eventually died of this plague (in the year 18 ah) at the age of 38 and was buried near Jordan.7

3) Learn Submission from the Pigeons

During the time of one of the prophets, there lived a lady who had a son who was in his youth and whom she loved dearly. As divine decree would have it, the son died leaving the mother greatly aggrieved and immensely disturbed. She was in such a state that her relatives approached the prophet of the time and sought his help.

When he came to the mother, the prophet found her in a state of sorrow and agitation and was weeping. His eyes then fell upon a pigeon-nest nearby. He turned to the lady and asked: “O’ Lady! Is this a pigeon-nest?”

The lady replied that it was.

“Do the pigeons give birth to their young ones?” asked the prophet.

“Yes.”

“Do all the young ones grow up to be able to fly?”

“No, we kill some of them for their flesh,” said the lady.

The prophet continued, “And despite this, these pigeons do not abandon their nest?”

“No, they do not move away to another place,” replied the lady.

The prophet then advised, “O’ Lady! Be apprehensive lest you be worse off than these pigeons in the eyes of your Lord. These pigeons, despite the fact that you kill and eat their young ones in front of their eyes, do not turn away from you. Whereas you, as a result of losing just one son, have directed your anger towards Allah, turned away from Him, exhibited all this agitation, and uttered things that are inappropriate.”

Hearing these words, her tears ceased and she never displayed impatience and discontent thenceforth.8

4) Sa’sah

Ahnaf Ibn Qais narrates: “Once, I complained to my paternal uncle Sa’sah, of stomach ache. Instead of sympathising with me, he rebuked me severely by saying: “O’ Nephew! Whenever you experience any discomfort and you complain about it to another being similar to yourself, there can exist only two possibilities on the issue: the person to whom you have narrated your problem is either your friend, in which case, quite obviously, he too would be concerned for you; or he is your enemy, in which case he would be delighted over your disturbed state.

Do not manifest your problem to someone who is like you and does not possess the power to free you from it; instead seek shelter in, and present the problem to Him, Who has afflicted you with it, for it is He, Who can rid you of it.

O’ Nephew! It has been forty years since one of my eyes lost its vision but I have not revealed this to anyone - not even my wife knows that I am blind in one eye!”9

5) Submission before a Ruling

The date-plantation of Zubair Ibn ‘Awwam (a cousin of the Noble Prophet (S)) lay adjacent to that of one of the Ansar (the Helpers). Once, there arose a dispute between them in respect of the irrigation of their lands.

In order to resolve the dispute they approached the Noble Prophet (S) and presented the problem to him. Taking into account the fact that the plantation of Zubair lay near the upper part of the land where the water came from, while that of the other person was near the lower section (and it was the customary practice that the upper part would be watered before the lower one), the Noble Prophet (S) ruled that it should be Zubair, who should water his plantation first, followed by the person from the Ansar.

Despite the totally just nature of the ruling, the Ansar was displeased and protested to the Noble Prophet (S) saying: “You have ruled in Zubair’s favour as he happens to be your cousin.”

The Noble Prophet (S) was so greatly upset at this antagonistic staement that the colour of his face changed. At this juncture, the following verse was revealed: “But no! By your Lord! They do not believe (in reality) until they make you a judge of that which has become a matter of disagreement among them, and then do not find any straitness in their hearts as to what you have decided and submit with entire submission.”10

This verse indicates that nobody can express dissatisfaction with the ruling of the leader of an Islamic government of the Noble Prophet (S) and seek to follow his own inclinations. One should submit totally to the verdict given.11

Notes

1. Noble Qur’an, Suratul An’am (6), Verse 71

2. Jame’ al-Sa’adat, Volume 3, Page 204

3. Submission to the will of Allah.(Tr.)

4. Satisfaction and pleasure over divine decree.(Tr.)

5. Complete reliance upon Allah.(Tr.)

6. Shanidani-ha-e-Tarikh, Page 32; Mahajjatul Baiďa, Volume 3, Page 43

7. Paighambar Wa Yaran, Pages 264–259; Tabaqat IbnSa’d , Volume 3, Pages 122-124

8. Namunah-e-Ma’arif, Volume 2, Page 761

9. Pand-e-Tarikh, Volume 5, Page 188; Al-Kuna Wa al-Alqab, Volume 2, Page 13

10. Noble Qur’an, Suratul Nisa (4), Verse 65 (و يُسَلِّمُوا تَسلِيمًا )

11. Dastan-ha Wa Pand-ha, Volume 9, Page 102; Majma’ul Bayan, Volume 3, Page 69

24. Contemplation

Allah, the Wise, has said:

اَوَلَمْ يَتَفَکَّرُوا فِي أََنْفُسِهِمْ مَا خَلَقَ اللٌّهُ السَّمٌواَتِ وَ الأََرْضَ وَ ماَ بَيْنَهُماَ إِلاَّ بِالْحَقِّ وَ أََجَلٍ مُسَمًّى

“Do they not reflect within themselves: Allah did not create the heavens and the earth and what is between them two but with truth, and (for) an appointed term?”1

Imam ‘Ali (as) said:

أَلتَّفَکُّرُ يَدْعُو إِِلـى الْبِرِّ وَ الْعَمَلِ بِهِ

“Contemplation invites (man) towards good (deed) and its performance.”2

Short Expalantion

Reflecting over one’s own state and that of the other people leads to the manifestation of the good, expiation of sins and illumination of the heart. It draws a person’s attention towards his Hereafter and brings about an increase in his or her (good) deeds.

Contemplation is a quality and an act of worship, the like of which there is none - just as the Noble Prophet (S) has said: “An hour of contemplation is superior to an entire year’s worship.” Only he, upon whose heart Allah has cast His glance and illuminated it with the light of His cognizance, can reach the station of contemplation, whereupon he then begins to perceive the world with a vision of comprehension and understanding, and never becomes heedless of Allah.3

1) Rabi’ah

Rabi’ah Ibn Ka’b reports: “Once, the Noble Prophet (S) said to me: “O’ Rabi’ah! You have been serving me for seven years and therefore, will you not ask for something from me in order that I grant it to you?”

“O’ Prophet of Allah! Grant me some time in order that I may reflect over the matter,” I requested. The next day, when I had arrived in his presence, the Prophet (S) said: “O’ Rabi’ah! Speak out your wish.”

“Pray to Allah that He makes me enter Paradise along with you!” I said.

Hearing this request, he inquired, “Who is it that has taught you to seek this from me?”

“No one has taught it to me. I considered that if I sought great wealth, it would eventually get exhausted; if I sought a long life and numerous children, the ultimate eventuality would be death; hence, as a result of this contemplation, I eventually opted for this request,” I replied.

The Noble Prophet (S) lowered his head for a few moments as he deliberated, after which, raising his head, he said: “I shall seek your wish from Allah, but you must help me too (in this matter) by prostrating excessively.”4

2) Contemplation before Action

One of the companions of the Noble Prophet (S) said to him: “I always tend to suffer losses in my business transactions. The guile and deception of the sellers or the purchasers act like magic and leave me cheated.”

The Noble Prophet (S) advised: “In every transaction in which you fear that you might be deceived, demand from the person with whom you are doing business with the right to annul the transaction within a period of three days. This is for the reason that should you happen to suffer losses, you would be able to take back your money. In addition, be patient and forbearing in the course of the transaction.

“Do know that contemplation and patience are from Allah, while hastiness and impetuosity are from Shaitan. You can learn this lesson from a dog, for when you throw a piece of bread to a dog, it does not immediately begin to eat it but first smells it and after finding it to be appropriate, begins eating it; similarly, you should smell every matter that comes up before you (i.e. reflect and ponder over the pros and cons of it and do not embark upon it without the preliminaries). You, with your intellect and wisdom, are no less than a dog; thus, contemplate and reflect before every action.”5

3) Types of Contemplation

Miqdad, one of the loyal companions of ‘Ali (as), says: “I went to Abu Hurairah who said that he had heard the Noble Prophet (S) say: ‘Contemplating for an hour is better than the worship of one year.’

I went to Ibn ‘Abbas and heard him say that the Noble Prophet (S) said: ‘Contemplation for one hour is superior to seven years of worship.’

I went to another companion and heard him narrate that the Noble Prophet (S) said: ‘An hour of contemplation is better than seventy years of worship.’

I was astonished to hear each of them narrating differently from the other and so, I approached the Noble Prophet (S) and informed him of the three different versions. He said: “All three of them speak the truth.” Then, in order to prove his point, he summoned the three men. All of us gathered in the presence of the Noble Prophet (S).

The Noble Prophet (S) asked Abu Hurairah: “How do you contemplate?”

“As stated by Allah in the Qur’an: ‘(Men of understanding) reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth.’6 . I too reflect upon the wonders of the heavens and the earth,” he replied.

The Noble Prophet (S) remarked, “One hour of your contemplation is better than one year of worship.”

