Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Lying

The Position of Manners in Society

Manners are an essential factor in societies and in the perfection of nations. Manners were born as a part of humanity. No one denies the vital role that manners play in bringing peace, happiness, and felicity, to man’s spirit; nor does anyone doubt their useful and decisive influence in strengthening the fundamentals of the integrity of conduct and thinking on both the social and public levels. Can you find anyone who suffers from honesty and truthfulness and searches for happiness in the shadow of treachery and lying?

Manners are so important that even the nations that do not believe in religion respect them and feel that it is essential for them to abide by some set of ethics to be able to advance on the winding path of life. Everywhere societies are found and under allconditions manners share some similarities.

The famous British scholar Samuel Smiles says:

“Manners are one of the powers that move this world. In their bestsenses manners are a manifestation of human nature at its highest peak, for manners are a presentation of human nature at humanity. Individuals who excel in any field of life endeavor to attract the people’s attention to them with every means of honor and respect. People trust these individuals and imitate their perfection, because people believe that they possess all the gifts of this life, and that if it had not been for the existence of such individuals, life would not be worth living.

If inherited genetic features attract the attention and appreciation of people, then manners necessitate gratification and respect of all well-behaved people. This is so because the first set of characteristics is the work of genes and the second set, the fruit of pragmatism and the power of thought’s and it is the mind that rules us and manages our affairs throughout our lives.

“Those who have reached the peaks of excellence and greatness are like bright lights clearing the way for humanity and guiding people toward the paths of morality and piety. If the members of a society anywhere lack good behavior, they will be unable to reach excellence regardless of how much freedom and political rights they enjoy. It is not essential for nations to possess vast areas of land to live honorably; for there are many nations with large populations who own vast areas of land yet lack all the necessities of perfection and greatness. Thus, if the morality of a nation becomes corrupt, that nation will eventually vanish.”

All agree with what this scholar has said; yet.there is a great difference between knowing the facts and acting on them that matters here.There are many people who substitute their animalistic inclinations in the place of good conduct. They substitute excellent morals forlusts which appear in life like bubbles appear sparkling on the water’s surface.

Man has undoubtedly come out of the factory of life bringing with him completely contradicting instincts. Now man is constantly the subject of a fierce struggle between the traits of evil and goodness: the first step to eradicate man’s evil traits is to capture his lusts and anger in this battlefield for they are the cause of his animalistic power, envy.

It is incumbent on anyone who wishes to achieve perfection to avoid extravagance on either side and to rid himself of his harmful inclinations that stem from such traits and change them into useful and beautiful feelings. The reason for this is that man benefits greatly from his feelings, but such feelings can only appear good if they are obedient to the commands of reason.

According to one psychologist:“Human feelings are like a container that is divided into two sections. The first section being offensive and the otherdefensive., If man can direct his defensive feelings to become victorious over the offensive ones, then he will gain control of his existence and lead it as he desires not as they desire.”

Those who have balanced their internal powers with their lusts and that which their dreams prefer, and have created a sense of peace between their minds and hearts, have undoubtedly followed the path of happiness between the problems of life with a will free of weakness, failure or defeat. It is true that man’s abilities have reached a very advanced level of practicality,movement and speed, which give mankind the chance to reach deep into the depths of seas and oceans using his thinking powers.

Yet, what we observe today of the continuous misery and fluctuation in the heart of civilization has reached the point that it has become like a toy in the hands of problems and inflictions. Thiscan only be blamed on the diversion from the path of noble traits and spiritual values.

Dr. C. Roman writes:

“Science has advanced in this era but manners and feelings are still in their primitive stages. If manners and feelings had advanced along with reason and mind, then we could possibly state that mankind advanced in their humanity too.”

According to the laws of balance and equality, the fate of a civilization that lacks noble traits faces destruction and extinction. The reason for the persisting miseries and imperfections in various societies is a phenomenon of people’s needs for moral values. Values that would spread the spirit of life in the flesh of the dying civilization and grant it the powers it righteously deserves.

The Disadvantages of Lying

There are as many advantages for truthfulness as there are disadvantages for lying. Truthfulness is one of the most beautiful traits and lying one of the ugliest. The tongue translates man’s internal feelings to the outside, therefore if lying stems from envy and or enmity it is one of the dangerous signs of anger; and if it stems from stinginess or habit, it is from the effects of the burning lusts of man.

If man’s tonguebecomes poisoned with lying and its filth appears on him, its effects are like the effects of the autumn wind on the leaves of trees. Lying extinguishes the light of man’s existence and lights the fire of treachery in him. It also has an amazing effect in terminating the ties of unity and harmony between men and spreads hypocrisy.As a matter of fact , a great deal of misguidance springs from false claims and empty words. For men with evil intentions, lying is an open door to help them reach their selfish goals by concealing the facts behind their magical words and capturing innocent people with their poisonous lies.

Liars leave no time for themselves to think or reflect. They rarely think about the possible conclusions,claiming that “no one will ever discover their secrets.” In their words we find many mistakes and contradictions, liars will eternally become covered with shame, failure and disgrace. It is true, therefore, tosay that “liars have bad memories” .

One of the factors which spread this resentfultrait which poisons social manners is the saying:

“Constructive lying is better than the painful truth.”

This saying has become a veil to cover this lonely trait, and many people resort to it in order to justify their resentful lies. These people ignore what reason and jurisprudence say about this issue. Islam and reason command that if a Muslim’s soul, honor or essential belongings are endangered it is his obligation to defend them by any means possible, including lying. It is a valid maxim that say,“Necessities legalize the prohibited”.

Necessary lying has itslimitations, it must stop on the border of necessity. If men widen the circle of“constructiveness” to include their personal wishes and lusts, there would not be a lie without a so-called need behind it. One of the great scholars says in this regard:

“There is a reason for everything. It is possible for us to invent factors and reasons for all actions. Even the professional criminals have excuses for their crimes. Therefore, there are advantages and needs for every lie ever uttered. In other words, every lie that is told serves a purpose and the liar is good: if a liar gained nothing from lying there would beno reason to hide the facts. This stems from the fact that it is man’s nature to consider everything that may be advantageous to him to be good. If man suspects that his personal benefits may be endangered by the truth, orimagines there is goodness in lying, then he lies without any hesitation for he sees evil in the truth and goodness in lying.”

