1: The Principle of Marriage in the Cosmos
And of everything We have created pairs: That ye may receive instruction.
The System of Joining and Coupling in Inanimate Objects
Allah (God) wisely and fairly willed to create pairs of everything in the firmly-founded and extensive order of Creation. In the expansive scene of Creation the pairing of everything is an absolute truth with no exception. Even before man came to know this fact through his knowledge and perform scientific research on it, the Glorious Quran had made this truth known in numerous verses, including verse 49 of the Blessed Surah (Chapter) entitled “The Winds That Scatter (Al-Zariyat)”. This scientific fact covers everything in Creation, including inanimate objects, plants, animals and humankind.
This great statement which is a scientific fact and an explicit expression regarding everything which is in the cosmos, implies one of the miracles of the Glorious Quran being mentioned centuries before the scientific Renaissance came about; and in a city like Mecca or Medina with few who could read or write and lack of books or schools. This Quranic statement (51:49) is also a strong reason proving the originality of this scripture its being scientific and the justification of the Prophethood of the Last of the Prophets Muhammad (Pbuh).
The Glorious Quran has other verses about other aspects of Creation which have surprised and perplexed today's scientists and leave no room for doubt about its rightfulness to anyone in any rank or position and the fact that it is the guiding light in man's life.
This is the Book: In it is guidance sure, without doubt.
God's divine favor and mercy has set in the inner nature of all couples of any type the inclination, attraction, loving relationship and strong affinity for one another that will lead to marriage, consummation, birth and increase in the population. Thus, the magnificent order of Creation continues on and on and all creatures, of any sex or type, will attain happiness and pleasure in life and will benefit from their own existence and from the company of other beings.
The relationship of generation in the world of inanimate objects, in whatever form it takes, is manifested in the inclination for the combining of one element with another resulting in the creation of a third one. Consider the combination of oxygen and hydrogen, which are both flammable elements. The result of the combination of these combustible gases is cold water that is the essential liquid for living and cheerfulness. All of the following are wonders of Creation and a result of the will and mercy of the Lord of the two worlds. For instance, mutual attraction along with its numerous results or the case of positive and negative currents in a form with countless benefits can be mentioned here. It is this relationship between two elements and their affinity for each other, and briefly speaking the attraction existing between inanimate objects which is the cause of the generation and continuation of their existence; and the perpetuity of the excellent order of Creation as well as the beautiful expanse of existence.
Indeed, what an amazing power and what a great will is displayed when such a relationship of intimacy between two combustible elements can be established. The combination of these two elements creates cold water, pleasant abundance of springs, roaring rivers, great seas, endless oceans and fine rain. What a wonderful power it is which results in the production of diamonds from the combination of elements in the deep of the dark earth and in the heart of granite and in a place where there is a pitch-black bed of rock darker than night!
What a mighty will exists that can form red agate from the combination of several materials in the dark mines of Yemen and from the deep earth of Nayshabur sky blue turquoise is produced! Also from the combination of earth with animal fossils, thousands of useful things for man are created and obtained. What mercy and favor exists that through the combination of earth and stone or other materials with earth and stone such useful metals like gold, silver, copper and iron are produced! What a strong will and great wisdom exists that grants to His creatures so many blessings from the combination of elements with one another! What a strong will and great wisdom that has created such close affinity between the sun and the earth- between the collection of elements in this fiery ball and the earth's elements! Many blessings result from the combination of the sun's and the earth's elements. As Allah states in the Glorious Quran, no one has the ability to count these blessings.
It is God who created the skies and the Earth, sent down water from the sky and by means of rain gave you fruits to eat. He put ships under your control so that you could make them sail on the seas, and He gave you control of the rivers all over the Earth. And gave you power over the sun and the moon which are in constant motion and let you benefit from the day and the night. Whatever you asked of Him, He granted to you. If you try to count God's blessings, you will not be able to do so !