Then turning to Ibn ‘Abbas, he asked, “How do you contemplate?”

“I reflect upon death and the horrors of the Day of Judgment,” replied Ibn ‘Abbas.

The Noble Prophet (S) said, “One hour of your contemplation is better than seven years of worship.” Then, he asked the other companion, “In what manner do you contemplate?”

The companion answered, “I reflect upon the fire of Hell and its dreadfulness and severity.”

“One hour of your contemplation is better than seventy years of worship,” the Noble Prophet (S) stated.

In this way the issue was solved and it became clear that the rewards for contemplation depended upon the intention that accompanied it.7

4) Thoughts of Leadership

Sa’di narrates: “One of my friends who was disturbed and distressed due to his meagre livelihood, complained to me about his low income and a large family.”

“In order to safeguard my reputation, I intend to shift to another city so that no one becomes aware of the abject state of my affairs,” he said. “You are aware that I know accounting and can maintain accounts; I have approached you so that you use your rank and position to get me a job in the government so that I might lead my remaining life with peace of mind and will be grateful to you for your efforts!”

I said to him, “Handling the accounts of the king entails two aspects; on the one hand it carries hope while on the other hand it is also work which has to be feared. Do not place yourself in an ominous situation for the hope which the work possesses.”

“In view of my condition, your advice appears to be inappropriate; in addition, you have not responded correctly to my request,” said the friend.

“You surely possess piety, knowledge and trustworthiness but (do realize that) envious and fault-finding individuals lie in wait for you. It is in your own interest that you lead your life with contentment and abandon the idea of a high rank and post,” I explained.

My friend was upset when he heard this and said, “What kind of reasoning and deliberation is this? It is in times of need that friends should step forward for help, for in good times even enemies pretend to be one’s friend.”

Sensing his embarrassment over my advice, I took him to the minister of treasury who was known to me. I narrated to him my friend’s plight and the minister assigned him the responsibility of a petty task.

As time passed, the officials found him to be vigilant and pleasant-mannered and so promoted him. After a long time, I embarked on a journey to Makkah with some of my friends. On the way back, not far from my city, I came across my friend who seemed to be in a state of distress. He came towards me looking depressed.

“Why are you in such a state?” I asked him.

“Just as you had predicted, a group of people became envious of me and accused me of treason,” he responded. “The king, without any investigation, threw me into prison and subjected me to torture and punishment. I remained in prison till the news of the return of the pilgrims reached the city, whereupon I was set free. The king even went to the extent of confiscating the inheritance which I had received from my father.”

Sa’di continues: “I said to him, ‘I had advised you previously that working for kings is similar to a journey by sea – beneficial, but at the same time, dangerous – you might either strike treasure or end up in destruction, but you refused to take heed!’”8

5) The Kingdom of Rey or Killing the Imam

Yazid instructed his governor, ‘Ubaidullah Ibn Ziyad, that if Husain (as) refused to pledge allegiance, he should fight the Imam (as).

Prior to the incident of Kerbala, ‘Ubaidullah Ibn Ziyad had appointed ‘Umar Ibn Sa`d as governor of the province of Rey, but before he could go there, ‘Ubaidullah Ibn Ziyad sent him a letter, which contained the following instructions: ‘Husain (as) has arrived in Iraq. First proceed to Iraq, fight with him, kill him and then proceed towards Rey.’

‘Umar IbnSa’d approached ‘Ubaidullah and requested: “O’ Amir! Relieve me of this responsibility!”

“I shall relieve you of this responsibility but I shall also relieve you of the governorship of Rey,” ‘Ubaidullah responded.

‘Umar IbnSa’d found himself hesitating between fighting the Imam (as) and governing the great kingdom of Rey. He requested ‘Ubaidullah to give him respite for a night so that he could reflect over the matter. ‘Ubaidullah agreed and ‘Umar Ibn Sa’d passed the entire night pondering over the matter till he eventually opted for the kingdom of Rey, which lay before him at that moment, but chose to disregard Hell and Paradise, which were in the next life. He decided to fight the Imam (as).

The next morning, he went to ‘Ubaidullah and expressed his readiness to accept the responsibility of fighting the Imam (as). ‘Ubaidullah placed a huge army at his disposal so that he could proceed to Kerbala for the purpose.

Imam Husain (as) entered Kerbala on the 2nd of Muharram while ‘Umar IbnSa’d , in his capacity as the supreme commander of his army and with a four thousand strong cavalry, arrived there on the 3rd.

