Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

In the south of Spain, there was a small village whose people were very joyful and lucky. The

children played under the shade of trees in the gardens of their home. A shepherd boy whose name

was Nasir, stayed near the village with his father, mother and grandmother. Early morning each

day, he takes his herd of goats up the hills to find a suitable place for them to graze. In the

afternoon he would return with them to the village. At night his grandmother would tell him a

story. The story of stars. This story really interested Nasir. As usual, on one of these days, as Nasir

was watching his herd and playing his flute he suddenly saw a wonderful light behind the flower

bush. When he came towards the branches he saw a transparent and most beautiful crystal ball.

The crystal ball was glittering like a colorful rainbow. Nasir carefully took it in

his hand and turned it around. With surprise suddenly he heard a weak voice

coming from the crystal ball. It said; “You can make a wish that your heart

desires and I will fulfill it.” Nasir could not believe that he had actually heard

a voice. But he became so engrossed in his thoughts for he had so many

wishes but he must wish for something which was impossible like the wish to

be able to fly. He said to himself, if I wait till tomorrow I will remember many

things. He put the crystal ball in a bag and gathered the herd, happily returned back

to the village. He decided that he would not tell anyone about the crystal ball. On the following day

also, Nasir could not decide what to wish for, because he really had everything he needed.

The days passed as usual, and Nasir appeared to be very cheerful that the people around him were

amazed to see his cheerful disposition. One day a boy followed Nasir and his herd and hid behind

a tree. Nasir as usual sat in one corner, took out the crystal ball and for a few moments looked at it.

The boy waited for the moment when Nasir would go to sleep. Then he took the crystal ball and ran

away. When he arrived in the village, he called all the people and showed them the crystal ball.

The citizens of that village took the crystal ball in their hand and turned it around with surprise.

Suddenly they heard a voice from inside the crystal ball, which says, “I can fulfill your wish.”

One person took the ball and screamed, “I want one bag full of gold.” Another took the ball and

said loudly, “I want two chest full of jewelry.”

Some of them wished that they would have their own palace with grand door made from pure gold

instead of their old houses. Some also wished for bags full of jewelry, but nobody asked for gardens

in their palaces. All their wishes were fulfilled but still the citizens of the village were not happy.

They were jealous because the person that had a palace had no gold and the person that had the

gold had no palace. For this reason, the citizens of the village were angry and were not speaking to

each other. There was not even one garden which existed in the village where the children could

play. The patience of the children was running out and they were uncomfortable. Nasir and his

family were happy and pleased. Every morning and afternoon he would play the flute.

The children could not wait anymore and decided to return the crystal ball to Nasir. The parents

and neighbors went to him. The children said to Nasir; “When we had a small village we all were

happy and joyful.” The parent also spoke. In one way or another nobody is happy. The expensive

palaces and jewelry only bring us pain. When Nasir saw that the people were really regretful, he

said I have not wished till now, if you really want everything to return to its own place, then I will

wish for it. Everyone happily agreed. Nasir took the crystal ball in his hand turned around and

wished that the village become the same as it was before. Everyone quickly turned towards the

village and saw it became the same old village with gardens full of trees and fruits.

Once again the people started to live happily and the children played under the shade of trees.

From the next day and everyday at sunset the sound of Nasir’s flute could be heard in the village.

This story teaches us that we should be happy with whatever we have and not to be greedy.

There was a young couple who led a very happy life together. The only thing that they worried

about was, whether their happiness would last forever or would they too would have to face

problems. One day, they heard that a wise old man had come to town; he could solve all kinds of

problems and guide people. So the couple decided to visit the wise old man and tell him their

source of worry.

The wise old man told them; “Travel around the world and seek a man and a woman who are

perfectly happy as a couple. When you find such a couple, ask them for a piece of cloth from the

man’s shirt, then keep that piece of cloth with you, and you always remain happy.”

The young couple began their journey, to find the happiest couple in their world. In one place

they heard that the governor and his wife were the happiest people, so they went to their palace

and asked them, “Are you the happiest couple?”

The governor and his wife replied, “Yes, we are happy in every way except for one thing;

we do not have any children.”

Well that didn’t make the governor and his wife the happiest couple. So they continued their

journey. They arrived in one city where they had heard that the happiest couple lived.

They went to their house and asked them, “Are you the happiest couple?”

The couple replied, “Yes, we are really happy in every way except that we have too many children

which make our life a bit uncomfortable.”

No, this couple did not sound to be the happiest. And, so they continued their journey. They visited

many countries, cities, towns and villages asking the same

question but they did not find what they were looking for.

One Day the young couple came across a shepherd in the desert.

The shepherd was grazing his sheep when his wife and child

came along. The shepherd greeted his wife and gently patted

the child she was carrying. She laid the mat and started to eat

contentedly. The young couple came to them and asked them,

“Are you the happiest couple?”

The shepherd and his wife replied, “Nobody is unhappier than

the king.” The young couple immediately realized that they were

the happiest couple and asked them for a piece of the shepherd’s

shirt, so that their happiness too would last throughout.

The shepherd said, “If I give you a piece of cloth from my shirt

then I will be left without any clothes since I own just one shirt.”

The young couple at once understood that it is very difficult to

find perfect happiness anywhere in the world. The couple decided to return to their own country.

They went to the wise old man and related all that had taken place. They also complained that his

guidance was difficult to abide by.

The wise old man laughed and said, “Was your journey useless or did you learn something from it?”

The young man replied, “Yes, after this trip I have learnt that in this world, nobody is perfectly

happy, only that person is happy who does everything to please God.”

Holy Quran (2:38) says:

“And whosever follows My (Allah’s) guidance, on them shall be no fear nor shall they grieve.”

The wife said, “I have learnt that in order to be happy it is important to remember two things;

first, all human beings should be thankful and contented with whatever they have.”

Holy Quran  (14:7) says:

“And your Lord declared publicly: if you are grateful, I will add more favors unto you.”

And secondly, for ultimate happiness one must always practice patience.

Holy Quran (2:45) says: “Seek help through patient perseverance and prayers.”

After that, young couple thanked the wise old man for his guidance and returned home. The wise

man prayed for them and said, “Indeed the sign of happiness is in their heart and they have good

manners and if the lifetime is spent in pleasure of God there would be no differences in the exis-

tence of mankind.”

Holy Quran (20:123-124) says: “Whosoever follows My (Allah’s) guidance, will not loose his way or fall

into misery But whosoever turns away from My message, verily for him is a miserable life.”

Caliph Haroon Rashid desired that any one who had seen the Holy

Prophet (SAW) in his lifetime be brought before him. After some time

a very old woman was brought before the Caliph. The Caliph asked the

old woman, “Did you see the Prophet yourself?” She said, “Yes! Sir.”

The Caliph then asked her if she remembered any narration from him.

She said yes and said, “When old age comes two things become young,

one is hope and the other is greed.” The Caliph thanked her and gave her

one hundred dinars. The woman thanked Caliph and she was taken back.

Half the way some thought passed through her mind and she desired

to be brought before the Caliph once more. When she was shown in, the

Caliph asked, “Well, why have you come back?” She said. “I just came to

inquire whether the monies you gave me were once for all or is it to continue every year?”

The Caliph thought. “How true is the Prophet’s (SAW) word?” she has hope of life even now and

she has greed for money too. The Caliph said, “Don’t worry; you will be paid every year.”

She was taken back but on the way she breathed her last.

Once upon a time. There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4thwife the most and

adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her & gave her

nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rdwife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to

his friends. However, the merchant is always in fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2ndwife. She is a very considerate person, always patient & in fact is the

merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his

2ndwife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant’s 1stwife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in

maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the

merchant did not love the 1stwife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of

his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How

lonely I’ll be!” Thus, he asked the 4thwife, “I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing

and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?”

“No way!” replied the 4thwife and she walked away without another

word. Answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant’s heart.

The sad merchant then asked the 3rdwife, “I have loved you so much

for all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me

company?”

“No!” replied the 3rdwife. “Life is so good over here! I’m going to

remarry when you die!” The merchant’s heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2ndwife, “I always turned to you for help and

you’ve always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep

me company?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!” replied the 2ndwife.” “At the very most,

I can only send you to your grave.” Answer came like a bolt of thunder & merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out: “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant

looked up and there was his 1stwife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition.

Greatly grieved, the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could

have!”

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives. The 4thwife is our body. No matter how much time and

effort we lavish in making it look good, it’ll leave us when we die.

Our 3rdwife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

The 2ndwife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when

we’re alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

The 1stwife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material wealth & sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it’s a good idea to cul-

tivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we’re on our deathbed to lament.

Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him. The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it

and sat on a branch. He looked down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him.

The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was

attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and eating the

branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The branch would fall

on the ground very soon.

The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big black

snake had come & settled directly under him. Snake opened its mouth right

under the man so that he will fall into it.

The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold on to.

He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey falling from it.

The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out and tasted

one of the fallen drops of honey. The honey was amazing in taste. So, he

wanted to taste another drop. As he did, he got lost into the honey sweetness.

Meanwhile, he forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the lion on

the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him. After a while, he

woke up from his sleep.

To get the meaning behind this dream, the man went to a pious scholar of

Islam. The scholar said, the lion you saw is your death. It always chases you

and goes wherever you go.

The two rats, one black and one white, are the night and the day. Black one is the night and the

white one is the day. They circle around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take

you closer to death. The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It’s there, just waiting for

you to fall into it. The honeycomb is this world and the sweet honey is the luxuries of this world.

We like to taste a drop of the luxuries of this world but it’s very sweet. Then we taste another drop

and yet another.

Meanwhile, we get lost into it and we forget about our time,

we forget about our death and we forget about our graves.

“This world is like a serpent, so soft to touch, but so full of lethal poison. Unwise people are allured

by it and drawn towards it, and wise men avoid it and keep away from its poisonous effects.”

Imam Ali (AS)

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most

beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a

flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.

The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, “Why your heart is not nearly as

beautiful as mine.”

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly but full of

scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in but they didn’t fit

quite right and there were several jagged edges.

In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were

missing. The people starred how could he say his heart is more beautiful,

they thought?

The young man looked at the old man’s heart and saw its state and laughed.

“You must be joking,” he said. “Compare your heart with mine mine is

perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see,

every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love..... I tear out a piece of my heart and

give it to them and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my

heart but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they

remind me of the love we shared.

Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of

his heart to me. These are the empty gouges giving love is taking a chance. Although these

gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too and I

hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true

beauty is?”

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,

reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old

man with trembling hands.

The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred

heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit but not perfectly, as there were

some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love

from the old man’s heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

Physical perfection is not always beautiful.

Some time ago, there lived a King. This King should have been contented with his life, given all

the riches and luxuries he had. However, this was not the case! The King always found himself

wondering why he just never seemed content with his life.

Sure, he had the attention of everyone wherever he went, attended fancy dinners and parties,

but somehow, he still felt something was lacking and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

One day, the King had woken up earlier than usual to stroll around his palace. He entered his huge

living room and came to a stop when he heard someone happily singing away... following this

singing... he saw that one of the servants was singing and had a very contented look on his face.

This fascinated the King and he summoned this man to his chambers. The man

entered the King’s chambers as ordered. The King asked why he was so happy?

To this the man replied: “Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but I make

enough of a living to keep my wife and children happy. We don’t need too

much, a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummy. My wife and

children are my inspiration; they are content with whatever little I bring home.

I am happy because my family is happy.”

Hearing this, the King dismissed the servant and summoned his Personal Assistant to his

chambers.

The King related his personal anguish about his feelings and then related the story of the servant to

his Personal Assistant, hoping that somehow, he will be able to come up with some reasoning that

here was a King who could have anything he wished for at a snap of his fingers and yet was not

contented, whereas, his servant, having so little was extremely contented.

The Personal Assistant listened attentively and came to a conclusion. He said, “Your Majesty,

I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club.”

“The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?” the King inquired.

To which the Assistant replied, “Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, you will have to

do the following... place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant’s doorstep, you will then

understand what The 99 Club is.”

That very same evening, the King arranged for 99 Gold coins to be placed in a bag at the servant’s

doorstep. Although he was slightly hesitant and he thought he should have put 100 Gold coins into

the bag, but since his assistant had advised him to put 99 that is what he did.

The servant was just stepping out of his house when he saw a bag at his doorstep. Wondering about

its contents, he took it into his house and opened the bag. When he opened the bag, he let out a

great big shout of joy...Gold Coins... so many of them. He could hardly believe it. He called his wife

to show her the coins.

He then took the bag to a table and emptied it out and began to count the coins. Doing so,

he realized that there were 99 coins and he thought it was an odd number so he counted again, and

again and again only to come to the same conclusion... 99 Gold Coins.

He began to wonder, what could have happened to that last one coin? For no one would leave 99

coins. He began to search his entire house, looked around his backyard for hours, not wanting to

lose out on that one coin. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder

than ever to make up for that one Gold coin to make his entire collection an even 100 Gold Coins.

He got up the next morning, in an extremely horrible mood, shouting at the children and his wife

for his delay, not realizing that he had spent most of the night conjuring ways of working hard so

that he had enough money to buy himself that gold coin. He went to work as usual - but not in his

usual best mood, singing happily - as he grumpily did his daily errands.

Seeing the man’s attitude change so drastically, the King was puzzled. He promptly summoned his

assistant to his chambers. The King related his thoughts about the servant and once again, his

assistant listened. The King could not believe that the servant who until yesterday had been singing

away and was happy and content with his life had taken a sudden change of attitude, even though

he should have been happier after receiving the gold coins.

To this the assistant replied “Ah! But your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99

Club.” He explained: “The 99 Club is just a name given to those people who have everything but

yet are never contented, therefore they are always working hard and striving for that extra one to

round it out to 100!

We have so much to be thankful for and we can live with very little in our lives, but the minute we

are given something bigger and better, we want even more!

We are not the same happy contented person we used to be, we want more and more and by

wanting more and more we don’t realize the price we pay for it. We lose our sleep, our happiness;

we hurt the people around us just as a price to pay for our growing needs and desires. That is what

joining The 99 Club is all about.”

Hearing this King decided that from that day onwards, he was going to start appreciating all the

little things in life.

Striving for more is always good, but let’s not strive so hard and for so much that we loses all those

near and dear to our hearts, we shouldn’t compromise our happiness for moments of luxuries!

A person once heard a pious Muslim say that “For the last thirty years

I am repenting for a sin and I don’t know how Allah will deal with me regarding it?”

The listener asked: “What was your sin?”

The pious Muslim said: “I used to have a shop in the Bazaar. One day I heard that the

whole Bazaar was burning so I rushed to see my shop. When I reached there I saw that

except my shop all the shops were razed to the ground. I said ‘Al-Hamdo lillah’ (All praise to Allah);

but immediately I realized my mistake. How can I call myself a Muslim when I couldn’t feel the loss

of my neighbors? That is why I am repenting for that lapse on my part for the last thirty years.”

Sayyed Jawad Ameli, a great Mujtahid, was having his dinner when someone knocked at his door.

A servant from his master, Ayatullah Sayyed Mehdi Bahrul Uloom, appeared and said: “Your

master has sent for you to come immediately. He has just sat down for his dinner but refuses to

eat until he sees you.”

There was no time to lose. Sayyed Jawad Ameli left his dinner and rushed to

Ayatullah Bahrul Uloom’s residence. Just as he entered, the master looked

disapprovingly at him and said: “Sayyed Jawad! You have no fear of Allah!

Don’t you feel ashamed in front of Allah?” This came as a shock to him, as he

could not remember doing anything to incur the wrath of his master.

He said: “My master may guide me where I have failed.”

Ayatullah Bahrul Uloom replied: “It is now a week that your neighbor and his family are without

wheat and rice. He was trying to buy some dates from a shop on credit but the shopkeeper refused

to grant him any more credit. He returned home empty-handed and the family is without a morsel

of food.” Sayed Jawad was taken by surprise. “By Allah,” he said, “I have no knowledge about this.”

That is why I am displeased all the more. How can you be unaware of your own neighbor? Seven

days of difficulties have passed and you tell me you do not know about it. Well, If you had known

and ignored him despite your knowledge, then you would not even he a Muslim, Ayatullah Uloom

adjoined. Then he instructed him to take all the dishes of food before him to his neighbor. “Sit with

him to eat, so that he does not feel ashamed. And take this sum for his future ration. Place it under

his pillow or carpet so that he is not humiliated, and inform me when this work is completed, for

not until then shall I eat.” “That man is not from me who sleeps contentedly while his

neighbor sleeps hungry.” Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)

The story goes back some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for

wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated

when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless,

the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for

you, Daddy.”

The man was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared again when he found

out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, “Don’t you know, when you give someone a

present, there is supposed to be something inside?” The little girl looked up at him with tears in

her eyes and cried, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you,

Daddy.” The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her

forgiveness.

Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that

gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an

imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each one of us, as humans beings, have been given a gold container filled with

unconditional love and kisses... from our children, family members, friends, and God. There is

simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.

There was a green and fresh pasture, in which three cows lived, a white cow, a black cow and a

reddish-brown one. The cows were kind to each other. They were nice to each other. They used to

graze in the meadow together. and they used to sleep near each other.

Till it happened one day, the reddish-brown colored lion of the forest happened to pass that way.

The lion was unhappy. It was hungry, and was looking for a prey. On catching sight of the cows it

became glad, but couldn't attack them, because they were together. So, the lion sat in a corner and

waited till the cows would separate from each other.

The cows were together and wouldn’t part away from each other, because they knew that if they

were together, no predator could attack them. The lion lay in ambush nearby for two or three days.

But the cows continued to remain together, and wouldn’t separate from each other. The lion

became unhappy.

A plan occurred to it. It went towards the cows, greeted them

and said: “How are you my friends?” Are you fine? I have

been remembering you for a long time, but because I am too

busy, I can’t come to you and ask about your health.

Today I said to myself: “Anyhow I should come and see you

from near and visit you.” The reddish-brown cow said: “Sir,

your coming has really pleased us and brightened our pasture.”

The lion said: “I have always remembered you, and have even ordered a better pasture made ready

for you.” Reddish-brown cow said: “Sir, you have really obliged us and we are very thankful to you.”

Both the white and the black cows were troubled by what their friend, the reddish-brown cow said,

and were grieved at its thoughtlessness. They feared lest it should be deceived.

They said to each other: Which forest has not got a better pasture? Why does the reddish-brown

cow believe what the lion says? Doesn’t it know that lions seek other animals only to prey on them?

The reddish-brown cow became more and more a close friend of the lion each day.

The black cow and the white cow advised it as much as they could, but with no avail.

One day the lion said to the reddish-brown cow: “You know that the color of our bodies is dark

and that the color of the body of the white cow is light, and you also know that the light color is the

opposite of the dark color. It would be very good if I eat the white cow, so that there will be no

difference among us any longer and that we will be able to live together well.”

The reddish-brown cow accepted the saying of the selfish lion and started talking to the black cow

to keep it busy, so that the lion could eat the white cow with more ease. The white cow was left

alone and was killed, while the black and the reddish-brown cows were busy with idle talks.

Two or three days passed since the lion had devoured the white cow. The lion, angry and uneasy,

was lying in a corner, and the reddish-brown cow was moving around the lion and grazing. The lion

called the reddish-brown cow. The cow answered: “Yes sir!”

The lion said: “The color of my body and the color of your body are reddish-brown, and black does

not go with our color. It will be very good if I eat the black cow, so that in this forest we all will be

of the same color.” The reddish-brown cow accepted and moved away from the black cow.

The lion attacked and devoured the black cow, too. And as for the reddish-brown cow, it was so

filled with joy that it didn’t know what to do. It roamed and grazed and said to itself: “It is only

me who has the color of the lion...” A few days passed since the black cow had been devoured by

the lion. The lion roared and said. “O the reddish-brown cow! Where are you?”

The reddish-brown cow, shaking with fear, went forward and said: “Yes sir!” The lion said: “Today

it is your turn, get yourself ready, I am going to eat you.” The reddish-brown cow, with great fear &

horror said: “Why sir, I am your friend. I did whatever you said. So why do you want to eat me?”

The lion roared and said: “Friend of a friendless!” How is it possible that a lion makes friendship

with a cow? No matter how much the reddish-brown cow begged and entreated, the lion didn’t

accept its words. The lion attacked the cow.

The cow said: “Mr. Lion, please allow me to cry out three times before you eat me.” The lion said:

“Quickly, quickly!” The reddish-brown cow cried out: “I was eaten the very day the white cow was

eaten. I was eaten the very day the black cow was eaten. I was eaten the very day I made.... with

you.” The lion devoured the reddish-brown cow very quickly. Then it said to itself: “I have finished

my job in this forest. Now I had better go to other forests.” Divide and rule policy.

