Chapter Three: Second Stage: The StageAfter
Birth
This is the immediate preceding stage after pregnancy stage. Itis considered
the first societal surrounding that surrounds the child, being the foundation for orienting the child physically, mentally and socially and it has decisive effects in formation of the passion and the emotional growth. That is why Islamic system centralizes a special care with the child of this stage to portray and execute the following duties:-
Firstly: Birth Day Cermonies
Birth day
ceremonies is commence right from the first birth day till the seventh day in order to save-guide the child's health physically and psychologically.
Making the child to hear the name of Allah is the first duty of the parents.
From the authority of Imam Jaafar bn Mohammad Assadiq (peace be upon him) he said: The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Whoever have a new born baby should call for prayer (Azan) in his right ear and call for beginning of prayer (Iqaamat) in his left ear, that protect him from the devil"
.
For the importance of Azan and Iqamat in the child's ear, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) has bequeath the commander of the faithful Ali bn Abitalib (peace be upon him) in many of his testaments: "O' Ali if a baby boy or girl is born to you, you should recite Azan in his right ear and Iqamat in the left ear, by so doing the devil will not be able to harm him for ever"
.
Protection from the devil is the fortification on the child from deviating from his wish. These advices even though the present educationist and psychologist did not make any research on it but it is among the experienced and repeated established fact for those that implement it in their child's training and other advices in all the child stages.
It is recommended to name your child with good names and there is no any better name than Mohammad i.e. the name of the Prophet (peacebe
upon him and his descendants). From Imam Jaafar bn Mohammad Assadiq (peace be upon him): "A child is not born to us except we named him Mohammad, after seven days if we wish we change it or we leave it at our wish"
.
The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) laid emphasis on this naming by saying: "He has verily turn away from me who have four baby boys without naming any one of them with my name"
.
The Imams from the Ahlulbait (peacebe
upon them) do urge the Muslims to named their baby boys and girls with the following names: -
(Abdurrahman and its type having 'Abdul, Mohammad, Ahmad, Al-hassan, Al-Hussein, Jaafar, Talib and Fatima)
.
They did not encourage giving the following names: - (Al-Hakeem, Hakeem, Khalid, Malik and Haarith)
.
The good names protect the child from mockery and ridicules from others, so that itdoesn't
cause him to feel deficiency especially in an ugly name.
Aqeeq i.e. slaughtering of a sheep to mark the occasion and barbing the hair of the baby as it came from the sayings of Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) is among the birth day ceremonies, he (peace be upon him) said: "Slaughter on his behalf, barb his hair the seventh day and gives Alms (sadaqah) of its equivalent in silver"
.
Theoffering which is the substantial of Alms giving (Sadaqah)
prevent the child from problems and save him from risks.
May be it has positive effect on the child by the time he grows up and understand how the parents show their concern during his birthday. It is a good remembrance for those that received the offering or part of it as (Sadaqah) Alms giving.
Circumcision is among the birthday ceremonies. Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peacebe
upon him) said: "Circumcised your children on the seventh day after birth as it is more pure and quicker for growth of flesh"
.
SECONDLY: CONCENTRATION ON BREAST FEEDING
In the first month of the child's life, milk is the basic and only source the child feeds on, so thebreast feeding
is the best milk because breast feeding has its emotional effect on the child. The mother is in the best position to grant him sympathy and warmed emotion because of the mother's instinct inducement which Allah has given to the women, where as the child's feelings and sensation centered on the early days breastfeeding
.
Through breast feeding the bond of love between the child and the mother will be more firm, then the child's tense will be little and having rest of mind and blissfulcondition
.
Narrations and advices came from the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) emphasizing the concentration on the mother's milk.
The commander of the faithful Ali bn Abitalib (peace be upon him) said: "There is no any milk having greater blessing in breast feeding the child other than that of his mother's own"
.
Scientifically the best food for the baby is that of the mother's milk, in addition throughbreast feeding
the child will feel secured, safe and protected.But
in exceptional situations which affect the breast feeding like insufficient milk of the mother or her sickness or loosing her either by divorce or death, the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) has laid emphasis on choosing a suitable and appropriate foster mother base on the specified attributes. The commander of the faithful (peace be upon him) said: "Observe her who gives breast feeding to your children because the child grows on it"
.
The milk and the type of the foster mother have effect on the child in terms of his physical and psychological growth. Verily an experience has established the teachings of the Ahlulbait (peacebe
upon them) in this aspect. There are some attributes while choosing the foster mother that has been approved by the Ahlulbait (peacebe
upon them).
Imam Mohammad Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) said: "Breast feed your child with good milk and be aware of bad milk because milk transits"
.
He (peace be upon him) said: "Be aware of pure wet nurse because milk transits"
Prohibition came from breast feeding child by some foster mother.
Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peacebe
upon him) forbids breast feeding from Magians. From the authority of Abdullah bn Halal, he said,I
asked him about magian wet nurse, "he said, no but the people of the book"
He conditionedbreast feeding
with the women of the book by preventing them from drinking wine. Hesaid:
"If they breast feed for you, prevent them from taking wine"
.