We should not ignore the fact that lying is a great evil, and that if some harmis removed by lying (when permitted), it is with the view of countering the greater evil with a lesser one.

The freedom of speech is more important than the freedom of thinking because if someone makes a mistake when exercising his freedom to think, only that individualis harmed . One the other hand, when exercising the freedom of speech, the welfare of the society is at stake. The advantages and disadvantages of freedom of speech affect the whole society.

Ghazali has said:

“The tongue is a beneficial gift. It is a delicate creature, which regardless of its small size performs an extremely important job when it comes to obedience and disobedience. Both disbelief and faith are manifested with the tongue, and they are the ultimate worship or disobedience.”

He then added:

“Only those who can confine their tongues to religion are able to avoid evil. These people never set their tongues free unless it is beneficial to their lives, faith, and eternal place of rest.”

AbuHamid al-Ghazali . Kimiyaye Sa’adat

It is important to avoid lying and contradicting the truth in front of children so that this evil trait does not enter their hearts. Children learn how to act and speak from their families and those around them. Therefore, if lying and/or contradicting the truthpenetrates the family atmosphere, children will be affected and in turn be inflicted with the same illnesses.

Morris T.Yash said:

“The habit of thinking, speaking, and endeavoring to find the facts is only practiced by those who were brought up surrounded by it as children.”

Lying is Prohibited by Religion

The Holy Qur’an explicitly categorizes liars as disbelievers:

“Only they forge thelie who do not believe in Allah’s communications, and these are the liars.”

Itis understood from this verse that believers do not subject themselves to the filth of fabrication.

The Messenger of Allah (S) stated:

“Adhere to truthfulness; for truthfulness guides to Paradise.Surely a man continues to tell the truth and searches for it until he is written as truthful near Allah.And avoid falsehood; for it leads to the Fire. Man continues to lie until he is written as a liar near Allah.” 1

Among the characteristics of liars is that they only believe after annoying insistence. The Messenger (S) said:

“Surely those who are most frequent in believing people are most frequent in telling the truth; and those who mostly doubt people are the most frequent liars.”

Dr. Samuel Smiles writes:

“Some people assume that their own lowly characteristics are normal to other’s natures while, in fact, we know that people are mirrors of their own manners. Hence, the good and bad that we see in othersis not but a reflection of that which is in our consciences.”

Courageous people with good manners and conduct cannot bear falsehood nor can they accept tobe polluted by such filth. Liars suffer from a mentaldisorder which keeps them from speaking the truth. Those who resort to lying subconsciously feel weak and humiliated, for lying is the front of the weak and the cowards.

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) is quoted as saying;

“If entities were materialized, surely truthfulness would stand with courage and cowardice would stand with lying.” 2

Dr. Raymond Peach said:

“Lying is the best defensive weapon of the weak and the quickest way to avoid danger. Lying in most cases is a reaction to weakness and failure. If you were to ask a child, ‘Did you touch this candy?’ or ‘Did you break this vase?’ If the child realizes that admitting the mistake will result in punishment, his instinct tells him to deny it.” 3

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) stated the clear benefits of truthfulness in a clear narration:

“The truth teller achieves three things: (other’s) trust, love, and respect.”

“Be notmislead by their prayers and fasting, for a man can become fervently used to prayers and fasting so that if he would abandon them he would feel lonely. Rather, try them when it comes to telling the truth and fulfilling trusts.” 4

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) has said on this subject:“Lying is the most abominable trait.” 5

And Dr. Samuel Smiles writes:

“Lying is the ugliest and the most disgusting trait among all lowly characteristics. It is important that man makes his only goal throughout the various stages of life to be truthfulness and honesty, and not to give them up in any case for any other cause or goal.” 6

Islam based all.Its behavioral and correction processes on faith, and made faith the basis for man’s happiness.“Manners without faith are like a palace built on mud ice.”

Or , as another scholar explains:

“Manners without faith are like seeds planted on rock or between thorns; they eventually wither away and die. If themost noble traits are not motivated by faith, they are like dead crops near a living person.”

Religion rules the heart and mindtogether, it is the arena for bringing harmony to them. Religious feelings reduce material wants, and create an impenetrable barrier between the believer and lowliness. Those who are comfortable by belief always have assigned goals and feel at ease.

“Surely with the remembrance of Allah the hearts feel at ease.” (The Holy Qur’an, 13:28)

Islam judges man’s character by the degree of his belief and his favorable traits, and fervently struggles to strengthen these two factors. For instance, Islam has made man’s faith a guarantee for the credibility of his statements when he executes an oath. According to the Islamic penal code, a Muslim’s oath can replace evidence, under certain circumstances.and is therefore decisive in settling disputes. Islam has also made man’s testimony a method for proving rights.

Thus, if lying appears in its red fearful shape-in any of theabove mentioned cases, than it is clear how great damage can resultform such behavior.

In the HolyQur’an lying is considered to be an unforgivable sin.

“And never accept a testimony from them.” (The Holy Qur’an, 24:4)

The basis of the intensity of the sin of lyingis distinctly related to how much damage is done by such a sin. Hence, because lying under oaths and in testimonies is more damaging, the punishment for such a sin is more severe.

Lying is a technique leading to all other evil traits.

ImamHasan al-Askari (a.s .) said:

“All spiteful traits are placed in a house and the key to this house is lying”. 7

In order to further clarify what Imam al-Askari (a.s .) said, we bring your attention to the following prophetic narration.

A man came to the Messenger of Allah (S) and asked him for some advice. The Prophet (S) replied:

“Abandon lying and equip yourself with truthfulness.”

The man, who was an invariable sinner departed promisingto never again commit another transgression.

Indeed, those who keep company with the honest and are habitually truthful, both verbally and practically will surely live a life free of sorrow and deprivation; their minds and spirits will shine with belief far from instability and fear, and far from vague thinking.

The slightest reflection on the result of lying whether related to religion or material gains will teach a most valuable lesson to anyone who craves to lead a life of honor and dignity. The after effects of lying are but lashes of warning.