The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and

London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black

man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. Madam,

what is the matter, the hostess asked you obviously do not see it then?

She responded. You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such

a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat. Be calm please, the hostess replied.

Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available. The

Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. Madam, just as I thought, there are no

other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is

also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class.

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. It is not usual for our company to

permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class However, given the circumstances;

the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.

She turned to the black guy, and said. Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please take your hand

luggage because a seat awaits you in the first class. At the moment, the other passengers who were

shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

This is a true story against racism, which is not usually told. All mankind is from Adam and Eve; an

Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a

white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over white except by

piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, and that Muslims

constitute one brotherhood.

Ghulamhusein was a popular social figure and a keen host of guests coming to him from distant

lands. He lived in Moshi, a beautiful small town at the foot of Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. He was

generous and hospitable to one and all. One of his hobbies during leisure hours particularly on

Saturdays and Sundays was to play the game of cards with his friends. For hours they used to get

together where they enjoyed the game. It was not with the aim of gambling but rather just for

pleasure and pass time.

Once in the midst of a lively game of cards, his servant came to inform him that a guest of his was

seriously ill at the guest house and needed his immediate attention. He sent the servant back saying

he would come soon. But he was so much engrossed to withdraw from it. So he continued to play

with keen interest.

After a while, his servant came again to report that the condition of the guest was

deteriorating and needed his urgent attention as there was no one else to attend.

But Ghulamhusein was so deeply engrossed in the game that he did not want to be

disturbed. As such, again he sent the servant back promising to come soon.

By the time he could be free from the very mind captivating game of cards, the

servant came for the third time. But this time he reported that the guest of his a

poor traveler from distant lands had already died. This news gave a shock of his life to

Ghulamhusein. It convinced him of the evil and harmful effect of such an indoor game. There and

then he vowed never to indulge himself in such a game.

Is this not an eye-opening example of an intoxicating and mentally distracting game of cards,

commonly played today either as a pass-time or for gambling purposes? Perhaps it also explains

the philosophy behind absolute Islamic forbiddance to play or watch such a game, even without

the chance of gaining or losing money. It is meant to be prevention than a cure, lest man is one day

tempted to use the game for gambling purpose.

"Abstention from sins is better than

seeking help afterward." Imam Ali (AS)

A wise woman who was traveling in the

mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler

who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry

traveler saw the precious stone & asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him

security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” He said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that

you can give me something even more precious: Give me what you have within you that enabled

you to give me the stone.”

BANDAGE OF COMPLAINT!

Once a saint saw a man with a bandage tied round his head. “Why have you tied the bandage?” he

asked. “Because my head aches,” the man replied. “How old are you?” he demanded. “Thirty,” he

replied. “Have you been in pain and anguish the greater part of your life?” he enquired. “No,” the

man answered. “For thirty years you have enjoyed good health,” he remarked, “and you never tied

the bandage of thankfulness. Now because of this one night head ache, that you have, you tie the

bandage of complaint!”

PartTwo : The Call of Nature

Marriage as a Necessity

Marriage is a vital necessity. The survival of the species depends upon it and the survival of any organism is an intellectual necessity.Hence the world’s intelligentsia try to prevent the extinction of a particular organism.So what of humanity? The Qur'an states: 'But when he turns his back, his aim everywhere is to spread mischief in the land and to destroy crops and progeny, but Allah loves not mischief'.30

In the matter of destroyingprogeny there is no difference between active destruction and passive destruction.Qur'anic verses and prophetic traditions stress marriage as being mandatory for the common good and recommended for the individual good.

This is from one angle. From another, were it not for marriage, humanity would suffer from some extremely harmful diseases, as medical science has proven, and the avoidance of any possible harm is mandatoryboth from a religious and an intellectual point of view.From another angle again, a person to deny himself, in moderation, of the good things in life is also intellectually and religiously wrong as the story of ‘Ala shows in 'Nahj al-Balagha'.31 In a well-known case, the Prophet himself stopped a man who had vowed to abstain (from all the good things in life including marriage) by the saying ‘There is to be no monasticism in Islam’.32 It may be argued that theQur'anic verse: 'The monasticism which they innovated was not prescribed by Us for them, (We commanded them) only to seek the good pleasure of Allah'33 , contradicts this. However it should be pointed out that the rule was temporary in the face of an overflow of Jews in the world, and therefore Islam abrogated the rule. As for bringing together ‘theyinnovated it’ and ‘we did not make it incumbent upon them’, it is clear that they innovated it firstly, and then Allah ratified it.

Early Marriage

The custom of early marriageis upheld by the intellect and the religion. It was the norm amongst Muslims from the dawn of Islam up to and before the cultural, economic, and military assault by the laws of the West and East upon their lands. If this (early marriage) had not been the case, then itwould have led either to depravity, the least form of which is masturbation, or to illness as physicians have shown.

It was the custom of Muslims to marry off girls from the age of ten to fifteen or thereabouts, and boys from attaining maturity up to age eighteen. Early marriage was a vital necessity for them because of its simplicity. There was no condition of completing studies or military service. Marriage was likefood and drink and clothing to them. A certain man would need a certain woman and viceversa, and nothing would prevent them from coming together in lawful matrimony.

The West, in placing obstacles and hurdles in the way of marriage, has laid itself open to public and private licentiousness as well as various other perversions.Its own figures show that most youngsters are sexually active from age ten for girls and from reaching physical maturity for boys, with all the dangerous consequences of that such as abortion and the profusion of illegitimate children found on the streets and in the slums, as well as various sexually transmitted diseases, and adulterous acts together with marital and family infidelity and incest and suicide, the appearance of homosexuality, and the trade in buying and selling children and so on.

Knowing that Islam is the religion of human nature, it is clear that sexual purity and cleanliness necessitates that we return to the teachings of Islam in this important area of life.

It should not be argued however: Why did the Messenger of God not marry until the age of twenty-five and for that matter ‘Ali, because it can be said that one reason may be that the Prophet was poor, his family suffering great hardship as is seen in the story of the dividing up of the sons of AbuTalib . As for ‘Ali, he was at the most serious stage in facilitating mankind's transition from darkness to light. It is clear that in this state, a man sacrifices everything for the sake of his goal.

Simplicity of Dowry

The Prophet has said: 'The best of women in my community is she of the most radiant of face and the least of dowry'.37 This is common sense more than tradition, for it is the needs of the young men and women which lead them towards marriage and the dowry is no more than symbolic. There should be nothing to prevent two souls from coming together in a legal way no matter whether their conditions are poor or rich, especially as we see now certain nations making the dowry incumbent upon the man and others making it upon the woman and others still leaving it out altogether.

Islam sanctions the dowry out ofhonour and respect for the wife but it is not tobeover done , rather it stresses the simplicity of the dowry so that it is enough for the husband to teach the wife a chapter from the Qur'an or a simple craft, or even give her a plain iron ring.

Then on, it is clear that after the marriage, the two will be motivated towards working and earning, because the person who knows that he has a responsibility will run towards life as opposed to one who does not feel any responsibility.

Simplicity of dowry made for the best women of the nation according to the Prophet because it makes this vital element of life easier and quicker. ‘God wants for you ease and he does not want difficulty.’38 It is related that the Prophet said: ‘Make things easy upon yourselves and do not make things difficult.’39 Ease in anything promotes the absence of stress on the person physically and mentally.

As for the 'most radiant of face', perhaps this stems from good moralbehaviour which promotes the radiance of the face and skin.40

In this way, it was the custom amongst Muslims, before the age of Western materialism, for the dowry to be small and simple, except in a very few cases, for the ‘Umayyad and ‘Abbasid caliphs diverged from the traditions of Islam to the traditions of the Persian kings and the Caesars in every domain and especially in the matter of dowries. Because of this, the impeccable Imams used toemphasise and insist upon the dowry of thesunna - thatpractised by the Prophet.

The Parents’ House

Muslim society, before the attack of materialism, used to marry off its sons and daughters, and both parties - the parents and the children - were satisfied and content with the parents house as an abode for the newly-weds, without distinguishing between whether the house belonged to the parents of the bride or of the groom. The couple would live in one of the rooms of the house and everyone would contribute to the income,work and affairs of the household.41 Because of this, marriage was simple and easy regarding housing and furniture and assistance, and the new couple would learn from the older ones various aspects of life. Others would live in a new house whose land was free according to the law ‘the land belongs to Allah and whoever lives upon it'42 . The methods of construction were simple and humble, and there were no governmental difficulties such as taxes or planning permission or the like.

I still recall that the people at the Holy city of Karbala were almost one hundred thousand in number and upon analysis; we would not find more than four unmarried men among them. Today however, the situation is quite the opposite. Society has collaborated with the state, which lays down false laws in this respect.But wherever there is no steadfastness and noorganisation in exercising sexual capacity, it becomes distorted and perverse.

It is necessary - if we desire happiness - to re-balance society, and to return to theQur'anic verse: ' He releases them from their heavy burdens and the yokes that were upon them'.43 So that there will no longer exist any social burdens or legal fetters, and therein lies the happiness of Muslims in this world and the next.

Simplicity of Requirements

The saying of the Prophet ‘the least of them in dowry’44 includes all possessions. If the custom present in certain countries now and aswas usual among the earlier Muslims, of the couple being satisfied with their belongings before the wedding then this would doubtless be an important factor in decreasing the level of non-marriage and corruption.

My father told me that they used to live in Samarra in a single house, and when his sister got married, the gift was very humble, not exceeding a new dress, which her husband bought for her. On the night of themarriage the bride moved to the room of the groom and the matter was concluded.

I actually saw them myself. Theirs was the happiest of households and they produced fine children and grandchildren. Contentment is a treasure that never runs out, and contentment with reality, without the vain excesses and exaggerations, which usually surround things, causes mental and physical comfort.

History records the dowry of Fatima al-Zahra45 and the circumstances of her marriage. The dowry was the sum of thirtydirhams according to various versions. The furnishings of her marriage were basic in the extreme so that even the carpet of the room was of sand, as is reported. Despitethis it was the happiest of houses not only in the history of Islam but also in the history of humanity.

The messenger of God made this dowrysunna and made it the dowry of all his daughters so it came to be known as the dowry of thesunna . However, stealth and bravery are required from educationalists and in Islamic circles, and from parents so that they can do away with theseman-made laws and detrimental customs.

