Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

The Child’s Rights

The Father

My child! In order not to judge in a one sided manner, I should tell you that as any child is obligated to his parents, they in return are obligated to him too. In reply to a man who had asked about his obligations to his child, the Holy Prophet (S) said:

تحسن اسمه وادبه وضعه موضعاً حسناً

“It is for you to give him a good name and to raise him in a good manner and to teach him an appropriate trade” 1

The Holy Prophet (S) has other points in this respect such as:

علموا اولادكم السباحة والرماية

“Teach your children swimming and archery.” 2

يلزم الوالدين من العقوق لولدهما ما يلزم الولدلهما من عقوقهما

“Parents are equally obliged to discharge their responsibilities towards their children and are accountable in case of failure. Similarly children are responsible to discharge their obligation towards parents” 3

رحم الله من اعان ولده على بره قال قلت كيف يعينه على بره قال يقبل يسوره ويتجاوز عن معسوره ولا يرهقه ولا يخرق به

“May Allah have mercy upon those parents who help their children so that the children could reciprocate the same towards them. They asked how they can help. He replied by accepting any easy task he may fulfill; and by not requiring him to do hard labour; and by not being rough and unfair to him.” 4

Imam ‘Ali (as) says:

لا تقسروا اولادكم علي اخلاقكم فانهم مخلون لزمان غير زمانكم

“Do not force your children in having the same characteristics as you do. Because they created in an era which is different from yours.” 5

Further he said:

وحق الولد على الوالدان يحسن اسمه ويحسن ادبه ويعلمه القرآن

“A father has three obligations towards his child: 1. To give him a good name, 2: To raise him in a good manner, and 3: To teach him Holy Qur'an.” 6

I think, by this, he does not merely mean the pronunciation of Qur'anic words, but rather the practice and implementation of its commandments, method, and its exalted moral guidelines in their day of day lives. You should familiarize yourself with the sublime realities in the Qur'anic text, so that you can meet your spiritual needs. What better honour is there to lead a life according to the teaching of the Holy Qur’an?

Our fourth Imam, Imam Sajjad (as) says:

واما حق ولدك فان تعلم انه منك ومضاف اليك في عاجل الدنيا بخيره وشره وانك مسئول عماوليته من حسن الادب والدلالة على ربه عزوجل والمعونة له على طاعته فاعمل في امره عمل من يعلم انه مثاب على الاحسان اليه معاقب على الاسائة اليه

“You should be aware of the fact that your child has come from you and that people associate his good or bad deeds with you. You are responsible to teach him good manners, and to guide him to the way of the Creator of the World and to help him on obeying Him. Most assuredly, you will be rewarded for the being good to your child, and will be punished for abusing him.” 7

Imam As-Sadiq (as) says:

برالرجل بولده بره بوالديه

“He who is beneficent to his child, is so to his parents” 8

Our seventh Imam, Imam Musa al-Kazim,9 (as) says:

يستحب عرامة الغلام فى صغره ليكون حليما فى كبره

“It is appropriate to encourage a boy during his childhood to do difficult work in order to grow up a patient and meek adult.” 10

The Child

As you admit for the most part, rearing a child and preparing him for a material and spiritual life is up to his parents.

Notes

1. Wafi, 12th part, pp. 210-211

2. Wafi, 12th part, pp. 210-211

3. Wafi, 12th part, pp. 210-211

4. Wafi, 12th part, pp. 219-211

5. Al Imam Ali, vol. III, p 733

6. Nahjul Balagha, p. 546.

7. Wafi, Part III, p.127

8. Wafi, part II, p. 211

9. The Seventh Imam, Musa, entitled al-Kazim (128/44-183/799). The son of the sixth, he was contemprerary with such Abbasid caliphs as al-Mansur and Harun al-Rashid. He lived most of his life in Medina with several restrictions placed upon him and finally died in prison in Bagdad. After him, the Imams were often not able to live in their traditional home of Medina, but were forced to remain near the caliph in Baghdad or Samara. He is buried in Kazimayn in Iraq.

10. Wafi, Part II,P. 211

The Responsibilities of Fathers & Mothers

The Father

My child! Based on the verse in the Holy Qur'an that advise benevolence to parents, next to worshipping of Almighty Allah, it is understood that next to our obligations to Him, there is no greater obligation than that to our parents.

The Child

My honourable father! Your responsibilities to me as parents are as great as your authority over me. It is all up to you as to how you raise and rear me and how to educate me. Our times are different from each other’s. Our environment too is different from that in which you were growing up. A simple life, with no means of corruption and not too many social obligation or luxuries, raised you to the way you are. But I was born into this world in the age of Atom, machine and cinema and in a polluted environment.

As if I were to spend all day and night serving you would not be too, much, you should do likewise for me, and have a watching eye day and night one me in this rough sea (of life). If I am about to drown, grab my hand and rescue me. Parents should periodically go to their children's schools and inquire about their education and behaviour from their teachers. Ask about their associates and close friends and particularly to ask about where they spend their time when they are out for the evening.

At night at home they should help their children with their homework by offering them guidance. If they are about to engage in an unwise activity, they should stop them by explaining to them the harms that may be involved. In this way, they will learn from their parent's past experiences. Of course, their involvement should not be detrimental to the children's independent personality or to their confidence building.

Rearing of a Child

The Father

My child! Speaking of rearing of a child, I must agree that a child is capable of being trained. If it were not so, we the parents, would not have been obligated for your upbringing.

He also is capable of improving. Many evil doers who received the right kind of advice became righteous people. And many ill-tempered accepted guidance and converted into good natured gentle individuals.

So, in this manner, it is only wise for parents to offer their good advice to their children whenever they note the later are starting to misbehave or weaken their religious beliefs. Not by beating them up or by putting them under material pressure, or by kicking them out of the house. Rather, by offering advice or by having a mutually trusted individual talk to them and give them guidance. Furthermore, in a sympathetic way, they should pray to Allah that the child be corrected. They should rest assured that he will then be guided.

A man named Dawood (David) went to Imam Musa al-Kazim (as) complaining about his own son that he had wasted a large amount of his money. The Imam said to him:

استصلحه فما ماة الف فيما انعم الله به عليك

“Try to correct your child. And know that compared to the blessings of having a child, one hundred thousand Dirhams (dinars) are nothing.” 1

The Child

As you just mentioned, the best way to rehabilitate a child and bring him back to doing good deeds again, is by telling him the solutions in a soft voice and in a respectable manner. One should avoid harsh words so the child would feel that all that is being said is well intended and is only for his welfare and that the purpose is to change his course to the right path in life.

Note

1. Wafi, part XII, p. 211

Importance of Mother's Rights

The Father

My child! Please be aware that the rights of mothers are more important than that of the father. An individual once asked the Holy prophet (S)“To whom should I be kindest?” He replied:“Your mother.” Then he asked:“After her, to whom” He again said: Your Mother”. The man asked the same question for the third time. The reply was the same, Your Mother”. And he repeated his question for the fourth time, the Holy Prophet (S.) answered him“Your Mother.” 1

Again a man asks the Holy Prophet (S.) about being kind to parents. In reply for three times, he said:“Your mother” : and only then he said“Your father.” 2

Perhaps there are two reasons for this importance: (A) Motherly affection, and (B) Mother's influence on the child's character. Perhaps there are two reasons for this importance: (A) Motherly affection, and (B) Mother's influence on the child's character.