It is God Who hath created the heavens and the earth and sendeth down rain from the skies, and with it bringeth out fruits wherewith to feed you; it is He Who hath made the ships subject to you, that they may sail through the sea by His command; and the rivers (also) hath He made subject to you.
And He hath made subject to you the sun and the moon, both diligently pursuing their courses; and the night and the day hath He (also) made subject to you.
And He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favors of God, never will ye be able to number them. Verily man is given up to injustice and ingratitude.
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The degree of affinity and attraction of the elements and their being negative or positive and the loving relationship between them for generations is based on an orderly system, special laws, efficiency and just regulations. There are no excesses to be found in these inclinations (or attractions) and these relationships and this sincerity never turn cold. In this beautiful, broad and loving scene there exists no rage or fighting, no discord and opposition.
Divorce and separation have no meaning in these amorous unions. If in this great extent of Creation divorce, rage, opposition, separation and hatred existed, then undoubtedly corruption would completely cover the earth making a mess and destroying everything.
All the elements in the world of inanimate objects have a certain size and weight. All these inanimate bodies have appropriate distances and develop and circulate according to their own position. Their combination with one another is based on their match. Elements do not break out of their own pre-determined order and do not become enemies fighting with one another. Wherever they exist in this better system, they observe their own lawful existence limits.
It is not permitted to the sun to catch up with the moon, nor can the night outstrip the day: each (just) swims along in (its own) orbit (according to Law).
There will happen no change in the weight, size, length, width, depth, color, and properties of the celestial bodies; and their distance from one another is always constant. For instance, the distance between the Sun and the Earth, being approximately 150 million kilometers, never increases or decreases.
If the distance increases, all the earthly creatures freeze; and if the distance decreases, all the elements of the terrestrial globe will be burnt up. Nothing can be seen except for knowledge, justice and unfathomable wisdom - which are all based on God's will being manifested in all creatures. That is why whenever those having conscience and being fair, who think and understand, and those who are pure and innocent, look at the system of Creation wholeheartedly, and humbly remember the Creator - the great organizer of this order. They sincerely say:
Our Lord! not for naught Hast Thou created (all) this!
O' yes, orderliness, laws, limits, rights and facts are inwardly and externally manifested in all of the elements of Creation. And the names and attributes of Allah are displayed in all the creatures so clearly that even the illiterate can read and understand them.
The strangest thing is that all these creatures with their own especial systems are heading straight for their beloved and their goal that is God the Almighty.
That to thy Lord is the final Goal;
The System of Plant Symbiosis
The system of combining or in other words; pollination and reproduction in the vegetable and plant kingdoms is carried out in such a way that any onlooker would get thoroughly astonished. It is impossible here to explain all the aspects of this important matter, since it would take up too much time. In a few sentences, a brief look at this wonderful scientific fact accompanied by its especial conditions and surprising laws as well as its extremely accurately arranged plans, will be presented to my dear readers.
If one has paid especial attention to the various flowers, one may see some delicate bars and stamens in the middle of the flowers called styles. The number of them varies from flower to flower, there being a certain reason for this anyway. At the top of them there is a small, yellow projection called an anther. There exists a small bag with four cavities in which pollens are placed in the anther.
The fine powder called pollen consists of microscopic grains which are actually very similar to animals' sperm. After the process of pollination is performed between the anther and the female parts, the flower seeds are produced. The pollen particles being very tiny have within themselves a very complex structure and amazingly as well as elaborately-done work.
Large amounts of protoplasm, fat, sugar, starch and nitric materials are found in them, and in the middle there exist two nuclei one of which is smaller than the other. The larger one is called the growing seed and the smaller one is the reproductive seed. The functions of both will soon be explained.
The Pistil
This is the part located on the axis of the flower and on the top part there is a raised section called the stigma. Its surface is covered with a sticky material which is supposed to hold the pollen and help its growth.
