Marital Life: Importance and Issues

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Marital Life: Importance and Issues

Marital Life: Importance and Issues

Author:
Publisher: Association of Imam Mahdi
English

www.alhassanain.org/english

Marital Life: Importance and Issues

Publisher(s): Association of Imam Mahdi

www.alhassanain.org/english

Allah and His representatives have given us the best rules for a great marital life. They have explained every minute detail. When we do not observe these rights, do not follow the rules or cross our limits, life turns boring and marital life falls prey to differences and it will lead to all that is happening these days. Only if we would have truly act upon the Islamic teachings, behaved well with each other for the satisfaction of Allah and His Messenger (S) will we be able to have a good marriage and a good society.

Miscellaneous information:

Marital Life: Importance and Issues Compiled & Published by: Association of Imam Mahdi P.O. Box 19822, Mumbai – 400 050. Month & Year of Publishing September 2013

Notice:

This version is published on behalf of www.alhassanain.org/english

The composing errors are not corrected.

Table of Contents

Marital Life: Importance and Issues 8

1. Investigation and Analysis 10

2. Lack of Training 11

3. Expectations 12

4. Marriage between equals 13

5. Television and Internet 14

6. Worldly Attractions 15

7. Ignorance from the Disadvantages of Divorce 16

a. Effect on Families 16

b. Effect on Children 16

c. Effect on Spirituality 16

d. Second marriage becomes difficult 16

e. Dissatisfaction of Allah and the Messenger (s.a.w.a.) 16

8. Interference of Parents 17

9. Short temperedness 19

Notes 21

Can these difficulties be resolved? 22

1. Non-Islamic Way 23

a. Magic 23

b. Restrictions 23

c. Complaints and Legal Action 24

2. Islamic Way 25

a. Dua and Tawassul 25

b. Imagine ourselves in that position 25

c. Mutual Discussion 26

Salutations on that Lady 27

d. Consulting a Religious Scholar 28

e. Advice and Admonishment 29

Even such things happen 29

f. Family Court 30

Notes 33

Rights of Husband and Wife 34

Love is the Key to Peace 35

Love and Mercy 36

Rights of the Wife 37

Alimony 38

Struggle in the Way of Allah 39

700 times the Reward 40

Rights of the Husband 41

Displeasure of the Husband 42

Stepping out of the house without the Husband’s Permission 43

Adorning oneself for the Husband 44

Welcoming and Seeing Off 45

Best and Worst Men 46

Notes 47

Only If… 48

Marital Life: Importance and Issues

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَحِيْمِ وَ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْكَ يَا وَلِيَّ الْعَصْرِ (عج) اَدْرِكْنَا

Marital life is an innate need of every human being. Allah, the Almighty, has created a suitor for everyone. The Divine system allows human beings to find their partners themselves and spend their lives fulfilling the necessities of life. Allah, the Most High, has granted man superiority over all other creatures. Accordingly, the laws and issues of the married life of man are different from all other creatures.

Allah has greatly emphasized on marriage in the life of an individual. Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) has considered marriage among those traditions (sunnah) that “one who turns away from it is not a part of his nation”. Marriage has been regarded as “protection of half of faith” and “the prayers of a married person carry seventy times more reward”.

Nevertheless, marriage is an essential and necessary aspect of a person’s life without which, life is not just incomplete but also disturbed and stressed. Marriage has been regarded as a cause of peace, tranquility, love, affection, proximity to Allah and forgiveness of sins. Living together despite different natures and customs has been considered as striving (Jehaad). Glad tidings of Paradise have been given for living a successful life. Caring for the husband has been regarded as Jehaad, nurturing children as an excellent worship, being obedient as a great fortune and leading a married life while bearing hardships and calamities has been considered as a medium of raise in grades.

Islam dislikes disputes, differences, quarrels and skirmishes. Among all things which are permissible (Mubah), divorce is the most detestable.

Despite all these admonishments, emphases and encouragements, conjugal life is a big issue these days. Previously, marriage was seen as bliss. Nowadays, it is completely converse. Reports of disputes are being heard from everywhere be it cities or villages, the issues are common everywhere. These issues are prevalent, in no less numbers, even in educated and financially sound households.

These marriage issues are more dangerous than a cancerous virus. A cancer virus affects only an individual but these issues impact two families and even the children and future generations. These issues affect even religion and faith because when these differences take the shape of complaints then things are not just restricted to narrating of facts but they result into an endless series of allegations and accusations and families are involved in sins. When sins gain a stronghold, divine blessings and bounties decrease. As a result, the differences continue to increase.

Nowadays, married life has become a victim of differences. These differences start cropping up only a few days after marriage. Another peculiarity about couples these days is that instead of resolving matters, both parties want a quick divorce. Something which Allah despises has become the first choice of people. What is the reason for this destruction? Simply sighing over issues or discussing them with someone else is not the solution. People tend to only discuss these issues in public but seldom think about resolving these disputes.

Let us try to find its causes and influencing factors by pleading in the sacred presence of Hazrat Vali-e-Asr (a.t.f.s.) for his special attention and then try to look for its cure and solution. Every problem has a solution and every illness has a cure.

1. Investigation and Analysis

One of the reasons for differences is that the two parties do not investigate or inquire enough about each other before marriage. Discussions are limited to education, post, occupation, income, house and good looks. How well educated are the boy or the girl? How do they look? What is the occupation of the parents? How big is their house? At the most, the family history and lineage are enquired about. None of these are a guarantee for a successful life. The fundamental aspects which will ensure peace and tranquility in life are the morals and nature of the boy and girl and their families, and the manner in which they talk.