A. Motherly Affection

It is the mother who suffers more pain in taking care and in protection of the child. She nourishes and brings up the child in her love filled lap until she delivers him to the society. One would be quite astounded to realize what a mother does for her child. Only then, one would agree that none would match a mother. Not even an affectionate maid or babysitter. Suppose a maid or a babysitter is able to offer the services, they do so in return of a wage, not merely for the affection to the child. It is the mother who suffers more pain in taking care and in protection of the child. She nourishes and brings up the child in her love filled lap until she delivers him to the society. One would be quite astounded to realize what a mother does for her child. Only then, one would agree that none would match a mother. Not even an affectionate maid or babysitter. Suppose a maid or a babysitter is able to offer the services, they do so in return of a wage, not merely for the affection to the child.

B. Mother's Influence on the Child's Character

The mother lays the basic foundation of the child's behavior and character. As through her mild she provides nourishment for the body, through her teachings, she strengthens his spirit. Consequently, the child inherits his mother's mannerism, habits and other characters since early infancy and will keep them throughout his life. Finally, the child's happiness depends on the way he is reared by his mother.

The Holy Prophet (S) says:

لا تسترضعو الحمقاء العمشاء فان اللبن يعدى

“Do not select foolish women or women with weak eyesight to nurse your children, because these characteristics pass into the child towards the milk.” 3

Imam ‘Ali (as) says:

انظروا من ترضع اولادكم فان الولد يشب عليه

“Be careful as to who nurse your children since they will grow up with same milk.” 4

He also says:

ما من لبن رضع به الصبى اعظم بركة عليه من لبن امه

“No milk is more blessed for a child than that of his own mother.” 5

Imam Al-Baqir6 (as) says:

استرضع لولدك بلبن الحسان واياك والقباح فان اللبن قد يعدى

“Choose good natured women for nursing your children and avoid the evil one because milk transfers character.”

Samuel Smiles, writer, journalist and Scottish politician of 19th century, said:

“Those who swing children's cradles are more influential than those who run the government.” 7

“Rearing of a child begins at the time of his first smile.” 8

“Infancy is like a mirror. It reflects whatever is placed in front of it.” 9

“The model constantly present in front of the child is his mother” 10

“Mother has far more influence on the child than does his father.” 11

An Ancient Greek once said:

“If you put your slave in charge of rearing your child, soon you will have two slaves.” 12

George Herbert says:

“One good natured mother is worth one hundred teachers.” 13

John Randolph, the well-known American politician says:

“Only one thing saved me from becoming atheistic. That was the thoughts of the moments when my mother in her death bed took my hands and placed me on her lap and made me repeat after her, her belief in the Lord.” 14

It has been said that:

“A good mother is nature's masterpieces.” 15

Napoleon Bonaparte used to say:

“A child's good and bad behaviour always depends upon that of his mother.” 16

Adams, the American President, says:

“During infancy, I had the greatest blessing anyone could have. That, having a mother who was capable of raising a family in an excellent instructions from her. If there are any shortcomings and deviations in my life, it is of my own fault and it has nothing to do with her” 17

Joseph Demister, after discussing the inventions and art works produced by some famous men, continues that:

“It is true that women have produced no such things, but what they have done is far more important than all these works because it is women who have raised such pious and industrious men.” 18

He throughout his works, refers to his mother with love and respect. In one instance, he says:

“Good natured mother was a heavenly angel who was bestowed a human body temporarily by God.” 19

Goethe had a great affection and love for his mother. About her he says:“My mother had excellent qualities for living.” 20

And when he was in Frankfurt, he would meet with all people who had in any way been kind to his mother and would thank them for that.

Samuel Johnson talks with extreme respect about his mother.

“She was a wise and well educated woman who enforced religious sentiments in him since early childhood. And in appreciation, he, with his small income, would provide all kinds of conveniences for her.” 21

The Child

I admit that the rights of mothers are extremely important. That is why to mother, I say“I shall never forget about your contribution as my mother, I have read that Heaven is under the footsteps of mothers like you and happiness comes through being obedient to you. I consider that a big mistake on my part if I am not a decent and worthy child, for you. And a life in which I do not fulfill my obligations to you would be a miserable life.”

I am certain that you will be happy with me even if I am not good to you. And no matter how nasty I am, you will forgive me. You’re being happy with me, and your forgiveness is enough to make me happy in life on this earth and to save me forever from Allah's wrath on the Day of Judgement.

Notes

1. Usul Kafi, New Edition Tehran, Vol. II p. 159

2. Usul Kafi, New Edition Tehran, Vol. II P. 162

3. Wafi, part XII, p. 27

4. Wafi, Part XII,PP. 27-27

5. Wafi, Part XII, pp. 27-28

6. The Fifth Imam, Muhammad, known as al-Al-Baqir (57/675-114/732). The son of the fourth Imam, he was present at Karbala at a young age. Because of changing political and religious conditions, among them the general revolution following the events at Karbala, many people came to Medina to learn the religious and spiritual sciences from him. He trained numerous well-known men of religion, and mainly for this reason is the first Imam after 'Ali from whom large numbers of traditions are recorded. He buried in the Baqi cemetery in Medina. [Tr]

7. The Book of Ethics, Part 1, pp. 38-48

8. The Book of Ethics, Part 1, pp. 38-48

9. The Book of Ethics, Part 1, pp. 38-48

10. The Book of Ethics, Part 1, pp. 38-48

11. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

12. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

13. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

14. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

15. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

16. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

17. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

18. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

19. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

20. The Book of Ethics, Part, pp. 40-54

21. The Book of Ethics, and Editions, Part 1, pp. 50-54

The Exciting Words

The Father

My child! We have inherited from our fourth Imam, ‘Ali b. Husain (as) a precious encyclopedia in the form of supplication and requests from Allah, by the name of al-Sahifah al-Sajjadiyyah. I am going to read to you a passage from this book on the topic of our discussion. I hope to draw your attention to some exciting words in connection with one's obligations to his father and mother. The honourable Imam with much fear in his heart, sits in prayer in front of glory and majesty of Almighty Allah and in a humbling voice says:

اللهم صل على محمد عبدك و رسولك واهل بيته الطاهرين و اخصصهم بافضل صلواتك ورحمتك و بركاتك وسلامك واحصصهم اللهم والدى بالكرامة لديك والصلوة منك ياارحم

الراحمين اللهم صل على محمد و اله والهمني علم ما يجب لهما على الهاما واجمع لى علم ذلك كله تمام

“O Lord, bless Muhammad, Thy servant and Thy Apostle and the holy people of his house.

Distinguish, O Lord, my parents with excellence before Thee and grace from Thee, O Most Merciful!

O Lord, bless Muhammad and his descendants.

Acquaint me by inspiration with the knowledge of what is due unto them from me.

Collect for me the complete knowledge of all this.

Cause me to act according to what Thou reveal to me by inspiration.

