Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Youth and Spouse Selection

This book is corrected and edited by Al-Hassanain (p) Institue for Islamic Heritage and Thought

• Preface by the Translator
• Foreword by His Eminence Professor Ja’far Subhani
• Note
• Introduction by ‘Ali Akbar Mazaheri
• Reminding of A Few Points
• Notes
• Chapter One: Excellence of Marriage
• Man and Woman: Enhancements of Each Other
• Spouse: A Big Blessing From Allah
• Marriage Philosophy
• “Spouse”: The Sign of Allah’s Wisdom and Source of Man’s Comfort
• Marriage: The Improver of the Value of Man’s Practices
• The Loveliest Centre to Allah
• The Medal of Honour
• Reminder
• Notes
• Chapter Two: When Must We Marry?
• The Puberty Age
• Marriage: a medium of reaching Allah
• The time of sexual and mental maturity
• The View of an Expert
• Discussion with a Friend in this Connection
• It Is Wrong To Dash into a Rock
• Notes
• Chapter Three: The Merits of Timely a Marriage and Demerits of its Delay
• 1- Securing and Strengthening True Faith and Spiritualism
• A Sad Specimen
• An Auspicious and Blessed Specimen
• 2- Benefiting and Enjoying a Sweet and Cheerful Youth
• A Sorrowful Specimen
• 3- Remaining Pure From Corruption and Sexual Deviations
• 4- Safety from Nervous and Spiritual Diseases
• Attention
• Note
• Chapter Four: Difficulties and Hurdles of Marriage
• First Difficulty: Economic and Monetary Difficulty
• 1. Allah's Supports
• The Good News Given By The Leaders of Islam
• A Beautiful Example
• 2. New Horizons
• 3. Job Facilities and Allowances
• 4. Attaining Status and More Reverence
• 5. Special Marriage Loans
• 6. Decreasing the Ceremonies and Additional Expenses
• A Beautiful Specimen of Simple Living
• Second Difficulty: Continuation of Education
• The Real Problem
• Contemplating This Difficulty
• Solutions to This Problem
• 2- The Religious and Lawful Engagement
• 3- Parents Help To the Son and the Daughter
• 4- Birth Control
• 5-Contentment
• 6- Cooperation
• A Word with Parents in this Regard
• Third Difficulty: Difficulty in Spouse Selection
• The Solution
• Fourth Difficulty: Hurdles and Hindrances of the Elders and Friends
• A Gloomy and Sad Example for Your Attention
• A Curious and Strange Example
• An Agonistic Letter
• Answer
• Solutions
• 1. Direct Negotiations With The Hurdle-Creators And Fault -Finders
• 2- Appointing A Mediator
• A Specimen for Your Attention
• Look at another Example
• Another Interesting Example
• Reminder
• Fifth Difficulty: Military Service
• Solutions: Long Term Solution
• Short Term Solution
• 1- Religious and Legal Engagement
• 2- Staying in the House of One's In-laws
• 3- Parents Help
• Sixth Difficulty: Presence of Older Brothers and Sisters
• Solution to This Problem
• Seventh Difficulty: Dwelling
• Solution
• Long Term
• Short Term Solutions
• 1- Temporarily Staying At the Parents' Home
• 2- Renting a House
• Attention
• Eight Difficulty: Inability of the Youth to Manage and Run Their Life
• Ninth Difficulty: Natural Difficulties
• Answer
• The Philosophy of These Difficulties and Hardships
• Note
• A Word With The Elders
• “The person who provides a wife for a bachelor, Allah will look at him on the justice day
• A Social Disease
• Notes
• Chapter Five: Criteria of Spouse Selection
• Subtlety in Selection, Smoothness In Marriage
• Criteria of Spouse Selection
• Question And Observation
• Answer
• The Fruit of Religiousness
• (c) Nobility
• Answer
• Status of Morality in Spouse Selection
• Specimens of Decent and Indecent Behaviour
• 1- Using Decent and Indecent Language
• 2- Magnanimity and Jealousy
• 3- Sweet-Naturedness and ill-naturedness
• 4- Accepting The Truth And Stubbornness
• 5- Wise Humility And Stupid Pride And Arrogance
• 6- Truthfulness And Lying
• 7- Grace And Deliberateness And Ungraciousness And Debauchery
• 8- Forbearance And Impatience And Incapaciousness
• 9- Favourable Opinion And Mistrust
• 10- Being Warm And Affectionate And Being Apathetic
• 11- Forgiveness And Hostility
• 12- Respect And Disrespect
• 13- Boldness And Fear
• 14- Politeness And Rough Attitude
• 15- Faithfulness And Disloyalty
• 16- Generosity And Parsimony
• 17- Contentment And Greed
• Answer To A Question
• Question and Answer
• Another Question
• Answer
• An Unpleasant Specimen
• A More Unpleasant Specimen
• Fifth: Physical and Mental Health
• Consider This Miserable Specimen
• Question and Answer
• Sixth: Beauty
• Note