Truthfulnesscan only be achieved under the shadow of manners and belief. Whenever these conditions are weak, human happiness does not have a chance of surviving.

Hypocrisy

Endeavor to Cherish Your Personality

The most important element in happiness and the most exalted characteristic that man can enjoy is perfection. This valuable spiritual jewel grants life greatness and authenticity, and guides man to the peak of honor and dignity. All men are humanly equal. Yet, they vary and differ just as their ability to reason and think do. Man’s spiritual habits and behavioral characteristics also differ. The characteristics of a person are all that which distinguishes individuals from each other and define everyone’s abilities and social positions. Moreover, the human character directly influences us more than any other factor.

Man was placed in this universe to endeavor to develop his capabilities and widen the horizons of his thinking and real realization; thus, improving his knowledge and strengthening his spirit in order to achieve perfection. In other words, man is in this world to qualify himself for the fulfillment of his specific duties. With this in mind, it is the responsibility of every individual to establish a healthy and honest personality, and to work in the path of happiness. The harder man works in this path the more he realizes the true meaning of success. There is nothing more capable of giving him the strength to venture into the rough sea of like than healthy personality.

According to Schopenhauer:

“The variations between personalities are natural and their role in bringing sorrow and happiness into man’s life is more than that which is brought by the difference between various human differences. This is because the characteristics of a personality (such as productive reasoning and pure affections)can never be compared to what man can gain from material belongings.

For a reasonable individual is able to create an enjoyable living for himself even if he is secluded. On the otherhand an ignorant person cannot rid himself of laziness although he could have all the luxuries of life, even if he were to spend large sums of money to do so. Reason, management, and the ability to be affectionate, are among the vitalfactors which bring man closer to reaching the goal of his life and open the gates of happiness towards him.

Therefore,it’s our duty to give special importance to the development of these factors more than the development of material gains.

All characteristics and habits share a position in deciding man’s future, and every thought and feeling greatlyaffect these characteristics and habits. It is notable to mention that the manners and conduct of every person are constantly changing towards perfection or otherwise.

The first steps towards developing and perfecting the personality is to learn the methods of exploiting the hidden powers and capabilities of one’s self, and prepare the self to eradicate all thefactors which may pose problems in the path of perfection. Man can then purify himself from all lowliness. If a person does not know his own value, he or she will never be able to bring life to it, nor will he be able to create any fruitful changes therein.

Words and actions hold no real value unless they stem from the depth of one’s own existence. Words manifest the holdings of the mind, it is as if they were translations of the otherwise hidden secrets therein. When Words contradict one’s actions this speaks of an unstable Personality and consequently has devastating effects on the individual’s life.

Hypocrisy: The Ugliest Trait

Hypocrisy isUndoubtedly one of the most detestable qualities. It is in man’s nature to accept happiness and freedom; and to upgrade itself to the highest degree of dignity. Yet when manbecomes polluted with lying, violation of promises and breaching of agreements, hypocrisy finds itself a wide arena and is ready to penetrate such polluted natures.

Hypocrisy advances in these circumstances until it eventually becomes an acute disease. Hypocrisy not only prevents individuals from reaching the truth or even attempting to discover it, but it also becomes an indestructible dam placed on the path of acquiring noble characteristics. Of course, all that stands in the path of sensible conduct and psychological integrity; and contradicts the life ofhappiness which relies on spiritual perfection.

Hypocrisy is a dangerousepidemic which threatens man’s honor and dignity, leads to irresponsibility and lowly traits, and replaces his self-confidence with Suspicion, pessimism and anxiety.

Those who reach the dangerous point in their behavioral misconduct convince themselves that they want the best for all people. When this troubled person (hypocrite) deals with an unharmonious couple he presents himself as a dear friend and faithful advisor and then turns around and puts the other down, greatly criticizing him, while in fact he feels no spiritual or moral relations to either of them.

False compliments, unconditional acceptance of other ideologies, and refraining from the defending righteousness when it is essential, are all characteristics of hypocrites.

According to a great scholar, hypocrites are more dangerous than archenemies:

“Enemies have the characteristics of being both covert and overt enemies; for animosity have just one color.I wish that friends were like enemies as far as pretence is concerned. Undoubtedly friends that are hypocrites are worse than the common hypocrite.”

Because the hypocrite is unable to win the hearts of those he deals with or gain love and respect, his life is full of humiliation and disgust. His attempts to conceal the facts prevent him from living a secure, stable, and anxiety free life; for he is in constant fear of the inevitable discovery of what he really is.

One of the elements of social sorrow is the way hypocrisy is spreading and the lack of honesty and sincerity among various classes of society. If hypocrisy penetrates the structure of a community and overwhelms the hearts of its members, then in addition to the deceit andlowliness which become apparent among them; such a community will face an inevitable downfall.

The British scholar S. Smiles said:

“The conduct of contemporary politicians is on the path of corruption and disorder. Theopinions which they give in their reception rooms varies from those they give in public speeches. For instance, these politicians praise the people for their patrioticfeelings and then turn around and laugh at the same in their private meetings.

“Fluctuations of thought exist in our era more than at any time in the past, and principles change and vary as interests do. I believe that hypocrisy will gradually crawl out of its lowly shell and eventually become a praiseworthy quality; for if the upper class of a society becomes used to hypocrisy, all other class will follow adopting the same views, for they derive their habits and conduct from the higher classes.

“The fame which is gained today is earned when the evil traits of the people are exposed, ignoring the noble qualities of ally

There is a Russian proverb that says:

“He who has a strong spinecan not be promoted to higher position.”

The spines of men who adore fame eventually become weak and flexibleso as to follow the tides of reputation by deceiving people, concealing the facts from the public and speaking exactly as the lower classes long to hear. Worse yet is to exploit the dissention and hypocrisy which might exist between the different classes of society. Such famecannot be viewed by righteous save with disgust and resentment, and its advocates have no respect or honor.

Sincerity and honesty are manifestations of a pure conscience and are themost honorable traits of life. These traits, which are found in those with truly pure souls, harmonize personalities and bring peace,unity and strength into the community. It is natural for man to love his faithful friends more than those he doubts, and as the love of the faithful increases, the hatred for the hypocrites also increases.