These days, marriages are being called off more on account of morals and behavior than money. The fact that true morals and conduct can be known only by staying together is undeniable but we can definitely get a good indication of the true character through the neighborhood and surroundings. The conduct and character of the family can definitely be known by interacting with people who know them. The environment at home does leave an impact on the children. Hence, it is important to investigate thoroughly before agreeing to the marriage.

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.a.) said:

إِذَا هَمَمْتَ بِأَمْرٍ فَتَدَبَّرْ عَاقِبَتَهُ فَإِنْ كَانَ خَيْراً فَأَسْرِعْ إِلَيْهِ وَ إِنْ كَانَ شَرّاً فَانْتَهِ عَنْهُ

“When you intend to do anything, then ponder over its end result. If it (the end) is good then hasten towards it and if it is evil then stay away from it.”1

Marriage means laying the foundation of a blessed family and hence the foundation needs to be strong. Especially those marriages which are being fixed via the internet require more investigation.

Youth, when they are impressed with someone, they accept each other so unconditionally that they are unwilling to accept any suggestions in this regard. It is a request to those youth to never underestimate the suggestions of their parents. Their experienced vision is capable of looking at things which young eyes cannot comprehend.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Hence, it needs to be carefully thought out.

2. Lack of Training

If a youth wants to drive a car then it is important for him to be completely trained on it. He can drive a car only after he has learnt it completely.

In older days, people coexisted in joint families. Grandparents, uncles and aunts all lived together. People with different natures lived in the same house. The elders would keep an eye on the children and used to train them. They would instruct them of the ups and downs, the culture of the house itself and would train them how to co-exist with people of different natures. Apart from this, girls did not receive higher education. They were seldom married immediately after their primary education or during its course. So, there was a gap of few years between completion of their education and marriage. During this period girls got an opportunity stay in joint families and practically learn the house-keeping. They learnt to cook and stitch clothes and all such things were greatly emphasized upon. The effect of this was that a girl would step into her in-laws house with experience by her side. She knew how to look after her husband as well as co-exist with people of different natures. She knew how to maintain relations. Consequentially, most marriages used to be successful.

Joint families have disappeared today. Large houses have transformed into 2-bedroom flats. There are no elders in the house. Grandparents, uncles and aunts live separate while children live separately with their parents. Hence, the training which was imparted to live with people of different natures no longer exists. The practical lessons of patience and forbearance have vanished. On the other hand, these days, girls are either married during the course of their education or are engaged. The modern education system neither has any discussion on house-keeping nor on morals and etiquette. There is no chance of learning house-keeping and looking after the husband after completing education. The result is that the vehicle of life is driven without appropriate training. It is similar to a youth driving a brand new car from the showroom without knowing how to drive. It is obvious that the consequence of this would be an accident. This accident could be major or minor. Hence, if a youth wants to drive a car on the road then along with the car being good, knowledge of driving is also a must.

Therefore, today, there is a strong need for a training course before marriage which educates on the various aspects of married life so that the vehicle of life does not meet with any accident.

3. Expectations

Before marriage, the boy and girl as well as their parents have such high expectations and pin such high hopes on each other that it hurts when expectations are not met. Questions begin to arise in each other’s minds. The hearts start speaking out. Complaints start flooding in and both sides consider their grievances to be valid, which worsens the situation and spoils relations as well. In such a situation, relatives of both sides especially parents aggravate it even further; the boy’s mother just can’t stop lauding her son. A complaint which could have been resolved merely by a clarification, now gains strength and then one complaint gives rise to another leading to ruining of relations.

Each one feels that the other person didn’t fulfill my rights and didn’t submit to my wishes. Only if we thought how well have we fulfilled the rights of others and what are the rights of other people over us. On the Day of Judgment, we shall not be questioned as to how well others have fulfilled our rights. Rather we shall be asked how well have we fulfilled the rights of others upon us and what rights do others have over us. We shall not be questioned as to why did others not accept our apology and didn’t forgive us? Rather we shall be asked why did we not accept apology from others and why did we not forgive them even after they sought forgiveness from us? If you are so hard-hearted that you are not ready to forgive each other despite being asked for pardon, then how can you seek forgiveness in front of Allah for your major sins?

Allah, the Almighty, says in the Holy Quran that

‘if you are grateful then I shall certainly increase for you.’2

Being grateful to someone encourages that person, increases affection, values good actions and a person wants to continue performing good actions in future; rather it inspires to do better. If a couple thank each other for their good actions, it will increase the love in their hearts. A wife once said: when anything good happens in the house e.g. good food is cooked or his clothes are ironed, then he is thankful. Similarly, if he brings anything for the house, we thank him. Upon hearing this, another lady who was sitting there remarked: My husband has never thanked me irrespective of whatever I do.

No such vaccination has been invented to increase love in the hearts. There has not been any medicine called “Love of the Hearts” has been devised that eating it would result in development of love in the hearts. Love is developed through goodness and serving each other, by thanking and being grateful to the good deeds and service done to each other.

4. Marriage between equals

When we talk about service, often such things are heard: our relationship is that of equals, we are partners of each other i.e. we are both equal to each other. Then why should we serve one another? If it is a marriage between equals then why should we serve our husbands? Why should we be grateful?