PartThree : The Married Couple: Conditions, Rights, and Customs

Religion and Morals

The noble Prophet hassaid: ‘If one comes to you whose religion and morals please you then marry them'46 .This criterion that the prophet has mentioned is the criterion of common sense also.Naturally the person must be able to provide for his family if the wife so needs, just as he should not be an invalid particularly with a venereal disease or that, which incapacitates him from fulfilling the sexual needs of the wife. If thebehaviour of either of the married couple is not good, the house becomes like a hell, and if one or other of them does not have a code of conduct, which keeps them from wrongdoing then the man, might even be prepared for his wife to become a prostitute. Religion and moralscan be judged from previousbehaviour , and as to whether he or she is capable of bearing children can be known from the relatives47 and from certain medical checks.

As for beauty, wealth, position, and social status and so on, they are not in the least bit essential (impossible as not everyone is beautiful and wealthy).

As for age, forif the balance of Islam in marrying every widow and widower is looked at then no fault could be found in either comparing age or neglecting to do so although it is probably better to pay attention to this element also. Hence theQur'anic reference to the People of Heaven as 'equal in age'.48

Hence we still see, even in this age, that this is the custom of many Muslims although it was more prevalent in the past when it was Islamic.

The wearing of the veil for women is also part of the religion as is restraint by men frompractising forbidden acts, particularly in this material age with its voracious appetite for lust and seduction.

Means of Subsistence

There is no doubt that being able to expend to run the household is one of the most important matters of married life. Allah states in the Qur’an: ‘If they are poor then Allah will enrich them from His bounty'.49

This is correct one hundred percent. This is because the unmarried mandoes not have the motivation to earn money in the same way that the man who feels a responsibility does. This in addition to the fact that it is a matter from the unseen world as is everything we see in this world; it has its apparent cause and its real cause which is the will of Allah.

However, despite this, a means of subsistenceshould be acquired including place of abode and other needs.Islam has laid down laws in this respect like ‘the land belongs to Allah and whoever develops it’50 , or ‘whoever attains something which no other Muslim has first attained then he has the greater right to it'.51 Therefore it is possible that a charitableorganisation could build simple homes on land with wells or the like for general water and rainwater tanks for drinking water, with an orchard for fruits and vegetables and rearing animals. Then they could be leased which would make things very simple for housing and food and also clothing which could be made from the wool of the animals reared in the house. If there were someone in thehouse who could sew or perform another task for the family then that would be enough to cover half the expenses. The other half could be obtained by work, which also promotes physical and mental health,self-satisfaction and independence from others.

So if God blesses us with manufacture and agriculture and we havewater and earth and willing hands, we will have become independent from others. As ‘Alisaid: ‘Become independent from whoever you wish and you will become his equal'.52

Equality

Islam has made the Muslim man an equal to the Muslim woman. This tenet was in effect in Islamic lands until the appearance of nationalisms and geographicalborders which were artificially created by the West to split up the Muslims and their country.These two tactics were adopted by various dictatorial rulers to assist them towards more despotism and more provinces for their sponsors who put them into power in the country on the condition that they implement their decisions, as well as the fact that this completes their deception .

I remember that the people coming to Iraq from India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Iran, from the Gulf, Syria and Lebanon used to marry amongst each other and with Iraqis and vice versa. The same was true of any land transactions even after the fall of the aforementioned rules of land and precedence.

Colonialism and its agents set out to demolish the laws of Islam and replace them with their own laws. With the same ease as marriage and selling took place, so did buying and obtaining free goods such as salt and fish and the like. The samecan be said for freedom of movement without passport, there being no geographical borders, along with all the other tenets of Islam that have been gradually eroded. Atthat time there was no barrier to any of the Islamic freedoms nor was there any tax on anything.

In any case, it is imperative that Muslims concern themselves, except in cases where theyare compelled by force of arms, with bringing back the laws of Islam in every aspect of their lives. This includes the condition of equality between the married couple as stated by Islam andhas been shown by the jurists in their explanatory books and their practical essays. Then the darknessmay be lifted gradually just as it came to our lands gradually.

Abolition of Conditions

It is imperative that allman-made conditions which have no connection with Islam are abolished from the marital agreement. Granted, if something is made a condition and it is religiously acceptable then it may be agreed upon by the two parties, but as the saying goes: the more restrictions there are on something the less frequently it occurs.

Every complication lessens the opportunity for marriage whether itbe the conditions of the groom or of the bride. It is probable that when a law imposes a condition it seeks to solve a certain problem, but problemsare increased from another perspective. Forexample a law seeking to prevent thieves from stealing by night might impose a curfew.

The basis of marriage in Islam is simplicity and keeping away fromcomplications and un-Islamic traditions and surplus formalities, which are routinely imposed. Among that which simplifies marriage is that no feeis taken for the marriage contract, as was the case in Iraq fifty years ago when the scholars who used to formulate the contracts were prevented from taking payment for discharging their services.53

There is no doubt that complexity however small and minor causes delays and in any number add up to a greater delay. Therefore if these matters were abolished along with all the otherofficialities of which there arean abundance these days, marriage would become easy and would be popular among young men and women as well as divorcees and so on.

The Couple's Happiness

The principle that 'people have dominion over their wealth and their own selves' is an important one Islamically.54 The West has progressed and flourished relative to the extent it haspractised it. Muslims have regressed whenever they have neglected and ignored it.

This principlemust be applied to the married couple. They are, together, free in the choices they make in everything that God has permitted. The onlyexception which many scholars have noted is in the rights of the virgin girl if her father or paternal grandfather are living, in which case she is subject to their opinion and requires their permission to marry. When the giving of permission is feasible and no other secondary principle applies, then her wishes should be satisfied and permission given.

Similarly, it is not at all conceivable that the young man or woman should be compelled to marry a certain person. Not only is this against the sacred law and common sense, it very often causes problems, the least of which are separation, estrangement and divorce, and in some cases can reach the level of murder and suicide as is common today.

What place is there for compulsion in the relationship of marriage the meaning of which is the intimate companionship of husband and wife by day and by night at home or abroad, and throughout all the circumstances and mental states of each party?Therefore the marriage of the two must arise out of mutual agreement and no one should have the right to force them to marry.

Idolatry of Traditions

There are certain traditions that have become so widespread as tobe now generally accepted as if they were God given laws whereas they do not in reality have any connection with Islam. They are in fact contradictory to the laws of God. The idolatry of customs and the prevalence of deviations is a majorproblem which faces almost every country. Hence, the necessity arises for visionaries and academics to undertake a courageous stand against this crippling malady and to point out its weaknesses.

These traditions at times assume a holy nature which can make the peopleall the more ready to believe them and put them into practice. It is not proper either from a religious or intellectual standpoint to pay attention to the compatibility of star signs of the husband or the wife, and although it is correct that a marriage taking place when the moon is in Scorpio will not be joyous, even this may be eliminated through supplication,Qur'anic verses or almsgiving.

There are also certain foreign customs that have reached the Islamic world which observe that the married coupleshould not be related in any way. This is not correct as can be seen in the marriage of 'Ali and Fatima and certain of the Imams and their sons. It is related that the Emissary of God looked to the children of 'Ali and those of ‘Aqueel saying 'Our daughters are for our sons and our sons are for our daughters'.55 Indeed, the habit of Muslims from the beginning of Islam was to marry between cousins on the mother's and father's side. (This isbased on the fact that Allah Almighty has condoned and encouraged cousin marriage as it is evident from the holy Qur’an, “O Prophet! Verily We have made lawful for you your wives whom you have given their dowry . and the daughters of your paternal uncle, and the daughters of your paternal aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncle, and the daughters of your maternal aunts . .” Chapter 33, verse 50.)

Whatever the case may be, Islamic standardsshould not be mixed up with Western standards.

The Rights of the Married Couple

The husband has no right over his wife other than the conjugal right, and in the matter of her exit from the house for purposes other than in fulfilling her duties56 since: 'No creature should be obeyed at the cost of disobedience to the Creator'.57 These rights are brought together in the followingQur'anic verses: 'And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable'.58

'They are your garments and ye are their garments'.59 'But men have a degree over them'.60 There is absolutely no right for the husband to transgress with regards to his wife, especially as the marriage has taken place with her consent and with her ability to make conditions and that she has certain rights over the wealth of the man if he divorces her as well as other choices which are at her discretion. She also has the right to make the condition that the man does not marry another beside her, and that she can be the agent in divorcing herself, and that hecan not divorce her - as many scholars believe - according to the report thatMansour Ibn Younis said: ' I said to Abu Al-Hasan that one of my colleagues had a wife whom he divorced so she left him.

Subsequently he wished her back but the woman said" I will never marry you until you agree not to divorce me and not to marry another besides me".So Abu Al-Hasan asked whether he did so and I said Yes. He said 'He has done ill'. Then he said 'But now,tell him that the condition should stand, for the Emissary of Allah has said, "The Muslims should stand by their personal conditions".

This was related by SheikhMurtada in Al-Makasib . Further detailed study of thehadith and pronouncements of the juristscan be found in the book of Fiqh.61

PartFour : Islam's Word on the New Born Child

The Fruit of Marriage

The goal of marriage is the maintenance of human kind so it is important that the two parents pay attention to bringing up the children after marriage or even before it, as in the saying: 'Choose well for your seed, for what is bred in the bone comes out in the flesh'. Whether itbe that the man chooses a fine mother or the woman chooses a good father, the child will take after each of them. Then comes the time for impregnation, the method for which Islam makes plain. Then the period of pregnancy and suckling where it is recommended thatit be undertaken by a beautiful woman for 'beauty delights' . After thatcomes upbringing and education and the age of studying, from kindergarten until university. Similarly, care must be taken in choosing a name for them as in the saying 'nomen est omen' and as has been proven by psychology. Hence, the Prophet of Islam used to change ugly names to good ones.

The prevalence of children born with deformities, diseases, incapacities and mental deficiencies in the Islamic world in the last half of the twentieth century is one of the unpleasant results of Western lifestyle which has overcome the Muslims with all kinds of poisons and anxieties and corrupt habits from fashions and cosmetics to foodstuffs and certain chemical medicines and so forth.

I myself do not recall, before thesecond world war , even one instance of any of these terrible occurrences in infants where we used to live in Karbala and Najaf when Iraq was living in a state of Islam. Today however, hardly a day passes without us hearing of a case or cases of abnormalities of this sort.