Burn Down the Dwellings of Hypocrisy

When Islam started advancing rapidly, the party of hypocrites who felt that theywere threatened more than all other opposition parties attempted to destroy the pillars of the Islamic government. They made oaths to the Prophet (S),then declined to fulfill their duties when the time came for them to execute them. They also criticized the believers.

This destructive and corruptive minority was not able to tolerate the people’s faith and devotion to the Messenger of Allah (S). The leader of these hypocrites was Abu Amir (the priest), who was the chief of the People of the Book in Medina, where he gained a reputation among the people for being a religious man. He prophesied the advent of the Prophet (S) prior to his Message and during the first stages of his Prophethood . Later he was unable to tolerate the loss of his reputation because of the spread of Islam, so he migrated to Mecca and joined thepolytheists war against the Prophet (S) atBadr andUhud .

Abu Amir then fled to the Romans where he began plotting to eradicate the tree of Islam. It was with his instigation that his companions built the “Mosque of Dissension in Medina. At the time this Mosque was constructed no onewas allowed to build a mosque without the consent of the Holy Messenger (S). The Prophet (S) granted them permission to build the mosque and when he returned from the battle ofTabuk , the people of the mosque called the Prophet to honor the opening.

Beforehand, Allah, the Almighty, had revealed to His Messenger the men’s evil intentions and the Prophet refused to go and commanded the army to destroy the mosque.

“Only he shall visit the mosques of Allah who believes in Allah and the latter day, and keeps up prayer and pays the poor rate and fears none but Allah; so (as for) these, it may be that they are of the followers of the right course.” (The Holy Qur’an 9:18)

In thismanner their treacherous plotting was foiled, and the first place of hypocrisy was burnt.

The Holy Qur’an greatly criticizes this group and condemns them in many verses:

“And there are some people who say: ‘We believe in Allah and the Last Day’; and they are not at all believers.

“They desire to deceive Allah and those who believe, and they do not perceive.

“There is disease in their hearts, so Allah added to their disease and they shall have a painful chastisement because they lied.

“And when it is said to them.‘ Do not make mischief in the land’, theysay: ‘We are but peace-makers’.

“Now surely they themselves are the mischief-makers, but they do not perceive.”

(The Holy Qur’an 2:8-12)

Hypocrisy is a spiritual disease; this might have been what Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) was pointing out when he said:

“Be aware of the people of hypocrisy for they are the misled, the misleading, and the leaders to wrong paths. Their hearts are ill; and their appearances pure.” 8

Dr. H.Shakhter said:

“There are some people who argue for no other reason except to become famous. These people are not sure about their beliefs nor do they really believe in what they argue about, yet they would rather criticize others instead of remaining silent as it is difficult for them to tolerate others indifference to them. Another type of people are those that when they notice people’s indifference to them, follow the path of hypocrisy to create dissension and hence prove their existence.”

Rushd Shakhsiyyat

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) said:

“A hypocrite: His words are beautiful, and his inner (conscience) is ill.” 9

A hypocritical person does not have a group he can relyon, therefore, he constantly lives in confusion. The Messenger (S) described hypocrisy by saying:“A hypocrite is like a sheep confused between two herds.” 10

The Prophet (S) revealed to us three signs of a hypocrite when he said:

“And there are three signs of hypocrites: When they speak they lie. When they makepromises they do not keep them. And when they are trusted they cheat.” 11

Imam al-Baqir (a.s .) said:

“It is evil for a worshipper to have two faces and two tongues, praise his brother in hispresence and slander him in his absence. If he gives to his brother he envies him, and if his brother is tested he fails (to help him).” 12

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) pointed out another characteristic of hypocrites when he stated that they are always defensive but critical of others:“The hypocrite is a flatterer of himself, and a defamer of other people.” 13

Dr. S. Smiles said:

“Flatterers and hypocrites always think about themselves and are never concerned with others. They concentrate on their own actions and affairs until their minor and lowly existence becomes their universe and great idol.” 14

Imam as-Sadiq (S) explainsLuqman’s following admonition to his son:

“A hypocrite has three signs: his tongue contradicts his heart, his heart contradicts his conduct,an his appearance contradicts his inner (beliefs).” 15

Man’s thoughts reveal his real self. People who attempt to conceal what is in their hearts beneath hypocrisy and flattery will never be successful, for their reality and the truthwill eventually be revealed .

A man said to Imam as-Sadiq (a.s .):

“When a person says to me: ‘I like (or love) you.’ How do I know that he is telling the truth?”

The Imam (a.s .) answered the man:

“Examine your heart, if you like him then he likes you. Look in your heart, if it refuses your companion then one of you has done something.” 16

Dr.Mardin said:

“If you really think that you can introduce yourself with words then you have deceived yourselves. Because others will not judge you by thenorms you wish to assign. Rather they will know you by your actions, words, conditions, conscience, and your inner self. The people who you talk to will notice the strengths and weaknesses of your ideas, yourhypocrisy and reality from your speech and even your silence. The people around you will discover your hopes and intentions, and then form their opinions about you; even if you object to some of their views about you, they will be unwilling to change them.

“Sometimes we hear people say: ‘I can’t even stand to look at a specific person.’ These individuals cannot tolerate the hated ones, even though they may have some praiseworthy traits or a pleasant appearance. People who feel this way do so because they have read the thoughts and feelings of others. We also feel that Way about some people. This is the effect of thoughts. All our thoughts and feelings spread around us and others sense them with the rays of their thought” 17

Imam (a.s .) said:

“Healthy consciences have more truthful testimonies than eloquent tongues.” 18

When we say hypocrisy, we mean it in a broader sense than just ideological, behavioral, moral, or verbal hypocrisy, for Islam has called all its adherents to a total and comprehensive unity,so as to lead them to a sincere life free of hypocrisy, dissension and treachery.

Notes

1.Nahj al-Fasahah , p. 418

2.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 605

3. MaWa Farzandane Ma

4.Usul al-Kafi v.1 p. 460

5.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 175

6.Akhlaq

7.Jami’Sa’adat v.2 p. 318

8.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 146

9.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 60

10.Nahj al-Fasahah p. 562

11. Bihar al-Anwar v.15, p. 30

12. Bihar al-Anwar v. 15, p 172

13.Ghurar al-Hikam p.88

14.Akhlaq .