On the bottom of the pistil which is attached to the flat portion of the flower, there is a raised section called the ovary. It holds small seeds attached to the ovarian wall by tiny stem-like structures through which they absorb water and the necessary materials. The ovary also has an outstanding structure.
Reproduction
After the seed capsules are torn open and the pollen reaches the female stigma, it immediately starts to grow. It must be stated there are different means by which the pollen can reach the stigma. The observation of this very fact greatly surprises those who study Creation.
There are various insects that instinctively perform this important function. They are attracted to the flowers due to their color, smell and the specially sugary material inside them. Landing on the flower, they transfer the pollen attached to their furred legs, this being especially essential in flowers having separate male and female styles set on different bases.
As mentioned before, once the pollen lands on the stigma it starts to grow. The larger nucleus being the growing one starts to grow with the pollen and moves towards the ovary near which it is totally demolished.
However, the smaller nucleus which is reproductive passes through a tiny tube entering the ovary and compounds with the ovules. Reproduction takes place in that dark secret space thus a new flower will be born.
Man, water and air are some other means by which plants and vegetables are reproduced. In the plant’s world, just as that of inanimate objects, certain laws for combination and reproduction are at work through God's will. These laws are carried out without any difficulties, arguments or divorce. Thus man and other living creatures obtain their food.
The System of Animal Copulation and Reproduction
The attraction of the male animal for the female one and the mutual attraction existing between these two living beings, expressly for getting pleasure out of life, reproduction and survival of the species, is one of the biological wonders. Anyone who ponders over the desire and attention paid by animals to this vital issue; and the order and discipline governing coupling and copulation, will be greatly surprised.
All of the following issues are actually the manifestation of God's will and are considered to be wonders of Creation: the couple's cooperation in building their nest; the nest structure; guarding their secrets; choosing the site and time; and more important than all this is copulation. Other wonders are paying attention to the chicks' condition and providing them with food; teaching them what they must be taught and protecting them from danger and unexpected events, etc.
Man is really surprised by the egg-layers' and mammals' world of secrets: copulation, attention paid to guarding the eggs, fetuses and the newly-born ones. The conditions and regulations governing coupling, copulation and reproduction are appropriate and based on the divine laws.
There is not a moving creature, but He hath grasp of its fore-lock. Verily it is my Lord that is on a straight Path.
No animal tries to attract another species of animal. The male animal does not deviate from its straight, divine path and there is no deviation found in the sexual instincts of animals. The male sperm is intended for females of the same species and no other species is taken into consideration.
Animals do not attack females belonging to another male of the same species and they do not pursue other female animals. Oviparous animals and mammals are not any different in this regard.
Those who ponder over the order and discipline of all affairs, especially copulation and reproduction of birds, reptiles, herbivores and water creatures will really get astonished. The animals' life styles and the rules that govern them are good lessons for those people who have not taken God's guidance and live a life lacking spirituality. Animals are similar to inanimate objects, elements, the moon, sky, Earth and vegetation in regard to order and discipline.
Man and Marriage
Coupling, copulation and reproduction in the world of inanimate objects, plants and animals are based on the rules of Creation and the correct order of the instincts. This vital issue and magnificent, natural program, however, must be carried out and be based on divine regulations; those heavenly rules pointed in the Glorious Quran and in celestial maxims of the Prophets and Imams
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The basic ingredients of this fact (marriage) have been placed in man and woman in the form of instincts, attraction, friendship, love, and kindness and are arranged according to God's wise will.
And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for thy Lord Has power (over all things).
In the Islamic immaculate culture, the action of choosing a spouse is recommended and greatly admired as an excellent program. If being unmarried might lead one to commit sins, it is absolutely obligatory to become united in marriage.
At this point, one must wholeheartedly put into action God's decree concerning marriage and not be afraid of the expenses involved, since worrying about future living expenses is a Satanic thought resulting from the mental weakness and not relying upon God’s grace.