He appointed Shimr as the chief of his army and on the 10th of Muharram went to the extent of ordering the killing of Imam Husain (as) and seventy two of his children and companions just for the purpose of acquiring the kingdom of Rey.”9

Notes

1. Noble Qur’an, Suratul Rum (30), Verse 8

2. Jame’ al-Sa’adat, Volume 1, Page 166

3. Tadhkerah al-Haqaiq, Page 29

4. Khazinatul Jawahir, Page 345; Al-Da’wat (By Rawandi)

5. Riwayat-ha Wa Hikayat-ha, Page 195; Dastan-ha-e-Mathnawi, Volume 2, Page 125

6. Noble Qur’an, Surat Ale ‘Imran (3), Verse 191

7. Dastan-ha Wa Pand-ha, Volume 5, Page 87; Tafsir Ruhul Bayan, Volume 8, Page 440

8. Hikayat-ha-e-Gulistan, Page 65

9. Muntahal A’mal, Volume 1, Page 333

25. Humiliation

Allah, the Wise, has said:

يَا أَيُّهاَ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لاَ يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِنْ قَوْمٍ

“O you who believe! let not (one) people laugh at (another) people.”1

The Noble Prophet (S) said:

مَنْ حَقَرَ مُؤْمِناً مِسْکِيناً أَوْ غَيْرَ مِسْکِينٍ لَمْ يَزَلِ اللٌّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ حَاقِراً لَهُ مَاقِتاً

“If a person humiliates a believer, indigent or otherwise, Allah shall always abhor and humiliate him.”2

Short Expalantion

Factors such as arrogance, malice, envy and the like cause some individuals to view others who are either illiterate or lack strength and whom they have compelled into performing base and lowly work, with contempt and humiliation.

Disparagement in every form is forbidden; moreover, if the humiliated person experiences a feeling of disgrace and injury, this is bound to result in a metaphysical reaction which would reflect badly upon the esteem and personality of the offender. Thus, it is befitting to take regard of the weakest of Allah’s creations so that, we too are encompassed by His grace and compassion.

1) Mufaďďhal Ibn ‘Umar

Once, a letter signed by some of the Shiite elders, was brought to Imam Sadiq (as) by a few of the signatories themselves. The letter complained of the friendship of Mufaďďhal Ibn ‘Umar, the Imam’s representative in Kufah, with some pigeon-fanciers, who were apparently not of good character.

After reading the letter, the Imam (as) wrote and sent a letter to Mufaďďhal through those very individuals who had brought the complaint to him.

Perchance, the Imam’s letter reached Mufaďďhal while some of the signatories of the letter of complaint were present in his house.

Opening the letter in their presence, he read it and then handed it over to them. When the signatories read the letter, they found that it contained some instructions from Imam (as) to Mufaďďhal, requiring him to arrange a transaction involving a large amount of money. The letter did not make the slightest reference to Mufaďďhal’s association with the pigion-fanciers.

Since the issue concerned the raising of money, Mufaďďhal’s guests lowered their heads and said that they needed time to think about it. They asked to be excused from making any monetary contribution.

Mufaďďhal, the intelligent person that he was, requested them to stay over for food and prevented them from leaving his house. In the meantime, he sent word to the pigeon-fanciers asking them to come to his house. When they had arrived, he read out the Imam’s letter to them in full view of the previous group. Without wasting any time, the pigeon-fanciers left and while the previous group was still engaged in consuming the food, they returned, handed over a large amount of money to Mufaďďhal and then took his leave.

At this point, Mufaďďhal turned to the complainants and said: “Despite the fact that these youths help the religion when the occasion demands and there exists a great possibility that they may turn to the right path, you desire that I should not entertain them and associate with them? Do you think Allah is in need of your prayers and fasts that you have become so haughty over them, but when it comes to money, you seek excuses and refuse to answer the call of the Imam (as)?”

The elders who had viewed Mufaďďhal’s friendship with those youths with contempt, were left mortified and speechless as they departed from his house.3

2) The Conduct of the Noble Prophet

The Noble Prophet (S) and a few other individuals were having their meal when a person, suffering from smallpox, came to the gathering. His disease was so acute that the boils had become septic. Every person, near whom this diseased person tried to sit, would show his revulsion and loathing by rising up and moving away from him. (Noticing this) the Noble Prophet (S) made the person sit beside himself and exhibited great kindness towards him.

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On another occasion, the Noble Prophet (S), together with a few of his companions, was busy having his food when a leper arrived in the gathering. The people present expressed their abhorrence and detestation over his arrival but the Noble Prophet (S) asked him to sit next to himself and invited him to eat the food.

