The Forty-third Greater Sin: Insulting a Believer
The forty-third sin promised Divine Chastisement is insulting a believer, degrading him, defaming him, abusing or taunting him. Insulting a believer in any manner is haraam whether it is in jest or by way of abuse or criticism, or in relation with his defects; or by scolding or reprimanding him or considering him lowly and debasing him, denouncing him, taunting him or hurting his feelings in any way.
A Believer is Deserving of Honour and Respect
In the ayats and traditions recorded on the subject of a believer’s honour, Allah has made a special mention of utmost honour and respect that a believer deserves and which has to be accorded to him.
His dishonour is equated with murder. Allah has given a high status to the believer by associating him with Himself as seen from the following ayats.
“Allah is the guardian of those who believe.”
(Surah Baqarah 2: 257)
“That is because Allah is the Protector of those who believe.”
(Surah Muhammad 47: 11)
“and helping the believers is ever incumbent on Us.”
(Surah Rum 30: 47)
Allah has exalted the honour of the believer by mentioning him with His honourable Prophet (s.a.),
“and to Allah belongs the might and to His Apostle and to the believers.”
(Surah Munafiqun 63: 8)
Allah has considered a believer the best of men,
“(As for) those who believe and do good, surely they are the-best of men.”
(Surah Baiyina 98: 7)
The chief of the Messengers (s.a.w.s.) is commanded to deal with them with respect,
“And be kind to him who follows you of the believers.”
(Surah Shura 26: 215)
Allah has also commanded the Prophet (s.a.),
“And when those who believe in Our communications come to you, say: Peace be on you”
(Surah Anam 6: 54)
Allah has made His mercy incumbent for the believers,
“Your Lord has ordained mercy on Himself,”
(Surah Anam 6: 54)
Allah has mentioned Himself to be the buyer of the life and property of believers,
“Surely Allah has bought of the believers their persons and their property.”
(Surah Tawbah 9: 111)
Allah has called a believer His friend,
“He shall love them and they shall love Him.”
(Surah Maidah 5: 54)
“and those who believe are stronger in love for Allah.” (Surah Baqarah 2: 165)
Since Allah associates Himself with a believer, anyone who insults a believer has shown disrespect to Allah. According to Tafseer it means not only to love Allah, but also to love what Allah loves and to hate what Allah hates, for the sake of Allah and in the cause of Allah.
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“Indeed Allah has made the believer an example of His Greatness and Power. So one who taunts a believer or rejects his request, he has actually rejected the command of Allah.”
(Wasaelush Shia, vol. 8 Pg. 612)
Imam Moosa al-Kazim (a.s.) stood before the Ka’ba and said,
“O Ka’ba! How great is your right. By Allah the right of a believer exceeds yours.”
(Safinatun Behar Vol. 1 Pg. 290)
This shows how serious a crime it is to insult a believer. Given below are some ayats and traditions on this subject.
Making Fun
It is a serious sin to make fun of a believer’s actions, traits or habits in a manner that people find it funny and laugh. Whether it is done verbally or by actions or gestures, there is no doubt that such a behaviour will be severely punished.
Allah says in Surah Tauba,
“They who taunt those of the faithful who give their alms freely, and those who give to the extent of their earnings and scoff at them; Allah will pay them back their scoffings and they shall have a painful chastisement.”
(Surah Tawbah 9: 79)
According to traditions the circumstances of revelation (Shaan-e-Nuzool) of this ayat are as follows: During the Battle of Tabuk the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) announced that people should donate as much as they can to cover the cost of this Battle. The affluent people donated large amounts and the poor gave whatever little they could. A companion by the name of Abu Aqeel Ansari brought 1.75 seer of dates and said, “I have laboured from last night till morning and received 3.5 seer of dates. Half I left for my family and the other half for Allah.” The hypocrites began to make fun of both the types of people and began to find faults with them. For those who donated more, they said that they have given such large amounts to show off their wealth and for those who could contribute little, they said: They want to be included among the philanthropist, or they wanted people to consider them at the time of giving charity.
Those who have made fun of believers in this world will be laughed at in the hereafter and their abode will be hell. After the accounting all the believers will be bestowed their places in paradise and the unbelievers will be lying in Hell. Then a door will open towards Paradise and the unbelievers and hypocrites will rush towards it and see the believers in luxurious surroundings. They shall try to enter but the door would slam abruptly and the believers will burst out laughing. This is their recompense for making fun of the believers in the world.
