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Children in the Quran and Sunnah

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Children in the Quran and Sunnah Author:
Publisher: Dar al-Hadith Publications
Category: Family and Child

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Children in the Quran and Sunnah

Children in the Quran and Sunnah

Author:
Publisher: Dar al-Hadith Publications

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Family and Child


English

This book is corrected and edited by Al-Hassanain (p) Institue for Islamic Heritage and Thought


Chapter 4: The Forming of the Life-germ



4.1: The Effects of being Born Pure


92. Ma’ani al-Akhbar, narrating from Husayn ibn Zaid, from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.), from his fathers (a.s.):“The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: “Whoever loves us the Ahlul-Bayt must praise Allah Almighty for the foremost of blessings.”



Some asked:“What is the foremost of blessings?”



He answered:“Purity of birth. No one will love us except those who are born pure, and no one hates us other than those who are born impure.”
1



93. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, narrating from Abu Ayyub al-Ansari who said:“Present the love of ‘Ali to your children, and those who love him are from you, and those who do not love him you must ask its mother where she got him from, for I heard the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) say to ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib: “No one loves you except a believer, and no one hates you except a hypocrite, a person of illegitimate birth, or a child conceived during its mother’s menses.”
2



94. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said:“Good intention denotes purity of birth.”
3



95. Imam al-Baqir (a.s.) said:“The one whose birth is pure will enter Paradise.”
4



96. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“Allah created Paradise clean and pure, so no one will enter it except those who are of pure birth.”
5



97. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“He who has found the harmony of our love in his heart must abundantly pray for his mother for she did not betray his father.”
6



آثارُ طيبِ الوِلادَةِ


92. معاني الأخبار عن الحسين بن زيد، عن الإمام الصادق عليه السلام عن آبائه عليهم السلام: قالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن أحَبَّنا أَهلَ البَيتِ، فَليَحمَدِ اللهَ تَعالى عَلى‏ أوَّلِ النِّعَمِ. قيلَ: و ما أوَّلُ النِّعَمِ؟


قالَ: طيبُ الوِلادَةِ، و لا يُحِبُّنا إلّا مَن طابَت وِلادَتُهُ، وَ لا يُبغِضُنا إلّا مَن خَبُثَت وِلادَتُهُ


93. علل الشرائع: أبو أيّوبَ الأنصارِيُ: اعرِضوا حُبَّ عَلِيٍ عَلى‏ أولادِكُم، فَمَن أحَبَّهُ فَهُوَ مِنكُم، وَ مَن لَم يُحِبَّهُ فَاسأَلوا امَّهُ مِن أينَ جَاءَت بِهِ؛ فَإِنّي سَمِعتُ رَسولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله يَقولُ لِعَلِيّ بنِ أبي طالِبٍ: «لا يُحِبُّكَ إلّا مُؤمِنٌ، ولا يُبْغِضُكَ إلّا مُنافِقٌ أو وَلَدُ زِنيَةٍ، أو حَمَلَتهُ امُّهُ وَ هِيَ طامِثٌ ».


94. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: جَميلُ المَقصَدِ يَدُلُّ عَلى طَهارَةِ المَولِدِ


95. الإمام الباقر عليه السلام: مَن طَهُرَت وِلادَتُهُ دَخَلَ الجَنَّةَ


96. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: إنَّ اللهَ تَعالى‏ خَلَقَ الجَنَّةَ طاهِرَةً مُطَهَّرَةً، فلا يَدخُلُها إلّا مَن طابَت وِلادَتُهُ


97. عنه عليه السلام: مَن وَجَدَ بَردَ حُبِّنا عَلى قَلبِهِ فَليُكثِرِ الدُّعاءَ لِامِّهِ؛ فَإِنَّها لَم تَخُن أباهُ



4.2: The Effects of Impure Birth


“… and share with them in wealth and children…”
7



98. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Good morals cannot be separated from any one except a child conceived during menses or a child from adultery.”
8



99. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said to ‘Ali (a.s.):“No one will hate you except for three groups of people: the illegitimately born, the hypocrite and he who his mother got pregnant with him while she was in her menses.”
9



100. Kanz al-Ummal, narrating from Abu Hurayrah who said:“The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: “There will come a time for people when devils will be partners in having their children.”
Some asked:“Is this possible, O Messenger of Allah?”



He said:“Yes.”
They asked:“How can we recognize our children from their children?”
He answered:“By having very little modesty and very little mercy.”
10



101. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“He who is not embarrassed from what he says or from what is said to him, he is either an illegitimate child, or his mother got pregnant with him while being in her menses.”
11



102. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said:“The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: ‘Allah has prohibited the entering of Paradise for he who is abusive, has little modesty, and does not fear of what he says and what is said about him. If you were to investigate him, you would not find him other than being born from an illegitimate relationship or the partner of Satan.”



He was asked:“O Messenger of Allah! Is there a partner of Satan among people?”



The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Have you not read Allah’s saying: “…and share with them in wealth and children…?”
12



103. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said:“He who is vile is a sign of his birth being malevolent.”
13



104. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“No one will hate us except for whose birth is impure, or their mother became pregnant during her menses.”
14



آثارُ خُبْثِ الوِلادَةِ


(وَ شارِكْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْوالِ وَ الْأَوْلادِ)


98. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: الخُلُقُ الحَسَنُ لا يُنزَعُ إلّا مِن وَلَدِ حَيضَةٍ، أو وَلَدِ زِنيَةٍ


99. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله لِعَليّ عليه السلام‏ لا يُبغِضُكُم إلّا ثَلاثَةٌ: وَلَدُ زِنا، وَ مُنافِقٌ، وَ مَن حَمَلَت بِهِ امُّهُ و هِيَ حائِضٌ


100. كنز العمّال عن أبي هريرة عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: يَأتي عَلَى النّاسِ زَمانٌ يُشارِكُهُمُ الشَّياطِينُ في أولادِهِم. قيلَ: و كائِنٌ ذلِكَ يا رَسولَ اللهِ؟ قالَ: نَعَم. قالوا: و كَيفَ نَعرِفُ أولادَنا مِن أولادِهِم؟ قالَ: بِقِلَّةِ الحَياءِ، و قِلَّةِ الرَّحمَةِ


101. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن لَم يَستَحِ فيما قالَ، أو قيلَ لَهُ فَهُوَ لِغَيرِ رِشَدَةٍ، أو حَمَلَت بِهِ امُّهُ عَلى غَيرِ طُهرٍ


102. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: قالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: إنَّ اللهَ حَرَّمَ الجَنَّةَ عَلى كُلِّ فَحّاشٍ بَذي‏ءٍ قَليلِ الحَياءِ، لا يُبالي ما قالَ، و لا ما قيلَ لَهُ؛ فَإِنَّكَ إن فَتَّشتَهُ لَم تَجِدهُ إلّا لِغَيَّةٍ أو شِركَ شَيطانٍ. فَقيلَ: يا رَسولَ اللهِ، و في النّاسِ شِركُ شَيطانٍ؟ !


فَقالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: أما تَقرَأُ قَولَ اللهِ: (وَ شارِكْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْوالِ وَ الْأَوْلادِ)


103. عنه عليه السلام: مَن لَؤُمَ ساءَ ميلادُهُ


104. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: لا يُبغِضُنا إلّا مَن خَبُثَت وِلادَتُهُ، أو حَمَلَت بِهِ امُّهُ في حَيضِها



4.3: The Harm of Copulating with a Woman during her Menses


“They ask you concerning [intercourse during] menses. Say: ‘It is hurtful.’ So keep away from [intercourse with] wives during the menses, and do not approach them till they are clean. And when they become clean, go into them as Allah has commanded you. Indeed Allah loves the penitent and He loves those who keep clean.”
15



105. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“He who has intercourse with his wife while she is in her menses and his child is born with leprosy or alphosis, he should not blame anyone other than himself.”
16



106. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“My Nation! Indeed Allah the Blessed and Supreme dislikes you to have any of twenty four characteristics and He has reproached you about them: …He dislikes a man to copulate with his wife while she is in her menses, and if he was to copulate her and the child is born with leprosy or alphosis, he should not blame anyone other than himself.”
17



107. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“If someone was to have intercourse with his wife while she is in her menses and then a child is born to them who is afflicted with leprosy, he should not blame anyone other than himself.”
18



108. al-Kafi, narrating from ‘Adhafir al-Sayrafi who said:“Abu ‘Abdullah [al-Sadiq] (a.s.) said: “Do you see these repulsive looking people?”



I said:“Yes.”



He said:“It is because their fathers had intercourse with their mothers while they were in their menses.”
1920



مَضَارٌّ وَطءِ الحائِضِ


‏


وَ يَسْئَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ قُلْ هُوَ أَذىً فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّساءَ فِي


الْمَحِيضِ وَ لا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّى يَطْهُرْنَ فَإِذا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ


مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ)


105. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله‏ مَن جامَعَ امرَأَتَهُ وهِيَ حائِضٌ فَخَرَجَ الوَلَدُ مَجذوماً أو أبرَصَ فَلا يَلومَنَّ إلّا نَفسَهُ


106. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: إنَّ اللهَ تَبارَكَ و تَعالى كَرِه لَكُم أيَّتُها الامَّةُ أربَعاً وعِشرينَ خَصلَةً، ونَهاكُم عَنها: كَرِهَ لِلرَّجُلِ أن يَغشَى امرَأَتَهُ و هِيَ حائِضٌ، فَإِن غَشِيَها فَخَرَجَ‏


الوَلَدُ مَجذوما أو أبرَصَ فَلا يَلومَنَّ إلّا نَفسَهُ


107. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن وَطِئَ امرَأَتَهُ و هِيَ حائِضٌ فَقُضِيَ بَينَهُما وَلَدٌ فأصابَهُ جُذامٌ فَلا يَلومَنَّ إلّا نَفسَهُ


108. الكافي عن عذافر الصيرفي: قالَ أبو عَبدِ اللهِ عليه السلام: تَرى‏ هؤُلاءِ المُشَوَّهينَ خَلقُهُم؟ قالَ: قُلتُ: نَعَم


قالَ: هؤُلاءِ الَّذينَ آباؤهُم يَأتونَ نِساءَهُم فِي الطَّمَثِ



4.4: The Blessings of Supplicating During Intercourse


109. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Be alert! If a person, at the time of approaching his wife says: ‘In the name of Allah, O Allah! Keep Satan away from us, and keep Satan away from what You have blessed us with’, and then a child is determined for them in this intercourse, Satan can never harm him.”
21



110. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“O ‘Ali! If you were to have intercourse, say: ‘In the name of Allah. O Allah! Keep Satan away from us and keep him away from what you have blessed me with’, and if it is destined that a child is conceived from you two, Satan will never harm him.”
22



111. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said:“If a man intends to have intercourse with his wife, he should say: ‘O’ Allah! I made her private part lawful [for myself] by Your command and I accepted her as a trust from you. So, if You have destined a child from her for me, make him a healthy son; and do not allow Satan to have a share in him nor any partnership.”
23



112. Imam al-Baqir (a.s.) said:“If you intend to have a child, then say at the time of copulation: “O Allah! Bless me with a child and make him pious, with no additional or missing organs [physically healthy] and make his ending a good one.”
24



113. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“He who desires his wife to become pregnant, he should perform a two- unit prayer with long bowing and prostration after his Friday prayers, and then say: “O Allah! I beseech You the same thing that Zachariah asked You. O Lord! Do not leave me alone, for You are the best of inheritors! O’ Allah! Bestow upon me from You a pure offspring, indeed You are the hearer of prayers. O’ Allah! By Your name I made her lawful for me and I took her as a trust from You. So, if You have decreed a child in her womb, make him a blessed pure son and do not allow Satan to be a share or partner in him.”
25



114. Tafsir al-’Ayyashi, narrating from Sulayman ibn Khalid who said:“I asked Abu ‘Abdullah [al-Sadiq] (a.s.) what the meaning was of Allah’s saying: ‘…and share with them in wealth and children…?’ He (a.s.) answered: “In this regard, you must say: “I seek refuge in Allah the All-hearing, the All-knowing from the accursed Satan.”
26



بَرَكاتُ الدُّعاءِ عِنْدَ الجِماعِ‏


109. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: أما لَو أنَّ أحَدَهُم يَقولُ حِينَ يَأتي أهلَهُ: «بِسمِ اللهِ، اللّهُمَّ جَنِّبني الشَّيطانَ، و جَنِّبِ الشَّيطانَ ما رَزَقتَنا» ثُمَّ قُدِّرَ بَينَهما فِي ذلِكَ أو قُضِيَ وَلَدٌ


110. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: يا عَلِيُ، إذا جامَعتَ فَقُل: «بِسمِ اللهِ، اللّهُمَّ جَنِّبنَا الشَّيطانَ و جَنِّبِ الشَّيطانَ ما رَزَقتَني»، فَإِن قُضِيَ أن يَكونَ بَينَكُما وَلَدٌ لَم يَضُرَّهُ الشَّيطانُ أبَداً


111. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: إذا أرادَ أحَدُكُم مُجامَعَةَ زَوجَتِهِ فَليَقُل: اللّهُمَّ إنّي استَحلَلتُ فَرجَها بِأَمرِكَ، و قَبِلتُها بِأَمانَتِكَ، فَإِن قَضَيتَ لي مِنها وَلَداً فَاجعَلهُ ذَكَراً سَوِيّاً، و لا تَجعَل‏ لِلشَّيطانِ فيهِ نَصيبا و لا شَريكاً


112. الإمام الباقر عليه السلام: إذا أرَدتَ الوَلَدَ فَقُل عِندَ الجِماعِ: اللّهُمَّ ارزُقني وَلَداً، وَ اجَعَلهُ تَقِيّاً لَيسَ في خَلقِهِ زِيادَةٌ و لا نُقصانٌ، وَ اجعَل عاقِبَتَهُ إلى خَيرٍ


113. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: مَن أرادَ أن يُحبَلَ لَهُ فَليُصَلِّ رَكعَتَينِ بَعدَ الجُمعَةِ، يُطيلُ فيهِمَا الرُّكوعَ وَ السُّجودَ، ثُمَّ يَقولُ: اللّهُمَّ إنّي أَسأَلُكَ بِما سَأَلَكَ بِهِ زَكرِيّا، يا رَبِّ لا تَذَرنِي فَردا و أنتَ خَيرُ الوارِثينَ، اللّهُمَّ هَب لي مِن لَدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً، إنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعاءِ، اللّهُمَّ بِاسمِكَ استَحلَلتُها، و في أمانَتِكَ أخَذتُها، فَإِن قَضَيتَ في رَحِمِها وَلَدا فَاجعَلهُ غُلاما مُبارَكا زَكِيّا، و لا تَجعَل لِلشَّيطانِ فيهِ شِركا و لا نَصيبا


114. تفسير العيّاشي عن سليمان بن خالد: قُلتُ لِأبي عَبدِ اللهِ عليه السلام: ما قَولُ اللهِ: «شَارِكْهُمْ فِى الْاءَمْوَ لِ وَ الْاءَوْلَدِ»؟ قالَ: فَقالَ: قُل في ذلِكَ قَولًا: أَعوذُ بِاللهِ السَّميعِ العَليمِ مِنَ الشَّيطانِ الرَّجيمِ



4.5: The Role of the Conditions on the Formation of the Life-germ


115. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“It is not good for a man to associate with his wife after he has had a wet dream until he performs his ritual bath from the wet dream he saw, but if he was to do so [copulate before having bath] and the child was born insane, he should not blame anyone other than himself.”
27



116. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“If any of you was to copulate with his wife, he must cover himself, for if he does not cover himself, the angels will become shy and leave, and Satan will be present, and so if a child is conceived from them, Satan has a share in him.”
28



117. Imam al-Ridha (a.s.) said:“Having intercourse after intercourse without a ritual bath in between will cause insanity in the child [conceived from it].”
29



118. Imam al-Ridha (a.s.) said:“Do not have intercourse with women at the beginning of the night, in neither winter or summer, as the stomach and veins are full and it is not an appropriate act. There is also the fear of colic, chin-trembling gout, renal calculus, urine distillation, hernia, poor eyesight and weak memory. So, if you intend to have intercourse, it must be at the end of the night, for it is healthier for the body and more hopeful for the child [being conceived], and it is better for the increase of intelligence of the child that is conceived between them.”
30
,31



دَوْرُ الأَحْوالِ فِي انْعِقادِ النُّطفَةِ


115. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: يُكرَهُ أن يَغشَى الرَّجُلُ المَرأَةَ و قَدِ احتَلَمَ حَتّى يَغتَسِلَ مِنِ احتِلامِهِ الَّذي رَأى، فَإن فَعَلَ و خَرَجَ الوَلَدُ مَجنوناً فَلا يَلومَنَّ إلّا نَفسَهُ


116. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله‏ إذا أتى‏ أحَدُكُم أهلَهُ فَليَستَتِر؛ فَإِنَّهُ إذا لَم يَستَتِر استَحيَتِ المَلائِكَةُ و خَرَجَت، و حَضَرَهُ الشَّيطانُ، فَإذا كانَ بَينَهُما وَلَدٌ كانَ الشَّيطانُ فيهِ شَريكٌ‏


117. الإمام الرضا عليه السلام‏ الجِماعُ بَعدَ الجِماعِ مِن غَيرِ أن يَكونَ بَينَهُما غُسلٌ يُورِثُ لِلوَلَدِ الجُنونَ


118. عنه عليه السلام: لا تَقرَبِ النِّساءَ في أوَّلِ اللَّيلِ لا شِتاءً و لا صَيفاً، و ذلِكَ أنَّ المَعِدَةَ وَ العُروقَ تَكونُ مُمتَلِئَةً و هُوَ غَيرُ مَحمودٍ، يُتَخَوَّفُ مِنهُ القولَنجُ‏ وَ الفالِجُ، و اللَّقوَةُ، و النِّقرِسُ، و الحَصاةُ، و التَّقطِيرُ، وَ الفَتقُ وَ ضَعفُ البَصَرِ و الدِّماغِ


فَإِذا أُريدَ ذلِكَ فَليَكُن في آخِرِ اللَّيلِ؛ فَإِنَّهُ أصَحُّ لِلبَدَنِ، و أرجى‏ لِلوَلَدِ، وَ أذكى‏ لِلعَقلِ فِي الوَلَدِ الَّذي يُقضى‏ بَينهُما



Notes


1. Ma’ani al-Akhbar, p. 161, h. 1. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, p. 141, h. 1. al-Mahasin, vol. 1, p. 232, h. 419.


2. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, p. 145, h. 12. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 39, p. 301, h. 110.


3. Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 4758.


4. al-Mahasin, vol. 1, p. 233, h. 423, narrating from Sadit al-Sayrafi. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 4, p. 287, h. 10.


5. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, p. 564, h. 1, narrating from Sa’d ibn ‘Umar al-Jallab. al-Mahasin, vol. 1, p. 233, h. 424, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn Sinan.


6. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 493, h. 4745. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, p. 142, h. 5, narrating from al-Mufaddal ibn ‘Umar.


7. Qur’an, 17:64.


8. al-Firdaws, vol. 2, p. 200, h, narrating from Abu Hurayrah. 2992. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 3, p. 3, h. 5136.


9. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, p. 142, h. 6, narrating from Um Salamah. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 27, p. 151, h. 19.


10. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 3, p. 126, h. 5795, narrating from Abu al-Shaikh from Abu Hurayrah.


11. Usd al-Ghabah, vol. 2, p. 643, h. 2461. al-Firdaws, vol. 3, p. 623, h. 5947. Both narraiting fron Showayfa’. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 3, p. 125, h. 5794, narrating from al-Tabarani.


12. al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 323, h. 3, narrating from Sulaym ibn Qays from Imam ‘Ali (a.s.). al-Zuhd, p. 7, h. 12, narrating from sulaym ibn Qays from Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) from the Prophet (s.a.w.).


13. Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 7817.


14. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 1, p. 96, h. 203.


15. Qur’an, 2:222.


16. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 1, p. 96, h. 201. Makarim al-Akhlaq, vol. 1, p. 459, h. 1557.


17. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 556, h. 4914. al-Khisal, p. 520, h. 9. al-Amali, by al-Saduq, p. 378, h. 478. All narrating from al-Husayn ibn Zaid from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.).


18. al-Mu’jam al-Awsat, vol. 3, p. 326, h. 3300, narrating from Abu Hurayrah. Kanz al-‘Ummal, vol. 16, p. 352, h. 44885.


19. al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 539, h. 5. ‘Ilal al-Shara’i’, p. 82, h. 1, narrating from Ibn Abu ‘Adhafir al-Sayrafi.


20. What we can conclude from this set of traditions is that sexual intercourse and becoming pregnant during the period of menstruation can be one reason for having repulsive features or being afflicted with leprosy or alphosis, but it’s not the only factor. Therefore, we cannot say that any child afflicted with any of the above diseases is the result of having unlawful intercourse. There is no clear mentioning in the traditions that could answer as to whether intercourse during the state of menstruation leads to these consequences or not, but rather the negation of these things can be concluded, and scientific research can be helpful in this regard.


21. Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 5, p. 1982 h. 4870. Sunan Ibn Majah, vol. 1, p. 618, h. 1919. Musnad Ibn Hanbal, vol. 1, p. 465, h. 1867. All narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas.


22. Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 12. al-Ikhtisas, p. 134 h. 115, narrating from al-Khudri.


23. al-Khisal, p. 637, h. 10, narrating from Abu Basir and Muhammad ibn Muslim from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.). Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 125. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 10, p. 115, h. 1.


24. al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 10, h. 12. Tahdhib al-Ahkam, vol. 7, p. 411, h. 1641. Both narrating from Muhammad ibn Muslim.


25. al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 8, h. 3. Tahdhib al-Ahkam, vol. 3, p. 315, h. 974. narrating from Muhammad ibn Muslim.


26. Tafsir al-’Ayyashi, vol. 2, p. 300, h. 107. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 103, p. 294 h. 47.


27. Tahdhib al-Ahkam, vol. 7, p. 412, h. 1646, narrating from Muhammad ibn al-’Is from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 557, h. 4914, narrating from al-Husayn ibn Zaid ibn ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn (a.s.) from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.) from the Prophet (s.a.w.).


28. al-Mu’jam al-Awsat, vol. 1, p. 63, h. 176, narrating from Abu Hurayrah. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 343, h. 44835.