These are effects of western culture. Marriage is a sacred and a lifelong relationship. Peace and tranquility in life are dependent on it. Survival of this relationship is a great fortune. The issue is not with serving each other. It is about keeping the relationship alive. A person said that if my life is affected so is hers. The question is what will we gain if someone else’s life is impacted? Will we be better off if the other person is worse off? If relations sour, will it impact both or only one? If people ponder over the fact that matters can be resolved merely by expressing gratefulness and some regret, then there is no point losing sleep over something which can be dealt with kind words. It is nothing but foolishness, to worsen matters due to our ‘ego’ which can be resolved easily otherwise.

5. Television and Internet

It is fact that the west is far advanced in science and technology than us. But it does not mean that it is also better than us in morals and etiquette, religion and faith. Various things which are portrayed through the medium of television, internet, Facebook, etc. and the kinds of films which are shown have impacted our marital life immensely. The existence of traditional weddings is far less in the west. There are more of friendly relations. They are more like two partners of a firm. The partnership continues till the time both are deriving benefit from it, otherwise they call it quits. Marital life for them means staying together either until they like each other, or else they part ways and look for someone else.

The situation in India is unlike this. Here, religion and faith exist and so do morals and etiquette. Marriage is a sacrosanct relationship, worship, proximity to God, protection of religion and faith. Therefore, imitating the West in these matters is nothing but self-destruction. Apart from this, the mutual discord and differences shown through television programs, and the people responsible for them who get heavily paid for doing so have no connection with real life. The dialogues used are completely scripted and are alien to reality. All those stories are false and there is no truth in them. But unfortunately man is deceived by the apparent. He considers it to be true and tries to implement the same in his life.

Nevertheless, programs on television and internet which destroy morals and serials ruining religion and faith have negatively affected the lives of youth. Intellect and wisdom demand that we should refrain from such programs. We should not let our lives be impacted by false stories.

6. Worldly Attractions

One of the peculiarities of this world is that all that glitters seems gold. Advertisements which appear in television and newspapers glorify things to such an extent that it seems life is incomplete without them. We feel our problems would be solved if we have a particular thing but procuring it is never easy. The more attractive it seems in the advertisement, the tougher it is to obtain it.

Further, if that thing is not obtained, people begin to speak ill. A polite conversation gets converted to taunting and the situation starts getting worse. Interestingly, if that thing is obtained, after a few days a new demand crops up whether it is clothes, jewelry or anything else. Its importance is also lost after some days. Greed is a calamity which has no end. If the couple takes steps according to their income and necessities, the money saved shall benefit both. Bitterness of relationships can also be reduced through contentment.

7. Ignorance from the Disadvantages of Divorce

Anger is considered to be a kind of insanity. A person loses the ability to think and reflect while he is in a state of anger. He does not pay heed to the other person and by the time he is able to comprehend, it’s too late. If he carefully thinks through its disadvantages and considers all perspectives, then he can remain safe from destruction, devastation, humiliation and regret. Some of the disadvantages are as follows:

a. Effect on Families

Just as marriage brings together not just two individuals but two families, similarly divorce also impacts not just the couple but also their families. Family relations are spoilt and friendship turns into enmity.

b. Effect on Children

Children are the most invaluable gifts from Allah. Their upbringing is the parents’ responsibility. Both parents are important for a child. When parents part ways after a divorce, the children are either deprived of a father’s compassion or a mother’s love and affection. Their education, health, morals and etiquette, everything is affected. It affects their future as well. If children remain with their father, then although their expenses are taken care of but when the father is out for his work or business then who will look after them especially girls. A father’s innate nature allows him to be patient only up to a certain extent. If they stay with their mother, then along with expenses they will be devoid of a guide. A mother can only look after them in the house, not beyond that. Children, who are the greatest bounty in this world, will be affected due to mutual differences. Sacrificing for something which is valuable is a sign of humanity.

c. Effect on Spirituality

The lives of both husband and wife are affected due to divorce. Sometimes the effect results in demoralization. Not a single person seems reliable and trustworthy. Everyone appears doubtful. A person becomes irritable.

d. Second marriage becomes difficult

Sometimes such people become so pessimistic that they are never prepared to remarry whereas marriage is a necessity of life. The need for a house does not cease to exist if the existing house collapses. Second marriage becomes difficult. Families are extremely cautious. Everything is questioned.

e. Dissatisfaction of Allah and the Messenger (s.a.w.a.)

Although Allah and His Messenger (s.a.w.a.) have permitted divorce under some conditions but in their view, it is the most hated and annoying among all those things which are permissible. Hazrat Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) says:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ يُحِبُّ الْبَيْتَ الَّذِي فِيهِ الْعُرْسُ وَ يُبْغِضُ الْبَيْتَ الَّذِي فِيهِ الطَّلَاقُ وَ مَا مِنْ شَيْ‏ءٍ أَبْغَضَ إِلَى اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ مِنَ الطَّلَاقِ

“Allah, Mighty and Majestic be He, loves the house in which there is marriage and hates the house in which there is divorce. There is nothing more disliked near Allah, Mighty and Majestic be He, than divorce.”3

Hazrat Ali ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) has narrated from Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.):

تَزَوَّجُوْاوَلَاتُطَلِّقُوْافَإِنَّالطَّلَاقَ يَهْتَزُّمِنْهُ الْعَرْشُ

“Marry but do not divorce for surely divorce makes the Arsh (Divine throne) tremble.”4

Islam has permitted divorce but only on the condition that it becomes absolutely impossible to stay together. Simply divorcing because of personal ego or that of the parents or due to social status or due to love for someone else, makes the Arsh tremble and its result shall not be favorable in Qiyamat.