Now let's consider the following Quranic verse from the Chapter Nur regarding marriage and God's guarantee to provide for living expenses:
Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: If they are in poverty, God will give them means out of His grace: for God encompasseth all, and He knoweth all things.
Literally speaking, "marry" in this verse is an order addressing all men and women in the society. One can conclude from this verse that marriage is necessary for those who need to get married or else their health and chastity would be endangered. The verse may also be used to instruct parents and those who can pay for the wedding expenses, to marry off young men and women.
Let's Be Lenient in Making Preparations for Marriage
It is a natural, human and vital affair for men to be attracted to women and vice versa, especially when the buds of the instincts bloom and the flower of lust with its intense degree and power appears at the time when one is marriageable. Marriage is an undeniable affair for anyone. The just desire of the youth, whether they be young women or men, concerning the future of establishing a married life is an obvious truth. This truth is as clear as the sun shining in the middle of the day for anyone, especially parents who have offspring of marriageable age.
The most important and the best way to prevent sinning and protect the society from falling into the whirlpool of corruption is to marry off young women and men when they need to be married. This is undeniable except by fools and the ignorant.
Based on the above discussion, during the first stage of this union, parents, other relations and anyone else concerned with the couple's marriage must be lenient in preparing facilities for this divine affair. They must make the wedding arrangements in the simplest way possible. At the next stage, it is necessary for the young man and woman planning to marry to avoid having inappropriate expectations from each other. And they should avoid creating strict conditions for marriage so that inclinations, instincts, lust and desires may easily follow their own natural path and the foundations of life would be laid on with prosperity. Thus, the building of success will be erected in this world and in the Hereafter.
According to the Quranic verses and the traditions, undoubtedly God the Benevolent will be lenient in this world and especially in the Hereafter regarding the deeds of those who are lenient about their own affairs; especially the ones concerning the marriage of their sons and daughters. On the other hand, men and women who are too strict will cause their offspring to suffer from nervous and psychic diseases; and become ill-tempered due to the pressure of instincts and lust. These innocent ones may commit sins and their hopes and desires be gone with the wind. In this world and especially in the Hereafter God will be strict and angry with them and they will burn in the fire of God’s Wrath.
Being too cautious about marriage will cause one to become too strict. The copulation of a couple in nature takes place extremely easily. This superior system undoubtedly could not exist now if the process of combining and copulation was difficult in nature.
O' you parents and offspring do not be too strict about the preparations for this divine and humane union; in determining the nuptial gift; in determining the marriage conditions; and in arranging the engagement party, the religious ceremony and the wedding party. Don't be too strict about performing local customs and do not propose plans which are beyond the financial abilities of the two families. Let the marriage take place easily as God the Benevolent will ease your affairs in this world and in the Hereafter.
Therefore, put into practice the ways of the pious ones and learn some lessons from this source of benefits and blessings. And establish your life based upon the characteristics of the pious ones, since happiness and the good of this world and the Hereafter are subject to following the example of the lovers of God the Eternal.
The Commander of the Faithful (Imam Ali) introduces the pious ones as follows::
"They are continually subject to self-control from any involvement in corruption. They require little and every good deed is expected from them. People feel safe and secure in their company."
At any rate, those who are involved in the wedding preparations must avoid the following: inappropriate expectations; imposing various unbearable matters on those making preparations; following one's own carnal desires; getting entrapped in incorrect customs; being extremely envious of what others have; and finally being too strict in all of the wedding affairs.
From the very beginning, the foundation of the marriage must be founded upon piety, goodness, leniency, and only for the sake of acquiring God's satisfaction.
After the contract of marriage, the man who had seen the woman before the union and had approved of her, must start a new life with her and guarantee the continuance of the divine love and mercy established between the couple. And the woman, who had seen her husband before marriage and had accepted him, must be a complaisant wife easy to live with and respect his rights in all areas.
