Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Tahzeeb-ul-Islam

(Islamic Ettiquettes)

By: Allama Muhammad Baqar Majlisi (r.a.)

Re-Printed By: Ja’fari Propagation Centre, Mumbai

E-mail: jpcbandra@yahoo.com

Table of Contents

Etiquette of Dressing & Wearing Shoes 6

1. Elegant and Proper Clothing: 6

2. Materials which are not permitted to be worn: 6

3. Instructions about cotton wool and artificial silk: 7

4. Colours of the dress which are sunnat or makrooh. 7

5. Tradition. 7

6. About the clothes which are particularly used by women and non-muslims: 7

7. Instructions about wearing and cutting new cloth: 8

8. How to put on and take off one's dress: 8

9. Socks and shoes: 9

10. How to wear socks, shoes and sandals: 9

Etiquette of Wearing Jewellery, Applying Surma, Looking in the Mirror and Applying Hair-Dye for Men and Women. 10

1. Way of putting on ring and its advantages: 10

2. What should the ring be made of: 10

3. The advantages of Aqiq (Cornelian): 10

4. Advantages of Yakoot (Ruby), Zaberjaa (Jade) and Zamarrud (Emerald): 11

5. Advantages of Turquoise (Feroza) and Jaz-e-Yamani: 11

6. Beneficial qualities of Durre-Najaf, Billore, Hadeed-Cheeni and other stones: 11

7. Suitable engravings for every gem: 12

8. Way of wearing gold and silver jewellery for women and children: 13

9. Way of applying Antimony (Surma) (A black powder applied inside the eyes): 14

10. Manners of using the mirror: 14

11. Benefits of applying dye for men and women: 15

12. Ways of applying dye: 15

Etiquette of Cleaning Teeth, Combing, Cutting Nails & Shaving Head. 16

1. Advantages of miswak (i.e. Cleaning teeth with any raw branch of tree): 16

2. Etiquette and advantages of shaving one's head: 17

3. Advantages of cutting of the tips (end) of moustache: 17

4. Etiquette of growing one's beard: 18

5. The grace of white hair and prohibition of pulling them out: 18

6. The order of cutting the hair of nose and the prohibition of playing with one's beard: 18

7. Advantages and blessings of cutting nails: 19

8. Manner and timings of cutting one's nails: 19

9. Advantages and blessings of combing one's head/beard: 20

10. Timings and manner of combing and types of combs: 20

Manner of Eating and Drinking. 21

1. Utensils that are allowed in eating and drinking: 21

2. The right to have good tasty food and prohibition of greed: 21

3. Ways and timings of eating: 22

4. Complete etiquette of having food: 24

5. Prayers to be recited at the time of eating: 25

6. Etiquette to be observed after the meals: 26

7. The advantages of bread, sattu (flour of chana, rice & cereals), meat, margarine (ghee) & all those foods which are got from the animals and also of vinegar and sweets: 26

8. Advantages of cereals, vegetables, fruits and other kinds of eatables: 29

9. Manners of welcoming momin to one's home: 32

10. The manners and advantages of cleaning one's teeth (khilal): 34

11. The types and advantages of water: 34

12. Manners of drinking water: 35

Importance of Nikah, Advantages of Living Together with Women, Upbringing of Children and Advantages of Being Friendly with them. 36

1. Importance of nikah and prohibition of celibacy and being a hermit: 36

2. Types of women, good and bad: 36

3. Etiquette of Nikah: 37

4. Etiquette of conducting bride to her groom's house for matrimonial relations: 37

5. Prayers and supplications on the first night when the bride is conducted to groom's house for matrimonial relations, and at the time of living together: 39

6. Obligations of a wife towards husband and of a husband towards wife - regulations about it: 39

7. Prayers for conception: 40

8. About the days of pregnancy, delivery and giving names to child: 42

9. Etiquette of aqiqa and hair cutting: 43

10. Circumcision (Khatna) of boys: 45

11. Manners of feeding and upbringing the child and consideration of their rights: 46

12. The rights of parents on their children and obedience and respect due to the parents on behalf of the children: 49

Manners of Going to a Bath, Washing Head and Body, Applying Noorah and Certain Baths 52