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“Those who make fun will be brought on the day of Qiyamat and a door will be opened towards Paradise. He would be told to enter it fast. Full of grief and misery, as soon as he tries to enter it the door will slam shut and another door will open on the other side. He would be told enter quickly, but as soon as he reaches it they will shut that door also. He will continue in this struggle but he would not be able to enter any of the doors. At last he would lose all hope and now when he is called, he shall decline.”
(Muhajjatul Baiza Vol. 5 Pg. 326)
The Almighty Allah says,
“Surely they who are guilty used to laugh at those who believe.
And when they passed by them, they winked at one another. And when they returned to their own followers they returned exulting. And when they saw them, they said: Most surely these are in error; And they were not sent to be keepers over them. So today those who believe shall laugh at the unbelievers.”
(Surah Mutafefeen 83: 29-34)
“O you who believe! Let not (one) people laugh at (another) people perchance they may be better than they, nor let women (laugh) at (other) women, perchance they may be better than they; and do not find fault with your own people nor call one another by nick names.”
(Surah Hujurat (49: 11)
It is quoted in
Tafseer Majmaul Bayan
that whenever Thabit bin Qays came to the Holy Prophet’s assembly people used to make way for him and allow him to sit nearest to the Prophet (a.s.) because he was hard of hearing. One day in morning payers he managed to get a place only in the last row. After the prayers he got up and stepping over other people went towards the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) when there remained only one person between him and the Prophet, he said, “Let me go, so that I can sit near the Messenger (s.a.).” The man in between told him to sit where he was. Thabit was angry but he sat down and when it was light he saw the man’s face he asked him who he was. When the man told him his name Thabit said, “So and so, son of so and so’ and mentioned the name of his mother who was notorious for her loose morals before the advent of Islam. The person was very much ashamed at this and he lowered his head in disgrace. It was then that the above verse was revealed.
Regarding women, the verse was revealed because Ayesha used to make fun of Umme Salma who had a loose cummerbund which dragged behind as she walked saying, “the loose end is like the dog rolling out his tongue”. Also the women used to taunt the wife of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.), Safiya, daughter of Huyy Ibne Akhtab calling her “daughter of a Jew.”
Abuse and Taunt
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) said,
“Abusing a believer is like throwing oneself into destruction.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 359)
Abusing is associating evil things with the believers and using inappropriate language with respect to them. In legal terminology accusing someone falsely of adultery or illegitimacy is Qazaf, which has been dealt with in the previous part. Other evil allegations like calling him usurer, drunkard, accursed, betrayer of trust, donkey, dog, pig, transgressor, evil doer etc. with the intention of disgracing him, is abuse.
The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) also said,
“Abusing a believer is transgression. Fighting him is infidelity and devouring his flesh (doing his Gheebat) is a sin and his wealth has the sanctity like his blood.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 360)
This hadith indicates that the sin of abusing a Momin is more serious than Gheebat. This is so because abuse is more hurtful than Gheebat. Gheebat is done behind a person’s back but abuse in his presence shows contempt and humiliates him.
The Worst Death
Imam Baqir (a.s.) says,
“One who taunts a believer on his face will die the most terrible death. And he has moved in such a direction from where there is no return to goodness.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 360)
Allamah Majlisi explains that the worst death could be with regard to this world, like death by drowning, by fire or getting killed in house collapse, or being devoured by wild animals etc. With respect to the Hereafter it could be dying as an infidel, or to die without repenting for ones sins. According to Allamah Majlisi the word “goodness” in the tradition indicates the act of seeking forgiveness or doing good deeds while one is a believer.
Sometimes the Oppressed one Becomes an Oppressor
Two people were abusing each other. Imam Moosa Ibne Ja’far (a.s.) said,
“The one who initiates abuse is the greater oppressor, carrying the sin of himself and the other person around his neck, till the time the oppressed does not exceed the limit. If he exceeds the first abuser in replying to his abusing he would himself be responsible for the sin.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 359)
Explaining this tradition, Allamah Majlisi says that the sin of both the persons is carried by the one who initiates abusing, because he was the first one to commit the sin which led to the other person also follow his footsteps. If he had not initiated it in the first place the other person would have remained silent. Abusing in retaliation is a sin, but the guilt is borne by the first person, if the second one does not exceed the limit. If he does so, he becomes as much a sinner as the first one.