29. Tibb al-Imam al-Ridha (a.s.), p. 28. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 62, p. 321.


30. Tibb al-Imam al-Ridha (a.s.), p. 64. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 62, p. 327.


31. It must be said that the role of the different states and times of sexual intercourse in the destiny of the child mentioned in these traditions apparently means that they have a partial effect, and it is not the complete cause. And Allah knows best.

	

	
	



	

		

Section 2: The Rights of Children


Introduction:


Chapter one: The rights of a Newborn


Chapter two: The rights of a Suckling Infant


Chapter three: Education


Chapter four: Learning and Education


Chapter five: Adorning and Playing


Chapter six: Supplication

	

	
	



	

		

Introduction


Through studying the teachings of the holy infallibles (a.s.) regarding the rights of a newborn, one can conclude that a child in this stage has eight rights upon his family. These rights are as follows:



1- Honouring the Birth


The day that Allah Almighty bestows a blessing upon a person is a day of festivity,1
being auspicious and blessed. A newborn is a great bounty for a family, and in reality a birthday party is a form of expressing gratitude for this great divine blessing. To congratulate and giving a banquet in honour of the newborn is also something highly recommended to do.


Remembering birthdays is to honour the divine blessing of the human being coming into existence. The newborn is brought into this world by Allah as a glorious blessing upon its family.


The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) once asked Imam ‘Ali (a.s.):“What is the first blessing that Allah gave you?”



Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) answered:“That He, may His tribute be glorified, created me and I was absolutely nothing.”



Therefore, occasions such as birthdays or celebrating reaching the age of maturity (taklif) with the purpose of giving thanks for Allah’s blessings are good and commendable customs to observe, even though there is no particular evidence to indicate it is religiously recommended (mustahab).



2- Bathing the Newborn


2- Bathing the Newborn2



There are a few notable points in regards to washing a newborn child:


A) What is meant here in bathing is not simply washing, but a ritual religious bathing. Accordingly, the person who bathes the baby must observe the rulings of ritual bathing, as in the intention and the order of washing the parts.


B) This bathing is recommended, provided it does not harm the newborn in any way.3



C) The act of bathing the newborn is recommended to be done at the time of birth, and it is permissible to delay it for up to three days.4



D) Some of the early jurists viewed that the ritual bathing of a newborn is obligatory.5




3- Reciting Adhan and Iqamah in the Newborn’s ears


Here are some following points important in this regard:


A) The Adhan must be recited in the right ear of the newborn, and the Iqamah in the left ear.


B) It is stated in some narrations that the time of reciting the Adhan and Iqamah in the ears of the newborn is after hearing it cry, and, in some other narrations it says that it is recommended to be done before the umbilical cord is cut.


C) This Islamic tradition indicates that the first sounds a baby hears play an important role in the nature of the child, and which also has many effects on his upbringing and future.



4- Feeding the Newborn for the First Time


This means that it is recommended to mix a very small amount of the soil of Karbala with some water from the Euphrates6
and put in the newborn’s mouth.


The reason for doing so is that performing such an act will influence the child’s aspiration to seek truth, justice and love for Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), penetrating in newborn’s soul from the very beginning of his life, as has been mentioned in some traditions.7



The recommendation of other things like feeding the baby with rain water, warm water, dates and honey before anything else have also been mentioned in some traditions. Therefore, if possible, it is better to combine and mix honey, dates and some rain water or water from the Euphrates and then given to the baby.8



This also indicates that the first food given to the newborn, like the first voices the newborn hears, play an effective role in the fate of the child.



5- Choosing a Good Name


According to the traditions in Islam, choosing a good name for the newborn is considered as the first benevolent act the family performs for the child. It is imperative that through the guidelines set out by the Leaders of Islam, Muslim families must choose the best names for their children. These statements of guidance are:


A) Families can choose any good name for their child.


B) The best names are those which indicate the servitude and relation of a person to his Creator.


C) The best names are the names of the holy prophets, the infallibles and religious figures in Islam, and the best of all is the name Muhammad.


D) For those who Allah Almighty has granted four sons, it is blameworthy if they do not name one of them Muhammad.


E) Choosing a name for a child should be done before its birth, and if it is not known what the sex of the newborn is, they may choose a name which is appropriate to both.9
Of course, there is no problem in changing the name after the delivery.


F) It is recommended that after a boy is born to name him Muhammad for the first seven days, and then the parents may choose any other name they wish.


G) Certain names like Muhammad and Fatimah have special rights and respect that must be observed because of their connection with great Islamic characters.


H) There are some names that are reprehensible (makruh) because they symbolised the wrong and injustice, like: Shahab, Hariq, Hubab, Kalb, Firar, Harb, and Zalim.


I) It is reprehensible to put names that indicate pride, or something that’s negation in a conversation is considered as a bad omen, such as: Mubarak – the blessed, in which its negation is ‘the unblessed’.


J) The names that are befitting only to Allah, the Exalted, (like Quddus, Hakam, and Khaliq) should not be used as the name of someone, to which some jurists have considered this as prohibited.



6- Shaving the Newborn’s Head


It is a recommended act to shave the hair on the head of a newborn on the seventh day after the birth and donate its equal weight in gold or silver for charity, and there is no difference as to whether the newborn is a girl or a boy.



7- To Offer a Sacrifice for the Newborn


Performing a ‘Aqiqah is the sacrificing of a sheep10
to feed people upon the birth of a child.11



The things that must be observed in this regard are:


A) To offer a sacrifice for a child is a highly recommended act, and some jurists12
have even considered it obligatory.


B) It is recommended that the offering for a boy should be a male sheep and for a girl a female sheep.


C) The time of sacrifice is to be done on the seventh day after the birth, and if it is delayed any time after that it will still remain as a recommended practice. If the parents did not perform the ‘Aqiqah for the child, it is recommended that the child himself does so when he becomes mature.


D) It is recommended that the meat of the sacrifice be divided among the believers and to pray for the baby, but it is better to cook the meat and invite at least ten persons to eat and pray for the newborn.


E) It is recommended when cutting up the ‘Aqiqah not to break the bones. Another recommendation is that one leg and thigh, or rather one fourth of the sacrifice should be given to the midwife.


F) It is reprehensible for the parents and those supported by the father, not to eat from the offering, in particular the mother.13



G) It is recommended to recite the special supplication for the ‘Aqiqah while it is being slaughtered. The supplications narrated from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) in this regard are abundant.14




8- Circumcision of the Baby


It is a recommended act to circumcise the newborn boy on the seventh day after his birth, and it is permissible to delay it until up to the age of puberty. It is of precaution that the child’s parents would get him circumcised before puberty, but after puberty it is an urgent obligation and delaying it is not permissible.


It is also recommended that at the time of the act of circumcising the child, the related supplication should be recited.15




Notes


1. The Arabic word ‘Id is derived from the root ‘awada which means ‘to return’, so the day on which missed out blessings are return to a person or to the society is called a festive day. However, this word gradually became used used for any auspicious or blessed day. The greater the blessing of Allah is, the festive is more magnificent and glorious with greater joy and happiness. Based on this definition, each day that a man does not commit a sin is counted a day of festivity for him. In this regard Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) has said:“Every day in which Allah is not disobeyed in is a festive ‘Id day.”



2. Some jurists have presumed that what is meant is the general washing and cleaning of the newborn. Refer to: Jawahir al-Kalam, vol. 5, p. 71.


3. Tahrir al-Wasilah, vol. 2, p. 31.


4. al-’Urwah al-Wuthqa, vol. 2, p. 157.


5. Jawahir al-Kalam, vol. 5, p. 71.


6. Refer to h. 143-145.


7. Refer to h. 142.


8. Jawahir al-Kalam, vol. 31, p. 253.


9. Refer to h. 148.


10. A goat, cow, or a camel can also be sacrificed, and it is recommended to observe all rulings of slaughtering in them.


11. Tahrir al-Wasilah, vol. 2, p. 316.


12. Like Askafi, Sayyid Murtada and Fayz Kashani. Ahkam al-Atfal, p. 196.


13. Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, vol. 21, p. 428.


14. Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, vol. 15, p. 426-428.


15. Refer to page 115, h. 193.

	

	
	




				

			



	

		

The Eighth Talk



1. Cultivating The Habit Of Sin


The things that become the cause of departure of Allah's blessings from a person or a household are the sins that are perpetrated within in. There are many types of sins. Sins are categorized into major and minor. But this categorization is not the subject of discussion here. Sins are also categorized into 'permanent' and 'temporary' sins. Sometimes a person commits a sin, for example, he tells a lie. This is a forbidden act and he must repent and make efforts not to repeat it. On repenting, it goes into the category of temporary sins. But if the person becomes a compulsive liar and keeps telling lies again and again, he renders himself a permanent sinner. If a person always talks ill of others, regularly gossips, is always finding faults in others and is a habitual oppressor - this type of sinning is so dangerous that the Holy Quran says:


   
ثُمَّ كاَنَ عَقِبَةَ الَّذِينَ أَسَُواْ السُّوأَى أَن كَذَّبُواْ بَِايَتِ اللَّهِ وَ كاَنُواْ بهَِا يَسْتَهْزِءُون



Then evil was the consequence to those who dealt in evil because they denied the revelations of Allah and made a mock of them. (Sura ar-Rum, 30: 10)


Those who commit sins as a habit must beware and forsake this habit. These sinners come to such a pass that they start ridiculing the Ulama, the minbar and the mehrab! They even start denying the verses of the Holy Book!


Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) says that when a person commits a sin, a black spot appears in his heart. If the person repents, this black spot disappears. But if he continues sinning, unrepentant, then the black spot starts spreading, and the darkness of sins surrounds the whole heart, which can never be rectified. As good Muslims we must all try to refrain from sinning. Due to our fallible nature, if we commit a sin then immediate repentance is the only remedy, along with the determination not to repeat the act again.


There is another category of sins: When a man commits sins, he should realize that he is committing a great wrong. For example when a man looks at a namahram female, he should experience an uneasiness within himself. If he tells a lie or backbites, he should also realize that he is committing a great wrong. Sometimes this realization that he is committing a great offense also goes away. This happens when a person sins repeatedly. When a person commits sins again and again, the instinct that reminds him that he is sinning becomes dormant thus rendering him a perpetual sinner. When this feeling is lost, it is worst than repeating sins, because at this stage the chances of repentance and reform remain very slim.