Give me grace to penetrate into such of this knowledge as Thou teach me till I omit to perform nothing Thou have taught me. Do not let my limbs grow heavy (so as to prevent them) from the discharge of what Thou reveal unto me.

O Lord, bless Muhammad and his descendants as Thou hast exalted us with him.

Favour Muhammad and his descendant as Thou has given us claims upon Thy creation because of him.

Make me fear my parents as I would fear a despotic ruler and love them with the tenderness of an indulgent mother.

Let me obedience to my parents and beneficence to them be sweeter to my eyes than sleep is to the drowsy, cooler to my beast than drinking water is to the thirsty, till I give preference to their wishes over mine and precedence to the satisfaction of their needs over mine.

Let me over-value their benevolence to me, even in small things and under-value my beneficence to them, even in great things.

O Lord, let me lower my voice for them.

Let my speech be arguable to them

Soften my conduct towards them.

Let my heart be kind to them.

Make me tender and lenient unto them both.

O Lord, reward them for bringing me up.

Recompense them for loving me.

Guard them as they guarded me in my infancy.

O Lord, whatever pain they may have received from me, whatever displeasure may have been caused to them by me or whatever duty owed to them that was left unperformed by me, let that be a pardon of their sins, and exaltation of their rank and an addition to their good deeds.

O Thou, who does change evil deeds into multiplied good deeds!

O Lord, that speech in which they were unjust to me, or that action in which they were extravagant against me, or such of my claims as they failed to satisfy, or such debts as they failed to discharge, verily, I forgive it to them and favour them therewith.

I turn unto Thee with a view to removing the penalty thereof from them.

For verily I do not accuse them falsely of having done something to my hurt, nor do I deem them negligent in doing good to me, nor do I despite the care they took of me, O Lord!

Because their claim upon me is so great, their benevolence to me so magnificent and I am as highly obliged to them, that

I cannot fairly meet, it nor repay them as they deserve.

O my God, how can I repay them for their tedious employment in bringing me up?

For their hard labour in guarding me.

For their self-denied to lavish comfort upon me!

Alas! Alas (I cannot).

Their claim can never be satisfied by me, nor can I perceive what is due from me unto them nor can I fully discharge the duty of serving them!

Therefore, bless Muhammad and his descendants. Help me, O best of all those whose assistance is solicited. Give me grace, O Greatest of Guides, towards whom people turn.

Do not let me be of those who wronged their fathers and mothers on the day wherein “every soul shall be paid what it has merited and they shall not be treated with injustice.

O lord, bless Muhammad and his descendants.

Distinguish my parent, in particular with the best distinctions which Thou hast conferred upon the fathers and mothers of Thy true believing servants, O Most Merciful.

O lord, do not let me forget to remember them after my ritual prayers, at every time of my night and at every hour of my day.

O God, bless Muhammad and his descendants.

Forgive me for the sake of my prayers for them.

Grant a sure pardon to them because of their goodness to me.

Be perfectly satisfied with them through my intercession for them.

Bring them by Thy Mercy into places of safety.

O God, If Thy Pardon for them has preceded (my prayers), then make them intercessors for me.

If Thy pardon for me has preceded (Thy forgiving them.) than make me an intercessor for them so that we may be gathered by Thy Mercy in the place of Thy grace, the place of thy pardon and Mercy.

For verily Thou art the one Whose Munificence is Great, Whose kindness is eternal. Thou art the Most Merciful.” 1

The Child

No matter how hard or how long I tried, I would not be able to observe the sensitive and important subjects on fathers and mothers as it is apparent from the beautiful and meaningful and concise words of our Fourth Imam. Every single sentence of his statements are an indication of how deeply he thinks and of how knowledgeable he is.

Such words can come only from an individual of excellent calibre and a pious man as Imam Sajjad (as). Hearing him had such an impact upon me as if he woke me up from a deep and long sleep. I pray to Allah, by the glory of this holy man and his words, to grant me that ability to put these words practice.

Note

1. Al-Sahifa Al-Sajjadiyyah, Prayer number 24 (For parents)

The Limited Obedience

The Father

My child! As important as it is to obey your father and mother, you should know that is is not an absolute must. In instances where the parents are corrupt and they encourage the child in doing wrong and illegal actions, one ought not obey them. Nevertheless, treating them with respect is always recommended. The almighty Allah says:

وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَاۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاۖ

“But if they strive to make thee join in worship with me, things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not, yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration)” (The Holy Qur'an 31:15)

Imam ‘Ali (as) in Nahjul-Balaghah, which after the Glorious Qur'an is the best guide for mankind, says:

ان للوالد على الولد حقا فحق الوالدان يطيعه في كل شىء الا في معصية الله سبحانه

“An obligation of a child to his father is to obey him in all but not sinfulness actions.” 1

The Child

Yes, what you are saying is absolute truth. Of course, breaking Allah's rules even upon the instant of father and mother is wrong.

Note

1. Nahjul Balaghah p. 546

Forever

The Father

My beloved child! You are not only advised to treat your parents with respect in their lifetime, but after they die too, you must speak of them with honour. You must beg Allah to forgive them. For, if you are a child worthy of your father, you can still earn your parents rewards from Allah.

Imam As-Sadiq (as) says:

ليس يتبع الرجل بعدموته من الاجر الاثلث خصال: صدقة اجراها في حيوته وهى ترجى بعدموته وسنة هدى سنها فهى يعمل بها بعدموته او ولد صالح يدعوله

“After a man dies, he can still rewards from Allah in three different ways:

1. From what he has left behind which still benefits he public.

2. From establishing a useful tradition be followed by others after his death, and

3. From prayers done in his name by pious child.” 1

So, when your parents are dead and no longer are able to do rewarding deeds for themselves, you can come to their help. You can be thinking of them and make them happy by asking Allah to bless their souls. As they thought of you throughout their lives.

The Child

I pray to Allah to keep you and protect you for many years to come, and to succeed in doing my best in fulfilling my obligations to you; and to make both of you absolutely happy with me.

Note

1. Wafi part 13, p. 90

The Eldest Brother

The Father

My child! In the same way as fathers are worthy of everybody's respect, the eldest brother is ought to be honoured by all their siblings. Furthermore, the later should regard him as their father.

Our Eighth Imam Ar-Ridha’ (as) had a saying in this regard:

الاخ الاكبر بمنزلة الاب

“Your eldest brother is like your father.” 1

The Child

Of course, he deserves such a high respect provided that his attitudes towards all his siblings are as that of his father. He is to treat them with brotherly love and compassion. Be nice rather than cruel to them at times. In short, be like a father to them.

Note

1. Wafi, part 14, p. 79

Caring For the Family and the Mankind

The Father

My child! In same manner that one should honour and respect his parents, it is appropriate that he be compassionate to his spouse, children, brothers, sisters and all his relatives, so life would become pleasant for him.

Lord Aviboury says:

“One must have love and kindness in every aspect of life. What is a home without love likes? How is life possible in such a home? It is possible to have a beautiful building equipped with all facilities and appliances. But such a place without love is nothing less than hell. On the other hand, if you base your home on love and friendship, you can live there in happiness forever after.” 1

He further continues:

“Life in this world is like dream. 2 It does not last long. Here man is like a drop of dew that shines of a few moments then suddenly he disappears. In this case, why should we spend this short life with misery and hardship? In our short lifetime, we should love one another and enjoy each other’s friendship.” 3

The Child

Of course, loving and caring for family, relatives and friends and all mankind, brightens our hearts and makes life a more pleasant and joyous one to live.