On the authority of Ali bn Jaafar, from Imam Musa bn Jaafar Al-kazim (peace be upon them) he said: I asked him, is it polite for a Muslim men to employed women Jews and Christian forbreast feeding
while they drink wine? He (peacebe
upon him) said: "Prevent them from taking wine hence they breast feed for you"
.
Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) prohibitsbreast feeding
from a prostitute whose milk originates from fornication, he (peace be upon him) also said: "Don't seek breast feeding from her and her daughter"
.
Imam Mohammad Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) said: "The milk of a Jews, magian and a Christian is more preferable to me than that of fornicator child's milk"
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The effect of the milk in the child's innate is the wisdom behind the prohibition because a prostitute leaves in anxiety, psychological troubles, feeling of sin and short-comings right from the first day the embryo convene, she remain in this condition through out the stages of pregnancy and during her labor and delivery. All this anxiety and troubles has its effect on theemotional feelings
of the child.
The holy Prophet (peacebe
upon him and his descendants) has commanded us to protect ourselves from the milk of a prostitute and a mad woman. He (Peace be upon him and his escendants) said: "Protect your children from the milk of a prostitute and a mad woman because milk transits"
.
He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Don't breast feed from a foolish because the child grows with it"
.
Imam Mohammad Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) said: "Verily Ali as he says: Don't breast feed from a foolish because her milk over-comes the nature"
.
The doctors has emphasized that the mother should be at rest whenbreast feeding
and to touch with kindness and protection of the child. It is incumbent on the mother not to force him to focus his face towards her breast as that puts him in a state of disconcert and confusion
.
The Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) have laid down programs for the manners and period of breast feeding, that is breast feedings from both sides and prolonging its period till twenty one months.
Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) said to the mother of Ishaq daughter of Suleiman: "O' mother of Ishaq, don't breast feed with one side of the breast rather breast feeds with both breasts, one of them will serve as food while the other will serve as water"
.
He (peacebe
upon him) said: "Breast feeding is for twenty months; it is a crime to an infant if the period is reduced"
.
Long period ofbreast feeding
has positive effect on the psychological and emotional feeling of the child. It is the most important stage for the growing of the child's emotional feelings where as the mother laps her child and let him closer to her chest while the child will then feel the continuous sympathy and emotional warmness. In this respect a lady psychologist LUIZ KABILAN says: "Verily the child who is blessed with the flow of sympathy of his mother within the first and the second year of his life feels of security and don't normally feels anxiety or fear and spontaneously moves when he reaches his third or forth years. The children that feel of tranquil psychologically enjoy deal and mix simply with the child of his age grade"
.
Talking gently with the child of this stage has effect on his future emotional and linguistic development. Fatima (peacebe
upon her) talks gently with Al-hassan (peace be upon him) and says:
O'Hassan
imitate your father!
Because he extract Right from wrong!
And
worship the lord the Owner of favor!
And
don't follow the people that feel malice!
She (peacebe
upon her) also speaks gently to Al-Hussein (peace be upon him):
You resemblemy
father!
And did not resemble Ali!
.
The Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) as we've previously said do emphasize the establishment of cordiality and love between the parents and to abstain from problems that will threaten them psychologically especially the mother for the reflection of her emotion, constrictions and psychological problems on the child during the stage of breast feeding.
In thisstage
the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) have cautioned us to laid importance on the source of the mother's feeding in terms of the type and quality as the only source the child feeds from.
There is concentration again on dates to be among the food the mother feeds on because of its effects on the baby.
The Prophet (peacebe
upon him and his descendants) said: "Let the first food after a child bed be a ripe dates ...." It was said to him, O' the Prophet, what if the dates are notripe?
Hesaid:
"then seven dates from the medina dates if not, seven from your cities"
.
Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peacebe
upon him) bequeath us to eat a type of dates by name ALBARNI. He (peacebe
upon him) said: "Feed your women after their child bed with ALBARNI as your children will be prudent"
.
In a Narration fromhim
(peace be upon him): "Feed your women after their child bed with ALBARNI it beautified your children"
.
The Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) has laid down table for the substance of food that are very important for the growth and healthsoundness
.
Wheat flour grows the flesh, strengthens thebone
and makes the digestion very easy. Lentil flour pacifies the breaking out of blood and lessens high temperature of the body. Meats especially that of francolin lessen ones anger. Mashes make the body active and grant it liveliness. The olive drives the odor, dried grapes lessens anger. The quince strengthens the mind, the lettuce purifies the blood as they also emphasize on taking honey, egg, milk, and other types of fruits.
The advantages of these food substances transferred from the mother to the child through the milk that forms from it.
The summary of this discussion; it is incumbent to laid importance onbreast feeding
from the mother's milk.
If it is not possible, then it is necessary to choose a believing wet nurse that is free from physical and psychological sickness. If also it is not possible, then none believing wet nurse but with condition of preventing her from drinking wine and all other things that will affect the health of the child. Given importance to the health of the mother psychologically and physically, satisfies her needs in terms of necessary foods for generating pure and riches milkto positively reflect
that on the child's health physically and psychologically.
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Author: Ismail Abdullah