1. Advantages of a bath: 52

2. Etiquette of visiting a bathroom and doas (prayers) which should be recited: 52

3. What should be done in a bathroom: 52

4. The advantages of removing odour from the head and body: 53

5. The advantages of washing head with leaves of berry and khatmi: 53

6. Benefits of applying noorah (a kind of lime water which is applied for the removal of unwanted hair): 53

7. Duration of time for applying noorah: 54

8. Benefits of applying henna after applying noorah: 54

9. Etiquette of Jumma Bath and other kinds of baths: 54

Smelling and Application of Scent, Flowers and Oil 57

1. Benefits of sweet-scent and its proper application: 57

2. A version on refusing scent or perfume: 57

3. The blessings of musk, umber and saffron: 58

4. Advantages of Ghalia (Musk): 58

5. Advantages of Almond and Banafsha Oil: 58

6. Advantages of Chambeli (a tropical flower) and Bakain oil: 58

7. Advantages of other oils: 59

8. Advantages of incense, its types and how to take it: 59

9. Benefits of Rose, Rose-water and other flowers: 59

10. Etiquette of smelling flowers: 60

Etiquette of Sleeping, Reciting Do'as at the Time of Sleeping and Seeing Dreams 61

1. Timings of sleep: 61

2. To do ablution (wuzoo) before sleep: 61

3. Etiquettes to be observed before sleeping and the place of sleeping: 62

4. Complete manners of sleeping: 63

5. The verses and prayers meant to be recited before going to bed: 63

Etiquette of Entering and Departing from the House 66

Section I 66

1. Well-spaced house: 66

2. Reproof on making a house of great height and on having too many extra provisions in it: 66

3. Prohibition of drawing, sketching and building an idol of the living which can cast its shadow: 67

4. Etiquette of the floor of the house and of bed-making: 68

5. Etiquette of praying at home: 68

6. Prohibition of keeping a dog in the house: 69

Section II 70

1. Etiquette about the house: 70

2. Etiquette of entering and going out of the house: 71

Classes of Human Beings, their Rights and the Manner of Living with other people 73

1. The rights of relatives, slaves (males and females): 73

2. Rights of neighbours, orphans and relatives: 75

3. Rights of friends and fellow believers: 76

4. Rights of one momin towards another momin and the kindness which should be meted out to the creatures of God: 77

5. Helping momineen, assisting them in their work and making them happy: 79

6. Visits to momineen and looking after the sick: 81

7. Providing food, water and dress to the momins, helping them in every conceivable way and supporting the victimised: 83

8. The rights of poor, weak, victim of cruelty and difficulties and the behaviour to be meted out to them: 84

9. Regards for the rights of momineen and also the stating of any one's faults in his absence (Gheebat): 88

Etiquette of Salutation, Shaking Hands, Embracing, Kissing, Sneezing and of Sitting in a Company and Dispersing the Company. 91

1. Etiquette and sanctity of salutations and answering the salutations: 91

2. Etiquette of shaking hands, touching necks (embracing) and kissing: 92

3. Gathering and etiquette of sitting in the gatherings: 92

4. Those gatherings where one is allowed to go and those people with whom one is allowed to move: 94

5. Ways of sneezing, spitting and belching: 96

6. Etiquette of joking, laughing, whispering, sitting in a company and of keeping the sanctity of a gathering: 96

7. The blessings and rewards of talking about the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) and the Ahlul Bait (a.s.) in gatherings and also discussing their knowledge and relating traditions of their qualities: 98

Etiquette of Walking, Riding, Going to the Market for Trade and Agricul Ture and Keeping Animals 100

1. Riding a horse, a mule, a donkey and their types: 100

2. Regulation about saddling and harnessing: 100

3. Etiquette of mounting and prayers connected with it: 100

4. To earn legitimately (Halal) and trade: 101

5. Etiquette of trade: 102

Etiquette Of Travelling. 105

1. The travels which are permissible and those that are not permissible; the days which are good for travel and those that are not: 105

2. The warding off of unlucky travels with the help of prayers and charity (sadqa): 105

3. The bath, prayers (Namaz) and do'a at the time of departure: 106

4. Complete etiquette of going on a journey: 107

5. Etiquette of proceeding on a journey and alighting on stages: 108

6. Manners of travelling by sea and over the bridges: 109

7. Manners relating how to accompany a traveller for a little while when he sets for the journey and welcoming him on his arrival: 109

8. Mention of the racing of horses and archery: 110

Notes 114

Etiquette of Dressing & Wearing Shoes

1. Elegant and Proper Clothing:

A person should clothe himself neatly and decently according to his position in life; provided, what he wears has been acquired through legitimate (halal) means; and if he cannot clothe himself properly through legitimate means, then he should try to be decent within his limits, as recorded in most of the reliable traditions of Islam. However, acquisition of a variety of dresses should not be exceeded to an extent as to tempt one during his prayers. If God has bestowed one with suitable income or increased it, then one should eat, clothe and spend accordingly, keeping in view one's fellow brothers; and in case one's income is meagre one should adjust and keep away from non-legitimate (haram) means of earning.