8. Interference of Parents

One of the major reasons for issues which are observed in daily life and the relationship between the boy and the girl being spoilt is interference of parents, especially mother or some other elder member of the family.

It should be firmly borne in mind that obedience to parents is obligatory. It is necessary to treat them kindly. However, this obedience is not limitless but confined. After marriage, obedience of the husband is obligatory for a girl and not of her parents. It is very well known to all that a girl can neither step out of her house nor invite anyone as a guest without the permission of her husband. The husband, though, does not require the permission of his wife to go out of the house. But obedience of parents just to offend the wife or to torture her is not necessary. If the parents force their son to divorce his wife and threaten to disown him in case he fails to do so, even then their obedience is not obligatory and not obeying them in such a situation shall not be considered as their disobedience.

After marriage, without the permission of the husband, if a girl is forced by her parents to stay with them instead of her husband, then this is incorrect as per Islamic Shariah.

There are many incidents where girls want to stay with their husbands but their parents do not permit. In such a situation, obeying parents is not necessary rather it is obligatory to stay with the husband. According to traditions, till the time a woman is outside her house without the permission of her husband, she will be cursed by angels. Blessings and peace cannot descend at a place which is cursed.

Post marriage, it is the responsibility of the parents especially mother, to not encourage her daughter’s complaints. Rather she should advise her daughter to be patient and forbearing and teaching her ways to try and win her husband’s love by serving him. She should not advocate on her behalf by exaggerating her daughter’s complaints in front of others.

Nowadays parents, especially mother, become advocates of their children, blow things out of proportion, consider their children as perfect and try to prove the other person as mistaken and oppressive. The situation worsens, misconceptions are converted to allegations and accusations and matters get out of control. Such things which don’t even exist are spoken about each other. In such a situation, how can someone express regret for something he/she has not done at all. If parents refrain from interfering in the married life of their children, let them live with each other, understand and adjust with each other and allow them to settle things between themselves then things will be under control.

Here, it is the responsibility of the couple to respect and honor each other, trust each other, not let things go outside the privacy of the house and not encourage those who are inquisitive about it by not divulging anything to them. It is a humble request to parents that if they wish to see a blissful life of their children then refrain from undue interference in their marital issues, encourage them to face the difficulties and calamities, don’t discourage them.

9. Short temperedness

The world today is such that people are extremely short tempered, get angry very quickly and are uncontrollable. This short temper plays a vital role in today’s marital life. A spark will result in a fire and there is no smoke without fire. The current system of education and training is such that levels of patience and forbearance are reducing by the day. Anger seems to increase every moment. The effect of this anger upon others is of secondary importance while man himself is deeply impacted by it. His status and position is tainted and domestic life is devastated.

Anger is a part of human nature and a portion of his innate nature as well. Without anger there wouldn’t be any self-esteem and courage. But making best use of one’s anger is the knack of a person. Experts say that when we are angry, we should not let out our anger immediately but delay it by 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, we are free to decide whether we need to express our anger or be patient. We will see the fruits of this approach over time. Now read this incident carefully. This is an incident of a short tempered wife and her husband.

“Since the past 3-4 years, there has been a steady increase in my anger daily. My mental condition is going from bad to worse. I’m beset by illness and disease. I’ve consulted many doctors including psychologists but to no avail. Getting angry with children on petty issues and quarreling with my husband has become routine. When the anger subsides, I pity myself, there is a feeling of remorse and then I turn affectionate towards my dear children.

My mother keeps telling me to not be so short tempered, I should be respectful to my husband and honor him, treat my children with mercy because such anger will not benefit anyone. There will be chaos in the house and it will spoil the children. But I would not be affected by anything. I always wanted to control my anger but was never successful. This is what happened one day:

There was a quarrel between me and my husband over a petty issue. He was just telling me that we should visit his grandmother but I refused to go. Things got so bad that I flung a slipper at my child. Although, it missed him but it broke the window and hit a person walking on the street. I can’t explain the embarrassment thereafter.

Even my husband is by no means any better. When he sits with the children for their homework, he gets extremely violent and beats them up. If I try to interrupt, then he scolds me off.

Such was our routine. Every day in the house was a hazard and finally, we were left with nothing else but embarrassment. But it was all of no use. Even the children were fed up of this daily humdrum.

Coincidentally, one day there was a program on ‘How to control one’s anger?’ They said:

“A person should try and control his anger. The bravest person is he who can control his anger. One who protects others from his anger, Allah shall protect him from His wrath and anger on the Day of Qiyamat. The woman of the house should never get angry. She should safeguard her children and her husband from her anger. I request you that next time when you get angry, just try and control your anger for 5 minutes. Believe me! You will learn to control your anger by practicing only a few times. Just start right away.”

This had such a deep impact over me that it is inexpressible. I could recollect each and every thing of the past and wept continuously for a long time by remembering how I had wronged my children and my husband. I acted upon that advice with all seriousness. My tension has reduced and the atmosphere at home has improved. Now there is no headache or illness nor any need for a doctor, treatment or medicines. Now there is love, affection, honor and respect among everyone in the house. The anger which made my house a living hell, control over it has now transformed that same house into paradise. Now I’m in no need to visit any doctor or medicines, the atmosphere in the house is peaceful and everyone is happy.