As for the cure, although it lies in the complete restoration to life of Islam, prevention gives a clear and effective result in reducing these diseases.

The Importance of Health

The married couple must place a great importance on hygiene because of theQur'anic verse: 'save yourselves and your families from the fire'62 , and because of thesaying of Al-Sajjad : 'Your body holds a right over you'. The human being has a responsibility for his body before Allah as well as for the deeds he has done and their effect on later generations. Illness is rife, particularly in this age where the rules of hygienehave been destroyed in food, drink, clothing, transport, and housing, together with travel from cold climates to hot climates and vice versa. Modern technology has destroyed a large part of health, while new modes of dealing with life have destroyed anotherpart, and foods and drinks a third part.

Similarly it is imperative that sexual health be maintained where an excess of intercourse and bathing is one of the most detrimental things to the health as Avicenna said: 'Stay continent (of semen) as far as you can for it is the water of life to be poured into the womb'. Likewise, a paucity of sexual intercourse has its own ills proven by medical science, so the best is to opt for moderation and the middle course.

It is also important to observe the times for intercourse63 as isfound in the major works and mentioned by physicians. This particularly during times of pregnancy when many ills can be directed to thefoetus which can result in its death, deformity or suffering from chronic disorders.

Hence we see a prevalence of physical and mental disorders in children. This stems from many causes including unhealthy parents and exposure of the child to ills. Children then are now being born at a time when exposure to diseases and problems is increasing,while mankind is responsible before Allah for his children, as is reported reliably.

Suckling

There is no doubt that the best nourishment for the child is the mother's milk as is confirmed by the religion and by medical science64 , except when an infectious disease or the like strikes the mother. One of the reasons for the prevalence of diseases in the child and in the mother is feeding something other than the mother's milk to the child. It harms the new born because his metabolism is not prepared for anything other than his mother's milk and so causes many types of illnesses as is witnessed these days. It also harms the mother because the body after childbirth prepares for breast feeding which, if it does not take place, can cause the milk to become clotted and coagulated in the breast, in addition to the dangers of non-secretion of surpluses in the body which are intended to be discharged through their proper channels.

Furthermore, the breast that does not feed tends towardssagging which can lead to a decline of its beauty which is a loss where the woman who has a partner is concerned. Beauty is beloved in religion, common sense and in customs, as in thehadith : 'God is beautiful He loves beauty'65 , and other examples. The intellect weighs up each quality of perfection and beauty is one of the parts of perfection. As for custom, it is too obvious to mention. It is recommended that the natural mother should feed the child whilst in a state of ritual purity because the milk passes to the soul and to the body as is proven in the religion and in medicine.Hence if the father is forced to feed the child by one other than the child's natural mother, then it is recommended that he choose a woman of good qualities according to the details laid out by scholars.

Upbringing and Protection

It is necessary for the parents to protect the children from deviancy in morals and values. Protecting is incumbent religiously, as in the Qur'an: 'Protect yourselves and your families from the fire'.66 In previous times, before modern methods, and before the colonialist networks had spread through Islamic lands, sons used to follow in the footsteps of their fathers except in a very few cases. In this age however, deviancy is the norm.The majority of youngsters today, despite their young ages and lack of experience, and with their deviant modes of thinking propagated by colonialist factions andorganisations , view their parents as reactionary and superstitious, whilst they themselves have been seduced by the propaganda networks and mass media in the country which promote every forbidden thing from alcohol to gambling,licence and perversion. The immature youngster by his nature and inexperience burns with vitality, activity, desire for change, and lust and is thus quickly attracted towards deviancy.

Hencearises the necessity of a thorough concern for the children from parents, relatives, and society as a whole. For without direction, harm and corruption will not only strike the children but will become general amongst their families and entire communities. The forces of Saddam in Iraq, and the Communist forces in Afghanistan and the like have cost these countries a lot of blood and tears. This is true of many of the other Islamic lands where many liveshave been sacrificed at their hands.

When we say 'protection of children', we don't simply mean advice and guidance, but as well as that we mean making them feel part of a healthy environment and preparing for them the means of obtaining work and making a living, and forging links for them with a mosque or a school or a library or a religious community centre, and marrying them when they come of age and seeking gainful employment for them.

The Bond of Kinship

Kinship has a prominent role in safeguarding society from deviance. The married couplemay not be related in any way so kinship develops through their children, among themselves and between them and the parents' relatives.

Kinship is a very important means of reaching a common understanding and of strengthening the bonds of friendship and cooperation, of solidarity and mutual regard. The parents should sow the seeds of this in their children so that they may derive benefit from itand also give benefit. For in kinship there is benefit gained and given, rights and responsibilities, give and take. The rewards in it are unfathomable.

In the Qur'an comes the words: '. . and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by whom you demand one another your rights, and to the bonds of kinship'67 .

Here the bond of kinship and guarding against breaking it are linked with piety and God-consciousness and guarding against disobeying Him.

There are many reports about this matter. The Prophet hassaid: ' The bond of kinship populates the houses and increases life spans even if the inhabitants are not good people'68 . Imam Al-Baqir hassaid: 'The bond of kinship purifies deeds and makes wealth grow. It keeps tribulations at bay and increases longevity'69 .

Imam Al-Sadiq has said: 'The bond of kinship improves the character, cleanses the hands, perfumes the soul, increasessustenance and adds to longevity'70 .

In another report from Imam Al-Sadiq comes that a man came to the prophet andsaid: 'Messenger of God, I have a family and I was their head but now they bring me pain and I wish now to disown them'.

The Prophet said 'Then God will disown you all'. The man asked 'What shall I do then? 'The prophet said 'Give to he who denies you, bond with he who cuts off from you and forgive whoever wrongs you. If you do this, God will be your backer'71 . A child disobeying and disrespecting his parents, religiouslyprohibited and intellectually detestable, is a form of breaking the bond of kinship.Similarly a father's disrespect to his children - which is also disrespect and is referred to in traditions - is also a kind of breaking this bond.

When a person isborn he is surrounded by a plethora of rules and etiquettes, as well as by universal laws and practices.Therefore a person should prepare himself to adapt in a practical way to these rules and etiquettes and to follow those laws and traditions.Otherwise he will find himself to be the first casualty because of the clash he will experience coming up against them and in many cases he may also cause harm to others besides him.

Virtues and Non-violence

Supposing that a man had a number of wives long term, or if he became awidower or his marriage was annulled or he became divorced, he should not place the status of one wife above the other, nor should he place the children of one wife over those of another. This can cause the break-up and dispersion of the family in many cases, and can sow the seeds of enmity and hatred amongst the children. In extremecases this can end up in injury, beating, murder and suicide.

The wives must also not be jealous of one another72 for this also propagates enmity and all its consequences including murder, especially if one wife has children while the other does not. These kinds of enmities and quarrels as well as being disobedience toGod which warrant punishment in the afterlife also disturb the serenity of life without good reason.

Some friends of mine who have visited parts of Asia and Africa and certain Western countries have told me that the concepts held by some Muslims of hatreds andenmities and quarrels and their consequences are generally not present there.

Human nature often calls for these things but the consequences of them is obvious if a person uses his intelligence and strengthens his faith in God and desires His reward and fears His punishment.

A good upbringing and the development of an environment of tolerance and loving and non-violence are the best way in manifold areas of life.Hence the parents should school themselves and their children in noble morals and praiseworthy virtues and non-violence in marital matters so that they may find happiness in this world and the next.

PartFive : Problems and Safeguards Towards Maintaining Harmony

The Happy Household

Married life can vary greatly from couple to couple. One couple can make their home heavenly and happy through morals and virtues, good habits and sympatheticbehaviour .

Another couple however, can be found to be the opposite of this, one or both of them being uncouth, violent and bad mannered or with bad habits whether it be smoking in the vicinity of the other person which can cause friction, or to be indiscreet and not to say anything, or by eating pungent foods like garlic, onions, and leeks. It is perhaps a familiar sight to see husbands fleeing from their homes to avoid their ill-mannered wives and vice versa when the wife occupies herself in a certain activity in order to avoid her husband.

The humanistic and Islamic view of society is that each of the married couple should respect and be aware of their partner's needs in their life andrealise that they are also a human being with emotions, feelings and sensitivities and that any ill-manneredbehaviour can cause pain and in many cases ends up in divorce and separation.

It is important that eachpartner wherever possible should overlook the slip-ups and mistakes of the other just as the prophet has ordered.

I myself once saw an ill-charactered man drive his wife to death and his second wife followed her. The person of bad characteris generally driven by hisbehaviour towards bad consequences, while good character and morals usually lead to good consequences. This is the principleinvolved which the prophet made clear.

There is no doubt that human natures vary in goodness and badness. However, the effect upon the person of education andselfdevelopment cannot be denied . A person should educate himself in good personal relationships with others, as is mentioned in the Qur'an in the verse: '. . good fellowship'73 .

Maintaining an atmosphere in the household where no one party forces the other to work in the house or for the house can make the household peaceful and happy. Compulsion though can make the house into a hell onearth which can destroy all the occupants including any children there may be.

No to Extravagance! The married couple should avoid in particular extravagance and profligacy.

The difference between the two is that the former is to do with excess where the necessity remains in principle, while the latter is expenditure that is not necessary in the least.

In the Qur'an comes an indication that the seriousness of the second type is greater in the words: 'Spendthrifts are akin to devils'74 , whereas this kind of seriousness has not been said of extravagance. In ahadith it is said 'Pouring out excess water and discarding a date is extravagance'75 .

Certain laws relating to this subjecthave been highlighted in 'The Book of Food and Drink' in 'TheEncyclopaedia of Fiqh'76 . In anotherHadith is said : 'God is merciful; to he who knows his capacity and does not transgress his limit'77 . The lively society isone which makes use even of its refuse. Regarding theQur'anic verse: 'God will revive the dead'77 , the probable meaning is that they are of no use until God revives them and they become of the living.

At times, there may be a sense of competitiveness between the partners or between two families. This causes many evils, much to the delight of Satan, including extravagance,wastage and ostentation to the level of excess.

Imam 'Ali once gave a ruling that camel meat slaughtered as a form of 'one-upmanship' between two tribal leaders was forbidden and it was left to the scavengers. Perhaps the point is that getting the message across is more important than leaving the meat for the scavengers, even though the meatwas slaughtered in a lawful manner.