Exceeding the Limit in abusing
Exceeding the limit may be uttering the bad word twice. For example the first person says, O, Dog! And the others says ‘O Dog! O Dog!’ Sometimes excess is reached by using a more serious abuse. For Example, in reply to ‘O Donkey’ he say, ‘O Dog!’ Both sins are upon the first person only when the second one retaliates with the same or similar type of abuse. It is not unlikely that it could be with regard to the case when a person abuses with words like O Adulterer! Or O thief! Now when the person uttering abuse first of all is not a thief, naturally he cannot be called as such in reply. Thus, in abusing the other person should limit himself to words like ‘Stupid, ‘ignorant’, ‘unjust’ and ‘misguided’ etc.
Paradise is not Allowed for the Sharp-tongued
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“Indeed Allah has not permitted Paradise for any shameless abuser who has no qualms about saying anything or what is being said to him, because if investigation is conducted he shall be found to be illegitimately born or Satan was involved in his origin”.
People asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, how can Shaitan get a share in their birth?”
He (s.a.w.s.) replied,
“Have you not read the words of Allah,
‘(O Satan!) Share with them in wealth and children.”
(Surah Bani Israel 17: 64)
Allamah Majlisi has related from Shaykh Bahai that it implies that for a time Paradise is prohibited for him or a particular Paradise is prohibited for him, a Paradise which is denied to him but available for those believers who do not abuse. The following traditions are also narrated on this subject.
Sama says that he came to Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq who began the conversation, “O Sama!” what is it that I have heard between you and your camel driver? See that you do not become an abuser and curser.”
Sama replied, “Yes! What you have heard is correct. He had been unjust on me.”
Imam (a.s.) said,
“If he has oppressed you, you have also become his equal and you oppressed more. Indeed this action is not from my behaviour and neither do I advise my Shias to do like that. Ask your Lord for forgiveness and do not repeat this act.” (Al-Kafi)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“If one taunts a Muslim even with a single word, Allah prohibits the fragrance of Paradise for him. Though the fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of 500 years travel.”
(Mustadrakul Wasael)
It is necessary to mention a couple of points here. One is that when a person curses a believer and hurts his feelings, in addition to the punishment he would receive in the hereafter, the Momin can complain about him to the religious judge who would punish him at his discretion for the abuse he had uttered against the Momin. As mentioned in the discussion of Qazaf if the abuser pleads to the one he had abused to forgive him and makes him happy, there is no penal action against him. Secondly, if he regrets his deed and begs for Divine forgiveness the punishment of the Hereafter shall be condoned for him.
Abusing Anyone
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“Cursing and abusing is from cruelty and cruelty is punishable by hell.”
(Al-Kafi)
The Late Muhaqqiq Muhammad Taqi Shirazi (r.a.) writes on the margins of Makasib: According to traditions obscene abuse is haraam. No matter to whom it is addressed. Whether to a Muslim and Momin or to a Kafir and a Sinner, whether young or old. Even if he is a child unable to understand. In fact, some traditions prohibit cursing and abusing the beasts of burden also.
Prohibition of Retaliating to an Abuse with Abuse
It is explained in Tafseerul Mizan, that we should show respect for the sacred objects and personalities of other religions. If we vilify the idols of the polytheists, they will retaliate by insulting the holy aspects of Islam. In such a case the momin who had initiated the abuse will be responsible for the disrespect shown to Islam and Allah.
Also it is haraam to abuse a non-Shia or Kafir, because he may respond by abusing and cursing you, or any other believer.
This is clearly prohibited in Quran,
“And do not abuse those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest exceeding the limits they should abuse Allah out of ignorance.”
(Surah Anam 6: 108)
Insulting and Degrading a Believer
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“One who considers a Momin lowly due to his poverty and destitution will be degraded before the people by Allah on the day of Qiyamat.”
(Al-Kafi)
The Imam (a.s.) also said,
“One who belittles a Momin, whether poor or rich, will be considered disgraceful and an enemy by Allah till he does not refrain from it.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 351)
Imam (a.s.) has also mentioned that on the day of Qiyamat an announcer will call out: where are those who turned away their faces from My friend? Upon this, some people will stand up, who would not have flesh on their faces. It will be said: They are the ones who troubled the believers and opposed them, they bore enmity to them and because of their faith they oppressed them. After this they shall be ordered to be tossed into Hell.