Notes

1. Behaar al-Anwaar, vol. 71, p. 342, H. 15

2. Surah Ibrahim (14): 7

3. Al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 54, H. 3

4. Awaali al-La’ali, vol. 2, p. 139, H. 387

Can these difficulties be resolved?

The aforementioned few points were those which impact the marital life of this generation. Bearing in mind that every pain has a cure and water quenches thirst, a question is raised as to what is the solution to such marital problems? These problems can be resolved in two ways:

1. Non-Islamic way

2. Islamic way

Both ways have been briefly explained further.

1. Non-Islamic Way

a. Magic

Some people bank on magic or filthy practices, approach various Babas and waste not just their time and money but their faith and beliefs as well.

Hazrat Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) has narrated on the authority of his grandfather Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.):

“Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) said in reply to a question by a lady who asked him (s.a.w.a.) that my husband is cruel towards me. I have resorted to magic to woo him and win him over. Is this right?

Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) replied: Woe be unto you! You have disturbed the seas and earth. The greatest angels of Allah and the angels of the heavens and the earth are cursing you.

On hearing this, the lady started fasting, praying, chopped off her hair and wore coarse clothes (so that Allah would forgive her).

When the Prophet (s.a.w.a.) was informed of this he said: Allah will not forgive her by all this.”1

Such things are quite common these days. People believe in black magic, get influenced by the various advertisements which are displayed, believe in such things instead of Allah and His Messenger, keep running after it forever and make matters worse. Islam has strictly forbidden such magic. If magic could resolve problems, then there wouldn’t exit so many differences and households wouldn’t have been destroyed. Hence, such things should be strictly refrained from.

b. Restrictions

Some people are under a common misconception that being strict in the house would resolve issues. This is just a presumption and is far away from reality. Apart from this Islam has not permitted use of force and being oppressive.

When Allah sent Hazrat Moosa (a.s.) to a tyrant, oppressive person like Firaun, who claimed Godhood, He ordered,

فَقُوْلَالَه قَوْلاًلَيِّناً

Then (you and Haroon) speak to him a gentle word.

One of the characteristics of Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) has been described as

وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّاغَلِيْظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّوْا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ

and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you.

When Islam emphasis on a soft behavior with disbelievers, polytheists, claimants of Godhood, then how can it permit strictness in domestic matters. Based on this –

i. Islam has not permitted injustice and oppression

ii. We will be answerable for our injustice and oppression on the Day of Qiyamat

iii. Relationships will get ruined further

iv. Fear halts the road to progress

v. Spoils the atmosphere at home

vi. It will result in the upbringing of children

vii. Allah and the Prophet will be displeased

viii. Blessings and bounties will reduce

c. Complaints and Legal Action

Some people start complaining, sometimes to relatives or sometimes they even reach the police. Matters reach the court. Things are not resolved by this. On the contrary they get worse. Those who benefit are police and lawyers and we are left with loss of time, money and self-esteem.

Apart from this, it also leads to a lot of forbidden acts such as lying, taking false oath, giving false testimony, slandering, accusations and other prohibited acts. Because as per the Indian Judicial System, a case is not considered to be strong until one truth is accompanied by a number of lies, accusations, false allegations and all these forbidden acts are to be repeatedly performed.

Islam has given an oppressed person the right to complain but has not permitted lies, accusations and false charges. Rarely and seldom are such incidents heard that the situation improves after taking the matter to the court. Rather, even a faint ray of hope dwindles away. Nevertheless, even if the court rules in favor of a divorce, then too the divorce cannot be considered valid because it does not fulfill the conditions for divorce. Marital relations are not cut-off due on account of such divorces.

