What is the role of married life and that of housekeeping from His Holiness Ali’s (P) point of view?
The importance of man and woman’s role in family life is considered one of the ambiguous subjects at present. What is the role of married life and that of housekeeping from His Holiness Ali’s (P) point of view?
In Imam Ali’s (P) opinion, the issue of Holy War (jihad) is the most important feature of women’s role, which is at the same level as that of men’s. In Islamic culture, jihad is the highest degree of readiness and receptivity of the personality of a Muslim. However, according to this statement of Imam Ali (P), jihad is not specified only to men but to the woman, too. She has her own jihad and can perform a role of the same level as men’s jihad. Without doubt, the ground for activating this role has roots inside the family. Imam Ali’s (P) states:
جهاد المراة حسن التبعل
“A woman’s jihad (as a wife) is having good behavior towards the husband
”.
This message is related only to the relation of woman with her husband however, woman’s relation is not limited only to her husband but inside the family she has relations with the children and relatives too. Nevertheless, the value and status of woman’s good conduct and treatment towards her husband is similar to her presence in the battlefield for jihad.
In general, other roles of woman are related to the affairs of everyday life. With this statement, one comes to think that such obedience might result in the erosion of woman’s personality and instilling within her passivity and indiscriminate submission to the husband but the meaning of having good attitude and treatment towards the husband and the evidences of good conduct can be found in Her Eminence Zahra’s (P) remarks and testament on His Holiness Ali (P), the testament which is in fact an explanation of “good treatment”. Her Eminence Zahra (P) tells her husband:
«يابن عمّ ماعهدتني كاذبة ولا خائنة و لا خالفتك منذ عاشرتني»
“O cousin, have you observed any lie, treachery or opposition from my part, during our marital life? I mean, during our marital life, can you mention the time when I have told a lie, an instance of disloyalty or a remark which I have expressed opposition
?”
This remark indicates that good conduct of a woman revolves around the three following pivots:
1. Shows honesty in her behavior and speech towards her husband and never tells a lie.
2. Shows loyalty with regards to property, chastity and reputation and faithfulness and demonstrates her sincerity and loyalty regarding property and chastity.
3. Never makes life bitter for her and her husband with opposition and discord of any kind.
Remarkably, His Holiness Ali (P) following the enumeration of these three pivots, states:
معاذ الله!
فقال (ع): معاذالله انت اعلم و ابرّ و اتقي و اكرم و اشد خوفاً من الله ان او بخك بمخالفتي.
"I seek refuge in Allah. O, my wife you are of a higher position to tell such words, you are more knowledgeable, more righteous, pious and magnanimous in relation to the divine obligations and your fear of God is to an extent that prevents you from having such deficiencies in your personality
."
Comparing the two sides of this narration, one can find out that a person can tell no lie, commit no treachery and wrongdoing if he/she is cognizant of God, in other words, has awareness of divine rules and religion, possess conviction with regards to God and His religion. Such a personality is concerned of God’s Justice and Fairness regarding piety and behavioral control.
His Holiness Ali (P) in reply to the question, “What is your experience during the 9 years of living with Her Eminence Zahra (P)?” states:
و الله لا اغضبتني اذلتني و لا عصت لي امراً
"She never makes me angry and never disobeys my command at all."
Her Eminence Zahra (P) had such knowledge of the personality of His Holiness Ali (P) that he had devoted her life to the stability of his guardianship though it may seem that she had devoted her life to her husband. Of course, there might be two spouses, who being as one with each other, sincerely offer whatever they have to each other but Her Eminence Fatimah (P) not only did this but also was concerned of the strengthening of His Holiness Ali’s guardianship.
What we want to present here is a real illustration of the pure Imams’ (P) statements, we must not judge according to our own interests. If there are some points raised regarding woman’s personality, there are some points mentioned regarding men, too. Any obligation and commandment in Islam first of all, is addressed to His Holiness Ali (P) and Her Eminence Fatimah (P). In some instances, the obligations assigned to them may be more burdensome than that assigned to other people. It was so for the Holy Prophet (P) when the verse was revealed:
«من الليل فتهجد نافلة لك»
"At night, wake up and pray during it as an extra bonus for yourself."
The Holy Prophet (P) was the first one who must do the very Divine Commandment for he is considered an example and role model. In view of that, His Holiness Ali (P) describing infallibility as one of his own attributes states:
انكم لا تقدرون علي ذلك ولكن اعينوني بورع
“You can never be like me, however, assist me through piety”.