In anycase it is important that the married couple co-operate together from the outset with a view to creating a family whose basis is love and affection and whose driving force is purposefulness and reality, not squandering and extravagance, false facade and idle boasting.

WorkWithin the Household

Manual work within the household is ablessing which is necessary for psychological well being and beneficial for the body because it leads to health and well being. It is then important that the married couple should concern themselves with handiwork, and that each onechoose for themselves some task or they both undertake it together. We can still remember the days when families use to work in their houses or outside in the garden or in the fields or the farmyards when people used to live a life of self-sufficiency not being in need of outsiders.

I myself remember the problems that the world experienced after World War II and the famine that struck humanityas a result of those wars. However, Iraq and certain other Islamic countries were not as affected by the famine due to their reliance upon their own produce. At that time, all needs were satisfied internally, and we did not need to import more than white sugar and some cloth. People used to make their own clothes on simple looms anddidn't need imported cloth in any great measure. Our father78 (May the mercy of God be upon him) used to tell us to take our tea with dates or molasses whenever we needed sugar. Then, the entire imports of Iraq did not exceed 30 million Dinars, as all our needswere met from within the country.

These days however, after the flood of oil wells, these imports have reached tens of billions of Dinars but look at the state of Iraq, and the state of the people. One glance at the problems, poverty and hunger which is sweeping the country is enough to confirm the reality.79

Therefore a gradual independence from outsiders must be worked towards, through for example making the house into a workstation for the married couple.

It is also important that charitableorganisations help provide opportunities for marriedcouples and facilitate and stimulate work for them.

PartTwo : The Call of Nature

Marriage as a Necessity

Marriage is a vital necessity. The survival of the species depends upon it and the survival of any organism is an intellectual necessity.Hence the world’s intelligentsia try to prevent the extinction of a particular organism.So what of humanity? The Qur'an states: 'But when he turns his back, his aim everywhere is to spread mischief in the land and to destroy crops and progeny, but Allah loves not mischief'.30

In the matter of destroyingprogeny there is no difference between active destruction and passive destruction.Qur'anic verses and prophetic traditions stress marriage as being mandatory for the common good and recommended for the individual good.

This is from one angle. From another, were it not for marriage, humanity would suffer from some extremely harmful diseases, as medical science has proven, and the avoidance of any possible harm is mandatoryboth from a religious and an intellectual point of view.From another angle again, a person to deny himself, in moderation, of the good things in life is also intellectually and religiously wrong as the story of ‘Ala shows in 'Nahj al-Balagha'.31 In a well-known case, the Prophet himself stopped a man who had vowed to abstain (from all the good things in life including marriage) by the saying ‘There is to be no monasticism in Islam’.32 It may be argued that theQur'anic verse: 'The monasticism which they innovated was not prescribed by Us for them, (We commanded them) only to seek the good pleasure of Allah'33 , contradicts this. However it should be pointed out that the rule was temporary in the face of an overflow of Jews in the world, and therefore Islam abrogated the rule. As for bringing together ‘theyinnovated it’ and ‘we did not make it incumbent upon them’, it is clear that they innovated it firstly, and then Allah ratified it.

Early Marriage

The custom of early marriageis upheld by the intellect and the religion. It was the norm amongst Muslims from the dawn of Islam up to and before the cultural, economic, and military assault by the laws of the West and East upon their lands. If this (early marriage) had not been the case, then itwould have led either to depravity, the least form of which is masturbation, or to illness as physicians have shown.

It was the custom of Muslims to marry off girls from the age of ten to fifteen or thereabouts, and boys from attaining maturity up to age eighteen. Early marriage was a vital necessity for them because of its simplicity. There was no condition of completing studies or military service. Marriage was likefood and drink and clothing to them. A certain man would need a certain woman and viceversa, and nothing would prevent them from coming together in lawful matrimony.

The West, in placing obstacles and hurdles in the way of marriage, has laid itself open to public and private licentiousness as well as various other perversions.Its own figures show that most youngsters are sexually active from age ten for girls and from reaching physical maturity for boys, with all the dangerous consequences of that such as abortion and the profusion of illegitimate children found on the streets and in the slums, as well as various sexually transmitted diseases, and adulterous acts together with marital and family infidelity and incest and suicide, the appearance of homosexuality, and the trade in buying and selling children and so on.

Knowing that Islam is the religion of human nature, it is clear that sexual purity and cleanliness necessitates that we return to the teachings of Islam in this important area of life.

It should not be argued however: Why did the Messenger of God not marry until the age of twenty-five and for that matter ‘Ali, because it can be said that one reason may be that the Prophet was poor, his family suffering great hardship as is seen in the story of the dividing up of the sons of AbuTalib . As for ‘Ali, he was at the most serious stage in facilitating mankind's transition from darkness to light. It is clear that in this state, a man sacrifices everything for the sake of his goal.

Simplicity of Dowry

The Prophet has said: 'The best of women in my community is she of the most radiant of face and the least of dowry'.37 This is common sense more than tradition, for it is the needs of the young men and women which lead them towards marriage and the dowry is no more than symbolic. There should be nothing to prevent two souls from coming together in a legal way no matter whether their conditions are poor or rich, especially as we see now certain nations making the dowry incumbent upon the man and others making it upon the woman and others still leaving it out altogether.

Islam sanctions the dowry out ofhonour and respect for the wife but it is not tobeover done , rather it stresses the simplicity of the dowry so that it is enough for the husband to teach the wife a chapter from the Qur'an or a simple craft, or even give her a plain iron ring.

Then on, it is clear that after the marriage, the two will be motivated towards working and earning, because the person who knows that he has a responsibility will run towards life as opposed to one who does not feel any responsibility.

Simplicity of dowry made for the best women of the nation according to the Prophet because it makes this vital element of life easier and quicker. ‘God wants for you ease and he does not want difficulty.’38 It is related that the Prophet said: ‘Make things easy upon yourselves and do not make things difficult.’39 Ease in anything promotes the absence of stress on the person physically and mentally.

As for the 'most radiant of face', perhaps this stems from good moralbehaviour which promotes the radiance of the face and skin.40

In this way, it was the custom amongst Muslims, before the age of Western materialism, for the dowry to be small and simple, except in a very few cases, for the ‘Umayyad and ‘Abbasid caliphs diverged from the traditions of Islam to the traditions of the Persian kings and the Caesars in every domain and especially in the matter of dowries. Because of this, the impeccable Imams used toemphasise and insist upon the dowry of thesunna - thatpractised by the Prophet.

The Parents’ House

Muslim society, before the attack of materialism, used to marry off its sons and daughters, and both parties - the parents and the children - were satisfied and content with the parents house as an abode for the newly-weds, without distinguishing between whether the house belonged to the parents of the bride or of the groom. The couple would live in one of the rooms of the house and everyone would contribute to the income,work and affairs of the household.41 Because of this, marriage was simple and easy regarding housing and furniture and assistance, and the new couple would learn from the older ones various aspects of life. Others would live in a new house whose land was free according to the law ‘the land belongs to Allah and whoever lives upon it'42 . The methods of construction were simple and humble, and there were no governmental difficulties such as taxes or planning permission or the like.

I still recall that the people at the Holy city of Karbala were almost one hundred thousand in number and upon analysis; we would not find more than four unmarried men among them. Today however, the situation is quite the opposite. Society has collaborated with the state, which lays down false laws in this respect.But wherever there is no steadfastness and noorganisation in exercising sexual capacity, it becomes distorted and perverse.

It is necessary - if we desire happiness - to re-balance society, and to return to theQur'anic verse: ' He releases them from their heavy burdens and the yokes that were upon them'.43 So that there will no longer exist any social burdens or legal fetters, and therein lies the happiness of Muslims in this world and the next.

Simplicity of Requirements

The saying of the Prophet ‘the least of them in dowry’44 includes all possessions. If the custom present in certain countries now and aswas usual among the earlier Muslims, of the couple being satisfied with their belongings before the wedding then this would doubtless be an important factor in decreasing the level of non-marriage and corruption.

My father told me that they used to live in Samarra in a single house, and when his sister got married, the gift was very humble, not exceeding a new dress, which her husband bought for her. On the night of themarriage the bride moved to the room of the groom and the matter was concluded.

I actually saw them myself. Theirs was the happiest of households and they produced fine children and grandchildren. Contentment is a treasure that never runs out, and contentment with reality, without the vain excesses and exaggerations, which usually surround things, causes mental and physical comfort.

History records the dowry of Fatima al-Zahra45 and the circumstances of her marriage. The dowry was the sum of thirtydirhams according to various versions. The furnishings of her marriage were basic in the extreme so that even the carpet of the room was of sand, as is reported. Despitethis it was the happiest of houses not only in the history of Islam but also in the history of humanity.

The messenger of God made this dowrysunna and made it the dowry of all his daughters so it came to be known as the dowry of thesunna . However, stealth and bravery are required from educationalists and in Islamic circles, and from parents so that they can do away with theseman-made laws and detrimental customs.

PartThree : The Married Couple: Conditions, Rights, and Customs

Religion and Morals

The noble Prophet hassaid: ‘If one comes to you whose religion and morals please you then marry them'46 .This criterion that the prophet has mentioned is the criterion of common sense also.Naturally the person must be able to provide for his family if the wife so needs, just as he should not be an invalid particularly with a venereal disease or that, which incapacitates him from fulfilling the sexual needs of the wife. If thebehaviour of either of the married couple is not good, the house becomes like a hell, and if one or other of them does not have a code of conduct, which keeps them from wrongdoing then the man, might even be prepared for his wife to become a prostitute. Religion and moralscan be judged from previousbehaviour , and as to whether he or she is capable of bearing children can be known from the relatives47 and from certain medical checks.

As for beauty, wealth, position, and social status and so on, they are not in the least bit essential (impossible as not everyone is beautiful and wealthy).

As for age, forif the balance of Islam in marrying every widow and widower is looked at then no fault could be found in either comparing age or neglecting to do so although it is probably better to pay attention to this element also. Hence theQur'anic reference to the People of Heaven as 'equal in age'.48

Hence we still see, even in this age, that this is the custom of many Muslims although it was more prevalent in the past when it was Islamic.

The wearing of the veil for women is also part of the religion as is restraint by men frompractising forbidden acts, particularly in this material age with its voracious appetite for lust and seduction.