15. Bihar al-Anwar v.15, p. 30

16. Al-Wafi v.3, p. 106

17.Pirozi Fikr

18.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 105

Ill-Nature

The Value of Friendship

Love is a natural human feeling. It is for this reason we see every man is attracted by an internal power to other members of his kind. Thus, this instinctive need must be fulfilled and every one must establish brotherly relations with certain individuals or groupsso as to benefit socially from such relations.

Love is the foundation of security and comfort. It is the most enjoyable spiritualneed which develops with time. There isnot amore valuable thing in this world than love.

The pain and suffering which result from losing a beloved one are most disastrous to man; spirits need other spirits for refuge or we would become torn in the hands of insecurity and anxiety, thus, becoming the victims of our own world’s oppression.

A certain scholarwas quoted as saying in this regard,“The secret to happiness is to maintain brotherly relations with our world, instead of creating chaos. Those who cannot love their ownkind, cannot live an anxiety-free and secure life.”

Theties which best bring the various elements of a society to each other are those which are built on true feelings and real love.Harmony which exists between two souls is what makes them unit in the worlds of love and unity. It is from here that the basis of eternal happiness stems. Yet, in order for such happiness to survive, one must set differences aside and compromise with others on some of theissues which they rightly reject.

The most valuable friendships arethose which are not built on personal interests but are twin with the feeling of brotherhood and are able to satisfy the human soul which needs love and comfort. A person who presents himself as a faithful friend should not allow any factor to shake his feelings towards that friend; infact he should endeavor to remove the calamities and pains which befall his friend’s heart, and demonstrate to him the gardens of hopes and comfort.

Those who ask for the love of others should have the ability to give them the same prior to living in the shadow of their emotions. According to one scholar,“Our lives are like a mountainous area, whenever one makes a sound he hears the echo coming back at him; those whose hearts are full of love for others will experience the same from them.

It is true that it is our material life thatis built on exchange. We do not wish to say the spiritual lifeis built on the same basis, but how is it possible to expect faithfulness from others without being faithful to them? And how can one ask for love from others without loving them first?”

Interacting with others can be very harmful if itis not built on love and honesty from both sides.

If the nightmare of hypocrisy overtakes the hearts and lives of men; if flattery replaces honesty and friendship, harmony and sympathy will be weakened and the spirit of cooperation will be stolen from the society.

Undoubtedly, many of us have met others in society in whose hearts lay no real love or emotions; they conceal their real selves behind the cover of love.But frequently we are able to reach beyond that cover to their realities and actual feelings, and as a result, our relationship with them results in the destruction of their masks.

Indeed one of the prerequisites of happiness and an effective method of spiritual development is real friendship with righteous people. This is because personal thoughts develop under the shadow of such relationships, wherein the spirit rises to levels of piety and excellent traits.

Therefore, it is essentialto carefully examine individuals to be taken as friends. It is an unforgivable error to establish friendships with any one whose honesty and purityare not verified - because man was created susceptible to the characteristics of others through his interactions with them. Negative relationships are a threat to the happiness of humanity.

Ill-Natured Individuals are Resentful

Certain characteristics and unwanted habits weaken the ties of love and sometimes result in breaking up excellent relationships. Hot-tempered individuals, who are unable to keep the love of others, erect an indestructible wall between them and society, which prevents them from realizing the light of love.

Ill nature, therefore, destroys the basis of happiness and devalues man’s character. It is indisputable that bad manners keep people away from each other, for man suffers from the treatment of those whom he resents or cannot relateto . Thus, bad manners force people to give up many abilities, which could be very useful in the path of their advancement in life had they beenwell-mannered .

It is necessary for one who wishes to interact in his societyto first realize the art of interaction, and after becoming familiar with it, put it to use according to the acceptable social rules. Without this process, a person cannot live in harmony with his society, nor can interpersonal conduct move towards perfection in such a society.

Good conduct, therefore, is the main basis of happiness between people. It is also an important factor in bettering individual personalities. In fact, good conduct allows man to make use of his abilities and become effective on the general level of managing society. There is not another characteristic equal to good conduct in attracting the love and affection of others and reducing thepains which maybe faced in life.

Those who enjoy such good traits do not manifest their sad sides to others, hence preventing them from reaching beyond their privacy. Such individuals struggle to create a rainbow of happiness and affection around themselves to make those who interact with them, forget their own miseries by giving them a sense of security. They also present their own security despite any troubles they may have, thus, increasing the chances of their success and victory.

Good manners are a strong element in securing success for many individuals.Needless to say, the success of commercial establishments is directly related to the good conduct of its employees.

A manager of a company who enjoys good manners is usually active and attracts many vital connections tohimself . In conclusion, good manners are the secret behindbeing accepted by others. People cannot bear with ill-natured people regardless of their positions. A personal survey would reveal the reasons behind the inclinations towards certain individuals over others.

A western scholar recorded the following regarding his experience in this field:

“One day I decided to conduct an experiment on how my attentiveness and cheerful face affected my life. Prior to that dayI was sad and depressed; on that morning I left the house with the intention of being cheerful.I thought to myself.I have noticed many times that other’s attentiveness and cheerful faces give me strength.

I wanted to discover if I, myself, could be influential to others in the same way.I repeated to myself while on my way to work, my resolution to be attentive and have a cheerful face; I even convinced myself that I was a very lucky man. As aresult I felt a sense of comfort overtake my body.I felt as if I was flying.I looked at my surroundings with a wide smile on my face; yet I still saw many faces around me on which the features of sadness were apparent.

My heart burnt for these people and I wished I could grant them some of the light from my heart.

“That morning I entered my office and greeted the accountant in a manner that hewas not used to. Prior tothis I rarely smiled and never greeted him like this even if my life was on the line. The accountant could not help but greetme with warmth and great affection. At thatmoment I felt that my happiness had truly affected him.

“The president of the company where I work is the kind of man who never lifts his head to talk to others, he is very unpleasant. On thatday he harshly reprehended me, more that day than on any other day. I would not have put up with it; yet, because of my decision not to let any incident bother me, I answered him in such a manner that made some of the wrinkles on his face disappear.