Some claim that they are Imams and have specific knowledge and others state that the concept of a woman as presented in Imam Ali’s remarks is too idealistic and it may be unachievable in real life however, it must be taken
into consideration that they are witnesses of God, they are examples and proofs who will testify in the Hereafter. Unfortunately, in discussing woman’s personality it is said that woman should be like this and like that, she should not disobey and so on failing to see the other side of the coin. There are some people who relate to obligations of the spouse according to their own interests, rationalizing the rules of Islam to their own advantage.
The management inside the family and responsible supervision over the internal affairs of the family is another clear and distinct role of a Muslim woman. The Chief of the Faithful, Ali (P), quoting from the Holy Prophet (P) states: "One of the points of
كلكم راع و كلكم مسئول عن رعيته
“All of you should be a shepherd towards your flock.”
Refers to the woman’s role and responsibility initiated inside the family. His Holiness states in this regard:
والمراة راعية علي بيت زوجها و هي مسئوله
“The woman is the supervisor and the one responsible inside the house, in the family and in relation with her husband.”
Therefore, the supervision over the sphere of the family assigned to the spouse (wife) is considered one of the clear and obvious proofs of general supervision. Through this supervision, tensions inside the family will fade away and the ground for a sound life will be paved as well.
The ideal personality for a Muslim woman from Imam Ali’s (P) point of view is different from the concept of a woman's personality of a woman at present. What are the virtues of a woman’s personality from the Islamic point of view?
In His Holiness Ali’s (P) words, the best elements of a Muslim woman’s personality which are considered at the same time the worst for men, are as follows:
خيار خصال النساء شرار خصال الرجال، الزهو و الجبن و البخل، فاذا كانت المرأة مزهوةً لم تمكن من نفسها و اذا كانت بخيله حفظت مالها و مال بعلها و اذا كانت جبانة فرقت من كل شيئ يعرض لها.
(زهو
) (Zahv means inviolability that is a woman must be inviolable in her social activities and her sense of pride should be dominant over her predisposition
.)
If a woman were inviolable, she would never allow a stranger to have authority over herself and if woman were niggardly, she would take care of the economy of the family and if a woman were timid she would never be involved with things that would be a threat to her chastity. However, in the field of education and training it is said that a person should be extrovert, have social communications and seek for a brethren in religion and must never fear.
If these three elements of the personality of a woman, which have been mentioned according to Imam Ali’s (P) perspective, seem unusual, more explanation and interpretation are required. These elements, which endanger
woman and put her in a predicament are of two states, the general and particular here, the particular state is mentioned. Such destructive characteristics in both woman and man are not desirable in the general state, since Islam endeavors to educate human beings who are free from arrogance, fear and pride.
So, Imam Ali (P) does not consider the elements of pride and inviolability in its general state however, inviolability has a different meaning from pride. Inviolability means that Islam has defined a structure for a woman’s personality. According to educational and training standards, a woman must be extrovert and be able to relate with others easily and if she could not relate with the opposite sex, she may have reservations with the opposite sex, while according to Islam, a woman must observe a boundary in her social responsibilities.
Regarding the characteristic of niggardly, its general state is considered as well. When the Holy Qur’an states:
…وَمَنْ يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ
"Those who are shielded from their own avarice will be prosperous." (59:9)
So the praiseworthiness of these characteristics is referred to in the particular state. The martyr, Professor Motahhari, regarding disapproval of these three characteristics for women by some individuals, states: "Are the moral characteristics relative and are they for men in one dimension and for women in another dimension? Does this subject indicate that these characteristics are relative or has the role of man been separated from the role of woman, according to Imam Ali’s (P) speech?"
In fact, Imam Ali (P) aims to state the attitudes, which are the outcomes of those characteristics but not the qualities of personality. For instance, when God states:
الله يستهزء بهم
"Allah will throw back their mockery on them."
How can God ascribe that characteristic to Himself? Or when He states: “If a servant requests something three times from God, he/she will be addressed at the third time that God is ashamed of His servant”.
If such passive and reprehensible characteristics would be in the personality, how can the Exalted God deserve these characteristics? Consequently, in these instances what is referred to is the manner of Dominion and Sovereignty of God. His Holiness Ali (P) discarding such an incorrect concept through the analysis and interpretation of his words, states:
فاذا كانت المرأة مزهوة لم تمكن من نفسها
“If a woman continually observe a boundary and certain precautions in her own social relations, she will never be exploited and vulnerable.