The following instances are not signs of dignity: excessively expensive nuptial gifts; expensive ceremonies; entertaining lots of guests; following illogical and inappropriate customs and traditions and imposing strict conditions. But the following are dignified acts: the couple must match each other in rank; both families should obey the Islamic ethics; both husband and wife must observe divine and human rights; both partners must continue to be loving and kind for the continuation of the marriage and to avoid arguments.
The life of a couple, such as that of the Commander of the Faithful
and Fatimah (Pbuh), is the best model for each Muslim man and woman. Fatimah was the source of peace for her husband making a peaceful home environment, and Ali (Pbuh) was an excellent model and teacher for the children and a sympathetic assistant in the house and family affairs. He would not hesitate to help in simple matters around the house such as: cleaning; preparing the bread dough and helping to take care of the children. He would not let his wife have a hard time in doing household duties and would not make her do everything around the house.
It is obligatory for a husband and wife to respect each other's rights and be each other's helper in all aspects of life. They should not think that oppression is limited to Pharaohs, the King Nimrood and other oppressors throughout history. Any unjust act that harms others is oppression and God does not like oppression and the oppressor. He dislikes any violation of other's rights no matter how insignificant.
God willing, all issues regarding the Islamic Family Structure will be discussed little by little in the following chapters. Here some important traditions concerning the value and significance of marriage and its benefits have been cited from authentic sources. It is hoped that you will realize the strength of divine issues and that no other culture has Islam's wise and fine plans.
Traditions on the Value and Importance of Marriage
1 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
God’s Mercy and attention will be bestowed upon man in four situations: when it rains; when a child kindly looks at his/her father; when the door of the Ka'aba (House of God) is opened and when a marriage contract is drawn up and two join each other in a new life.
2 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
You must marry and marry off your single sons and daughters. The sign of a Muslim's prosperity is to pay the expenses for a woman to get married. And nothing is better approved by God than a Muslim home enriched by marriage.
3 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Marry off your single men until God will make them good-tempered and increase their daily bread as well as generosity.
4 -The Holy Prophet of God (Pbuh) said:
Marriage is my practice and whoever turns away from it does not belong to my nation.
5 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Whoever gets married has actually attained half of his/her religion and for the other half he/she should be pious.
6 -Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) said:
A man came to my father, the Imam Baqir. My father asked him if he was married, but the man said no. Then my father told him that he would not like to own the world with everything in it and live one night without his wife. Then my father continued by saying that two units (rakaats) of prayer of a married man is better than a single man's night of worship and day of fasting. Then my father gave the man seven Durhams and told him to buy the necessities for marriage with this money since the Prophet (Pbuh) has said: Choose a spouse and this will cause an increase in your daily bread.
7 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
O' young ones; Whoever of you has the means to get married, then marry so that you seldom look at other women and remain sinless.
8 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
No contract in Islam is more approved by God than marriage.
9 -The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Whoever gets married has obtained half of prosperity.
-The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Whoever marries at an early age will cause Satan to scream and say that the one who married saved two-thirds of his religion from my access. God's servant must remain virtuous to maintain the other third.
In fact, marriage is highly valued in Islam and it benefits man and woman greatly. Hopefully, families will ease this humane, divine and important issue and abstain from making conditions difficult to meet and be more lenient. And it is hoped they will perform these ceremonies according to their own social status being satisfied with what is available. Thus the youth’s desires would be naturally met and their instincts, being God-given blessings not turn into sin.
What are the roots of nervous and psychic diseases, inattentiveness to educational matters, being lazy in practicing prayer, rape, prostitution, lust and of lustful deviations? This question must be asked from parents who are too strict and entrapped in wrong traditions and habits being extremely envious of what others have. And also this question must be asked from those youngsters who are not pious and those who have the financial ability to provide for the youths' marriage but do not spend their wealth in the way of God. Whatever logical and acceptable answer they may have in this world, they shall have the same answer in God's just court in the Hereafter.
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Author: Allama Husayn Ansariyan