2. Abandoning The Veil Is A Moral Exhibitionism


Once at a marriage party a lady came dressed improperly. She knew that this was a wrong thing to do. Later, if she regrets her action, repents cries out to her Lord, and tries to mend her ways, then it is good. But if she continues with this improper style of dressing, it will, slowly, become her habit. In all respects she is a decent person. It upsets her to even hear about sexual deviations. If she hears that someone has committed adultery, she criticizes them and acknowledges it as a great wrong. But this improperly dressed lady herself is committing a greater offence. When she applies makeup, wears sleeveless blouses and transparent stockings, and then goes to shops, without hijab, talks and laughs, her act is worse than committing adultery. The reason for this is she has been shameless, which is a sin bigger than adultery itself. The Holy Quran says:


   
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يحُِبُّونَ أَن تَشِيعَ الْفَحِشَةُ فىِ الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لهَُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ فىِ الدُّنْيَا وَ الاَْخِرَة



Lo! Those who love that slander should be spread concerning those who believe, theirs will be a painful punishment in the world and the Hereafter... (Sura An-Nur, 24 : 19)


Those who adopt such shameless and uncouth ways and promote such habits, for example, a youth taking pleasure in staring at namahram young girls, or a repair-man on a house visit, talks to the ladies of the house, who in turn joke and laugh with him. The Quran says that such shameless friendliness invites double punishment. This is sin more serious than committing adultery. The Holy Quran says in this regard:


   
وَ مَن يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًا



..... and whoso doth this shall pay the penalty.( Sura al- Furqan, 25: 68)


A person who presents himself for adultery, or does the act, will, in both situations, qualify himself to go to the Hell, and remain there permanently. He will not only go to the Hell but will get the most horrible treatment therein. It is said in the traditions that the person who offers himself for adultery, or perpetrates the act in this world will have such stench emanating from his private part that the other inhabitants of the Hell will get disturbed. But the sin of shamelessness is an even bigger sin. Women who don't cover their heads in public, wear half-sleeve blouses, transparent stockings and then walk in the streets in full view of namahram men, or travel by public transport tempt others to emulate them. These women not only adopt sinful ways, but set a bad example for others to follow. She goes shopping and the shopkeeper instead of advising her appropriately, talks to her. Sometimes we find that a woman is chaste and upright, but she does not realize the gravity of her sin. Coming in front of namahram and talking to them is something very normal for her. She converses freely with her husband's elder and younger brothers, she exposes her arms and hair in their presence. She must mend her ways and express repentance over such acts of the past. What is very regrettable is that we become oblivious of the fact that we have adopted sinful ways. We even fail to realize that we are doing something wrong. I very fervently appeal to the ladies that they should avoid unnecessarily going to the bazaar and the malls. If they have to go out, then they should be properly dressed and covered.


Amir al Mu’minin (a.s.) says that a time will come for the followers of the Prophet (s) that women will wear transparent stockings and roam about on the streets. He further said that when such things happen, it will be the period of intrigue and turmoil. Such women will be consigned to Hell, where they will remain for eternity. They will face retribution there for thousands of years. The women, therefore, should take special care of their dress. If they wish to wear flimsy stockings, they should fold them twice to ensure that their limbs are not exposed to strange eyes. If the sleeves of their blouse are short, they should ensure to change into a proper garment while going out or else cover their arms properly. When a lady goes to a shop, and pays the shopkeeper, she should not forget that she is a namahram for him. If she has to talk to the shopkeeper she should not prolong the conversation, but keep it to the point.



3. The Second Trait


A second, and positive, trait of a good lady is that she remains aloof in the presence of namahram males. When she talks to them, she gives short answers. Laughing and joking in front of namahram is a sin. The late Kulaini writes a back-breaking narrative in al-Kaafi that Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) said if a woman narrates a lewd joke to a strange man, as a retribution for the act, she will be consigned to the Hell for one hundred years! Businessmen should be careful. If their wealth that comes from such sources is spent in their home, their homes cannot be blessed abodes.



4. To Make Excuses For Sin


A person commits a sin, accepts that he has sinned, but then tries to condone it by making some excuse. This is a very dangerous situation. Some women expose their faces in public places and wear improper dresses and then condone it by saying this is progressiveness and liberation. In the name of modernity, some people converse freely and joke with namahram women and backbite. Some men create dissensions in the society through gossip and falsehood terming it as political expedient. Such irresponsible acts fall in the category of gheebah (backbiting) and will attract acute retribution.


Therefore I appeal to you that there should be no sins in your life. A sin whether big or small brings about degradation for man. The second appeal I make to you is that dread of sinning should never leave your heart. Even after due care, if one commits a sin, he should not try to condone it. If the fear of sin is not there in the heart of a person and he falls into the habit of making excuses for and condoning such acts, then he can never be repentant in his life. He renders himself a compulsive sinner. Such persons can never hope to get the intercession of the Ahl al Bayt on the Day of Judgment!


I would like to draw the attention to another thing that is seen in every household. It is to be found amongst the businessmen as well as the laborers, the educated and the illiterate, the revolutionary and the non-revolutionary. The dread of this sin has left our hearts and we even make excuses for it. Even if we shed tears of blood over this problem it will not be enough of repentance. This is the bad habit of backbiting and slandering. Similarly people indulge in sins like listening to music and songs; seeing passionate videos and pornographic films etc.one can only pity the homes where there is music and lewd things. It is not I who is using this word pity but it is the word used by Imam Jafar al Sadiq (a.s.). A person came to the Imam (a.s.) and said, “O son of the Prophet (s)! There is no music in my house, or dance! But my neighbor has employed a dancing girl who dances and sings. When I go to my toilet, I listen to her singing for a while! What effect it will have on me?" The Imam (a.s.) replied, “Pity on you! Go and have a ghusl (bath) of repentance! Offer a prayer and then repent" Then Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) added, "Music and dance is not compatible with our Shia households!"


Definitely amoral films, music and dance are not compatible with our households! The children, who are raised in homes where these things are common, can only be pitied! As said by the Prophet (s) Satans live in such homes and these are devoid of Allah's blessings and the presence of the angels!



5. Backbiting And Slander


I am mentioning two things with a lot of regret. There are very few homes where backbiting and slander, spreading of rumors and lies don't exist. These are major sins. The consequences of these habits, according to the Holy Quran, are very serious.


   
وَيْلٌ لِّكُلّ‏ِ هُمَزَةٍ لُّمَزَة



Woe to every scandal-monger and slanderer. (Sura Humaza, 104: 1)


Woe be to the person who searches for faults of people in front of them. For example, a wife has prepared the food that the husband has not liked. In such an event, he starts ridiculing the wife. Or when a husband buys something and brings it home and the wife doesn't approve of it, she starts criticizing it severely. The Holy Quran disapproves of such persons. They should know that they will be consigned to the Hell where not only their skins, but their very bones will burn! The same goes for gheebah. Backbiting is tantamount to eating a mu'min brother’s flesh. Do not backbite. Backbiting is like eating the flesh of dead animals. There can be no felicity, no piety and no mercy of Allah in homes where carrion is eaten and where dogs are raised.


There is a tradition quoted from Imam Husayn (a.s.) which is also quoted in Tohaf al Uqool from Imam Zain al Abedeen (a.s.):


Backbiting is the food of the dogs of Hell


The meaning of this saying of the Imam (a.s.) is that a person, who backbites again and again, becomes a habitual backbiter. The backbiter goes to the Hell in the form of a dog. When these dogs become hungry, according to Imam Husayn (a.s.) and Imam Sajjad (a.s.), they are fed with the backbiting they had done in the world in the form of rotten, foul smelling, putrefied fleash! It is a pity, that in most of our homes, people indulge in backbiting. Which is the home where people don't ridicule their friends behind their backs?!


O ladies! Don't be harsh while dealing with your children. Be especially mindful about respecting the children. If, their feelings are hurt and they start speaking ill of you behind your back, the fear of the sin of gheebah will leave their hearts, and they will fall into the habit of sinning. Then, they forget the norms of decency and turn into beasts. Slander is falsely attributing something to a person, behind his back. The difference between backbiting and slander is that in the case of the former, one takes pleasure in recounting the person's failing behind his back. In the case of the latter, the slanderer concocts false stories about the person in his absence.


It is observed in our society that when a person is backbiting, and someone forbids him to do so, the backbiter retorts that the person about whom he is backbiting does in fact have this shortcoming. This is a satanic talk. If a person does indeed have the fault about which you are talking in his absence, it is backbiting. If you backbite you will be turned into a dog. If there is no fault in a person that you attribute to him, then it is downright slander. Do you know about the retribution for these sins?


   
إِنَّمَا يَفْترَِى الْكَذِبَ الَّذِينَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ بَِايَتِ اللَّهِ وَ أُوْلَئكَ هُمُ الْكَذِبُون



Only they invent falsehoods who believe not Allah's revelations, and (only) they are the liars. (Sura al Nahl, 16: 105)


The Holy Quran asserts that those who blame each other falsely are not Muslims. They are downright liars.


Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) says that those who practice slander will be stationed in putrid pools of their own blood. They will stand in there for fifty thousand years, till everyone has given their accounts. Then in a state of humiliation, these people will be taken to Hell. I regret to say here, that most of our homes are the abodes of slanderers. The angels see your house in its true form. You cannot see it, but they can see that your house is full of filth and blood. With our limited vision we are unable to see this awful state of affairs! The angels don’t even want to look at your home, because your house is overflowing with blood. When did this happen? When the inhabitants of the house did not repent to undo the damage. The filth and blood of Qiyamah is prepared in this world. When you were backbiting in the world, it gave rise to this filth. On the day of Qiyamah you will have to stand on this very filth. The vision of people will be very sharp on the Day of Judgment. They will be able to clearly see the filth and gore surrounding them! We should take utmost care to see that we don't attribute anything to a person without making sure of the truth in the matter. Is there anyone in our midst who can say with confidence that he neither listens to any talk about any person without positive proof nor does he say anything about a person unless he is sure of the veracity of what he says! We are such people that even while fasting we indulge in slanderous gossip! Even if we shed tears of blood over this heinous habit, it won't be sufficient! The Holy Quran says: Pity the person who spreads false rumours. Pay attention to this sin, it is indeed a great sin. The Quran says:


   
إِذْ تَلَقَّوْنَهُ بِأَلْسِنَتِكمُ‏ْ وَ تَقُولُونَ بِأَفْوَاهِكمُ مَّا لَيْسَ لَكُم بِهِ عِلْمٌ وَ تحَْسَبُونَهُ هَيِّنًا وَ هُوَ عِندَ اللَّهِ عَظِيم



When you received it with your tongues and spoke with your mouths what you had no knowledge of, and you deemed it an easy matter while with Allah it was grevious. (Sura An-Nur, 24 : 15)


The Quran says that what you speak, and has become a habit for you, is considered an easy matter and you attach no importance to it, but remember that Allah attaches great importance to it.


   
وَ لَا تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ إِنَّ السَّمْعَ وَ الْبَصَرَ وَ الْفُؤَادَ كلُ‏ُّ أُوْلَئكَ كاَنَ عَنْهُ مَسُْولا



And pursue thou not that which thou hast not the knowledge of: Verily, the hearing and the sight and the heart, all of these shall be questioned about it. (Sura al-’Isra’, 17: 36)


Don't go after things about which you don't have absolute knowledge. Allah will question your hearts, eyes and ears about what you thought, heard and saw. The Quran tells us not to follow doubts. When you hear about something accept it only in the presence of proof. If you want to say something you must not say it unless you have evidence, failing which, be assured that your heart, your tongue, your ears will give evidence against you.