• Seventh: Knowledge and Education
• Attention
• A Lesson-Giving Example
• Salient Points of Incoordination of Ismail and Safoora
• 5- A moral difference
• Refuting a Doubt
• Conditions of Compatibility
• 1-Religious Compatibility
• Question and Answer
• 2- Cultural and Mental Compatibility
• 3- Moral Compatibility
• Attend To This Specimen
• 4- Educational Compatibility
• 5- Physical Compatibility
• Attention
• 6- Equality of Beauty
• 7- Equality in Age
• 8- Economical Equality
• 9- Family Equality
• 10- Political Consistency
• 11- Social Consistency
• A Considerable Specimen
• 12- Psychological Consistency
• 1. Unpredictable Variations
• Predictable Changes
• Discussing the Future Aims and Probable Changes Before Marriage
• Question and Answer
• Answer
• Question and Answer
• Answer
• Avoiding Negligence
• Love, The Pivot of Life
• Kinds of Love
• 1- Loves of Lust and Passion
• 2- Lofty Love
• Question And Answer
• Lasting Love
• A Magnanimous and Beautiful Specimen
• Mutual Love
• A Net of Deception
• Second Tragic Letter
• Important Question and Answer
• An Artificial Life is Unendurable
• Notes
• Chapter Six: Selection
• Time to Act
• Selection
• Perfect Recognition
• Ways Of Spouse Selection
• First Way: Seeking Advice
• A Sage Guide
• The Qualities of an Adviser
• 1- Religiousness
• 2- Wits And Intelligence
• 5- Having Goodwill
• 6- Trustworthy
• An Important Reminder
• Second Way: Mediator and Introducer
• Kinds of Mediators
• 1- An Aware Well-Wisher
• 2- An Unaware Well-Wisher
• A Sad specimen
• An Important Warning to The Youth
• Third Way: Investigation
• Acceptance or Rejection Needs Logic
• The ways of investigation and how to cross them
• 1- Consideration of the Conditions and Qualities of the Relatives of the Person
• 2-Investigating Through His Relatives
• Attention
• A Safe And Sure Way
• 3- Through His/Her Close Friends
• 4-Through Teachers, Administrators and Managers
• 5- Investigation Through His/Her Enemies
• Fourth Way: Sending A Messenger
• The Peculiarities of a Messenger
• 1- Mindful and clever
• 2- Well-wishing
• 3- Trustworthy
• 4- Possessing correct standards and experience
• Attention
• Fifth Way: Writing a Letter
• Attention
• Sixth Way: Photograph
• Seventh Way: Direct Talk
• The Method of This Meeting
• 1- Describing the Course of Future Life
• 2- Discussing the Future Aims
• Attention
• Do Not Accept Any Undue Conditions And Demands
• Eighth Way: Seeing Each Other
• Considering This Topic In The Light of Traditions
• Caution
• Protecting The Girl's Dignity
• Kinds of Omen
• The Correct Use of Omen
• A Sorrowful Specimen of Misunderstanding the Omen
• Another Specimen
• Crossing the Slippery Road! Complete Caution at Every Step
• Self -Sacrificial Marriage
• Definition Of This Form Of Marriages
• The Worth And Excellence Of This Kind Of Marriage
• Self-Sacrificial Marriage Is Not A General Prescription
• Result
• Remorse Before Marriage
• The Cause Of This Remorse
• Answer
• A Considerable And Lesson -Taking Specimen
• Family Marriages
• Children's Engagement
• Notes
• Chapter Seven: Engagement Period
• The Need of an Engagement Period
• The Benefits of the Engagement Period and the Duties of the Girl and the Boy During It
• 1- The Enhancement of Mutual Recognition and Understanding
• 2- Improvement and Training
• 3-Enhancement of Love
• 4- Development of Hope Regarding One's Future Life
• 5- Laying the Foundation Of Independence In Future Life
• 6- Valuing Each Other's Sentiments and Feelings
• 7- Gift Presenting
• 8- Writing Love Letters
• 9- Sincere Visits
• 10- Short Journeys
• 11- Participating in Spiritual Aggregations
• 12- Gaining Knowledge and Arts Regarding Organising One's life, caring for a spouse and the study of books in this respect
• A Worthy Essay in This Connection
• The Value of the Engagement Period
• Reflection of the difficulty of sexual deprivations
• The Length of the Engagement Period
• The Mishaps And Catastrophes During The Engagement Period
• 1- The Heart's Excuses
• Attention
• A Noteworthy Specimen
• Attention
• 2- Undue Expectation
• Attention: One Must Certainly Have A Celebration
• 3- Interference And Temptations Of The Ignorant And The Self-Interested
• 4- Not Observing The Parents' Conditions
• 5- Excessive visits
• Refreshing The Unpleasant Memories Of The Past
• 7- Talk About Former Lovers
• 8- Undue Ardour Of The Girl's Parents
• Notes
• Leave the Real Marriage for the Marriage Night