Means of Subsistence

There is no doubt that being able to expend to run the household is one of the most important matters of married life. Allah states in the Qur’an: ‘If they are poor then Allah will enrich them from His bounty'.49

This is correct one hundred percent. This is because the unmarried mandoes not have the motivation to earn money in the same way that the man who feels a responsibility does. This in addition to the fact that it is a matter from the unseen world as is everything we see in this world; it has its apparent cause and its real cause which is the will of Allah.

However, despite this, a means of subsistenceshould be acquired including place of abode and other needs.Islam has laid down laws in this respect like ‘the land belongs to Allah and whoever develops it’50 , or ‘whoever attains something which no other Muslim has first attained then he has the greater right to it'.51 Therefore it is possible that a charitableorganisation could build simple homes on land with wells or the like for general water and rainwater tanks for drinking water, with an orchard for fruits and vegetables and rearing animals. Then they could be leased which would make things very simple for housing and food and also clothing which could be made from the wool of the animals reared in the house. If there were someone in thehouse who could sew or perform another task for the family then that would be enough to cover half the expenses. The other half could be obtained by work, which also promotes physical and mental health,self-satisfaction and independence from others.

So if God blesses us with manufacture and agriculture and we havewater and earth and willing hands, we will have become independent from others. As ‘Alisaid: ‘Become independent from whoever you wish and you will become his equal'.52

Equality

Islam has made the Muslim man an equal to the Muslim woman. This tenet was in effect in Islamic lands until the appearance of nationalisms and geographicalborders which were artificially created by the West to split up the Muslims and their country.These two tactics were adopted by various dictatorial rulers to assist them towards more despotism and more provinces for their sponsors who put them into power in the country on the condition that they implement their decisions, as well as the fact that this completes their deception .

I remember that the people coming to Iraq from India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Iran, from the Gulf, Syria and Lebanon used to marry amongst each other and with Iraqis and vice versa. The same was true of any land transactions even after the fall of the aforementioned rules of land and precedence.

Colonialism and its agents set out to demolish the laws of Islam and replace them with their own laws. With the same ease as marriage and selling took place, so did buying and obtaining free goods such as salt and fish and the like. The samecan be said for freedom of movement without passport, there being no geographical borders, along with all the other tenets of Islam that have been gradually eroded. Atthat time there was no barrier to any of the Islamic freedoms nor was there any tax on anything.

In any case, it is imperative that Muslims concern themselves, except in cases where theyare compelled by force of arms, with bringing back the laws of Islam in every aspect of their lives. This includes the condition of equality between the married couple as stated by Islam andhas been shown by the jurists in their explanatory books and their practical essays. Then the darknessmay be lifted gradually just as it came to our lands gradually.

Abolition of Conditions

It is imperative that allman-made conditions which have no connection with Islam are abolished from the marital agreement. Granted, if something is made a condition and it is religiously acceptable then it may be agreed upon by the two parties, but as the saying goes: the more restrictions there are on something the less frequently it occurs.

Every complication lessens the opportunity for marriage whether itbe the conditions of the groom or of the bride. It is probable that when a law imposes a condition it seeks to solve a certain problem, but problemsare increased from another perspective. Forexample a law seeking to prevent thieves from stealing by night might impose a curfew.

The basis of marriage in Islam is simplicity and keeping away fromcomplications and un-Islamic traditions and surplus formalities, which are routinely imposed. Among that which simplifies marriage is that no feeis taken for the marriage contract, as was the case in Iraq fifty years ago when the scholars who used to formulate the contracts were prevented from taking payment for discharging their services.53

There is no doubt that complexity however small and minor causes delays and in any number add up to a greater delay. Therefore if these matters were abolished along with all the otherofficialities of which there arean abundance these days, marriage would become easy and would be popular among young men and women as well as divorcees and so on.

The Couple's Happiness

The principle that 'people have dominion over their wealth and their own selves' is an important one Islamically.54 The West has progressed and flourished relative to the extent it haspractised it. Muslims have regressed whenever they have neglected and ignored it.

This principlemust be applied to the married couple. They are, together, free in the choices they make in everything that God has permitted. The onlyexception which many scholars have noted is in the rights of the virgin girl if her father or paternal grandfather are living, in which case she is subject to their opinion and requires their permission to marry. When the giving of permission is feasible and no other secondary principle applies, then her wishes should be satisfied and permission given.

Similarly, it is not at all conceivable that the young man or woman should be compelled to marry a certain person. Not only is this against the sacred law and common sense, it very often causes problems, the least of which are separation, estrangement and divorce, and in some cases can reach the level of murder and suicide as is common today.

What place is there for compulsion in the relationship of marriage the meaning of which is the intimate companionship of husband and wife by day and by night at home or abroad, and throughout all the circumstances and mental states of each party?Therefore the marriage of the two must arise out of mutual agreement and no one should have the right to force them to marry.

Idolatry of Traditions

There are certain traditions that have become so widespread as tobe now generally accepted as if they were God given laws whereas they do not in reality have any connection with Islam. They are in fact contradictory to the laws of God. The idolatry of customs and the prevalence of deviations is a majorproblem which faces almost every country. Hence, the necessity arises for visionaries and academics to undertake a courageous stand against this crippling malady and to point out its weaknesses.

These traditions at times assume a holy nature which can make the peopleall the more ready to believe them and put them into practice. It is not proper either from a religious or intellectual standpoint to pay attention to the compatibility of star signs of the husband or the wife, and although it is correct that a marriage taking place when the moon is in Scorpio will not be joyous, even this may be eliminated through supplication,Qur'anic verses or almsgiving.

There are also certain foreign customs that have reached the Islamic world which observe that the married coupleshould not be related in any way. This is not correct as can be seen in the marriage of 'Ali and Fatima and certain of the Imams and their sons. It is related that the Emissary of God looked to the children of 'Ali and those of ‘Aqueel saying 'Our daughters are for our sons and our sons are for our daughters'.55 Indeed, the habit of Muslims from the beginning of Islam was to marry between cousins on the mother's and father's side. (This isbased on the fact that Allah Almighty has condoned and encouraged cousin marriage as it is evident from the holy Qur’an, “O Prophet! Verily We have made lawful for you your wives whom you have given their dowry . and the daughters of your paternal uncle, and the daughters of your paternal aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncle, and the daughters of your maternal aunts . .” Chapter 33, verse 50.)

Whatever the case may be, Islamic standardsshould not be mixed up with Western standards.

The Rights of the Married Couple

The husband has no right over his wife other than the conjugal right, and in the matter of her exit from the house for purposes other than in fulfilling her duties56 since: 'No creature should be obeyed at the cost of disobedience to the Creator'.57 These rights are brought together in the followingQur'anic verses: 'And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable'.58

'They are your garments and ye are their garments'.59 'But men have a degree over them'.60 There is absolutely no right for the husband to transgress with regards to his wife, especially as the marriage has taken place with her consent and with her ability to make conditions and that she has certain rights over the wealth of the man if he divorces her as well as other choices which are at her discretion. She also has the right to make the condition that the man does not marry another beside her, and that she can be the agent in divorcing herself, and that hecan not divorce her - as many scholars believe - according to the report thatMansour Ibn Younis said: ' I said to Abu Al-Hasan that one of my colleagues had a wife whom he divorced so she left him.

Subsequently he wished her back but the woman said" I will never marry you until you agree not to divorce me and not to marry another besides me".So Abu Al-Hasan asked whether he did so and I said Yes. He said 'He has done ill'. Then he said 'But now,tell him that the condition should stand, for the Emissary of Allah has said, "The Muslims should stand by their personal conditions".

This was related by SheikhMurtada in Al-Makasib . Further detailed study of thehadith and pronouncements of the juristscan be found in the book of Fiqh.61

PartFour : Islam's Word on the New Born Child

The Fruit of Marriage

The goal of marriage is the maintenance of human kind so it is important that the two parents pay attention to bringing up the children after marriage or even before it, as in the saying: 'Choose well for your seed, for what is bred in the bone comes out in the flesh'. Whether itbe that the man chooses a fine mother or the woman chooses a good father, the child will take after each of them. Then comes the time for impregnation, the method for which Islam makes plain. Then the period of pregnancy and suckling where it is recommended thatit be undertaken by a beautiful woman for 'beauty delights' . After thatcomes upbringing and education and the age of studying, from kindergarten until university. Similarly, care must be taken in choosing a name for them as in the saying 'nomen est omen' and as has been proven by psychology. Hence, the Prophet of Islam used to change ugly names to good ones.

The prevalence of children born with deformities, diseases, incapacities and mental deficiencies in the Islamic world in the last half of the twentieth century is one of the unpleasant results of Western lifestyle which has overcome the Muslims with all kinds of poisons and anxieties and corrupt habits from fashions and cosmetics to foodstuffs and certain chemical medicines and so forth.

I myself do not recall, before thesecond world war , even one instance of any of these terrible occurrences in infants where we used to live in Karbala and Najaf when Iraq was living in a state of Islam. Today however, hardly a day passes without us hearing of a case or cases of abnormalities of this sort.

As for the cure, although it lies in the complete restoration to life of Islam, prevention gives a clear and effective result in reducing these diseases.

The Importance of Health

The married couple must place a great importance on hygiene because of theQur'anic verse: 'save yourselves and your families from the fire'62 , and because of thesaying of Al-Sajjad : 'Your body holds a right over you'. The human being has a responsibility for his body before Allah as well as for the deeds he has done and their effect on later generations. Illness is rife, particularly in this age where the rules of hygienehave been destroyed in food, drink, clothing, transport, and housing, together with travel from cold climates to hot climates and vice versa. Modern technology has destroyed a large part of health, while new modes of dealing with life have destroyed anotherpart, and foods and drinks a third part.

Similarly it is imperative that sexual health be maintained where an excess of intercourse and bathing is one of the most detrimental things to the health as Avicenna said: 'Stay continent (of semen) as far as you can for it is the water of life to be poured into the womb'. Likewise, a paucity of sexual intercourse has its own ills proven by medical science, so the best is to opt for moderation and the middle course.

It is also important to observe the times for intercourse63 as isfound in the major works and mentioned by physicians. This particularly during times of pregnancy when many ills can be directed to thefoetus which can result in its death, deformity or suffering from chronic disorders.

Hence we see a prevalence of physical and mental disorders in children. This stems from many causes including unhealthy parents and exposure of the child to ills. Children then are now being born at a time when exposure to diseases and problems is increasing,while mankind is responsible before Allah for his children, as is reported reliably.