Table of Contents

Dedication 19

The Publisher’s preface 20

Introduction 21

(1) 21

(2) 21

(3) 21

(4) 22

(5) 22

(6) 22

(7) 23

(8) 23

(9) 23

(10) 24

(11) 24

(12) 24

(13) 25

(14) 25

(15) 26

(16) 26

(17) 26

(18) 27

(19) 27

Mecca the honored town 28

Other names of Mecca 28

1. Ummol Qura (mother of villages) 28

2. Al-Balad al-Ameen (the safe country) 28

3. Becca 28

4. The Inviolable House 28

Its locality 29

Mecca is the most beloved place to the Prophet 29

The Prophet glorifies the Kaaba 29

The Prophet puts the Rock in its place 30

The first who lived in Mecca 30

The cultural life 31

Dar an-Nadwa 31

Hilf al-Fudhool (alliance of virtues) 31

The religious life 31

Who denied the idols 32

1. Umru’ ul-Qayss 32

2. Ghawi bin Abdul Uzza 32

3. Zayd bin Umar 32

4. A nomad man 32

5. Khuza’a bin Abd 32

6. Abdurrahman 32

The belief of the Hashemites 33

The Prophet destroys the idols 33

The economic life 33

The social life 34

The Hashemites 34

The Umayyads 34

Great personalities and glories 36

Hashim 36

Abdul Muttalib 37

Abdul Muttalib’s faith 37

Entrusting the hospitality of the pilgrims to him 37

Restoring the well of Zamzam 38

Abdul Muttalib’s vision 38

Abdul Muttalib’s vow 39

His care for the Prophet 39

Towards the High Companion 40

Fatherhood, motherhood, and a shine 41

The father: Abdullah 41

To the heavens 41

The mother: Aaminah 41

Aaminah’s vision 42

The shining of light 42

His name 43

Signs and miracles 43

The Jews’ fear 43

His wet-nurses 43

With his foster-sisters 44

A rejected narration 44

His nursemaid 45

The death of Aaminah 45

A rejected narration 45

Abdul Muttalib’s death 46

Under Abu Talib’s care 46

The care of Abu Talib’s wife to Muhammad 46

With his uncle to Sham 47

With a priest 47

The battle of al-Fijar 48

Grazing of sheep 48

Disdaining from playing 49

Placing the Black Rock in its place 49

Trading with the capitals of Khadijah 49

His marriage to Khadijah 50

The Prophet adopts Ali 51

His characteristics 52

Willpower 52

High morality 52

A word by Imam Ali 53

Forbearance 54

Generosity 56

Modesty 57

Asceticism 58

Turning to Allah 59

His prayer 59

a. assigning the time of prayer 59

b. the caller (mu’azzin) 59

c. His care for congregational prayer 59

d. Regulating the rows of Muslims 60

e. His much praying 60

f. His weeping in his prayers 60

Coyness 60

Remembrance of Allah 61

His weeps when certain verses are recited before him 61

Compassion and mercifulness 61

Loyalty 62

Courage 63

The love to the poor 63

Disdaining of haughtiness 64

Patience 64

Justice 64

Cleanness 65

His fondness of perfumes 65

Sense of humor 65

Eloquence and rhetoric 66

Gravity 66

Prudent policy 66

In the cave of Hara’ 68

The revelation 68

With Khadijah 69

Khadijah and Ali’s faith 69

The Prophet’s prayer in the Kaaba 70

Circumambulating the Kaaba 70

Secret invitation 71

Publicity of the mission 72

Worry of Quraysh 72

Severe procedures 73

Mocking 73

Inciting the children to harm the Prophet 73

Accusing the Prophet of madness 73

1. Al-Waleed bin al-Mughirah 73

2. Al-Aas bin Wa’il 74

3. Al-Aswad bin Abd Yaghuth 74

4. Al-Harith 74

5. Al-Aswad bin al-Harith 74

1. Abu Jahl 74

2. Abu Lahab (the Prophet’s uncle) 75

3. Uqbah bin Abi Ma’eet 75

4. Al-Hakam bin Abil-Aas 75

5. Umayyah bin Khalaf 76

Accusing the Prophet of magic 76

Preventing praisers from coming to him 76

Preventing people from embracing Islam 76

Persecuting the believers 77

The Prophet asks Muslims to be steadfast 78

Abu Talib protects the Prophet 78

Quraysh ask Abu Talib to deliver them the Prophet 79

Abu Talib orders Ja’far to follow the Prophet 79

By Allah I won’t fail the Prophet 80

Abu Talib invites an-Najashi to Islam 80

Hamza becomes a Muslim 80

The first emigration to Abyssinia 81

The second emigration of Muslims 83

Umar turns a Muslim 83

Quraysh negotiates with the Prophet 84

As-Sahifah (document) 85

In the Shi’b (defile) of Abu Talib 86

The Prophet and the tribes 87

The Prophet’s supplication 88

The Night Journey and the Ascension 88

The Ascension 89

With the Exalted Creator 89

The goals of the Ascension 90

The influence of the Ascension in Mecca 90

The Ascension: spiritual or bodily? 91

Arguments 91

Farid Wajdi’s opinion 92

The year of sorrow: Abu Talib’s death 93

Abu Talib’s will 93

To immortality 94

Khadijah’s death 95

The gifts of Allah on her 96

To the Paradise 96

The first homage of al-Aqabah 97

Sending Mus’ab a deputy to Medina 97

The second homage of al-Aqabah 98

The Prophet meets with the Ansar 98

Fear of Quraysh 100

Muslims’ emigration to Medina 100

The Muhajireen in the hospitality of the Ansar 101

The method of the mission in Mecca 101

1. wisdom and good preaching 101

2. good saying 101

3. leniency and mercy 101

4. repelling evil with what is best 101

5. patience 102

6. warning the unbelievers against Allah’s punishment 102

7. giving good tidings to the believers to be in the Paradise 102

The invitation to Allah 102

The existence of Allah 103

The oneness of Allah 104

The power of Allah 104

The knowledge of Allah 104

The legislation of wudu’ and prayer 105

The kiblah 105

The Prophet’s miracles in Mecca 105

1. The Holy Qur'an 105

2. The miracle of the Tree 106

3. The split of the moon 107

The Meccan Suras 107

The Prophet’s emigration to Yathrib 108

Worry of Quraysh 108

The Prophet leaves Mecca 109

Imam Ali sleeps in the Prophet’s bed 109

The Prophet with Suraqah 110

Yathrib receives the Prophet 111

“The dawn has come to us 111