This was the second incident that day. Later on thatday Iendeavoured to keep my attentiveness and cheerfulness and pass them on to my co-workers.

“As such, I was able to practice this method with my family which resulted in positive consequences. As a result,I discovered that I could be active, happy and make others around me feel the same way.

This is possible for you too. Meet people with this attitude, have a cheerful face and the flowers of happiness will bloom in your life, as roses bloom in the spring-time, and you will gain many friends who will bring peace and tranquility to you eternally.”

No one denies the great effect of this characteristic on softening the hearts of the enemies. Respect and good manners also play an important role in convincing one’s opponents of the adherence to ideologies.

Another western writer said in this regard,“All gates are opened towards him whose face is cheerful and who enjoys good manners; while the ill-natured individuals have to knock down doors to open them just like gangsters. The best of matters are those related to kindness,good-manners and cheerfulness.”

Moreover, I would like to add that good manners necessitate happiness and lead good-natured individuals to perfection, but only if such manners and traits stem deep from one’s heart far from hypocrisy and pretense.

In other words, the feeling of love must be a manifestation of what is in the heart. The outside appearance is not necessarily a reflection of whatis hidden in the hearts of men. It is possible that some of the good traits of an individual contradict his disturbed and misguided heart. Many are the devils that dress themselves in the garments of angels, hence concealing their fearful faces under a curtain of beauty.

The Prophet of Islam, the Perfect Exemplar

We all know that one of the most important factors of Islam’s advancement was the perfect conduct of tile Prophet (S). This factis stated in the Holy Qur’an where Allah, the Almighty, says:

“And had you been rough, hard hearted they would certainly have dispersed from around you.” (Qur’an 3:158).

The Prophet of Allah (S) treated all people equally. His deep and indescribable love for humanitywas perfectly manifested in his angelic being. He attended to all Muslims’ needs equally.

“And the Messenger of Allah (S) divided his moments between his companions: he would attend to this and attend to that equally.” 1

He (S) also condemned ill nature; he (S) repeatedly said:“Ill nature is evil and the worst of you are those who are ill-natured.” 2

And he (S) also said:“O sons of AbdulMuttalib , surely you will not (he able to) satisfy people with your money, therefore meet them with cheerful faces and joyful conduct.” 3

Anas ibn Malik , the Prophet’s servant, used to say when he remembered his (the Prophets) excellent traits:“I have served the Prophet (S) for ten years; during this time he has never said ‘woe’ (as if complaining) to me, regardless of what I did or did not do.” 4

Furthermore, good conduct and cheerfulness arefactors which prolong life. Imam as-Sadiq (a.s .) said in this regard:“Kindness and good manners make land flourish and prolong lives.” 5

Dr. Sanderson has written this on the subject:

“Kindness is an important factor in treating and preventing Illnesses. Most medications result in unwanted side - effects along with a temporary cure, while kindness causes everlasting cures to all parts of the body (...) kindness moves all powers of the body. Blood circulation in those who enjoy good manners is excellent, and their breathing is better...” 6

There is a beautiful point in Imam as-Sadiq’s (a.s .) statement. He (a.s .) says there is a direct relationship between kindness and good manners and stated that they are among the factors which prolong life. The reason behind this is that kind people enjoy a sense of happiness and satisfaction, thus, both kindness and good manners have the same desired effects.

Imam as-Sadiq (a.s .) also considered these traits elements for achieving happiness when he said:

“Part of man’s happiness is his good manners”. 7

Samuel Smiles added on the same topic:

“Good manners and emotional balance have their effects on man’s development and happiness just like other powers and Instincts do. As a matter of fact, individual’s happiness is greatly related to their affections and good manners.” 8

In addition, good manners make life easier and increase subsistence and harmony, Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) said:“Good manners bestow subsistence lavishly and make friends (more) intimate.” 9

S.Marden wrote the following in his book:

“I know a restaurant manager who became very wealthy and popular because of his good conduct.I learned that travelers and tourists traveled long distances to reach his restaurant; they did so because in this restaurant they liked the privacy and the pleasant atmosphere. When the customers are at the restaurant, the said manager cheerfully greets them in a manner that is not duplicated anywhere.

In fact, in this restaurant they do not experience the cold nuisance complaints that you find in other restaurants. In thisrestaurant the employees try to show affection and build friendly relationships with the customers, instead of the usual seller - buyer relationships.

The employees smile a lot and give special attention to serving their customers, this attention stems from love and affection for their guests. The employees establish such relationships with their guests that the guests not only feel that they should come back but also bring their friends. It is clear how effective this method is in attracting new customers”

Headded: “Good Manners have not played a more important role throughout history than at this time. They have become the capital of those who wish to bring happiness and success to their lives” .10

Imam as-Sadiq (a.s .) included cheerfulness among the signs of man’s ability to reason. He said:

“Those who have the most perfect reasoning amongst people are those who have the best manners” .11

Samuel Smiles says:

“History shows us that the greatest geniuses were happy and Optimistic men, for they realized the real meaning of life and tried to manifest their reason in their flesh. When one reflects on their achievements, he can clearly notice their healthy souls and thinking and their kindness and enthusiasmThe greatest souls and most intelligent people all enjoy cheerful faces and happiness. Their manners were examples for those who adhered to them and were influenced by their conduct, hence they followed the light of’ their kindness and natural happiness” 12

The Honorable Messenger (S) said:

“The most important traits which will lead my nation to Paradise are fear of Allah and good manners” 13

Consequently it is incumbent upon him whose leader is reason and who desires to lead an honorable life to achieve this priceless spiritual capital, good manners. In order to eradicate an unwanted characteristic, man needs earnest desire to reach his goal. A glance at the disadvantages that bad manners leave provides an incentive to lead him into struggling to eradicate such manners.

Notes

1.Rawdah al-Kafi .p.268.

2.Nahj a1-Fasahah, p.371.

3.Wasa’il ash-Shia v.2, p. 222.

4.Fada’il al-Khamsah , v.1. p. 119.

5.Wasa’il ash-Shia , v.2, p. 221.

6.Pirozi Fikr .

7.Musadrak al-Wasa’il , v.2, p.83.