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg 352)
Another tradition says,
“Allah indeed says that one who insults a friend of Mine has raised a standard of revolt against Me and I am the most efficient in helping My friends.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 351)
Abu Haroon says that I was sitting in the assembly of Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) when Imam (a.s.) asked the people sitting there,
“Why do you insult me?”
A man from Khorasan stood up and said, “We seek Allah’s refuge from this! That we insult your respected self or anything connected with you.” Imam (a.s.) said,
“Yes! Indeed, you are one of those who have insulted me.”
“Refuge of Allah! I have never insulted your respected self.”
Imam (a.s.) continued,
“I pity you. Is it not true that when we were near Juhfa a man had approached you and requested you to carry him on your animal for some distance because he was dead tired and unable to walk anymore? And you did not even raise your head to look at him and neither did you pay any heed! You considered him lowly and one who considers a believer lowly has insulted me and has not accorded respect to the Almighty.”
(Wasaelush Shia)
Criticising and Exposing a Believer
Imam Baqir (a.s.) and Imam Sadiq (a.s.) have said,
“The deed that brings one very close to infidelity is that a person considers someone his brother in faith but he keeps track of his defects and misdeeds so that one day he can use them to criticise the believer.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 354)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“O those people! Who have accepted Islam (become Muslims) by tongue but sincere belief (Imaan) has not entered your hearts. Do not criticise the Muslims and do not search for their faults, because Allah will search for the faults of those who search for defects in the believers. And whoever’s faults He searches, will be degraded by Him, even if he had committed the bad deed in his house.”
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) remarked,
“Allah will denounce and degrade one who denounces and degrades a believer.”
(Al Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 356)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“One who exposes an indecency is like the one who has committed it and one who curses and criticises a believer for a bad deed will himself fall into the same sin before he leaves this world.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 356)
It should be clear that prohibition on criticism and Nahy Anil Munkar are not contradictory. Nahy Anil Munkar is constructive criticism which is actually good advice given to a believer in faith, out of concern for him, and in order to help him get rid of his bad traits. Whereas malicious criticism only serves to degrade and expose the believer.
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“One who relates something about a believer to expose his defects and insults him so that he falls in the estimation of people will be deprived of Allah’s friendship and guardianship. Allah will push him under the guardianship of Shaitan but Shaitan will also refuse to accept him.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 359)
Commenting on this tradition Allamah Majlisi (r.a.) says that it may be relating an incident which proves the lack of intelligence or weakness of judgement of the believer, or Shaitan’s refusal to accept him, means that Shaitan is no longer interested in this person. Shaitan’s aim is to deviate the people, so that they lose the guardianship (love and friendship) of Allah. Since this purpose is already accomplished, Shaitan has no further interest.
Muhammad Ibne Fuzail says that he asked Imam Moosa Ibne Ja’far (a.s.), “May I be sacrificed for you, I hear a thing about my believing brother that is unpleasant. After this I ask my brother that I heard such and such thing regarding him, if it was true, and he denies it. Whereas a very reliable person had informed me about it?”
Imam (a.s.) said,
“Belie your eyes and your ears with regard to your brother, that is ignore it by saying: My eyes and ears have fooled me, even if fifty people report something about your brother and he denies it. You must accept his veracity and belie them. That is, say, ‘They may be mistaken’, and do not say anything that will expose his defects and degrade him. Because if you do so, you shall be included among the people about whom the Quran says: “Those who like scandal to spread among the believers. There is severe chastisement for them in the world and the Hereafter.”
(Wasaelush Shia Vol. 7 Pg. 609)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) said,
“One who moves out to expose the defects of his brother has taken the first step towards Hell. And Allah will expose his hidden defects on the day of Qiyamat.”
(Wasaelush Shia Vol. 7. Pg 602)
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“Allah will keep in a place of Hell where there is blood and puss a person who relates an anecdote regarding his believing brother which exposes his faults and degrades him.”
(It is the place in Hell where blood and puss from the organs of fornication collect.)