   
الْيَوْمَ نخَْتِمُ عَلىَ أَفْوَهِهِمْ وَ تُكلَِّمُنَا أَيْدِيهِمْ وَ تَشهَْدُ أَرْجُلُهُم بِمَا كاَنُواْ يَكْسِبُون



This Day We seal up mouths, and hands speak out and feet bear witness as to what they used to earn. (Sura Ya Sin, 36: 65)


On the Day of Judgment a seal will be put on the mouths. The ears and the tongues of people will bear witness against them for their misdeeds, and say that they had heard gheebah, they had uttered and accepted slander and they used to spread false rumours. Think about what you are doing in this world. The husbands have to be truthful with their wives and the wives too should be honest with the husbands. One should never resort to lies. If the chain of lies takes root in a house, then angels will abandon the place. Angels don’t enter such houses instead they curse them. It is narrated in the traditions that if a person utters one falsehood, immediately a foul smell emanates from his mouth and goes towards the Firmament and the angels start cursing him. Wives should never utter a lie to their husbands and similarly the husbands should always tell the truth to the wives. More important is that they should never resort to lying in front of the impressionable children. If parents make any promise to the children, they should ensure its fulfillment. Do not make false promises to the children. If you want to be a real Muslim, you should be truthful. Pity on the home where there exists hypocrisy, where the husband lies to his wife, and the wife lies to the husband. This house gives out a stench like that of a garbage dump. When the angels look at such homes, they curse these homes, they curse these couples and say: You are Muslims and yet you lie?


The Holy Quran says that Muslims must refrain from two things. One is that they should avoid idol worship and the second is to avoid telling lies. This means that the Holy Book places the heinous acts of idol worship on par with lying! Despite this, lying and falsehood is rampant in our homes! Our society is engulfed with this curse. A settlement where people are habitual liars sends out a foul stench towards the firmament and the angels curse such a place!

	

	
	



	

		

The Ninth Talk



1. Formation of a Household


Today's discussion is concerning the formation of the family and the importance that Islam gives to it. This is a very useful topic for discussion and I do hope that we shall be able to discuss several issues concerning our society. Formation of families gives tremendous advantages to people and the satisfaction of the sexual instinct becomes insignificant when compared to the benefits that are concomitant with the formation of the family structure. In the previous talk we have stressed the point that suppressing the sexual instinct is not right from the Islamic point of view. Satisfying the sex instinct is absolutely necessary and the benefits accruing to the family from this are very distinct. The first step for the formation of a family is to respond positively to the urge of nature because man and woman are absolutely necessary for each other. The progeny emanates from the mating of man and wife. When the human beings first set foot on the world, one woman was chosen for one man and they parented a few offspring. The first example of a human couple has been Adam (a.s.) and his wife Hawwa. If the family can give virtuous offspring to the society, then, in the eyes of Islam, there is, probably, nothing more blessed and rewarding than this act.


A verse from the Holy Quran stresses on the great value of human life:


   
مَن قَتَلَ نَفْسَا بِغَيرِْ نَفْسٍ أَوْ فَسَادٍ فىِ الْأَرْضِ فَكَأَنَّمَا قَتَلَ النَّاسَ جَمِيعًا وَ مَنْ أَحْيَاهَا فَكَأَنَّمَا أَحْيَا النَّاسَ جَمِيعًا



.....whosoever killeth a human being for other than man-slaughter or corruption in the earth, it shall be as if he had killed all mankind, and whoso saveth the life of one,it shall be as if he had saved the life of all mankind. (Sura al Maidah, 5: 32)


What we have mentioned here is the apparent meaning of the Verse. Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) has given another, finer (lateef), meaning to the verse. He says that if a person misguides a person from the right path, his sin is as severe as if he has massacred the entire population of the world. Similarly, if a person guides another person to the right path, saves him from going astray and turns him into a pious and truthful person, then the act will be equivalent to giving life to the entire population of the world.


Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) says, “Beware! Don't lead men astray with your talk. In your homes you should not implant in the minds of the children, distorted notions about the Faith, the scholars, the prayer niche and the pulpit. If you let this happen, it will be tantamount to massacring the entire population of the world. You should always use your tongue, your pen, your manners and behavior to bring people to the right path to the best of your ability. If you do this, it will be equivalent to giving life to the entire population of the world!"


The interpretation of the verse given by Imam Jafar al Sadiq (a.s.) highlights another meaning of the verse. If a husband and wife train pious offspring for the society, the reward will not only be equivalent to making a mosque or a school, nor equivalent to giving life to one or two persons, but it will be equal to giving life to the entire population of the world! The recompense for giving noble and pious offspring to the society is more than that for any other pious act. This is possible only if the family is established on the right path!


There are several traditions of the Prophet of Islam (s) and the infallible Imams on the subject. When a person dies, his actions are terminated and he will not earn any further benefits on account of his actions. But a person who has left behind Baqiyatus Salehat (pious assets), will continue to get more and more rewards. Pious and truthful offspring are included in the Baqiyatus Salehat of a person. When a person leaves behind a pious son or a daughter, and they offer prayers, recite the Holy Quran and perform other pious deeds, then the parents will share the rewards that the children earn! When a son or daughter earns reward for a good deed, an equivalent reward will be allocated for the dead parents too. The good deeds of such parents will not stop with their death!


One tradition that is very popular with both Sunni and Shia scholars is quoted by Sheikh Saduq (a.r.) in his book, Sawaab al Aamaal:


'If a person leaves behind Baqiyatus Salehat in the world like building a mosque, establishing a school, building a bridge or any other constructive activity, he will get rewards. But a better Baqiyatus Salehat is a person leaving behind pious and noble offspring in the society. In addition when the child performs any good deed, one reward is for the child himself, another is for his father and a third reward is given to his mother.'


There are umpteen traditions of this nature. Therefore people should strive to form families of a pious and noble character, so that good offspring can be turned over to the society. This is the demand of Islam, which is a faith that conforms with nature! But the enemies of humanity have, from times immemorial, perpetrated such activities that hamper the growth of pious and noble generations in the human race. The Quran says about them: mufsid fil ardh - their work is to spread mischief on the face of the earth


   
وَ مِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُعْجِبُكَ قَوْلُهُ فىِ الْحَيَوةِ الدُّنْيَا وَ يُشْهِدُ اللَّهَ عَلىَ‏ مَا فىِ قَلْبِهِ وَ هُوَ أَلَدُّ الْخِصَام



And among the people is he whose conversation on the life of this world pleases you and he calls Allah to witness as to that which is in his heart; yet he is the most rigid of opponents. (Sura al Baqarah, 2: 204)


This verse means that some people make sweet talks and win the hearts of the people till they form their own school of thought. Some examples of such persons are Marx, Freud, Nietze etc. They write books, and establish their schools of thought which then take root in the East and the West. But Allah knows what is in their hearts. The Holy Quran says that such men are the worst enemies of humanity. The Quran doesn't say that such men are enemies only of Islam. It says huwa 'aladdul-khisaam which means that they are the enemies of the human race! The Holy Quran enumerates one of their characteristics that if they are unable to usurp power, then they create discord in the minds of the people. But if they are able to attain power, then:


   
وَ إِذَا تَوَلىَ‏ سَعَى‏ فىِ الْأَرْضِ لِيُفْسِدَ فِيهَا وَ يُهْلِكَ الْحَرْثَ وَ النَّسْلَ وَ اللَّهُ لَا يحُِبُّ الْفَسَاد



And when he turneth away (from thee) his effort in the land is to make mischief therein and to destroy the crops and the cattle; and Allah loveth not mischief. (Sura al Baqarah, 2: 205)


When they attain power, they misguide people. They loot assets and destroy entire generations. The same thing happened with Iran after the Revolution. The American bred dog attacked hapless populations in the villages and perpetrated general massacre. He not only destroyed the buildings and mosques, but also uprooted the trees and destroyed crops. Quran says, yuhlikal harsa wan-nasl, meaning that when aggressors like Saddam get power, they lead the people astray or massacre people. Their aim is always to destroy the habitations.


Another meaning of the verse is that those who are the enemies of humanity try to mislead the young generations. They entice women to discard their hijab. In the name of progress they introduce forbidden habits in the society. They misguide men into forbidden ways. They make people engrossed in serving their selfish ends and satisfying their base desires, and thus the present generation is destroyed. This way they ensure that not only the present generation is ruined but the future generations, too, are destroyed. This is the reason that they work more in the schools, colleges and the universities. They try to keep the children away from the pulpit and the mosque. If they don't succeed with their foul motives on the present generation, they turn their attention to ruining the future generations. Russel is a well known British philosopher. The world recognizes him as a philosopher of high caliber. He very foolishly thought it unnecessary to have a family. Even the Pharoah was of the same opinion. But the Quran says


   
إِنَّ فِرْعَوْنَ عَلَا فىِ الْأَرْضِ وَ جَعَلَ أَهْلَهَا شِيَعًا يَسْتَضْعِفُ طَائفَةً مِّنهُْمْ يُذَبِّحُ أَبْنَاءَهُمْ وَ يَسْتَحْىِ نِسَاءَهُمْ إِنَّهُ كاَنَ مِنَ الْمُفْسِدِين



Lo! Pharaoh exalted himself in the earth and made its people castes. A tribe among them he oppressed, killing their sons and sparing their women. Lo! he was of those who work corruption. (Sura al Qasas, 28: 4)


Pharaoh was an evil person. He created major problems for the Bani Israel when he established power over them. First he created differences amongst the people, and thus ensured his own success. Generally all the commentators of the Holy Quran interpret the words, yudhabbihu 'abnaaa-'ahum, to mean that he arranged killing of all new-born males to ensure that Prophet Musa (a.s.) was prevented from coming in the world! He left the new-born females of the tribe unharmed. But some researchers interpret the verse saying that Pharaoh did this to demoralize men and make the women shameless and hand them over to the society as play-things!


One act of Pharaoh was to destroy the future generations of Bani Israel. His plan was to make the women totally shameless. Pity on the society in which women render themselves shameless! We read in the traditions that haya (shame) or bashfulness is divided into ten parts. Nine are for women and only one for men. It is a shame for a society where all the nine parts of modesty in women disappear. That is the stage when a woman wears perfume and comes out in public, scantily dressed. So shameless does she become that she exposes her face and bares her bosom. In this condition she moves about in the bazaar or goes to a shop, talking and laughing with namahrams. Shame on such a society and more shame on such women! Pharaoh was enforcing these shameful things to strengthen his hold over the tribe of Bani Israel and to weaken their future generation. Today's exploiters too have similar plans to destroy the coming generations.



2. Modesty And Bashfulness


When these people succeed in their nefarious schemes, they destroy modesty and bashfulness in women. They involve the women in sensual acts and destroy the manliness of men. A father sees namahram males eyeing his daughter sensually, but it does not affect him. Men see their wives, daughters and sisters going to the market in see-through dresses, without hijab, they know that their women have dressed up for others. When a society comes to this pass, we should offer a silent prayer for it! You might wonder why the autocratic Reza Shah and the king of Turkey ordered general massacres. They did this to succeed in rendering women immodest through their tyrannical force! Whenever Reza Khan came to any meetings, he used to say that he personally did not want the women to come out of the veil, but that they were themselves insisting on this change in their lifestyle! He said that the only thing he wanted was that the women should not wear the chador. When Reza Shah had gone to Isfahan, the elders had gone to meet him with a request. He told them that the women could be in hijab, only they should not wear the chador (full body covering). The Westerners knew it well that if women don't wear the chador, there will be no stopping them; they will spiral towards complete immodesty! And, unfortunately, we saw that women reached the stage where they were seen moving semi-naked on the streets. In addition, they were proud of their immodest behavior!