8.Akhlaq .

9.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 279

10.Khish tanSazi

11.Wasa’il ash-Shiah , v.2 , p. 221.

12.Akhlaq .

13.Wasa’il ash-Shiah , v.2 , p. 221.

Optimism

Trust and Peace of Mind

Man needs stability more than any other thing in his unstable life. Those who engage themselves struggling to achieve goals without being equipped with the weapon of stability face failure anddefeat . In fact, as one’s responsibilities increase, his need for stability and assurance also increases. In light of this fact, it becomes the duty of everyone to learn how to avoid anxiety and revert to stability and assurance.

Struggling to acquire wealth, power, fame, and other material gains is not but falsehood. Efforts made in this path will go to waste, because man’s happiness lies in his own soul, just as the spring of misery lies deep in the heart. Medicine, according to Imam ‘Ali, the Prince of the Faithful (a.s .), is within man’s own soul, so we cannot find in outside influences the same effect that lies within the powerful resources of the human soul. Because outside influences are temporary, it is impossible that they would lead man to complete satisfaction.

Apictatus says: “We must let people know that cannot find happiness and good luck in places they randomly search for themselves. Real happiness does not lie in power and ability. BothMirad andAgluis were miserable people despite the great power they had.

Likewise, happiness does not lie in wealth and large amounts of money. Croesus, for example, was not happy even though he had vast wealth and treasures. Happiness also cannot be achieved by governmental powernor by political chokes.

The RomanCeasers were unhappy despite their great power. Actually, happinesscan not be achieved by acquiring the above mentioned gains together. Nero,Sandnapal andAghamnin were known for their continuous weeping because they were like toys in the hands of misfortune.

Yet they had all the benefits of wealth,power and fame. Therefore, man has to search for the means of real happiness in his own soul and conscience.”

We must admit that the solution for many unsolved questions innature, and the rapid increase in machinery are not enough to bring about a worry free life. This new machinery isnot only unable to reduce the amount of suffering in the world, but has also brought with it many new problems and uncertainties.

Therefore, in order to free ourselves from the continuous sufferings of life and go beyond the blackclouds which darken our souls, we urgently need rightly guided minds. The mind can secure human happiness the same way it was able to bring aboutmany advancements in our material living. It is here that the power of thinkingbecomes clearly manifested and shows its astonishing influence on man’s life.

Clear mindedness is a fluent spring which advance man to a more excellent degree than material gains can by introducing him to a vast new world. Righteous thinking prevents clever individuals from becoming toys in the hands of money. Those whose thinking abilities grow to become the center of their existence can steadfastly stand in the way of infliction when it befalls them, by adopting a positive outlook.

In order to safeguard ourselves from being victims of various events, and to protect ourselves from the waves of negligence and exaggeration we must establish a scale of thinking for ourselves by which we can judge our behavior and conduct; hence guiding our souls to correct thinking that may equip us with spiritual powers to defeat anxiety.

A leading western scholar says:

“Perhaps we are unable to elect the counted individualswho’s conduct and ways of thinking are most hike ours, but we are free to select our thoughts. We are the judges of our minds. We may choose that which we deem appropriate. The external causes andinfluences which we observe are not part of us that they may force us to think in a certain way.

Therefore, we must choose the correct way of thinking and eradicate disadvantageous ones. Our soulsare directed to the path of our thoughts. In other words, our thoughts direct us in any manner they wish; because ofthis we should not allow ourselves to hold any evil thoughts or to occupy our minds with that which we resent.

Such thoughts can capture us and make us victims of different kinds of misery. We must struggle continuously towards achieving perfection and reaching the noblest hopes and most honorable goals as the secret of success and happiness lie in righteous thinking only.”

The Effects of Optimism

In the same manner in which the body system becomes disturbed by various illnesses, the harmony of thoughts, which are held by one’smind becomes disturbed by different factors and evil traits. Despite the powers of the mind, itcannot be independent of a person’s conduct. Therefore, man can only feel happiness when he enjoys good manners that conform to his thinking,conduct and enthusiasm.It is the responsibility of men to eradicate the roots of the traits that blacken his comfort and happiness.

Two elements that help create harmonious thinking are optimism and a positive outlook towards life and others. Optimism and positive expectations of those around you are guaranties of comfort for those who live in the field of humanity. Contrary to optimism are pessimism andill-thinking of others which bring a halt to the ability of righteous thinking and reduce the ability to move towards perfection.

Optimism can best be described as a light in darkness which widens as the horizon of thinking does. Withit the love of kindness grows in man, thus counting a new development in his view on life and in his outlook at it. Enabling man to see a more beautiful color of life, hence, achieving the ability to observe all people in a new light and the powerto equally and justly judge each one of them. An optimistic man’s sufferings vanish and his hopes increase while keeping his apparent and spiritual relations with the various elements of the society in the best manners.

There is not a factor able to reduce the number of problems in a man s lifelike optimism can. The features of happiness are more apparent on the faces of optimists, not only in the instances of satisfaction but throughout life in positive and negative situations alike. The light of happiness shines from the optimist’s comfortable soul of the optimist at all times.

The need to acquire other’s trust is essential. In order for trust to exist between individuals, optimism must become part of their lives. This is afact which has its direct influence on the happiness of the individual and society. Trust among the members of any society is an important factor in the advancement of that society.

The opposite is also true, for mistrust can always be a destructive element in the future of any social entity. The deeper the communication is between the various elements of the society, the faster development and advancement are. Also, among the leading social fruits of optimism are harmony,cooperation and trust. Moreover, peace in any social life can only be enjoyed if therelationship between the members of that life are built on affection along with trust and good expectations of others.

A scholar in this field of study said:

“Good expectation is a feature of belief, and nothing can be achieved without belief and hope.”

When one’s trust in others increases, his trust in himself also increases; this is one of the naturaloccurrences which happen in all societies with no exceptions. At thispoint we should not ignore the fact that there does exist a big difference between optimism and trust in others, and the unreasonable quick belief in any person.

Trust does not mean that a Muslim should totally submit to those he does not know or listen to what they say without investigating their realities and examining them. Likewise, we cannot generalize the concept of trust to include those who are open in their crimes and injustices.