Suckling

There is no doubt that the best nourishment for the child is the mother's milk as is confirmed by the religion and by medical science64 , except when an infectious disease or the like strikes the mother. One of the reasons for the prevalence of diseases in the child and in the mother is feeding something other than the mother's milk to the child. It harms the new born because his metabolism is not prepared for anything other than his mother's milk and so causes many types of illnesses as is witnessed these days. It also harms the mother because the body after childbirth prepares for breast feeding which, if it does not take place, can cause the milk to become clotted and coagulated in the breast, in addition to the dangers of non-secretion of surpluses in the body which are intended to be discharged through their proper channels.

Furthermore, the breast that does not feed tends towardssagging which can lead to a decline of its beauty which is a loss where the woman who has a partner is concerned. Beauty is beloved in religion, common sense and in customs, as in thehadith : 'God is beautiful He loves beauty'65 , and other examples. The intellect weighs up each quality of perfection and beauty is one of the parts of perfection. As for custom, it is too obvious to mention. It is recommended that the natural mother should feed the child whilst in a state of ritual purity because the milk passes to the soul and to the body as is proven in the religion and in medicine.Hence if the father is forced to feed the child by one other than the child's natural mother, then it is recommended that he choose a woman of good qualities according to the details laid out by scholars.

Upbringing and Protection

It is necessary for the parents to protect the children from deviancy in morals and values. Protecting is incumbent religiously, as in the Qur'an: 'Protect yourselves and your families from the fire'.66 In previous times, before modern methods, and before the colonialist networks had spread through Islamic lands, sons used to follow in the footsteps of their fathers except in a very few cases. In this age however, deviancy is the norm.The majority of youngsters today, despite their young ages and lack of experience, and with their deviant modes of thinking propagated by colonialist factions andorganisations , view their parents as reactionary and superstitious, whilst they themselves have been seduced by the propaganda networks and mass media in the country which promote every forbidden thing from alcohol to gambling,licence and perversion. The immature youngster by his nature and inexperience burns with vitality, activity, desire for change, and lust and is thus quickly attracted towards deviancy.

Hencearises the necessity of a thorough concern for the children from parents, relatives, and society as a whole. For without direction, harm and corruption will not only strike the children but will become general amongst their families and entire communities. The forces of Saddam in Iraq, and the Communist forces in Afghanistan and the like have cost these countries a lot of blood and tears. This is true of many of the other Islamic lands where many liveshave been sacrificed at their hands.

When we say 'protection of children', we don't simply mean advice and guidance, but as well as that we mean making them feel part of a healthy environment and preparing for them the means of obtaining work and making a living, and forging links for them with a mosque or a school or a library or a religious community centre, and marrying them when they come of age and seeking gainful employment for them.

The Bond of Kinship

Kinship has a prominent role in safeguarding society from deviance. The married couplemay not be related in any way so kinship develops through their children, among themselves and between them and the parents' relatives.

Kinship is a very important means of reaching a common understanding and of strengthening the bonds of friendship and cooperation, of solidarity and mutual regard. The parents should sow the seeds of this in their children so that they may derive benefit from itand also give benefit. For in kinship there is benefit gained and given, rights and responsibilities, give and take. The rewards in it are unfathomable.

In the Qur'an comes the words: '. . and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by whom you demand one another your rights, and to the bonds of kinship'67 .

Here the bond of kinship and guarding against breaking it are linked with piety and God-consciousness and guarding against disobeying Him.

There are many reports about this matter. The Prophet hassaid: ' The bond of kinship populates the houses and increases life spans even if the inhabitants are not good people'68 . Imam Al-Baqir hassaid: 'The bond of kinship purifies deeds and makes wealth grow. It keeps tribulations at bay and increases longevity'69 .

Imam Al-Sadiq has said: 'The bond of kinship improves the character, cleanses the hands, perfumes the soul, increasessustenance and adds to longevity'70 .

In another report from Imam Al-Sadiq comes that a man came to the prophet andsaid: 'Messenger of God, I have a family and I was their head but now they bring me pain and I wish now to disown them'.

The Prophet said 'Then God will disown you all'. The man asked 'What shall I do then? 'The prophet said 'Give to he who denies you, bond with he who cuts off from you and forgive whoever wrongs you. If you do this, God will be your backer'71 . A child disobeying and disrespecting his parents, religiouslyprohibited and intellectually detestable, is a form of breaking the bond of kinship.Similarly a father's disrespect to his children - which is also disrespect and is referred to in traditions - is also a kind of breaking this bond.

When a person isborn he is surrounded by a plethora of rules and etiquettes, as well as by universal laws and practices.Therefore a person should prepare himself to adapt in a practical way to these rules and etiquettes and to follow those laws and traditions.Otherwise he will find himself to be the first casualty because of the clash he will experience coming up against them and in many cases he may also cause harm to others besides him.

Virtues and Non-violence

Supposing that a man had a number of wives long term, or if he became awidower or his marriage was annulled or he became divorced, he should not place the status of one wife above the other, nor should he place the children of one wife over those of another. This can cause the break-up and dispersion of the family in many cases, and can sow the seeds of enmity and hatred amongst the children. In extremecases this can end up in injury, beating, murder and suicide.

The wives must also not be jealous of one another72 for this also propagates enmity and all its consequences including murder, especially if one wife has children while the other does not. These kinds of enmities and quarrels as well as being disobedience toGod which warrant punishment in the afterlife also disturb the serenity of life without good reason.

Some friends of mine who have visited parts of Asia and Africa and certain Western countries have told me that the concepts held by some Muslims of hatreds andenmities and quarrels and their consequences are generally not present there.

Human nature often calls for these things but the consequences of them is obvious if a person uses his intelligence and strengthens his faith in God and desires His reward and fears His punishment.

A good upbringing and the development of an environment of tolerance and loving and non-violence are the best way in manifold areas of life.Hence the parents should school themselves and their children in noble morals and praiseworthy virtues and non-violence in marital matters so that they may find happiness in this world and the next.

PartFive : Problems and Safeguards Towards Maintaining Harmony

The Happy Household

Married life can vary greatly from couple to couple. One couple can make their home heavenly and happy through morals and virtues, good habits and sympatheticbehaviour .

Another couple however, can be found to be the opposite of this, one or both of them being uncouth, violent and bad mannered or with bad habits whether it be smoking in the vicinity of the other person which can cause friction, or to be indiscreet and not to say anything, or by eating pungent foods like garlic, onions, and leeks. It is perhaps a familiar sight to see husbands fleeing from their homes to avoid their ill-mannered wives and vice versa when the wife occupies herself in a certain activity in order to avoid her husband.

The humanistic and Islamic view of society is that each of the married couple should respect and be aware of their partner's needs in their life andrealise that they are also a human being with emotions, feelings and sensitivities and that any ill-manneredbehaviour can cause pain and in many cases ends up in divorce and separation.

It is important that eachpartner wherever possible should overlook the slip-ups and mistakes of the other just as the prophet has ordered.

I myself once saw an ill-charactered man drive his wife to death and his second wife followed her. The person of bad characteris generally driven by hisbehaviour towards bad consequences, while good character and morals usually lead to good consequences. This is the principleinvolved which the prophet made clear.

There is no doubt that human natures vary in goodness and badness. However, the effect upon the person of education andselfdevelopment cannot be denied . A person should educate himself in good personal relationships with others, as is mentioned in the Qur'an in the verse: '. . good fellowship'73 .

Maintaining an atmosphere in the household where no one party forces the other to work in the house or for the house can make the household peaceful and happy. Compulsion though can make the house into a hell onearth which can destroy all the occupants including any children there may be.

No to Extravagance! The married couple should avoid in particular extravagance and profligacy.

The difference between the two is that the former is to do with excess where the necessity remains in principle, while the latter is expenditure that is not necessary in the least.

In the Qur'an comes an indication that the seriousness of the second type is greater in the words: 'Spendthrifts are akin to devils'74 , whereas this kind of seriousness has not been said of extravagance. In ahadith it is said 'Pouring out excess water and discarding a date is extravagance'75 .

Certain laws relating to this subjecthave been highlighted in 'The Book of Food and Drink' in 'TheEncyclopaedia of Fiqh'76 . In anotherHadith is said : 'God is merciful; to he who knows his capacity and does not transgress his limit'77 . The lively society isone which makes use even of its refuse. Regarding theQur'anic verse: 'God will revive the dead'77 , the probable meaning is that they are of no use until God revives them and they become of the living.

At times, there may be a sense of competitiveness between the partners or between two families. This causes many evils, much to the delight of Satan, including extravagance,wastage and ostentation to the level of excess.

Imam 'Ali once gave a ruling that camel meat slaughtered as a form of 'one-upmanship' between two tribal leaders was forbidden and it was left to the scavengers. Perhaps the point is that getting the message across is more important than leaving the meat for the scavengers, even though the meatwas slaughtered in a lawful manner.

In anycase it is important that the married couple co-operate together from the outset with a view to creating a family whose basis is love and affection and whose driving force is purposefulness and reality, not squandering and extravagance, false facade and idle boasting.

WorkWithin the Household

Manual work within the household is ablessing which is necessary for psychological well being and beneficial for the body because it leads to health and well being. It is then important that the married couple should concern themselves with handiwork, and that each onechoose for themselves some task or they both undertake it together. We can still remember the days when families use to work in their houses or outside in the garden or in the fields or the farmyards when people used to live a life of self-sufficiency not being in need of outsiders.

I myself remember the problems that the world experienced after World War II and the famine that struck humanityas a result of those wars. However, Iraq and certain other Islamic countries were not as affected by the famine due to their reliance upon their own produce. At that time, all needs were satisfied internally, and we did not need to import more than white sugar and some cloth. People used to make their own clothes on simple looms anddidn't need imported cloth in any great measure. Our father78 (May the mercy of God be upon him) used to tell us to take our tea with dates or molasses whenever we needed sugar. Then, the entire imports of Iraq did not exceed 30 million Dinars, as all our needswere met from within the country.

These days however, after the flood of oil wells, these imports have reached tens of billions of Dinars but look at the state of Iraq, and the state of the people. One glance at the problems, poverty and hunger which is sweeping the country is enough to confirm the reality.79

Therefore a gradual independence from outsiders must be worked towards, through for example making the house into a workstation for the married couple.

It is also important that charitableorganisations help provide opportunities for marriedcouples and facilitate and stimulate work for them.