Reza Shah and the king of Turkey wanted to make Iran and Turkey “liberated” and immodest in this manner. Whether it is the Pharaoh, or the foreigners, Haman or America, they all aim to misguide the future generations and promote immodesty. Therefore it is binding on Muslims that they implicitly follow the commandments of Islam, otherwise they will be dragged towards evil. Pharoh planned to make men weak and the women immodest. He used to start with the girls when they were still small, so that they grew up to be immodest women, and men feel no compunction. When a society is reduced to this state, then it becomes very easy to dominate and overpower the people. When you see the Quran and traditions stressing on the formation of the family, do not be surprised. Only a pious generation can truly bring about sound progress. Only a virtuous generation can make scientific progress to the extent that others envy them. Islam calls on us to look after our children so that we can turn over a virtuous son and a modest daughter over to the society. The reward for doing so is more than constructing a mosque, or visiting the Kaaba or any other worship. If a person does a lot of good deeds and another gives two virtuous children to the society which deed is better? According to Islam handing over virtuous children to the society is better. Hence I congratulate the ladies who stay within the four walls of the house, and raise virtuous children. These ladies are like the mujahideen (soldiers) who are fighting the enemy on the frontline. In addition their house is also like a school. They are rewarded so much, as if they have given life to the whole world.



3. Giving Virtuous Progeny To The Society


Islam wants men and women to pay attention to certain things. A wife and husband, while in the act of copulation, should not think of others. For example, the man thinking of some other woman or the wife, may Allah forbid, thinking of some other man at that time. If a child born out of such mating turns out to be an adulterer when he grows up, it is the parents who should be blamed and not the child. Islam is so particular about the upbringing of the child that it forbids the parents to display sexual behavior even if the child is still in the cradle! They must go to another room to fulfill their urge, if they desire to do so. It is mandated that during copulation no third person should hear even the breathing of the couple. They should exercise care that no third person sees their faces or the bodies during their conjugal act. Islam forbids its followers looking at namahram persons. All these commandments are to protect the future generations from going astray. The person who stares at namahram or the trader who looks at namahrams cannot give virtuous progeny to the society. Try and become modest. Islam has warns you against immodesty! Islam has warned of grave danger for a lady who doesn't mind looking at and dealing with a namahram.


The day a child is born, Islam says that the adhaan is to be recited in its right ear and the Iqamah in the left ear. If you wish the child to be a good Shia, put a little soil from the graveside of Abi Abdallah al Husayn (a.s.) near his lips prior to feeding the mother's milk.


Feed the child mother's milk. Mother's milk is most important for the baby's health and welfare. However the milk should be one that is from Halal sustenance. The Prophet of Islam (s) used to say:


If the child becomes foul mouthed, the sin will go into the nama-e-Aamaal (the Account of Deeds) of the parent, as well as that of the child because he is the one who has used abusive and foul language. This will go in to the accounts of the father and the mother, even if they are dead and gone! (Bihar al-Anwar, Vol 1, page 71)


A person who has given immodest progeny to the society, the traditions mention, will get retribution for the sins of the offspring in addition to the retribution of the perpetrator of the sins himself.


A lady told me once that whenever she wanted to fight with her husband, she used to leave her children with their maternal grand-parents. After the fight was over and a truce declared, she used to bring the children home! What a thoughtful way it is!


Ladies and gentlemen! If you want to fight and abuse each other, please take the child in the cradle somewhere else so that he doesn't hear your foul talk! I wish to tell you something. Our ladies, in the days when they never stirred out of their homes, kept some pebbles in their mouths when they were required to speak with strange men. The purpose was to make their voices as unattractive as possible to the strange men! Our fathers were men who used to recite the Quran and were regular at offering prayers. But what is our status? What is the status of our children? Such women have been endowed to the society that they take out their young daughters without a chador. It is a pity that they visit the mausoleum of Hadhrat Masoomae Qom in the same state!


One lady told me that she saw Hadhrat Masooma in her dream. Hadhrat Masooma told her that in the past she used to cry about the pitiable state of others. But now she cries over the state of affairs of our own people!


Pity the children that in the laps they witness and are raised in an environment of sexually provocative scenes, provocative songs, backbiting, slander, abuse, shouting and fights. I appeal to you again and again! Please have concern for the coming generations! At least think of your own self. God forbid you are addressed as the murderer of human beings! You will say that I have never committed such a crime in the world. He will be answered that you have killed a whole world of people .as you did not take care of proper upbringing of your children!

	

	
	







	

		

The Eighth Talk



1. Cultivating The Habit Of Sin


The things that become the cause of departure of Allah's blessings from a person or a household are the sins that are perpetrated within in. There are many types of sins. Sins are categorized into major and minor. But this categorization is not the subject of discussion here. Sins are also categorized into 'permanent' and 'temporary' sins. Sometimes a person commits a sin, for example, he tells a lie. This is a forbidden act and he must repent and make efforts not to repeat it. On repenting, it goes into the category of temporary sins. But if the person becomes a compulsive liar and keeps telling lies again and again, he renders himself a permanent sinner. If a person always talks ill of others, regularly gossips, is always finding faults in others and is a habitual oppressor - this type of sinning is so dangerous that the Holy Quran says:


   
ثُمَّ كاَنَ عَقِبَةَ الَّذِينَ أَسَُواْ السُّوأَى أَن كَذَّبُواْ بَِايَتِ اللَّهِ وَ كاَنُواْ بهَِا يَسْتَهْزِءُون



Then evil was the consequence to those who dealt in evil because they denied the revelations of Allah and made a mock of them. (Sura ar-Rum, 30: 10)


Those who commit sins as a habit must beware and forsake this habit. These sinners come to such a pass that they start ridiculing the Ulama, the minbar and the mehrab! They even start denying the verses of the Holy Book!


Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) says that when a person commits a sin, a black spot appears in his heart. If the person repents, this black spot disappears. But if he continues sinning, unrepentant, then the black spot starts spreading, and the darkness of sins surrounds the whole heart, which can never be rectified. As good Muslims we must all try to refrain from sinning. Due to our fallible nature, if we commit a sin then immediate repentance is the only remedy, along with the determination not to repeat the act again.


There is another category of sins: When a man commits sins, he should realize that he is committing a great wrong. For example when a man looks at a namahram female, he should experience an uneasiness within himself. If he tells a lie or backbites, he should also realize that he is committing a great wrong. Sometimes this realization that he is committing a great offense also goes away. This happens when a person sins repeatedly. When a person commits sins again and again, the instinct that reminds him that he is sinning becomes dormant thus rendering him a perpetual sinner. When this feeling is lost, it is worst than repeating sins, because at this stage the chances of repentance and reform remain very slim.



2. Abandoning The Veil Is A Moral Exhibitionism


Once at a marriage party a lady came dressed improperly. She knew that this was a wrong thing to do. Later, if she regrets her action, repents cries out to her Lord, and tries to mend her ways, then it is good. But if she continues with this improper style of dressing, it will, slowly, become her habit. In all respects she is a decent person. It upsets her to even hear about sexual deviations. If she hears that someone has committed adultery, she criticizes them and acknowledges it as a great wrong. But this improperly dressed lady herself is committing a greater offence. When she applies makeup, wears sleeveless blouses and transparent stockings, and then goes to shops, without hijab, talks and laughs, her act is worse than committing adultery. The reason for this is she has been shameless, which is a sin bigger than adultery itself. The Holy Quran says:


   
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يحُِبُّونَ أَن تَشِيعَ الْفَحِشَةُ فىِ الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لهَُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ فىِ الدُّنْيَا وَ الاَْخِرَة



Lo! Those who love that slander should be spread concerning those who believe, theirs will be a painful punishment in the world and the Hereafter... (Sura An-Nur, 24 : 19)


Those who adopt such shameless and uncouth ways and promote such habits, for example, a youth taking pleasure in staring at namahram young girls, or a repair-man on a house visit, talks to the ladies of the house, who in turn joke and laugh with him. The Quran says that such shameless friendliness invites double punishment. This is sin more serious than committing adultery. The Holy Quran says in this regard:


   
وَ مَن يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًا



..... and whoso doth this shall pay the penalty.( Sura al- Furqan, 25: 68)


A person who presents himself for adultery, or does the act, will, in both situations, qualify himself to go to the Hell, and remain there permanently. He will not only go to the Hell but will get the most horrible treatment therein. It is said in the traditions that the person who offers himself for adultery, or perpetrates the act in this world will have such stench emanating from his private part that the other inhabitants of the Hell will get disturbed. But the sin of shamelessness is an even bigger sin. Women who don't cover their heads in public, wear half-sleeve blouses, transparent stockings and then walk in the streets in full view of namahram men, or travel by public transport tempt others to emulate them. These women not only adopt sinful ways, but set a bad example for others to follow. She goes shopping and the shopkeeper instead of advising her appropriately, talks to her. Sometimes we find that a woman is chaste and upright, but she does not realize the gravity of her sin. Coming in front of namahram and talking to them is something very normal for her. She converses freely with her husband's elder and younger brothers, she exposes her arms and hair in their presence. She must mend her ways and express repentance over such acts of the past. What is very regrettable is that we become oblivious of the fact that we have adopted sinful ways. We even fail to realize that we are doing something wrong. I very fervently appeal to the ladies that they should avoid unnecessarily going to the bazaar and the malls. If they have to go out, then they should be properly dressed and covered.


Amir al Mu’minin (a.s.) says that a time will come for the followers of the Prophet (s) that women will wear transparent stockings and roam about on the streets. He further said that when such things happen, it will be the period of intrigue and turmoil. Such women will be consigned to Hell, where they will remain for eternity. They will face retribution there for thousands of years. The women, therefore, should take special care of their dress. If they wish to wear flimsy stockings, they should fold them twice to ensure that their limbs are not exposed to strange eyes. If the sleeves of their blouse are short, they should ensure to change into a proper garment while going out or else cover their arms properly. When a lady goes to a shop, and pays the shopkeeper, she should not forget that she is a namahram for him. If she has to talk to the shopkeeper she should not prolong the conversation, but keep it to the point.



3. The Second Trait


A second, and positive, trait of a good lady is that she remains aloof in the presence of namahram males. When she talks to them, she gives short answers. Laughing and joking in front of namahram is a sin. The late Kulaini writes a back-breaking narrative in al-Kaafi that Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) said if a woman narrates a lewd joke to a strange man, as a retribution for the act, she will be consigned to the Hell for one hundred years! Businessmen should be careful. If their wealth that comes from such sources is spent in their home, their homes cannot be blessed abodes.



4. To Make Excuses For Sin


A person commits a sin, accepts that he has sinned, but then tries to condone it by making some excuse. This is a very dangerous situation. Some women expose their faces in public places and wear improper dresses and then condone it by saying this is progressiveness and liberation. In the name of modernity, some people converse freely and joke with namahram women and backbite. Some men create dissensions in the society through gossip and falsehood terming it as political expedient. Such irresponsible acts fall in the category of gheebah (backbiting) and will attract acute retribution.


Therefore I appeal to you that there should be no sins in your life. A sin whether big or small brings about degradation for man. The second appeal I make to you is that dread of sinning should never leave your heart. Even after due care, if one commits a sin, he should not try to condone it. If the fear of sin is not there in the heart of a person and he falls into the habit of making excuses for and condoning such acts, then he can never be repentant in his life. He renders himself a compulsive sinner. Such persons can never hope to get the intercession of the Ahl al Bayt on the Day of Judgment!