In other words, trust has exceptions and should exclude some members of the society under certain conditions. In fact, a trusting person practices scrutiny and studies the expected conclusions of every matter.

Therefore, his conductis built upon precaution and carefulness, and his actions depend on careful examination and deep reflections.

Islam Calls for Optimism and Trust

Islam has planted root in the believers by filling their hearts with faith. It is in this manner that our religion leads its adherents to comfort and stability. The Holy Qur’an states that the Honorable Messenger (S) was so confident that the hypocrites criticized him for it.

Islam commands its followers to trust each other, and to assume that another’s intentions are good. Therefore, itis not permitted for anyone to judge a Muslim’s actions as corrupt without proper evidence for such a judgment.

The Prince of the Faithful (a.s .) said:“Expect good from your brothers, unless something happen that makes you rule otherwise; and do not assume a word of his is evil when there is still the possibility of it being good” .1

When people trust each other, it increases their love towards each other and brings harmony into their lives. The Muslims’ Imams expressed the importance of trust in many ways. Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) once said:“He who trusts others gains love from them.” 2

Dr.Mardin is quoted as saying:

“When you establish a friendship with someone, try to observe only his positive points: then try to appreciate in your consciences those good traits von have found in him. If you are able to center this advise in your mind, on will live a good and satisfactory life, and will discover that everyone presents his good and kind sides to you while trying to win your friendship forhimself .” 3

It is even possible that optimism and trust affect the thinking and conduct of the misguided ones. In summary, they (trust and optimism) provide grounds for the salvation of such people.

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) once said:“Trust rescues him who indulged in sin.”

Dr. Dale Carnegie states:

“Recently I met the manager of a franchise of restaurants. This particular chain of restaurant is called “The Honorable Deal”. In these restaurants, which were established in 1885, the employees never presented a bill to the customers;instead thecustomers order what they wish to eat and after the meal they calculate the charges and pay the cashier without any questions.

“I said to the manager: ‘Of course you have a secret inspector?! You can’t trust all the customers of your restaurant?’ He answered: ‘No, we do not secretly watch ourcustomers, yet, we do know that our method is appropriate, otherwise we would not have been able to advance during this last half century.’ The customers of this restaurant feel that they are dealt with honorably, it stems from the idea that the poor, rich, thief, and beggar all try to conform to the good conduct which is expected of them here.”

Mr. Louis, a social psychologist, has said:

“If you interact with an unstable, ill-natured man and are trying to lead him to goodness and stability, try to make him feel that you trust him, treat him like a respected and honorable man. You will find that he tries to keep the trust that you have placed in him. Consequently, in order for him to prove that he is worth your trust, he will try to do what makes him qualified for your trust.”

How to Win Friends

Dr. GilbertRoben wrote:

“Trust children. WhatI mean is deal with them as if they have never made a mistake. In otherwords erase their past and forgive their wrong conduct. Try to assign important duties to those who do not behave well. With every new job that yougive them make it appear as if they have improved their behavior, and that they have become qualified for the job you have given them.

It is possible to remove theobstacles which stand in the way of correction by good conduct and trusting the ones to be corrected. From here we can say that most of the unwanted are not but reactions to fill space in the lives of the individuals.”

SirYal Bint used to suggestto trust children who have a habit of stealing with some money, and give them jobs which conform to the ability of those who are lazy. Trust guarantees comfort to the person.

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) said:“Trust is a comfort to the heart and security in faith.” 4

Trust also releases the pressure created by the miseries and misfortunes of life.

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) stated:“Trust reduces depression.”

Dr.Mardin said: “There is not a thing that makes life more beautiful in our eyes, reduces our sufferings, and paves the way for success like optimism and trust do. Therefore, be careful of painful thoughts just as you are cautious of illnesses and their dangerous effects. Open your minds to optimistic thinking and you will see how easily you can rescue yourself from existing thoughts.” 5

It is essential for Muslims to behave with each other in such a way that does not leave room for ill expectations to penetrate their society. Imam ‘Ali (a.s .), on this subjects, used to advise the Muslims to think positively about each other and not to act in a manner that would make others mistrust them. He (a.s .) also recommended that people should avoid places of suspicion. He is quoted as saying:“He who holds hope in you has given you his trust, therefore do not disappoint him” .6

Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) made the judging point for man’s reason his thinking about others when he said:

“Man’s expectation is the scale for his reason, and his conduct is the most truthful witness to his authenticity.” 7

Because an individual whose expectations of people is negative lacks the ability to reason logically, Imam ‘Ali (a.s .) made the Muslim’s refusal of ill-thinking a sign of their spiritual power. He also said:“One who refuses ill expectations of his brother, has healthy reason and his heart is at peace.” 8

Samuel Smiles said:

“It has been proven that those who have strong natures andspirits, are naturally happy and hopeful in life. They look at everyone and everything with trust and ease. Wise men see beyond every cloud a shining sun, and realize that behind every misery and infliction, exists the happiness they long for. These people find new power every time theyare inflicted with a new problem; and find hope with every depression or sadness.

Such nature enjoys real happiness, and its advocates are lucky. The light of gladness shines in their eyes and theycan always be seen smiling. The hearts of these individuals sparkle like stars and they see everything with an understanding eye and with the color they wish.”

Imam as-Sadiq (a.s .) considered good expectation to be one of the Muslim’s rights on each other.

“Among the rights of a believer to another believer.., is not to doubt him.” 9

Truly the element most capable of giving man optimism and trust is faith. Had all people been one nation who believed in Allah, His Messenger, and the Last Day, it would have been natural for everyoneto truly trust each other. The lack of faith among people is the reason for the acute disease of mistrust in society. A believer, whose heart is comfortable with belief and trust in Allah, depends on that unlimited power whenever heis inflicted with weakness. He seeks refuge in Allah during hardships: this trains his souls and deeply affects his morals.

Notes

1. Jami’ as-Sa’adat v.2, p. 28.

2.Ghurar al-Hikam .

3.Pirozi Fikr (Persian).

4.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 376.

5.Pirozi Fikr (Persian).

6.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 680.

7.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 474.

8.Ghurar al-Hikam p. 676.

9.Usul al-Kafi V 1. p. 394.