It is an acknowledged fact that Imam Ali Al-Reza (a.s.) used to sit on a mat woven with date-leaves during summer, and on coarse jute cloth in winter. But when he ventured outside his home he was elegantly dressed from head to foot to show the world the blessings of Almighty.

It is narrated from Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) that decency and cleanliness in one's outfit are highly endearing to God and those who practise otherwise, displease Almighty. He likes His creatures to be properly dressed and perfumed and to keep their houses spick and span, and light then before sunset, so that poverty should disappear and their sources be increased.

A historical incident reflecting the attitude of the chosen one of God, Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) is thus narrated. One of the leaders of the Ascetic Sufi school of thought tried to belittle and tease the Imam (a.s.) before the whole congregation while he was seated in Masjid al-Haram, elegantly attired. He approached the Imam (a.s.) and questioned him why he was so decently attired when the Holy Prophet and other ancestors of the Imam (a.s.) never were. The Imam (a.s.) recited the following verse from the Holy Book;

Say: (O Our Messenger Mohammed) "Who hath prohibited the adornment (granted) of Allah, which He hath brought forth for His servants and the good things of the provisions?"

and elaborated that in the days of Prophet there was poverty while at present there was economic prosperity and as such pious people had a better right of spending to display the generosity of God. Further, revealing the clothes he was wearing underneath, he said that the outward attire is just for the view of the world but underneath he was coarsely dressed for the sake of his soul.

2. Materials which are not permitted to be worn:

Men are not permitted to use pure silk and brocade and are asked to be careful that their headgear and all those clothings which do not cover the private parts should not be made of silk. Even certain accessories of clothing, like borders, frills etc. should only be made of artificial silk, cotton or any cloth, where silk is one tenth of the other yarn used in the material. Cloth made of any yarn except silk is preferable. Non-essential parts of clothing like handkerchief, shawl etc. can be made of silk.

It is better for children who have not come of age, to be stopped from wearing pure silk and gold; as according to the tradition of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) as narrated by Hazrat Ali (a.s.), the Prophet had asked Ali (a.s.) not to wear a golden ring and silk as he would be dressed in silk in paradise and decorated with gold. Though Ali (a.s.) never used to wear these but it was an indirect address to the people. Some persons had asked Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) whether they could dress their children in gold. The Imam (a.s.) ordered them to refrain from using gold themselves and dressing their children (not having come of age) in gold; only their women and (female) slaves could use it.

3. Instructions about cotton wool and artificial silk:

It is narrated by Ameer-ul-Momineen, Hazrat Ali (a.s.), that cotton and woolen cloth should be used, as the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) and Ahle Bait (a.s.) wore them. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) used woolen cloth when required.

There is a tradition related with Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) from Husain Ibne Kaseer who saw Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) wearing a woolen cloak over coarse cloth. After praising the Imam (a.s.) he asked why he wore the woolen over coarse as he thought the woolen to be abominable (makrooh). The Imam (a.s.) replied that his ancestor, Imam Zainul Abedeen (a.s.) used to wear coarse cloth while praying and therefore the Ahle Bait did likewise.

4. Colours of the dress which are sunnat or makrooh

It is related from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) that white colour is the best and suited to men who should also be provided with a white winding sheet.

5. Tradition

According to a tradition from Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) he saw Hazrat Ali (a.s.) buying three clothes for a gold coin. The shirt measured till the ankle, the Tahmad measured from the waist down to the knee and the shawl not only covered his chest, but was much longer than his back. After having bought these clothes Hazrat Ali (a.s.) looked at the sky, thanked God and returned to his lodging.

According to Imam Moosa Kazim (a.s.) God ordered the Prophet to keep his clothes clean and it meant that the clothes should not be so long as to gather dirt and must be free from impurities.

As related by Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.), the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) advised a person not to have his shirt and pyjama too long, as it is a sign of pride and God does not allow the proud to come near.

6. About the clothes which are particularly used by women and non-muslims:

Men are prohibited from wearing women's face-covering sheet (Muqna), veil, bodice and Burqa etc. and women should not wear men's clothes such as cap, cloak, cassock (qaba) etc. Both men and women are prohibited from adopting the particular headgears by which the Jews, Nusairis and other non Muslims are identified. According to Imam Baqir (a.s.) men should not use make up like women and women should not make up themselves like men as the Holy Prophet had cursed such men and women.

It is stated in Fiqha-ur-Riza that one should wear the pyjama while sitting and recite the following prayer:

‘I begin with the name of Allah (Oh Allah!) Draw a veil over my nudity and let me not be insulted on the Day of Judgement! Shower me with chastity and separate not me from my faith!’