The population of Yathrib 112

Friday Prayer 112

The building of the mosque 113

The Prophet’s achievements in Medina 114

Brotherhood among Muslims 114

Building the Islamic civilization 114

Liberation of woman 114

Equality 115

1. Social equality 115

2. Equality before the law 116

3. equality in taxes 117

4. equality in employment 118

Individual responsibility 118

Annulling the racial segregation 118

The Islamic brotherhood 118

1. Mercifulness and sympathy 119

2. The spread of greeting 119

3. Mutual visiting 119

4. Satisfying the needs of people 119

5. Helping a Muslim 120

Factors of separation 120

1. Mocking and insulting each other 120

2. Backbiting 120

3. Talebearing 121

4. Irrelation 121

5. Non-cooperation 121

6. Harming and insulting 122

7. Frightening and terrorizing 122

8. Revilement 122

9. Watching of others’ slips and defects 122

10. Degrading a Muslim 123

11. Priding on lineages 123

Lights from the Islamic civilization 123

Freedom 123

1. The freedom of religion 123

2. The freedom of thought 124

3. Civil freedom 125

Governors and officials 125

The task of governors 125

The Prophet’s covenant to governors 126

The Prophet’s covenant to Mu’ath 126

Deposing of governors 127

The salaries of officials 128

The Prophet’s deputies 128

1. To Khosrau 129

2. To Caesar 129

3. To al-Muqawqas 131

Al-Muqawqas with a delegation from Thaqif 132

4. To Negus 133

5. To the King of Ghassan 134

6. To the king of Yamama 134

7. To the kings of Oman 135

8. To the people of Hajar 135

9. To al-Munthir bin al-Harith 135

His letters to the notables 136

Aktham bin Sayfi 136

Ziyad bin Jumhoor 136

The delegations to the Prophet 137

Education 138

Education of women 139

The house of hospitality 139

The Islamic economy 140

1. The encouraging of agriculture 140

2. The encouraging of labor 140

3. The forbidding of usury 140

4. The prohibition of cheating 141

5. The prohibition of monopoly 141

6. The watch of the market 141

7. Taxes 141

8. The zakat of monies 141

9. The Khums 141

10. The government’s responsibility 142

The change of the qibla to the Kaaba 142

The Prophet consults with his companions 142

The Prophet’s scribes 142

The Prophet’s seal 143

The political document 143

Examples from the Prophet’s supplications 147

The importance of Du’a (supplication) 147

The benefits of Du’a 147

Those whose du’a is responded to 147

1. The wronged 147

2. The father’s supplication for his children 148

3. One’s prayer for his brother 148

4. The prayer of one who is far away for another who is far away 148

5. The prayer of an afflicted believer 148

6. The supplication at affection 148

7. The supplication of one who is done good to 148

8. The Muslim’s prayer for his Muslim brother 148

9. Answered supplications 148

10. Supplications that are not rejected 149

Supplications that are not responded to 149

The best of du’as 149

1. Abundance of livelihood at old-age 149

2. The fear of Allah 149

3. Gratefulness and patience 149

4. Doing good 149

5. Bliss in this life 149

6. Good end 149

7. Protection 149

8. Resurrection with the poor 150

9. Reconciliation 150

10. Sound faith and life 150

11. Help at dying 150

12. Forgiveness 150

13. Best qualities 150

14. Fear of Allah 150

15. Seeking soundness 150

16. More knowledge 151

17. Good qualities 151

18. Faith 151

19. Blessing of morning 151

20. The fear of Allah 151

21. Good deeds 151

22. The increase in good 151

23. Self-control 151

24. Guardians of Muslims 151

25. Seeking goodness 151

26. Soundness against diseases 151

27. Safety from bad qualities 152

29. A cunning friend 152

30. Knowledge and labor 152

31. Debt 152

32. Enticement 152

33. Abomination 152

34. Bad day 152

35. At travel 152

Supplications the Prophet taught to Ali 152

Fourth supplication 155

Supplications the Prophet taught to Fatima 157

First supplication 157

Educational recommendations 160

The Prophet’s recommendations to Imam Ali 160

The Prophet’s recommendation to Fatima 162

The Prophet’s recommendation to Qays 163

The Prophet’s recommendation to Ibn Mas’ud 163

The Prophet’s recommendation to Abu Tharr 173

Another recommendation to Abu Tharr 183

The Prophet’s recommendation to Mu’ath bin Jabal 183

His recommendation to Salman al-Farisi 184

His recommendation to al-Fadhl bin al-Abbas 184

A recommendation to Khalid bin Zayd 184

His recommendation to Harmalah 184

His recommendation to Abu Umayyah 185

His recommendation to some man 185

His recommendation to another man 185

His recommendations to some other men 186

Preachments and advices 188

1. Warning against the love of this life 188

2. Good deed 188

3. Noble attributes 188

4. Fancy and wishes 189

5. The most afflicted people 189

6. The deeds that take to the Paradise and to the Fire 189

7. After this life is either the Paradise or the Fire 189

8. Devotedness to Allah 189

9. Remembering death 190

10. With death 190

11. Hastening to goodness 190

12. This life is of crookedness 190

13. The love of this life 191

14. Consolement and preachment 191

15. Desertion of the life 191

16. With the angel of death 192

From the Prophet’s sermons 193

1. His speech in Mecca 193

2. His speech in Medina 193

3. The Friday Sermon in Medina 193

4. His speech in al-Khayf 194

5. His speech on warning against this life 195

6. His speech in the Farwell Hajj 195

7. His speech in the Ghadeer of Khum 196

8. His speech on receiving the month of Ramadan 197

9. His speech in his last illness 199

Wonderful maxims and teachings 200