(Mustadrakul Wasael)
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“If one is aware of a sinful act of a believer and instead of concealing it, he reveals it to the people and does not pray for the believer’s forgiveness, he shall be in the view of Allah same as one who has himself committed that sin and is eligible for its punishment. The actual sinner will receive salvation because the worldly degradation was enough as an expiation of his sin and he will not suffer humiliation in the hereafter because Allah is very kind, He does not punish twice for the same sin, and neither can he humiliate someone twice.”
(Mustadrakul Wasael)
In effect the punishment of the hereafter will be transferred to the account of those who expose this evil act. Many more traditions are quoted in this connection but the above mentioned should suffice.
Insulting a Momin in Prose or Poetry
Shaykh Ansari says that insulting a believer is haraam in the light of Quran, hadith, Ijma and Aql (reason), because in it are included exposure of defects, taunts, gheebat, criticism and betraying of secrets; and each of them is a mortal sin. Therefore the evils of all those deeds are included in it. If one mentions something bad that is not present in the believer it is also ‘bohtaan’ (allegation).
It does not matter whether the believer is sinful or sinless, it is haraam to criticise a believer. The traditions which are narrated regarding the criticism of the transgressors apply to unbelievers or those who commit indecencies openly. Criticising a defect of the one who introduces an innovation with the intention, that this should serve as a warning to people not to be fooled by him, is allowed.
Hurting the Feelings of a Believer
Allah says in Surah Ahzab,
“And those who annoy believing men and women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a calumny and a glaring sin.”
(Surah Ahzab 33: 58)
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) remarks that Allah says,
“One who hurts My believing slave has actually declared war against Me and one who honours My believing servant remains safe from My anger.” (Al-Kafi)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“One who annoys a believer annoys me and one who annoys me annoys Allah and one who annoys Allah is accursed according to Taurat, Injeel, Zaboor and Quran.” And according to another tradition, “He is cursed by Allah, the Angels and all the people.”
(Mustadrakul wasael)
He (s.a.w.s.) also says,
“One who aggrieves a believer but later desires to atone for it by offering the whole world it will not compensate for the hurt he had caused and the donor will also not be rewarded.”
Also mentioned by the Prophet (s.a.) is,
“One who hurts a momin for no fault of his, it is as if he has demolished the Holy Ka’ba and Baitul Ma’moor ten times and slaughter Allah’s 1000 proximate angels.”
(Mustadrakul Wasael)
This hadith indicates that the honour of a believer is ten times that of the Ka’ba and Baitul Ma’moor and a thousand times that of the Angels.
Terrible Punishment for Annoying the Neighbours
Another group of people, hurting whom is most sinful are neighbours. Annoying them is haraam and deserving of chastisement in the world and the hereafter.
An Ansar (emigrant) came to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and said that he has recently purchased a house in a particular area and that his nearest person was such that he had no hope of any goodness from him and that he felt unsafe from his mischief. The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) told Ali (a.s.), Salman, Abu Zar and Miqdad to go to the Mosque and announce: “He is not a believer whose neighbour is unsafe from his mischief.” They announced it thrice and then the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) pointed towards forty doors to his right and forty to the left indicating that forty houses in every direction constitute ones neighbourhood. One is obliged to observe their rights.
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 666)
The following tradition is mentioned in the Mushaf of Fatemah Zahra (s.a.):
“One who believes in Allah and the last day will not hurt his neighbour, he honours the guest and either he speaks good or remains silent.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 6 Pg. 667)
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“One who does not behave well with his neighbours is not one of us.”
(Al-Kafi Vol. 2 Pg. 668)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says,
“Allah will deprive from the fragrance of Paradise one who hurts his neighbour. His abode shall be Hell and what terrible abode it is! And one who fails to fulfill the rights of a neighbour is not one of us. Jibreel has emphasized so often on the rights of the neighbours that I thought they shall be included among one’s inheritors.”
(Wasaelush Shia vol. 8 Pg. 488)
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has also said that one who annoys his neighbour and whose neighbour is not safe from his mischief will not be able to enter Paradise. The Prophet (s.a.) said during the expedition of Tabuk,
“Those who cause harm to their neighbours should not accompany us.”
(Wasaelush Shia)
One day the companions told the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) that such and such woman fasts during the day and prays during the night, gives alms but hurts her neighbour by her sharp tongue. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said,
“There is no virtue in this woman. She is from the inmates of Hell.”