People who do not practise this are faced with disease and death. According to a tradition, all the Prophets and even Hazrat Ameer-ul-Momineen (a.s.) used to put on the shirt before wearing pyjama.

7. Instructions about wearing and cutting new cloth:

According to Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.), a person while putting on a new dress should recite the following prayer:

‘O Allah make this cloth to be the cause of peace, piety and reward! O Allah as long as I go on wearing this dress let me be able to carry out Thy worship in its entirety, and let me be able to be obedient to Thy bidding and thankful for Thy blessings. All praise is for Allah who has given me such a garment that covers me up and is a source of respect and decency among people.’

According to a tradition coming down from Hazrat Ali (a.s.), the Holy Prophet had given the following prayer to Ali (a.s.) that he may recite it while putting on new clothes.

‘O Allah make this dress such a source of blessing that whatever I may try after putting it on should be for gaining Thy goodwill and for populating Thy mosque (centres of prayers).’

The Prophet had said that those who recite this prayer will have their sins forgiven.

According to another tradition, Ali (a.s.) asked those who were putting on new clothes to recite so:

‘There is no God but one Allah and Muhammed is His Messenger.’, that they may be protected from all the troubles and every single thread of such a garment will ensure constant happiness as long as it lasts.

8. How to put on and take off one's dress:

According to Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) man should not keep his body naked at any time, night or day.

Hazrat Ali (a.s.) seems to have stated that a naked man is an easy victim to the devil and his temptations; and a man while sitting among a certain number of people should lower his thighs. He also asked men to recite Bismillah while taking off the clothes that the jinn may not wear them as they do during the night, when we do not say Bismillah.

According to Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.) Janabe Fatima (a.s.) used to have Muqna so wide that it reached her limbs. All women should be likewise.

According to Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) muslim women should not use transparent veil or clothing. Another tradition states that a person asked Hazrat Moosa Kazim (a.s.) if possessing ten garments was supposed to be a luxury. The Imam (a.s.) replied on the contrary that the extra dresses will help men to keep tidy provided those clothes or garments are kept washed and clean, away from dirty places.

According to Ameer-ul-Momineen (a.s.) wearing of clean clothes keeps sadness away and helps in the prayers being answered.

Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) states that a man who patches his garment, stitches his worn out shoes and carries his own purchases home, will be protected from pride.

9. Socks and shoes:

For sandals and shoes, the best colour is yellow and next comes white.

According to Hazrat Ali (a.s.) fine shoes keep the body free from germs and diseases. They also help in wazoo (ablution) and Namaz (prayers) as the shoes keep the feet free from dirt.

According to Sarraf, when he went before Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) while having white shoes on the Imam (a.s.) asked him if it was intentional and before Sarraf could answer, the Imam (a.s.) said that any person who buys a white shoe will get money from unknown sources before the shoe gets worn out. Saraf said, that hardly had he started wearing them, when he got hundred gold coins from a place which he could not even dream of.

10. How to wear socks, shoes and sandals:

According to a tradition related to Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.) and Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.), the shoe should be put on the right foot first and then on the left; but while taking them off, the shoe of the left foot should be taken off first. It is also stated that anyone who has a shoe on one foot and none on the other, and walks thus, will be tempted by the devil and will go mad.

According to Abdul Rehman Ibne Kaseer, once while he was walking with Imam-e-Sadiq (a.s.), Imam (a.s.)'s sandal belt broke. Ibne Kaseer immediately took out a new belt and started repairing the sandal. All that while the Imam (a.s.) kept his hand on his shoulder and said that if someone helps a momin while his sandal is being repaired, God will give him a fast camel on the Day of Judgement to enter heavens on it.

Another tradition from Abdul Rehman Ibne Abdullah states that he once went to Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) accompanied with another man. When they arrived at the Imam's place, he (the Imam (a.s.)) took out his sandals and said that a person should take out his sandals while sitting, that the feet may feel comfortable.

It is further stated that the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) prohibited walking with one shoe on and also to put on shoes while standing or walking.

A chapter on salvation (Kitabe-Najat) in Makaremul-Akhlaq states that one should put on socks and sandals while sitting and recite the following prayer:

‘I begin with the name of Allah. O Allah shower thy grace (send durood) on Muhammad and Ale-Muhammad and keep my feet steady in this world and that to come and on the Day when the best of the people will tumble on the Bridge of Sirat! Thou keep both my feet steady.’

And take them off standing and recite:

‘I begin with the name of Allah! All praise is to God who has blessed with a thing that preserves both my feet from pain. O God keep both my feet steady on the Bridge of Sirat and let them not go astray from the right path.’