Good morals 200

Gaiety 200

Reason 200

Foolishness 201

Knowledge 201

The reward of scholars 202

The punishment of scholars who quit their knowledge 202

The nation’s rightness is by its scholars and leaders 202

Jurisprudents are trustees of the messengers 202

Learning knowledge 202

The death of a scholar 203

Knowledge is a treasure 203

The fatwa with no knowledge 203

Knowledge for pride 203

Teaching kindly 203

Dispraising of ignorance 203

Thinking deeply on affairs 204

Kinship and pardon 204

Praising of benevolence 204

Virtues 204

Generosity 205

Doing good 205

Charity 205

Bad and prohibited features 205

Hypocrisy 205

Treason 205

Betrayal of trust 205

False testimony 206

Oppression 206

Rejoicing at others’ distress 206

Haughtiness 206

Talebearing 206

Envy 206

Evil plotting 207

Lying 207

Stinginess 207

Pride 207

Injustice 207

Impudence 207

Double-faced 208

Uncertainty 208

Supporting of falsehood 208

Praising the disobedient 208

Terrifying a Muslim 208

Praiseworthy attributes 208

Five qualities 208

Four qualities 208

Satisfaction 208

Economics 209

Obedience of Allah 209

Seeking forgiveness 209

The inviolability of a believer 209

Pardoning 209

Hating the sinners 209

The most beloved people to the Prophet 209

Wisdom 210

Reciting the Qur'an 210

Leniency 210

The advantage of fasting 210

Prayer 210

Comfort in food 210

Economic in food 210

Honoring old people 210

Trust of meetings 211

Consultation 211

Unity 211

The jihad for the sake of Allah 211

Short maxims 212

The battle of Badr 233

The trade of Abu Sufyan 233

The march of Muslims 233

The battle 236

The results of battle 237

1. The prevalence of Islam 237

2. The fear of Quraysh 237

3. The sorrow of Quraysh 237

4. The delight of Muslims 238

The battle of Uhud 239

The leadership of Abu Sufyan 239

The Prophet consults with his companions 239

The war 240

The Prophet and his companions 241

The murder of Hamza 241

The Prophet’s sorrow 241

The martyrdom of Mus’ab 242

The rout of the polytheists 242

The defeat of Muslims 242

The struggle of Umm Imarah 243

Villains try to kill the Prophet 244

Danger surrounds the Prophet 244

1. Anas bin an-Nadhr 245

2. Thabit bin ad-Dahdaha 245

3. Abu Dujanah 245

4. Ziyad bin Imarah 246

5. Abu Talha 246

6. Amr bin al-Jamuh 246

8. Aasim bin Umar bin Qatadah 246

9. Al-Usayrim 247

10. Mukhayreeq 247

The end of the war 247

The Prophet marches with his army to fight Abu Sufyan 248

The results of the battle of Uhud 248

1. The joy of Quraysh 248

2. The delight of the polytheists and the Jews 249

3. Deeming Muslims weak 249

The event of al-Khandaq (trench) 250

The role of the Jews 250

Digging the trench 250

The Prophet with Nu’aym 251

The crossing of the trench 252

Bani Quraydhah and the conquest of Khaybar 254

The march of the Muslim army 254

The delegation of Abu Lubabah 255

The arbitration of Sa’d 255

The conquest of Khaybar 255

A poisoned ewe 257

The faith of al-Hajjaj bin Ilat 257

Expeditions 259

The expeditions 259

1. The expedition against the Banu Sulaym 259

2. The expedition of as-Suwayq 259

4. The expedition of Buwat 259

5. The expedition of al-Asheera (the tribe) 260

6. The expedition of the Bani Qaynuqa’ 260

7. The expedition of Qarqarat al-Kudr 261

8. The expedition of Thee Amarr 261

10. The expedition of Dawmat al-Jandal 262

11. The expedition of the Bani al-Mustaliq 262

12. The expedition of Mu’tah 263

13. The expedition of Wadi al-Qura (the valley of villages) 264

14. The conquest of Mecca 264

The truce of al-Hudaybiyyah 264

The Prophet determines to conquer Mecca 265

The Prophet’s favor to Abu Sufyan 267

The Prophet enters Mecca 268

The Prophet’s sermon 269

Men and women’s homage to the Prophet 270

15. The expedition of Hunayn 271

The defeat of the polytheists 271

16. The expedition of at-Ta’if 273

17. The expedition of Tabuk 273

Imam Ali and the Sura of Bara’ah 275

Imam Ali and the conquest of Yemen 276

The battles and the expeditions of the Prophet 276

The battalions 277

1. The battalion of Zayd bin Haritha 277

2. The battalion of Khalid 277

3. The battalion of Abdullah bin Rawaha 278

4. The battalion of Basheer bin Sa’d 278

5. The battalion of Abu Hadrad 278

6. The battalion of Amr bin al-Aas 278

7. The battalion of Zayd bin Harithah 279

The signs of the departure 280

The farewell Hajj 281

The conference of Ghadeer Khum 282

The homage to Imam Ali 283

The Prophet and the caliphate 284

The Prophet chooses Ali for the caliphate 284

The immortal disaster 288

The army of Usamah 288

The calamity of Thursday 289

Fatima’s distress 291

The Prophet recommends of his family 292

The Prophet’s recommendation about his two grandsons 292

To the High Paradise 292

Preparing the holy corpse for burial 293

The prayer over the holy corpse 294

The burial 294

Endnotes 296

Introduction 296

Mecca the honored town 296

Great personalities and glories 296

Fatherhood, motherhood, and a shine 297

His characteristics 298

In the cave of Hara’ 300

Publicity of the mission 300

The Prophet’s emigration to Yathrib 303

Examples from the Prophet’s supplications 306

Educational recommendations 308

Preachments and advices 310

From the Prophet’s sermons 310

Wonderful maxims and teachings 311

Short maxims 313

The battle of Badr 313

The battle of Uhud 313

The event of al-Khandaq (trench) 314

Bani Quraydhah and the conquest of Khaybar 314

Expeditions 315

The battalions 316

The signs of the departure 316

The immortal disaster 316