Then the people said, “Such and such woman just prays the wajib prayers and fasts during the month of Ramadhan but she never troubles her neighbours.” The Prophet (s.a.) said,
“She is among those who deserve Paradise.”
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) said,
“There are three categories of neighbours. First: one who has three rights upon you. This is the one who is a Muslim and also a relative. Second: One who has two rights. A Muslim neighbour and third: The Kafir neighbour who has only the rights of a neighbour.”
(Mustadrakul Wasael)
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,
“Accursed! Accursed is the one who hurts his neighbour.”
(Al-Kafi)
Imam (a.s.) also says that when Benjamin went away from Hazrat Yaqoob (a.s.) he said to Allah: O Allah! You have not dealt with Mercy! That you have taken away my son and rendered me visually impaired. Allah revealed to him: If I have killed him I make alive once more and unite him to you. But you also recall the sheep that you had roasted for dinner while your neighbour had fasted and was in hunger. You did not give him anything.
(Mustadrakul Wasael)
Another tradition says that after this it was the practice of Yaqoob (a.s.) to announce every morning through a caller within a radius of three miles around his house that whosoever wanted breakfast can have it from his house and similarly in the evening it was announced that whosoever wanted dinner could have it from the house of Yaqoob (a.s.).
There are many more traditions dealing with this topic, but traditions already mentioned clearly indicate the extreme significance of the rights that neighbours have over us.
Rights of Neighbours
We must behave with them with kindness. Do not delay doing a good deed towards him. Do not be miserly in fulfilling his needs. Consider him a partner in your wealth. Say salaam to him. Do not pry into his secrets. Visit him when he is sick. Comfort him in calamities and share his sorrow. Wish him on auspicious occasions. If you learn of any of his defects, keep it confidential. Forgive him his mistakes. Do not object if he wants to do something on the partition wall. If he wants to lay some pipe or drain through the neighbouring field, do not restrain him. Do not fall short in giving him anything for the household needs. Do not eye the spouse and family of your neighbour. Do not neglect his house in his absence. Be kind to his children. Guide them by teaching the good things of the life and the hereafter. Help if he requests for help. Lend him money if he needs it. Do not raise the height of your house without his permission, due to which the airy atmosphere of his house will suffer. You must send him something from the delicacies purchased by you for your own family. If you cannot give them, consume it secretly so that the neighbour’s children do not become aware of it and desire it.
Troubling the spouse
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) says that Allah does not accept the Prayers and good deeds of a wife who troubles her husband, till the time she fulfils the rights of her husband and makes him happy. Even if she fasts everyday, frees slaves and donates millions in charity she will be the first one to enter Hell. After this he (s.a.w.s.) said the same will be the fate of the husband who troubles his wife. A husband who bears the bad behaviour of his wife and seeks Allah’s help in bearing it is rewarded with the reward of Ayyub’s (a.s.) patience, every time he is patient with his wife. As regards the wife she would be accumulating sins equal to the particles of sand in a desert, every twenty four hours. If she dies without making up with her husband and earning his satisfaction, she would be thrown headlong into the lowest level of Hell with the hypocrites. A wife who does not agree with her husband, is not content with the expenses he gives her, pressurizes him and forces him for something he is not capable of, the Almighty will not accept even her deeds which can save her from the fire of Hell. Allah will continue to be wrathful with her till she reforms herself.
(Wasaelush Shia)
Annoying a Beggar
The Almighty Allah says in Surah Baqarah,
“O you who believe! Do not make your charity worthless by reproach and injury.”
(Surah Baqarah 2: 264)
Allah also says,
“Kind speech and forgiveness is better than charity followed by injury.”
(Surah Baqarah 2: 263)
Like hurting the person by turning ones face away or behaving curtly, or in return for the alms, to force a person to do some labour; or make the charity public and cause him humiliation. Tradition says,
“Those who boast of favours after they have done kindness will not enter Paradise.”
(Layali al-Akhbar)
In another tradition it is mentioned that,
“Those who boast for being kind on deprived people are cursed in the world and the hereafter. One who does good to his siblings and parents and thinks it as a favour and mentions it, is far from the mercy of Allah and His angels and he is near Hell-fire. His supplications are not accepted. His desires are not fulfilled and Allah does not look at him with mercy in the life and the hereafter.”