Notes

1. In Search of Happiness, pp. 107, 139

2. In a poem written in 1982, William Buttler Yeats commented on the brevity of human life: “From our birthday until we die is but the winkling an eye.” Also the Holy Qur'an says as follows: He says: “What number of years you did stay on earth?” They will say: “We stayed a day or part of a day, but ask those who keep accounts.” (The Holy Qur'an 23: 112-113 [Tr])

3. In Search of Happiness, pp. 107, 139

The Spiritual Fathers

The Father

My child! As in the same way that you are greatly indebted to your parents, we are obligated to the Holy Prophet (S.) and to our other religious pioneers and leaders. Our Holy Prophet (S) founded the religion of Islam. Imam ‘Ali (as) and other Imams strengthened its foundation as far as they possibly could propagate it, and struggled diligently for the betterment of Islam and the Muslims. They took great pains in strengthening and protecting Islam's roots against dangerous and cataclysmic events throughout their lives.

These true leaders have always had people’s interest in mind and have issued instructions for people to follow in order to achieve complete happiness in life. Through their divine influence on masses, they were able to attract their unshakeable loyalty. The later were even willing to sacrifice their own lives for the Imams.

Through following their philosophy, one can learn about perseverance, faith, strong belief, struggling for the cause of liberty, self-sacrifice, serving others, suppressing injustice, assisting the oppressed and finally bout love for human beings. My child! The entire world pays homage to the excellent thoughts and firm institutions of our religious leaders.

The Child

Of course, to be fair to our religious leaders is to put their words of guidance into practice, and to model our actions after their actions. If we could sincerely implement their guidelines our society will become the most dynamic, prosperous community of mankind. Simply, knowing their noble characters and greeting and remembering them with honour, is not enough.

I say so, because I know of people who speak of their love and respect for our Imams and utter excellent salutations after upon hearing their names and even in some instances, will rise in their honour, but when it comes to act according to their instructions, it is something else. They forget all about them.

In my opinion these sort of people simply deceive themselves, and feel happy that they are the followers of the Holy Prophet (S.), Imam ‘Ali (as), and other religious leaders. Because their acts and deed do not reflect any traces from these exalted leaders. Certainly, the Prophet and innocent Imams are unhappy with these type of people. As Islam is a practical religion, only those who adhere to and practice according to its principles, will benefit from Islam.

The Teacher's Rights

The Father

In addition to parent’s obligations, Islam attaches special regards for the teachers’ right.We must appreciate their existence and should discharge our duties and obligations towards them. It is believed that Imam ‘Ali (as) has said.

من علمني حرفاً فقد صيرني عبداً

“The one, who had taught me one word had indeed earned the rights of master hood upon me.”

It is the teacher who fights ignorance or in other words fights illiteracy. He sacrifices his productive years educating and nourishing people’s minds. Finally, it is he who delivers these services and through his endeavours brings value to the society.

A famous Iraqi poet known as Rassafi has written a beautiful and meaningful poem in praising teachers, describing their contributions in an appropriate manner, as follows:

اذا كان هل الناس مدعاة غيهم

فليس سوى التعليم للرشد سلم

فلو قيل من يستنهض الناس للعلى

اذا ساء محياهم لقلت المعلم

معلم ابناء البلاد طبيبهم

يداوى سقام الجهل والجهل مسقم

وما هو الا كوكب في سمائهم

به يهتدى السارى الى المجد منهم

فلا تبخسن حق المعلم انه

عظيم كحق الوالدين واعظم

فان له منك الحجى وهو جوهر

وللوالدين العظم واللحم والدم

الا النما تعليمنا الناس واجب

وان على الجهال ان يتعلموا

وما اخذ الله العهود على الورى

بان يعلموا حتى قضى ان يعلموا

“Whenever ignorance misleads people, there is nothing for progress except learning. If I am asked, 'when people are deep in corruption, who is the one who can save them out of it? I would “the teacher'. The teacher of the children of the country, are also their physicians who treat their ignorance. As lack of knowledge is pathogenic. The teacher is like a brightest star shining in the society's sky, who guide the knowledge seekers to glory and greatness.

Do not underestimate your indebtedness to your teacher. It equals that to your parents and even more. Your wisdom comes from your teacher while your muscles and bones are from your parents. It is our duty to teach the illiterate and it is theirs to learn. Allah has not commanded the people to learn without first making arrangement of divine teachers (the prophets) and the heavenly books.1

A Persian poet too, says:

مقدار معلم ز پدر بيش بود بيش

اين پرورش تن دهد، آن پرورش جان

“Higher than rank of the father is that of the teacher. As the former nourishes one's body while the later, his soul.

“George Herbert says: “O God! You have provided for us in every way. At first with our parents to bring us up, and later with our teachers to nourish our minds and to teach us the laws of intellect.” 2

Immanuel Kant says:“It is only through education that man can culturally become a most complete or perfect human being. In fact he is the result of his education.” 3

The Child

In general, teachers, professors and those serving others through educational activities play an important part in people's happiness. One can easily state that the people's future depends on the way the educators educate them.

Of course they should be sincerely devoted teaching and should bestow knowledge upon their pupils. They must possess a pure heart and be of excellent character to succeed in educating good-natured and enlightened students, because to receive good quality education and to learn good character, the students are entrusted to them.

Only after they have successfully taught their students, the teachers have fulfilled their grave duty. An accomplished teacher succeeds in replacing evil characters by good ones. Of course, such teachers are worthy of high recognition and respect and are considered valuable and useful to the society.

Notes

1. Iraqi poet Rassafi

2. The Book of Ethics, Part 1. p. 37

3. The Philosophy of Education, Vol. 1 p. 41

The Fatherly Guidance

The Father

My child! Do take advantage of your youth and do not waste it. Use those unreturnable years to prepare yourself for your golden years. Bravery is not when one spends his younger years in lewdness and drunkenness. Rather, it is when, in spite of his youthfulness and energy, protects himself against any kind of sinful act, and to put his future’s well-being ahead of his sensual desires and to follow his intellectual judgment in every situation.

There are some young people who know nothing about good mannerism and good behaviour. They should try to better themselves while there is still a chance and before it becomes too late. They should also free themselves from indulgence in their own desires. Instead, they should try to conduct themselves with modesty and to protect themselves behind a strong shield of chastity.

But, unfortunately, sometimes they are so deeply involved in such a degree of neglect that they cannot find a way out and fail to have any foresight. Undoubtedly, someday they will be sorry. But then, it will be too late as they have lost all their chances. My child! I am afraid you will grow up to be one of them. Choosing to lead a rebellious life, you may have a future similar to theirs.

The Child

Your fear about my future is justified because one can expect just about anything from an unexperienced young individual. But, I am hoping that with your guidance and advice you will help me find the right path and that I will be able to follow it steadfastly.