I would like to draw the attention to another thing that is seen in every household. It is to be found amongst the businessmen as well as the laborers, the educated and the illiterate, the revolutionary and the non-revolutionary. The dread of this sin has left our hearts and we even make excuses for it. Even if we shed tears of blood over this problem it will not be enough of repentance. This is the bad habit of backbiting and slandering. Similarly people indulge in sins like listening to music and songs; seeing passionate videos and pornographic films etc.one can only pity the homes where there is music and lewd things. It is not I who is using this word pity but it is the word used by Imam Jafar al Sadiq (a.s.). A person came to the Imam (a.s.) and said, “O son of the Prophet (s)! There is no music in my house, or dance! But my neighbor has employed a dancing girl who dances and sings. When I go to my toilet, I listen to her singing for a while! What effect it will have on me?" The Imam (a.s.) replied, “Pity on you! Go and have a ghusl (bath) of repentance! Offer a prayer and then repent" Then Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) added, "Music and dance is not compatible with our Shia households!"


Definitely amoral films, music and dance are not compatible with our households! The children, who are raised in homes where these things are common, can only be pitied! As said by the Prophet (s) Satans live in such homes and these are devoid of Allah's blessings and the presence of the angels!



5. Backbiting And Slander


I am mentioning two things with a lot of regret. There are very few homes where backbiting and slander, spreading of rumors and lies don't exist. These are major sins. The consequences of these habits, according to the Holy Quran, are very serious.


   
وَيْلٌ لِّكُلّ‏ِ هُمَزَةٍ لُّمَزَة



Woe to every scandal-monger and slanderer. (Sura Humaza, 104: 1)


Woe be to the person who searches for faults of people in front of them. For example, a wife has prepared the food that the husband has not liked. In such an event, he starts ridiculing the wife. Or when a husband buys something and brings it home and the wife doesn't approve of it, she starts criticizing it severely. The Holy Quran disapproves of such persons. They should know that they will be consigned to the Hell where not only their skins, but their very bones will burn! The same goes for gheebah. Backbiting is tantamount to eating a mu'min brother’s flesh. Do not backbite. Backbiting is like eating the flesh of dead animals. There can be no felicity, no piety and no mercy of Allah in homes where carrion is eaten and where dogs are raised.


There is a tradition quoted from Imam Husayn (a.s.) which is also quoted in Tohaf al Uqool from Imam Zain al Abedeen (a.s.):


Backbiting is the food of the dogs of Hell


The meaning of this saying of the Imam (a.s.) is that a person, who backbites again and again, becomes a habitual backbiter. The backbiter goes to the Hell in the form of a dog. When these dogs become hungry, according to Imam Husayn (a.s.) and Imam Sajjad (a.s.), they are fed with the backbiting they had done in the world in the form of rotten, foul smelling, putrefied fleash! It is a pity, that in most of our homes, people indulge in backbiting. Which is the home where people don't ridicule their friends behind their backs?!


O ladies! Don't be harsh while dealing with your children. Be especially mindful about respecting the children. If, their feelings are hurt and they start speaking ill of you behind your back, the fear of the sin of gheebah will leave their hearts, and they will fall into the habit of sinning. Then, they forget the norms of decency and turn into beasts. Slander is falsely attributing something to a person, behind his back. The difference between backbiting and slander is that in the case of the former, one takes pleasure in recounting the person's failing behind his back. In the case of the latter, the slanderer concocts false stories about the person in his absence.


It is observed in our society that when a person is backbiting, and someone forbids him to do so, the backbiter retorts that the person about whom he is backbiting does in fact have this shortcoming. This is a satanic talk. If a person does indeed have the fault about which you are talking in his absence, it is backbiting. If you backbite you will be turned into a dog. If there is no fault in a person that you attribute to him, then it is downright slander. Do you know about the retribution for these sins?


   
إِنَّمَا يَفْترَِى الْكَذِبَ الَّذِينَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ بَِايَتِ اللَّهِ وَ أُوْلَئكَ هُمُ الْكَذِبُون



Only they invent falsehoods who believe not Allah's revelations, and (only) they are the liars. (Sura al Nahl, 16: 105)


The Holy Quran asserts that those who blame each other falsely are not Muslims. They are downright liars.


Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) says that those who practice slander will be stationed in putrid pools of their own blood. They will stand in there for fifty thousand years, till everyone has given their accounts. Then in a state of humiliation, these people will be taken to Hell. I regret to say here, that most of our homes are the abodes of slanderers. The angels see your house in its true form. You cannot see it, but they can see that your house is full of filth and blood. With our limited vision we are unable to see this awful state of affairs! The angels don’t even want to look at your home, because your house is overflowing with blood. When did this happen? When the inhabitants of the house did not repent to undo the damage. The filth and blood of Qiyamah is prepared in this world. When you were backbiting in the world, it gave rise to this filth. On the day of Qiyamah you will have to stand on this very filth. The vision of people will be very sharp on the Day of Judgment. They will be able to clearly see the filth and gore surrounding them! We should take utmost care to see that we don't attribute anything to a person without making sure of the truth in the matter. Is there anyone in our midst who can say with confidence that he neither listens to any talk about any person without positive proof nor does he say anything about a person unless he is sure of the veracity of what he says! We are such people that even while fasting we indulge in slanderous gossip! Even if we shed tears of blood over this heinous habit, it won't be sufficient! The Holy Quran says: Pity the person who spreads false rumours. Pay attention to this sin, it is indeed a great sin. The Quran says:


   
إِذْ تَلَقَّوْنَهُ بِأَلْسِنَتِكمُ‏ْ وَ تَقُولُونَ بِأَفْوَاهِكمُ مَّا لَيْسَ لَكُم بِهِ عِلْمٌ وَ تحَْسَبُونَهُ هَيِّنًا وَ هُوَ عِندَ اللَّهِ عَظِيم



When you received it with your tongues and spoke with your mouths what you had no knowledge of, and you deemed it an easy matter while with Allah it was grevious. (Sura An-Nur, 24 : 15)


The Quran says that what you speak, and has become a habit for you, is considered an easy matter and you attach no importance to it, but remember that Allah attaches great importance to it.


   
وَ لَا تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ إِنَّ السَّمْعَ وَ الْبَصَرَ وَ الْفُؤَادَ كلُ‏ُّ أُوْلَئكَ كاَنَ عَنْهُ مَسُْولا



And pursue thou not that which thou hast not the knowledge of: Verily, the hearing and the sight and the heart, all of these shall be questioned about it. (Sura al-’Isra’, 17: 36)


Don't go after things about which you don't have absolute knowledge. Allah will question your hearts, eyes and ears about what you thought, heard and saw. The Quran tells us not to follow doubts. When you hear about something accept it only in the presence of proof. If you want to say something you must not say it unless you have evidence, failing which, be assured that your heart, your tongue, your ears will give evidence against you.


   
الْيَوْمَ نخَْتِمُ عَلىَ أَفْوَهِهِمْ وَ تُكلَِّمُنَا أَيْدِيهِمْ وَ تَشهَْدُ أَرْجُلُهُم بِمَا كاَنُواْ يَكْسِبُون



This Day We seal up mouths, and hands speak out and feet bear witness as to what they used to earn. (Sura Ya Sin, 36: 65)


On the Day of Judgment a seal will be put on the mouths. The ears and the tongues of people will bear witness against them for their misdeeds, and say that they had heard gheebah, they had uttered and accepted slander and they used to spread false rumours. Think about what you are doing in this world. The husbands have to be truthful with their wives and the wives too should be honest with the husbands. One should never resort to lies. If the chain of lies takes root in a house, then angels will abandon the place. Angels don’t enter such houses instead they curse them. It is narrated in the traditions that if a person utters one falsehood, immediately a foul smell emanates from his mouth and goes towards the Firmament and the angels start cursing him. Wives should never utter a lie to their husbands and similarly the husbands should always tell the truth to the wives. More important is that they should never resort to lying in front of the impressionable children. If parents make any promise to the children, they should ensure its fulfillment. Do not make false promises to the children. If you want to be a real Muslim, you should be truthful. Pity on the home where there exists hypocrisy, where the husband lies to his wife, and the wife lies to the husband. This house gives out a stench like that of a garbage dump. When the angels look at such homes, they curse these homes, they curse these couples and say: You are Muslims and yet you lie?


The Holy Quran says that Muslims must refrain from two things. One is that they should avoid idol worship and the second is to avoid telling lies. This means that the Holy Book places the heinous acts of idol worship on par with lying! Despite this, lying and falsehood is rampant in our homes! Our society is engulfed with this curse. A settlement where people are habitual liars sends out a foul stench towards the firmament and the angels curse such a place!

	

	
	



	

		

The Ninth Talk



1. Formation of a Household


Today's discussion is concerning the formation of the family and the importance that Islam gives to it. This is a very useful topic for discussion and I do hope that we shall be able to discuss several issues concerning our society. Formation of families gives tremendous advantages to people and the satisfaction of the sexual instinct becomes insignificant when compared to the benefits that are concomitant with the formation of the family structure. In the previous talk we have stressed the point that suppressing the sexual instinct is not right from the Islamic point of view. Satisfying the sex instinct is absolutely necessary and the benefits accruing to the family from this are very distinct. The first step for the formation of a family is to respond positively to the urge of nature because man and woman are absolutely necessary for each other. The progeny emanates from the mating of man and wife. When the human beings first set foot on the world, one woman was chosen for one man and they parented a few offspring. The first example of a human couple has been Adam (a.s.) and his wife Hawwa. If the family can give virtuous offspring to the society, then, in the eyes of Islam, there is, probably, nothing more blessed and rewarding than this act.


A verse from the Holy Quran stresses on the great value of human life:


   
مَن قَتَلَ نَفْسَا بِغَيرِْ نَفْسٍ أَوْ فَسَادٍ فىِ الْأَرْضِ فَكَأَنَّمَا قَتَلَ النَّاسَ جَمِيعًا وَ مَنْ أَحْيَاهَا فَكَأَنَّمَا أَحْيَا النَّاسَ جَمِيعًا



.....whosoever killeth a human being for other than man-slaughter or corruption in the earth, it shall be as if he had killed all mankind, and whoso saveth the life of one,it shall be as if he had saved the life of all mankind. (Sura al Maidah, 5: 32)


What we have mentioned here is the apparent meaning of the Verse. Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) has given another, finer (lateef), meaning to the verse. He says that if a person misguides a person from the right path, his sin is as severe as if he has massacred the entire population of the world. Similarly, if a person guides another person to the right path, saves him from going astray and turns him into a pious and truthful person, then the act will be equivalent to giving life to the entire population of the world.


Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) says, “Beware! Don't lead men astray with your talk. In your homes you should not implant in the minds of the children, distorted notions about the Faith, the scholars, the prayer niche and the pulpit. If you let this happen, it will be tantamount to massacring the entire population of the world. You should always use your tongue, your pen, your manners and behavior to bring people to the right path to the best of your ability. If you do this, it will be equivalent to giving life to the entire population of the world!"


The interpretation of the verse given by Imam Jafar al Sadiq (a.s.) highlights another meaning of the verse. If a husband and wife train pious offspring for the society, the reward will not only be equivalent to making a mosque or a school, nor equivalent to giving life to one or two persons, but it will be equal to giving life to the entire population of the world! The recompense for giving noble and pious offspring to the society is more than that for any other pious act. This is possible only if the family is established on the right path!


