Chapter Three: Kissing Children
“A child is a sweet smelling flower.”
The Noble Prophet
When a parent kisses his child, such behavior strengthens the affection between the parent and the child and it is the best way to quench a child’s thirst for love. A kiss shows that parents are kind to their children. It feeds the seedling of love in the child’s soul while it makes him aware of his parents’ love for him and it stimulates the creation of a new force within the child.
The Prophet also kissed children. Interestingly, his love for children was publicly displayed. This has two advantages:
Firstly, a child’s personality is radically reinforced by being respected in public.
Secondly, the Prophet thus taught the people how to strengthen and encourage their children.
Islam often emphasizes kissing children.
The Prophet said, “One who kisses his child does a pious deed and one who makes his child happy will be made happy by God on the day of Resurrection.61
‘Aishah said, “A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘Do you kiss children? I have never done so!’ The Prophet responded: ‘What can I do when God has taken his mercy from your heart?’”62
It has also been reported that a man came to the Prophet and said, “I have never kissed a child!” Later the Prophet said, “I think this man is one who will end up in the fire of hell.”63
There is another saying that, “The Prophet kissed Hasan and Husayn.Aqra‘ bin Habis said, ‘I have ten children, none of whom I have kissed.’ The Prophet turned to him and said: ‘What can I do when God has taken his mercy from you?!’64 ”
‘Ali said, “Kiss your children because there is a rank and position for you in every kiss you give.”65
Imam Sadiq said, “Kiss your children often because every time you kiss them, God gives you a rank.”66
Ibn ‘Abbas reported: “I was with the Prophet. Ibrahim, his son, was on his left knee and Imam Husayn was on his right. The Prophet sometimes kissed Ibrahim and sometimes Husayn.”67
Justice for Children
One thing that parents have to consider about their children is establishing justice among them. Children should taste the flavor of and feel justice from the very beginning, become familiar with it and consider it as a necessity for the society and for their lives, while avoiding any injustice and oppression. Therefore, the smallest matter should be treated with importance and administered with justice.
‘Ali said, “The Prophet saw a man with two children, one of whom he kissed and the other he did not. The Prophet said, ‘Why do you not treat them with justice?’”68
AbuSa‘id Khidri said, “One day, the Prophet went to his daughter’s house.
‘Ali was sleeping in bed and the children Hasan and Husayn were beside him. The children asked for water. The Prophet fetched them water. Husayn came forward first. The Prophet said, ‘Hasan asked for water first.’ Fatimah asked, ‘Do you like Hasan more?’ The Prophet answered, ‘Both are equal to me [but justice demands that each one takes his turn to drink water].’”69
Anas said, “A man was sitting with the Prophet. The man’s son entered the room. The father kissed him and sat him on his lap. Then the man’s daughter came and [without kissing her], he sat her next to himself. The Prophet said, ‘Why did you not treat them with justice?’”70
‘Ali said, “Do justice to your children as you yourself wish to be treated with justice.”71
The Prophet Kissed Fatimah
The Prophet loved his daughter Fatimah and still kissed her even when she had a husband and children.
Aban ibn Taghlab said, “The Prophet often kissed his daughter Fatimah.”72
Imam Baqir and Imam Sadiq have said, “The Prophet kissed Fatimah at night, when she was asleep and put his face on her chest and prayer for her.73
‘Aishah said, “The Prophet once kissed Fatimah on the neck. I told him, ‘O Prophet, you treat Fatimah in a way that you do not treat others.’ The Prophet said, ‘O ‘Aishah, whenever I take interest in the Paradise, I kiss her on the neck.’”74
When Should One Stop Kissing Children?
One may ask, at what ageshould one stop kissing children. To answer this, we have referred to the words of the religious leaders.
Islam pays special attention to the ages of 6 to 10 in the upbringing of children and gives special instructions to its followers while taking into consideration the divine laws and the physical and spiritual conditions of children. Therefore, with practical applications, it has controlled the sexual urges of children so as to prevent the development of immoral practices in them.
Islam keeps children 6 years of age or older away from any sexual provocation and instructs parents to provide a favorable environment in order to control their children’s sexual tendencies.
The Prophet said, “A 6-year-old girl should not be kissed by a 6-year-old boy and women should avoid kissing boys 6 to 7 years of age.”75
The Prophet Kissed Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn
In addition to kissing his daughter, the Prophet loved her children Imams Hasan and Husayn and kissed them.
Abu Hurayrah said, “The Prophet was kissing Hasan and Husayn when one of the Helpers said, ‘I have ten children none of whom I have ever kissed.’ The Prophet responded, ‘One who shows no mercy will be shownno mercy.’”76
Salman Farsi (Salman the Persian) said, “I came to the Prophet and saw that he had put Husayn on his lap and was kissing him on the forehead and lips.”77
Ibn Abu ad-Dunya’ said, “Zayd ibn Arqam saw in ‘Ubayd Allah ibn Ziad’s court that the latter was hitting the lips of Imam Husayn’s severed head with his cane.
“Zayd ibn Arqam said to ‘Ubayd Allah, ‘Take away your cane. I swear by Allah that I saw the Prophet kiss these two lips many times.’ He said this and he began to cry. ‘Ubayd Allah ibn Ziyad replied, ‘May God make you cry. If you were not a senile old man, I would order you to be beheaded!’”78
Zamakhshari said, “The Prophet embraced Hasan and kissed him. Then he put him on his knee and said, ‘My meekness, patience and dignity I have given to him.’ Then he embraced Husayn, kissed him, put him on his left knee and said, “I have given him my bravery, generosity and magnanimity.’”79