A person from the Quraish, who had displayed his aversion, was afflicted with the same disease before meeting his death!4

3) The Consequence of Holding Someone in Contempt

There lived amongst Bani Isra`il , a person who was so sinful and immoral that they eventually had him expelled from their midst.

Once, while wandering around, he came across a pious worshipper, above whose head flew a pigeon casting its shadow over him (thus protecting him from the sun). He said to himself: “I am a Banished person but this man is a pious individual; if I sit near him it is possible that due to his piety, Allah may show mercy upon me too.”

With this in mind, he approached the worshipper and sat down beside him. On seeing the exiled man sit next to him, the worshipper thought to himself: “I am the pious worshipper of this tribe whilst he is a disreputable, Banished and despised sinner; how can he sit down beside me?” Turning his head away from the man, the worshipper ordered him to go away from him.

Just as he had uttered these words, Allah revealed to the prophet of the time: “Go to those two persons and ask them to start their deeds afresh, for I have forgiven all the sins of the immoral person and erased all the good deeds of the worshipper,” (for exhibiting self-conceit and holding the other person in contempt).5

4) The Short and Ugly Son

Sa’di narrates: “A king had several sons, one of them being short, thin and ugly, while the others were tall and good-looking.

The king would look at the short son with scorn and contempt, thereby causing him humiliation. The son, being intelligent, realized why his father looked down upon him and so said to him: “O’ Father! A short but wise person is better than a tall but ignorant one. He who is taller is not necessarily better and superior; a sheep is clean but an elephant, like a carcass, always possess a foul smell.”

The son’s words made the king laugh and the elders of the court approved of what he said, but his brothers were upset.

Coincidentally, during those days, it so happened that the enemy forces attacked the kingdom and the first person from the king’s army to heroically attack the enemy was the king’s short and ugly son. With a display of great courage, he felled a few of the enemy chiefs and then, returning to his father and paying his respects to him, said: “On the day of battle the lean horse comes of use.” Despite the fact that a group of his soldiers had taken flight, the son returned to the battlefield.

“O’ Men! Endeavour hard or else put on the dress of womenfolk,” he shouted with bitter sarcasm.

This sarcasm breathed fresh life into the cavalry who fought with renewed vigour till they eventually overcame the enemy forces and became victorious. The king kissed his son all over the face and named him his successor. From then on, he looked at this son with great respect and esteem. These events caused his brothers to become so envious of him that they put poison into his food in order to get rid of him. Fortunately, his sister watched what was happening through a small door and sent a warning signal to her brother by shutting the door loudly. The intelligent brother became suspicious and abstained from eating the food.

“It is impossible for skilled people to die while the unskilled ones continue to live on and take their place,” he commented.

When the king was informed of the incident, he reprimanded the other brothers and sent each of them to the farthest part of his kingdom.6

5) Bring forth One Worse thanYourself !]

Allah revealed to Prophet Musa (as): “The next time you come to converse withMe , bring along someone who is inferior to you.”

Musa (as) set out in quest of such a person but failed to find one, because every person that he encountered, he did not have the nerve to think that he was superior to that person.

Then, deciding to direct his search amongst the animals, his eyes fell upon a diseased dog. He decided to take it along with him. He tied a rope around the dog’s neck and began pulling it but after a short distance, he regretted his action and set the dog free. He returned empty-handed to have his conversation with Allah.

“Why did you not bring someone along with you, in accordance withMy order?” came the voice from Allah.

Musa (as) beseeched, “O’ Lord! I failed to find anyone who could be inferior to me.”

The reply came from Allah: “By My Might and Glory! Had you brought someone, regarding him to be inferior to yourself, I would have surely erased your name from the list of Prophets (and relieved you of the rank of Prophethood)!”7

Notes

1. Noble Qur’an, Suratul Hujarat (49), Verse 11

2. Jame’ al-Sa’adat, Volume 2, Page 215

3. Ba MardumIn Guneh Barkhord Konim, Page 78; Manhajul Maqal of Astarabadi, Page 343

4. ‘Ilm-e-Akhlaq-e-Islami, Volume 1, Page 435; Jame’ al-Sa’adat, Volume 1, Page 357

5. Shanidani-ha-e-Tarikh, Page 373; Mahajjatul Baiďa, Volume 6, Page 239

6. Hikayat-ha-e-Gulistan, Page 43

7. Namunah-e-Ma’arif, Volume 2, Page 676; Layaliul Akhbar, Page 197