A Word of Advise

The Father

My child! Improving and refining you character and manners in more important than learning a trade or a skill and it is of more value for you than an education. I say so because an education without a good character to accompany it, and a skill in the absence of a good nature are just useless! My child! Arm yourself with good morals and pay as much attention to your conscience as to you physical appearance. My child! Do you wish for me to be like a mirror for you to tell you about your good and bad deeds? And you good and bad qualities?

And if I ever tell you of them, will you then stop the bad ones? And will you keep up with the good ones? And will you better yourself in this way? How nice it would be if you decide to do so. My child! Stay away from associating with evil-natured people. Avoid mixing with them, as it will destroy you. Many a celebrated youth who kept company of unsuitable people became misguided: and many corrupt individual who associated with the virtuous became virtuous himself.1

My child! If you do not learn from my advice, nature itself will teach you! The life's hardships and difficulties will punish you. The common everyday problems in life will knock you off your feet. Only then, you will realize that we have always had your interest and will-being in mind. And so far, all we have shown you has been a straight and safe path - and not a slippery one. And what we have warned you against has been a slippery path - and not a straight and safe one!

The Child

What an honour and pleasure for me that you be my tutor to bring to my attention my good and gad characteristics through honest criticism. So if you see any wrong doing in me, please first make me aware of it. And then show me the solution and how to correct myself. If I am corrected, it would be only, because of you and if I am not, please do not persist in correcting me. And do not turn away from me and please do not set me free on my own.

Note

1. According to famous Iranian poet Sa'di whoever associates with bad people will be see no good. If an angel associates with a demon He will learn from him fear, fraud and hypocrisy. Of the wicked thou canst learn only wickedness. A wolf will not take to sewing jackets. (The Gulistan (Rose Garden) of Sa'di, p. 246). Also there is a famous verse from Molavi as follows: The son of Prophet Noah associated himself with bad people; because of that his family tree was lost forever. On the contrary, the dog of the companions of the cave (Ashab -eKahf) Sura 18 of the Holy Quran, by associating himself with the righteous people, acquired human characteristics. (Tr)

Biography of Hujjat al-Islam Wal-Muslimeen Sayyid Mohammad Taqi Hakim

He was born in the year 1926 in the famous ancient city of Shoostar, in Khozestan Province, Southwestern Iran. Both his parents belonged to religious scholarly families and therefore he spent his childhood years in a pure spiritual atmosphere. His great grandfather was a famous learned scholar; Allamah Sayyid Nematoallah Jazari. After finishing his primary education, with encouragement of his father he started his religious studies in 1950 at Shoostar.

In his early theological studies at Shoostar he finished Sarf-e-Mir صرف مير with Ayatullah Sayyid Mohammed Jaffar Marooj; Tasreef تصريف with Hujjat al-Islam Sayyid Mohammad Baqir Hakim, and Hadaya هدايه under the able tutorship of Ayatullah Sayyid Mohammad Hasan Aley Tayyib. After finishing his primary theological studies within a period slightly more than two years, he was able to join the famous Religious learning Center of Qum in the year 1942.

He was resident at famous Faiziyey School in Qum for five years. In his stay in Qum he received higher theological education under the able guidance and tutorship of eminent jurisprudence such as Hujjatul-Islam Sayyid Mohammad Kazim Aley Tayyed, Mustafa Amili, Sheikh Abul Qasim Nahvi, Sheikh Abulfazal Qummi, Shikh Abul Qasim Ashtiyani, and Martyr Ayatullah Sheikh Murtaza Motahari (r.a.).

Having completed his higher education at the Religious Learning Center at Qum, he went to the city of Ahqaz Khuzestan Province in the year 1947. He stayed there for four years and during this period continued higher theological education under eminent scholars such as Ayatullah Marza Jaffer Ansari and late Ayatullah Sayyid Mohammad Taqi Aley Tayyeb.

In order to further pursue higher religious learning, he joined the famous Religious Learning Center at Najaf in Iraq in the year 1950. During his stay over there he completed higher religious curriculum under the tutorship of eminent learned scholars such as Ayatullah Mirza Hasan Yazdi, Ayatullah Sheikh Mohammad Taqi Iravani, Ayatullah sheikh Mujtaba Lankarani, and Ayatullah Sayyid Abdul ‘Ali Sabzavari. Also during this period he attended the lectures of Grand Ayatullah Sayyid Mohsin Hakim (r.a.) for Dars-e-Kharij1 as well as participated in the lectures of Grand Ayatullah Sayyid Abul Qasim Khoei (r.a.) for Dars-e-Kharij (Usool)2 after completing the advance theological learning during one year and a half, he again returned to Ahwaz in 1951.

He continued his stay in Ahwaz for the next 9 years and during this period taught Jurisprudence, principles of jurisprudence, and literature at the religious learning centers. He came to Tehran in 1961 and accepted the leadership“Imamate” of the Hisar-e- Bounali Mosque in Niavaran, and has remained in this position till today.

During his stay in Tehran, apart from his responsibilities for managing the Hisar-e- Bouali Mosque and relevant social affairs; he has written numerous books and articles covering educational, theological, and ethical matters. Also, he is a professor of Arabic at the University of Tehran and at various religious learning centers (Howze-Ilmias) in Shemiran.

He has a good command of the Persian, Arabic languages and is familiar with English. He has written numerous articles which have been published in the famous magazines of Iran namely; Payam-e-Inqilab, Khanavadeh, Ayand-e-Sazan, Iman and Saf, He is a prominent scholar and jurisprudent and have produced valuable literature covering religious, social, ethical, and medicine etc. Some of his famous books may be listed as follows:

Sayings of Imam ibn Jaffar (as), The guide for Hajj Rituals, Arabic-Grammar Guide, how to bridge? The Generation Gap, The Philosophy and Mysteries of Hajj, The Sayings of Imam ‘Ali (as), Foods and Drinks, The Message of the Prophet (S.). The Qur'an from the tongue of Qur'an, How to recite the Holy Qur'an, Hajj Guide in accordance with the decrees of Grand Ayatullah Hakim (r.a)

He has also translated numerous literary works from Arabic to Persian. His translations include: the rights of women in Islam, and the Limits of Freedom and Rights of Women in Islam. He has recently completed a book“The life of Qazi Nourirullah Shooshtari,” (956-1019 AH) who is famous as Third Martyr (shahid-e- Thalis) in the Islamic History, and was martyred by the Moghal Emperor Jahangir, his tomb is located in the city of Agra, Province of Uttar Pradesh in India.

Notes

1. Dars-e-Kharij. The highest level of theological education relation to jurisprudence, in the form of lectures, beyond the limited boundaries of text books.

2. Dars-e-Kharij (Usool) (Ibid).

An Atmosphere for Conversation

Spring has arrived and the universe is reborn. Trees once again done their fresh, green apparel. The earth becomes green and pleasant and the spring breeze is filled with heavenly fragrance. Birds are singing sweet songs. Everywhere the air is filled with joy. Sadness turns to joy. No one can tolerate saying indoors, so people, young and old, men and women, take to the fields and meadows to enjoy the spring, this new gift from God. All with their loved ones are gathered in small groups sitting around throughout the green lawns and by flowers gardens.