لم تمكن نفساً ً
"She never allows herself to be misused.”
فاذا كانت بخيله
"If she has the characteristic of stinginess……"
حفظت مالها و مال بعلها
".. she will safeguard her own property, that of her marital life and also that of her husband."
فاذا كانت جبانة فرقت شيئ يعرض لها
"If a woman be concerned, in social interactions she will have fright and together with precaution and apprehension driving away many calamities and contention as well.”
Nevertheless, Imam Ali (P) considers the best characteristics of women as the worst attributes of man pointing out that from the Islamic point of view the role and position of woman is completely different from that of man in marital life. The nature and personality of woman had been created in a manner that is compatible with such characteristics and virtues.
The martyr, Motahhari states: "The reason why the characteristics mentioned in this narration are not considered in general, in its absolute state and include particular instances, is that regarding stinginess, if its general state is mentioned, it will be incompatible with the certainties of the Holy Qur’an. The verse:
…وَمَنْ يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ
"Those who are shielded from their own avarice will be prosperous." (59:9)
Considers the element of prosperity as the point opposite to stinginess. It is expected of a woman to be proud towards strangers and not towards the husband, other women and/or her relatives close to her. What is focused upon is the pride in order to safeguard chastity and perform social responsibilities.
According to the above-mentioned verse, obsession of this world is condemned and one who can rescue oneself from this obsession and free oneself from worship of worldly matters or wealth will reach the stage of prosperity. So, it is not the best characteristic for a woman not to spend out of her property. Her Eminence Zahra, (P) as an example did not have stinginess in its general state. Stinginess is for the purpose of:
المرأة راعية علي بيت اهلها
“The woman is the supervisor and the one responsible inside the house, in the family and in relation with her husband.”
As I have mentioned, Islam considers some characteristics favorable to woman, which are undesirable for man. Definitely, the general state of these characteristics because of its incompatibility with the certainties of the Holy Qur’an is not desired. The preference and encouragement of the characteristics of pride fear and stinginess is because of the vulnerability of woman. Stinginess and niggardliness is for the conjugal property according to Imam Ali (P) who states:
اذا كانت بخيلة حفظت مالها و مال بعلها
“Of course, both woman and man are responsible to safeguard conjugal property.”
The woman has an essence called chastity, which is vulnerable in social interactions therefore, she must possess a characteristic required to guard this vulnerability. Throughout history nowhere has it been mentioned that a woman violated a man, on the contrary, there have been so many cases regarding violations against woman.
Therefore, fear is for safeguarding the chastity of a woman and encouraging to have this characteristic is observing precaution. Accordingly, perseverance and sensitivity in defending chastity as the basis of personality and complement of woman’s dignity has been recommended to her.
The Martyr Motahhari states: "A woman’s fear in the position of enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong is condemned. The verse:
المومنون و المومنات بعضهم اولياء بعض يامرون بالمعرو ف و ينهون عن المنكر
"Some men believers and women believers are superior over the other believers they command decency and forbid dishonor."
Considers woman and man as partners and equal in enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong. To safeguard values it is said that one has to offer one's wealth or life unless it may cost your chastity. So fear has meaning only in this point. Where it is stated "enjoin the good", it says:
المومنون و المومنات. .
“Men and women believers.”
or says:
الرجال قوامون علي النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم علي بعض
“Men are the ones who should support women since God has given some persons advantages over others.”
It does not say:
بما فضل الله الرجال علي النساء
“Since God has given men advantages over women.”
In fact here it means mutual rights not superiority. The interpretation of guardianship is presented and guardianship is not specified to men, rather woman is the one who safeguards values and fundamentals as well. However, God considers the characteristics of both woman and man and accordingly the duty of superiority.
In the words of the Chief of the Faithful, fear in its absolute sense is not considered, for instance, the action of Her Eminence Zahra to reclaim Fadak, is an example and the action not being for material gain indicates the courage of that lady.
His Holiness Ali (P) observing one, who has such an indifference towards the world, comes to the field in like manner, bears difficulties and never fears, never stated that the actions of Her Eminence Zahra (P) were incompatible with the fundamentals of Islam. For instance, at the time of usurpation of the caliphate, she, along with a group of women of Quraish entered the mosque to prove the legitimacy of the guardianship leadership of the Chief of the Faithful (P) and safeguard the principles as well. This shows why fear is reasonable on some occasions and is not desirable in any
conditions. It can only be practical for safeguarding and protecting the woman.
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Author: Abbas Ali Shameli