There are several traditions of the Prophet of Islam (s) and the infallible Imams on the subject. When a person dies, his actions are terminated and he will not earn any further benefits on account of his actions. But a person who has left behind Baqiyatus Salehat (pious assets), will continue to get more and more rewards. Pious and truthful offspring are included in the Baqiyatus Salehat of a person. When a person leaves behind a pious son or a daughter, and they offer prayers, recite the Holy Quran and perform other pious deeds, then the parents will share the rewards that the children earn! When a son or daughter earns reward for a good deed, an equivalent reward will be allocated for the dead parents too. The good deeds of such parents will not stop with their death!


One tradition that is very popular with both Sunni and Shia scholars is quoted by Sheikh Saduq (a.r.) in his book, Sawaab al Aamaal:


'If a person leaves behind Baqiyatus Salehat in the world like building a mosque, establishing a school, building a bridge or any other constructive activity, he will get rewards. But a better Baqiyatus Salehat is a person leaving behind pious and noble offspring in the society. In addition when the child performs any good deed, one reward is for the child himself, another is for his father and a third reward is given to his mother.'


There are umpteen traditions of this nature. Therefore people should strive to form families of a pious and noble character, so that good offspring can be turned over to the society. This is the demand of Islam, which is a faith that conforms with nature! But the enemies of humanity have, from times immemorial, perpetrated such activities that hamper the growth of pious and noble generations in the human race. The Quran says about them: mufsid fil ardh - their work is to spread mischief on the face of the earth


   
وَ مِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُعْجِبُكَ قَوْلُهُ فىِ الْحَيَوةِ الدُّنْيَا وَ يُشْهِدُ اللَّهَ عَلىَ‏ مَا فىِ قَلْبِهِ وَ هُوَ أَلَدُّ الْخِصَام



And among the people is he whose conversation on the life of this world pleases you and he calls Allah to witness as to that which is in his heart; yet he is the most rigid of opponents. (Sura al Baqarah, 2: 204)


This verse means that some people make sweet talks and win the hearts of the people till they form their own school of thought. Some examples of such persons are Marx, Freud, Nietze etc. They write books, and establish their schools of thought which then take root in the East and the West. But Allah knows what is in their hearts. The Holy Quran says that such men are the worst enemies of humanity. The Quran doesn't say that such men are enemies only of Islam. It says huwa 'aladdul-khisaam which means that they are the enemies of the human race! The Holy Quran enumerates one of their characteristics that if they are unable to usurp power, then they create discord in the minds of the people. But if they are able to attain power, then:


   
وَ إِذَا تَوَلىَ‏ سَعَى‏ فىِ الْأَرْضِ لِيُفْسِدَ فِيهَا وَ يُهْلِكَ الْحَرْثَ وَ النَّسْلَ وَ اللَّهُ لَا يحُِبُّ الْفَسَاد



And when he turneth away (from thee) his effort in the land is to make mischief therein and to destroy the crops and the cattle; and Allah loveth not mischief. (Sura al Baqarah, 2: 205)


When they attain power, they misguide people. They loot assets and destroy entire generations. The same thing happened with Iran after the Revolution. The American bred dog attacked hapless populations in the villages and perpetrated general massacre. He not only destroyed the buildings and mosques, but also uprooted the trees and destroyed crops. Quran says, yuhlikal harsa wan-nasl, meaning that when aggressors like Saddam get power, they lead the people astray or massacre people. Their aim is always to destroy the habitations.


Another meaning of the verse is that those who are the enemies of humanity try to mislead the young generations. They entice women to discard their hijab. In the name of progress they introduce forbidden habits in the society. They misguide men into forbidden ways. They make people engrossed in serving their selfish ends and satisfying their base desires, and thus the present generation is destroyed. This way they ensure that not only the present generation is ruined but the future generations, too, are destroyed. This is the reason that they work more in the schools, colleges and the universities. They try to keep the children away from the pulpit and the mosque. If they don't succeed with their foul motives on the present generation, they turn their attention to ruining the future generations. Russel is a well known British philosopher. The world recognizes him as a philosopher of high caliber. He very foolishly thought it unnecessary to have a family. Even the Pharoah was of the same opinion. But the Quran says


   
إِنَّ فِرْعَوْنَ عَلَا فىِ الْأَرْضِ وَ جَعَلَ أَهْلَهَا شِيَعًا يَسْتَضْعِفُ طَائفَةً مِّنهُْمْ يُذَبِّحُ أَبْنَاءَهُمْ وَ يَسْتَحْىِ نِسَاءَهُمْ إِنَّهُ كاَنَ مِنَ الْمُفْسِدِين



Lo! Pharaoh exalted himself in the earth and made its people castes. A tribe among them he oppressed, killing their sons and sparing their women. Lo! he was of those who work corruption. (Sura al Qasas, 28: 4)


Pharaoh was an evil person. He created major problems for the Bani Israel when he established power over them. First he created differences amongst the people, and thus ensured his own success. Generally all the commentators of the Holy Quran interpret the words, yudhabbihu 'abnaaa-'ahum, to mean that he arranged killing of all new-born males to ensure that Prophet Musa (a.s.) was prevented from coming in the world! He left the new-born females of the tribe unharmed. But some researchers interpret the verse saying that Pharaoh did this to demoralize men and make the women shameless and hand them over to the society as play-things!


One act of Pharaoh was to destroy the future generations of Bani Israel. His plan was to make the women totally shameless. Pity on the society in which women render themselves shameless! We read in the traditions that haya (shame) or bashfulness is divided into ten parts. Nine are for women and only one for men. It is a shame for a society where all the nine parts of modesty in women disappear. That is the stage when a woman wears perfume and comes out in public, scantily dressed. So shameless does she become that she exposes her face and bares her bosom. In this condition she moves about in the bazaar or goes to a shop, talking and laughing with namahrams. Shame on such a society and more shame on such women! Pharaoh was enforcing these shameful things to strengthen his hold over the tribe of Bani Israel and to weaken their future generation. Today's exploiters too have similar plans to destroy the coming generations.



2. Modesty And Bashfulness


When these people succeed in their nefarious schemes, they destroy modesty and bashfulness in women. They involve the women in sensual acts and destroy the manliness of men. A father sees namahram males eyeing his daughter sensually, but it does not affect him. Men see their wives, daughters and sisters going to the market in see-through dresses, without hijab, they know that their women have dressed up for others. When a society comes to this pass, we should offer a silent prayer for it! You might wonder why the autocratic Reza Shah and the king of Turkey ordered general massacres. They did this to succeed in rendering women immodest through their tyrannical force! Whenever Reza Khan came to any meetings, he used to say that he personally did not want the women to come out of the veil, but that they were themselves insisting on this change in their lifestyle! He said that the only thing he wanted was that the women should not wear the chador. When Reza Shah had gone to Isfahan, the elders had gone to meet him with a request. He told them that the women could be in hijab, only they should not wear the chador (full body covering). The Westerners knew it well that if women don't wear the chador, there will be no stopping them; they will spiral towards complete immodesty! And, unfortunately, we saw that women reached the stage where they were seen moving semi-naked on the streets. In addition, they were proud of their immodest behavior!


Reza Shah and the king of Turkey wanted to make Iran and Turkey “liberated” and immodest in this manner. Whether it is the Pharaoh, or the foreigners, Haman or America, they all aim to misguide the future generations and promote immodesty. Therefore it is binding on Muslims that they implicitly follow the commandments of Islam, otherwise they will be dragged towards evil. Pharoh planned to make men weak and the women immodest. He used to start with the girls when they were still small, so that they grew up to be immodest women, and men feel no compunction. When a society is reduced to this state, then it becomes very easy to dominate and overpower the people. When you see the Quran and traditions stressing on the formation of the family, do not be surprised. Only a pious generation can truly bring about sound progress. Only a virtuous generation can make scientific progress to the extent that others envy them. Islam calls on us to look after our children so that we can turn over a virtuous son and a modest daughter over to the society. The reward for doing so is more than constructing a mosque, or visiting the Kaaba or any other worship. If a person does a lot of good deeds and another gives two virtuous children to the society which deed is better? According to Islam handing over virtuous children to the society is better. Hence I congratulate the ladies who stay within the four walls of the house, and raise virtuous children. These ladies are like the mujahideen (soldiers) who are fighting the enemy on the frontline. In addition their house is also like a school. They are rewarded so much, as if they have given life to the whole world.



3. Giving Virtuous Progeny To The Society


Islam wants men and women to pay attention to certain things. A wife and husband, while in the act of copulation, should not think of others. For example, the man thinking of some other woman or the wife, may Allah forbid, thinking of some other man at that time. If a child born out of such mating turns out to be an adulterer when he grows up, it is the parents who should be blamed and not the child. Islam is so particular about the upbringing of the child that it forbids the parents to display sexual behavior even if the child is still in the cradle! They must go to another room to fulfill their urge, if they desire to do so. It is mandated that during copulation no third person should hear even the breathing of the couple. They should exercise care that no third person sees their faces or the bodies during their conjugal act. Islam forbids its followers looking at namahram persons. All these commandments are to protect the future generations from going astray. The person who stares at namahram or the trader who looks at namahrams cannot give virtuous progeny to the society. Try and become modest. Islam has warns you against immodesty! Islam has warned of grave danger for a lady who doesn't mind looking at and dealing with a namahram.


The day a child is born, Islam says that the adhaan is to be recited in its right ear and the Iqamah in the left ear. If you wish the child to be a good Shia, put a little soil from the graveside of Abi Abdallah al Husayn (a.s.) near his lips prior to feeding the mother's milk.


Feed the child mother's milk. Mother's milk is most important for the baby's health and welfare. However the milk should be one that is from Halal sustenance. The Prophet of Islam (s) used to say:


If the child becomes foul mouthed, the sin will go into the nama-e-Aamaal (the Account of Deeds) of the parent, as well as that of the child because he is the one who has used abusive and foul language. This will go in to the accounts of the father and the mother, even if they are dead and gone! (Bihar al-Anwar, Vol 1, page 71)


A person who has given immodest progeny to the society, the traditions mention, will get retribution for the sins of the offspring in addition to the retribution of the perpetrator of the sins himself.


A lady told me once that whenever she wanted to fight with her husband, she used to leave her children with their maternal grand-parents. After the fight was over and a truce declared, she used to bring the children home! What a thoughtful way it is!


Ladies and gentlemen! If you want to fight and abuse each other, please take the child in the cradle somewhere else so that he doesn't hear your foul talk! I wish to tell you something. Our ladies, in the days when they never stirred out of their homes, kept some pebbles in their mouths when they were required to speak with strange men. The purpose was to make their voices as unattractive as possible to the strange men! Our fathers were men who used to recite the Quran and were regular at offering prayers. But what is our status? What is the status of our children? Such women have been endowed to the society that they take out their young daughters without a chador. It is a pity that they visit the mausoleum of Hadhrat Masoomae Qom in the same state!


One lady told me that she saw Hadhrat Masooma in her dream. Hadhrat Masooma told her that in the past she used to cry about the pitiable state of others. But now she cries over the state of affairs of our own people!


Pity the children that in the laps they witness and are raised in an environment of sexually provocative scenes, provocative songs, backbiting, slander, abuse, shouting and fights. I appeal to you again and again! Please have concern for the coming generations! At least think of your own self. God forbid you are addressed as the murderer of human beings! You will say that I have never committed such a crime in the world. He will be answered that you have killed a whole world of people .as you did not take care of proper upbringing of your children!

	

	
	





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