It is a new atmosphere. Everyone has abandoned worries about anything. Every face is wearing a smile. In short, people are moved, from with, with new thoughts and aspirations. Some are lying down without caring about their neatly pressed garments, students taking advantage of the clean fresh air, and busy studying. Families have come here to hold a family reunion. The joy of this kind of gathering is so noticeable from every face. Smiles and play are the order of the day. When tired of sitting and visiting, they strengthen their legs and take a short walk.

In one such family, there was a father busy visiting with his child. They had put the problems of their daily lives out of their minds and were deeply involved in a heart-to-heart conversation, in a totally free atmosphere. The father had long been waiting for an opportunity to open up his heart to express his feelings openly to his child. But the pressures and difficulties of daily life would not allow him to do so. However, this was a perfect opportunity. So, he took advantage of it and he finally opened up. His child too, in return, did likewise in such a warm, sincere atmosphere for a heart-to-heart conversation.

Hospitality and Appreciation

The Father

My child! If a person invites you to dinner in his home and treats you with warmth and in a comfortable environment, undoubtedly you will thank him. And if one takes you out for a meal, again, you will thank him. If while on a trip, one accommodates you over night, you will never forget his kindness. If someone invites for a lunch or dinner at his house, you will always remember his favour. If one gives you a drink when you are thirsty, I do not think you would not offer him your thanks.

If one gives you a pen or a book for a gift, every time you use it, you will be thinking of him. If one helps you rest after you are tired, you will express your thanks. If one helps you with your studies, you will tell him thank you. If one gives you a helping hand, you will be obliged to him. If one lets you use his automobile, he will receive you thanks, as is the case when someone gives you a ride in his car or when one offers you his seat on a bus. And finally, if one is only kind to you by worlds and not by his deeds, there too, it is unrealistic to say you will not say thanks.

My child! How is it then that for all these relatively small favours you show your appreciation, but to all the love, attention, care and happiness and to all the material conveniences that you parents have provided for you, you are so indifferent and are taking them for granted?

The Child

Oh, how great it is that you have awakened me. And how appropriately you brought this to my attention! I really have been neglectful as to all you love, compassion and hospitalities and have been taking them for granted. I have done so, just as one who pays no attention to the importance of the sum simply because it rises every day. Now I confess that I am greatly indebted to you and owe you all my existence. I take this opportunity to give all my thanks and appreciation to you and my mother even though I shall never be able to compensate you enough.

Mistakes and Apologies

The Father

My child! When you realize you have done somebody wrong, or have treated him in a rude manner or with harsh words, you would ask for forgiveness. If you suspect you have been disrespectful to someone or when bumping into him, you would say“excuse me, please” in an apologetic tone.

In short, you do your best to please others and keep their respect and be nice to them as soon as your realize you have offended them in the slightest way. But how is it that you would not say even one word of apology to your father and mother even though you are certain you have disobeyed, belittled and been rude to them? And won’t you try to cherish those who reared and nourished you?

The Child

I confess that I have been wrong. And now in the name of your child who is guilty of disobedience from head to toe, I beg your forgiveness.

The Most Sincere Caring

The Father

My child! Whoever does anything good for you or does you a favour, expects something in return. But your parents, who through their most sincere services and caring as well as their material means, have done their best to raise you and guarantee you comfort while growing up, have no expectation whatsoever for anything in return or to be compensated in any way. Rather, they have done so for you simply because they love you.

My Child! Think and think hard. Try to see how your father and mother are trying hard. To provide you with whatever you want and need. Remember all their wishes directly or indirectly are aimed at your interest and welfare. And when you become what you wish to be, and when your dreams are fulfilled, they will be most happy for you. And they take it as if that gave received the answer to their prayers.

My child! Don't you ever believe there is anyone on earth who will love you, or will care for you or will stand by you in the time of grief or will come to your secure, more than your father and mother do. Your Parents want your happiness regardless of anything in return. They just love you.

The Child

The harder I took, the more I realise there is no one more worthy of respect than you, my loving parents. I know of no one kinder than you. My heart tells me your kindness toward me matches that of none. I believe it is quite natural you care for me. That is because of such caring, that you do your utmost in making me happy. I wonder how much I myself will be able to do for myself.

The Unmatchable Love

The Father

My child! It seems that you have forgotten everything. You think you were born that big! You are ignoring the different stages in your life. And how gradually you have grown through them! Think of your childhood, and the many exhausting troubles your parents were through for your sake.

Think of when you were in your mother's womb1 and she carried your weight and of how she had to suffer morning sickness and many other complications related to different stages of pregnancy until you were born. That was just the beginning. The beginning of a series of new inconveniences for her as well as for your father. Your mother would nurse you, quiet you when you were crying, she would wash you, change you and keep your clothes clean.

During the night, she had to stay up in order to feed you and to lullaby you to sleep. Many time, she would beg others to be quiet so you could go to sleep. When you were healthy, they would worry that you wouldn't get sick. And when you were ill, they would do their best to seek medical assistance until you recovered your health again. In either situation, they would alter their life style to meet yours.

When you became of age you needed, even if they would do that with pleasure and satisfaction of being able to provide your food. And when you become a little older and were able to play with toys, they purchased for you toys and games.

My Child! As you grew older, they sent you to kindergarten, primary school, high school, college, and university. They paid for all your school needs to the best of their ability. They assigned a special room for your study. Around your examination time, they worry about your test results. And whenever you receive passing grades, it would make them the happiest parents under the sun. My child! When you are happy, they are happy and when you are sad, they are sad too. Whatever troubles your body and soul, or comforts it, would bother or comfort theirs.

My dear child! In the family setting, your father and mother would rather for you to be the one to have the best food, clothing, and accommodations. They would spare you from any unpreventable inconvenience. Even if they were not concerned about their own future, they certainly cared about yours. They worked hard to send you on a vacation so you would not get tired and bored. In the summer time, they would work in the hot climate but would send you to a cool place. My child! When you were at home, looking at you brought joy to their hearts. And when you were away on a trip, you were constantly on their minds. How could they forget about you? You are in their hearts. Whoever is in one's heart is on one's mind.

My child! If you were a few minutes late in coming home from school, they would worry about you. The same way if you were late coming home after going to see a friend. Think again, and think hard. Do you have anyone else in this world who would be so much concerned about you? My beloved! You are the apple of you parent's eyes, the joy of their lives and the source of their pride. Without you, the home is such a dull place. When your parents are out, their thought are with you, and upon returning home, they step in the house with anticipation of the joy of seeing you here.

My child! After your educational goal is reached and you are ready to off to work, they will use all their night and means to help you find your desired kind of employment, so you would serve your society in the best possible capacity. And now that you are putting your education to work and starting to reap its intellectual and material fruits, your parents have nor the least expectation to share its benefit with you. Instead, they are happy for your good fortune. My child! When you are ready for marriage, your parents, with their blessings and happiness, will assist you in preparing for and make happen this joyous event of your life.

My child! By the time you enter the society and occupy you place in accordance with what you contribute to it, you have gone through many life situations and in short, you have come a long way. My beloved child! Take a good look at your past. Review and analyze every event. See who had faithfully and sincerely stayed by you and helped you.

Were they any other than your father and your mother?

Yes? It was only they. It was only they who help you with your problems; got rid of obstacles from your path and help you fulfill your dreams and accomplish your goals. It was they who put up with all sorts of hardships and hazards! Words cannot express the degree and extent of all such inconveniences. Is there anyone who can do so? Only Allah knows all your father and mother had suffered for your sake!

The Child

I shall never forget all your endeavours that you, my father and mother, have done for my success, and in my upbringing. Also, I shall never be able to tell you how important you have been in my life. Or to mention the depth of your love for me. However, I look forward to finding an opportunity to express my appreciation both in words and in deeds, indeed.

Note

1. The Holy Qur'an describes this theme as follows: (Tr)

“And We have commended unto man kindness towards parents. His mother bearth him with pain, and bringth him forth with pain, and bringeth him forth with pain, and the bearing of him and the weaning of him is thirty months, till, when he attaineth full strenth and reachth forty years.

He saith: My Lord! Arouse me that I may give thanks for the favour wherewith Thou hast favoured me and my parents, and that I may do right acceptable unto Thee. And be gracious unto me in the matter of my seed. Lo! I have turned unto Thee repentant, and lo! I am of those who surrender (unto Thee).”-(46-15)

A Gift of Allah

The Father

My child! Keep in mind that children are gifts of Allah. Do not belittle this fact. Holy Prophet (S.) once said:

الولد الصالح ريحانة من رياحين الجنة

“A righteous child is a flower from flowers of heaven.” 1

He also said:

من سعادة الرجل الولد الصالح

“Of the signs of prosperity, the righteous child is one.” 2

And Imam Zain al-Abidin (as) is quoted as saying:

من سعادة الرجل ان يكون له ولد يستعين بهم

“One of the signs of a man's prosperity is having children from whom he gets helps.” 3

Imam As-Sadiq (as)4 said:

Once there was a man who said, he did not wish to have any children until he went to Mecca. There at Arafat, he came across a young man with tears in his eyes who was praying to Allah for his father. Seeing that situation, persuaded me to have children.5

The Child

Yes, a child is a gift, and man has been assigned obligations for this gift as Imam As-Sadiq (as) once said:

البنون نعيم والبنات حسنات والله يسأل عن النعيم ويثيب على الحسنات

“Sons are gift and daughters are righteous deeds. Allah holds one responsible for a gift but be rewards one for righteous deeds.” 6

Therefore, the father are responsible for their children and they should be careful how they treat and rear them.

Notes

1. The Book Wafi, Part 12, pages 196-197.

2. The Book Wafi, Part 12, pages 196-197.

3. The Book Wafi, Part 12, pages 196-197.

4. The sixth Imam, Ja'far, known as As-Sadiq (as) (83/699-148/765). The son of the fifth Imam, he lived in an increasingly favourable climate and was able to teach openly in Medina. Large numbers of scholars gathered around him to learn, including such famous Sunni figures as Abu Hanifah, the founder of the one of the four Sunni schools of law.

Towards the end of Imam Ja'far's life severe restrictions were placed upon his activities, as a result of growing shi'ite unrest. More traditions are recorded from him than from all the other Imams together. He is so important for twelve-Imam Shi'ite law that it is named the “Ja'fari School” after him. He is buried in the Baqi, cemetery in Medina.

Ja'far's fame for religious leaning was great, greater than that of his father or of any other Twelver Imam except for Ali b. Abi Talib (as) himself. Perhaps the earliest historical reference presenting Ja'far as one of the most respected and highly esteemed personalities of his epoch, and as having profound knowledge and learning, is Ya'qubi's statement that it was customary for scholars who related anything from him to say: “The Learned One informed us.”

Even the famous jurist of Medina, the Imam Malik b. anas, is reported to have said, when quoting Ja'far's traditions: “The Thiqa (truthful) Ja'far b. Muhammad himself told me that ...” Similar compliments for Ja'far are attributed to the Imam Abu Hanifa, who is also reported to have been his pupil. As-Sadiq's (as). Knowledge was great in religion and culture, he was fully informed in philosophy, he attained great piety in the world, and he abstained entirely from lusts. He lived in Medina long enough to greatly profit the sect that followed him, and to give his friends the advantage of the hidden science.

5. The Book Wafi, Part 12, pages 196-197.

6. The Book Wafi, part 12, pages 196-197.

The Results of Good Behaviour

The Father

My child! Think and see how do you wish your children to treat you and what do you expect from them. Then you would know how your father and mother want you to treat them, and you will understand that their expectations from you are fair and justified.

My child! If you wish your children to treat you nicely, appreciate you, and fulfil their obligations to you; and in the hard times, share your sorrow; and in the good times, be the source of your pride, in short to treat you with good behaviour, then do likewise for your father and mother and set yourself as an example for them, Imam As-Sadiq (as) says:

بروا آباءكم يبركم ابناءكم

“Treat your fathers with benevolence, so that your children will treat you with benevolence.” 1

The Child

It is my ardent desire to have quite capable children to help me out, and to cherish me. Thus, as they have said, I will have to improve myself and to establish an equitable relationship between you and me so that according to the principle of equal returns be worthy of having favourite children. Right now, I pledge to treat you in no way but with utmost benevolence.

Note

1. Tohaf-al-Aqool, p.359

The Fruits of Hard Work

The Father

Whatever possessions your mother and father have, such as the house and all there is in it, real estate property and others, will someday by yours, since we shall pass away and take nothing with us.

Think hard! You may even end up making better use of them. Your parents have obtained them painstakingly and with hard work. But will take great satisfaction in putting them at your disposal. They have even bought some items especially for you.

The Child

I pray that you will live for many years in happiness and in health and fully enjoy the fruits of you hard work. I do not want anything but to be able to live and enjoy life under your auspices and your protection.

A Good Reputation and the Family Environment

The Father

My child! It is you who can earn a good reputation for yourself through sincere efforts and good deeds, thus making your parents proud. Or, through mischievous and dishonest acts making them ashamed of you. Now, is it is not better to conduct yourself in the former fashion? That way, you will not only make us happy, but also Allah will be happy with you. This in itself is great blessing for you.

The Child

Everyone, instinctively, wishes to earn a good reputation for himself and his parents. However, this is directly related to the type of environment at home provided by everybody especially the elder family members. Imam As-Sadiq (as) says:

مازوى الرفق عن اهل بيت الازوي عنهم الخير

“In every family if there exists no fellowship and adaptability, it becomes deprived of Allah's blessing and bounties.” 1

Also Samuel Smiles, the famous author says:

“In any family where love and order is present, its members will have a daily life of righteousness and good deeds, its head is wise and kind hearted. One can expect to see happy, healthy and useful children come out of it. They, in turn, will follow their parent's ways and will provide happiness for themselves as well as people around them.” 2

Of course, at times one finds misleading factors outside the home causing the youth to go astray by surrendering to their sensual desires. That is the time when, if the parents don't come in and involve themselves to save their children, they will fall to ill repute and will be destroyed forever.

Notes

1. Usul Kafi, Volume 11, p. 119.

2. The Book of Ethics, Part I, p. 41.

Harmony and Co-existence

The Father

Now that we are talking about the family environment, I should tell you: The green family tree will bear sweet fruits only when its roots i.e. parent are compassionate and its branches i.e. children have understanding. This tree, in whatever home happens to be, will bring about a warm and pleasant atmosphere of love.

The sweet fruit of such a tree is comfort and happiness, because the kindness of parents and the understanding of children bring harmony and peace. That, in return, prevents creation of problems and misunderstandings. Thus, no dissatisfaction and hard feelings will appear among them, with such co-existence, everyone will discharge his own duties and will respect the right of others. The father fulfils the duties of fatherhood; the mother that of motherhood; and the children behave like children. Oh! How fortunate is a family which comprises such members and how blessed is a house that has such inhabitants.

The Child

Your conversation having such sweet words and appropriate metaphor is every fascinating for me and in respect of content too it is meaningful and perfectly correct. There is no doubt about its wisdom.

Revenge and Forgiveness

The Father

My child! When a person insults your mother or father or even treats them with disrespect, it is possible that because of natural instinct they may keep it in their heart and may look forward for a proper opportunity to take revenge from the person. However, no matter how you, my beloved child, mistreat them or how unpleasantly deals with them, they not only will not find a hatred against you but they also will not attempt to get revenge from you.

The Child

The purity of your hearts has impressed me so deeply. No matter how bad my behaviour should cause a slightest heartbreak, you would soon forget about it and would resume your cheerfulness.

This is because of my good fortune that the Almighty Creator has created you so compassionate to treat me with kindness and love and to never ignore me.

Complaining and Hoping for Forgiveness

The Father

My child! Following our discussions in the past, I do not believe you would ever mistreat, hurt or disobey us in any manner, shape or form. Nor would you turn away from us in disgust. Whatever we tell you does not come from mere carnal desires, but it is inspired by our love to you and is in your interest. So, listen to us and do as we suggest so you will find success and happiness.

The Child

When I was a child, I was ignorant. Now that I am a young man, I am suffering from pride. These two elements have prevented me from fulfilling my obligations towards you and from pleasing you. If my immature behaviour has caused you any hardship, or if I have ignored you, I sincerely apologize. And I hope that you will forgive me, as the great people do forgive. If parents do not forgive their children, then who would? And if they do not excuse them, who would?

Sufferings and Hopes

The Father

My child! Your father and mother have suffered a lot, gone through many ups and downs and thicks and thins, joys and sorrows in raising you and bringing you up to this stage, Look now! If you prove to be a bad person, you have spoiled all their sufferings and hopes.

The Child

Whenever, in appearance, I disagree with you, in reality internally, I feel ashamed and sorrowful. The more I disobey you, the sorrier I become. I pledge that from now on, I would be beneficial to you. If not that, at least I would not cause you any harm.

The Religious Beliefs vs. Superstitions

The Father

My child! Now that you have become mature, wise and of age, instead of honouring and respecting you parents, you are calling them ignorant, old fashioned and superstitious! What you call superstition, they consider religious knowledge and tradition. And they are deeply committed to observing them. Don't you think they could be right? And couldn't what you refer to as superstition be a set of truths that can be understood only after comprehension and attention?

My beloved! Speak with your conscience for a moment. Think about the things you label nonsense. See if you are not mistaken. Think hard and apply your wisdom for analyzing your understanding regarding religious facts. If you feel helpless, you may seek assistance from the religious scholar. See what can you come out with? Do you find them to be superstitious? Or are they a strong moral code based on logic, science, and discoveries?

I bear witness in front of my conscience that if you follow this method, and if you sincerely look into the roots and the branches of religion, you will then believe in them in a scientific and logical manner. And therefore while your parents were committed to their faith on the basis of following (Taqlid)1 of the others, you will become Muslim in your own capacity on the basis of enlightenment achieved by you, after a through knowledge of the religion.

The Child

The illogical statements and irrational behaviour of some people in the name of religion make us turn away from it. The superstitions which appear as religious facts as well as hard to believe imaginary rituals caused us to flatly reject religion. Otherwise, most of us young people do believe in the Islamic teachings and we look at the Holy Qur'an with extreme respect. Further, we have no difficulty in accepting the factual aspects of the religion.

Of course, we still need guidance in understanding of what we consider ambiguous and unclear. We also need someone to touch our hearts with simple but interesting explanations about our religious obligations and to convince us of the necessity of following them.

Note

1. A Muslim must accept the fundamental principles of Islam (Usulud-din) with reason and faith and must no follow anyone in this respect without proof and conviction.

On the divine practical laws of Islam (ah-kamud-din) one must be either a mujtahid (authority) based on reasoning. Or, one must be confident enough in one's ability to cautiously judge between rulings of different mujtahids (for example: If one mujtahid forbids an act and others do not, one must refrain from committing that act, or if one mujtahid makes an act obligatory and others only recommend it, one must perform that act).

If one is not a mujtahid and does not have such confidence in himself, then one must follow a (taqlid) of a particular mujtahid and act according to his rulings.[Tr].

The Right Way

The Father

The illogical words, the inappropriate deeds of some people, and the superstitions which have entered into religion, have no relationship to Islam, and they ought not to be considered a part of it. One should not accept them. Instead, one must fight against them. Rejecting such things, is by no means for disbelief in the true religion. You must only stick with the truths of the religion and get rid of all the fallacies.

The Child

Although I do not have the wisdom to tell you what to do, but allow me to say: when you find any fault with me, please try to explain it to me in a manner that I have the capacity to understand. If I ask you a question about the reasons why some act of worship is done in the way it is, or if I question the philosophy behind some others, do not get upset with me, and do not call me a disbelieving Kafir.

In School, I have studied mathematics and natural sciences and have become mostly familiar with physical reasoning. But some religious matters seem unacceptable and complex to my mind. I have to ask about such matters. If you explain the answers to me in any easy to understand language and in a nice and logical manner, I will be convinced and will accept them. It would make me happy to feel that I have been able to find the solutions. And probably, this will help me solve other problems too. Therefore, you should be pleased with this line of my questioning, since I am doing this only to search for and to find the truth.

The Role of the Religion

The Father

Our questioning bout religious matters is a highly recommended and acceptable deed. In order to have a stronger faith, one should accept religious matters only after conducting a thorough conscientious research. These questions not only will not upset your father and mother, but rather, will make them hopeful of a happy future for you. That is because religion is the means of improving peoples conduct. The Prophet (S.) says:

اني بعثت لا تمم مكارم الاخلاق

“I was assigned (to Prohethood) so that human being may achieve perfection in good conduct.” 1

Anyone who approaches religion has a better conduct.

This better conduct in itself, is the source of happiness. Therefore, the parents are dutiful to accept such a child with open arms and to offer him religious guidance following logic of the Holy Qur'an as it says:

ادْعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ

“Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching: and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious.” (The Holy Qur'an 16: 125)

Therefore parents are obliged to provide easy answers for the different religious questions raised by their children.

The Child

It is very pleasing to see you agree with me on this particular subject. I should thank you for that and I am hopeful that with your help and guidance, I will be able to acquire new knowledge about religion.

Note

1. Mohjatul Baiza, vol. v.p. 89.