The Prophet’s Attitude towards Children and Youth

The Prophet’s Attitude towards Children and Youth40%

The Prophet’s Attitude towards Children and Youth Author:
Translator: Mahdi Azadi
Publisher: ABWA Publishing and Printing Center
Category: Various Books

The Prophet’s Attitude towards Children and Youth
  • Start
  • Previous
  • 16 /
  • Next
  • End
  •  
  • Download HTML
  • Download Word
  • Download PDF
  • visits: 7038 / Download: 4312
Size Size Size
The Prophet’s Attitude towards Children and Youth

The Prophet’s Attitude towards Children and Youth

Author:
Publisher: ABWA Publishing and Printing Center
English

This book is corrected and edited by Al-Hassanain (p) Institue for Islamic Heritage and Thought

Chapter Three: State Employment of Youth

“Wise young people make use of their transient youth, make good their deeds and work hard to acquire knowledge”

Imam ‘Ali

In developed countries, full attention is paid to respecting young people and acknowledging their worthwhile employing their tremendous energies. In various instances, sensitive state jobs have been entrusted to them and their youthful energies employed in the interest of country and nation.

Fourteen centuries ago, the leader of Islam paid special attention to this important social issue and, in his establishedstate, he employed worthy young people in important, sensitive state jobs and supported them with his words as well as his actions.23

Such conduct was hardly acceptable in the ignorant and prejudiced atmosphere of that time, for the elderly were not willing to follow the youth. When the Prophet appointed a young person to a high position, the old people became upset and openly complained to him. Such was the case in the incident of the first invitation to his family.24

The Prophet always insisted on solidifying his practice and resisted ignorant prejudices and false ideas. He would finally convince the people with his wise words and infinite reminders or they would have nothing to say. In addition to this, from the pulpit he would praise and express support for deserving young people and would establish them in high state positions.

It should also be noted that the basic condition for selecting young people was their qualifications and merit. This can be well understood by examining the Prophet’s words. Young people chosen by the Prophet to basic state positions were wise, thoughtful, intelligent, faithful, moral, provident and deserving.

Provided are some examples of youth chosen by the Prophet for executive state jobs. In this way there will be no mistake in recognizing the true right of youth for the criterion in the selection of youth was their faith and spiritual values.

‘Ali ibn Abu Ṭalib

One of the young people who served by the side of the Prophet to the end of his life was ‘Ali. He actively participated in all events and was a favorite of the Prophet and from the beginning of Islam was a soldier for the cause.

‘Ali, the son of Abu Talib, was from the biggest and the noblest tribe, i.e. The Quraish.His mother, Fatimah, the daughter of Asad ibn ‘Abd Manaf, was a great woman of the Bani Hashim family. Therefore, ‘Ali was a Hashimi from both his father’s and his mother’s side.25

‘Ali was miraculously born in the Ka‘bah. This was an honor that was not bestowed on anyone else. He was in the Ka‘bah for three days and then left it in his mother’s arms.26

Abu Talib, ‘Ali’s father, had been the Prophet’s guardian since he was eight years old. He defended the Prophet in the critical days of Islam, when all were mobilized against him. In the 10th year of appointment to prophecy, Abu Talib and Khadijah, the Prophet’s wife, both died. This year was known as the ‘Year of Sadness’.27

When ‘Ali was a young boy, the Prophet took him to his own home. Therefore, ‘Ali grew up in the Prophet’s house and under his guardianship.

After Gabriel revealed himself to Muhammad in the cave of Hira and informed him of his appointment as a prophet, the Prophet went home and told ‘Ali of the revelation. In spite of his young age, ‘Ali accepted the Prophet’s invitation to Islam and became the first male Muslim.28

After being appointed as prophet, Muhammad did not openly reveal his appointment for three years. In the third year, he was ordered by God to reveal his appointment and he made the first invitation to his relatives. He invited them to a feast, in which he told them, “O children of ‘Abd al-Muttallib, God has sent me to lead all people and especially you, my relatives and has told me, ‘First warn your nearest relatives of refusing to obey [God].’”29

He repeated this twice more and no one responded to his call except ‘Ali who was only thirteen at that time. The Prophet said, “O ‘Ali, you will be my brother and substitute, inheritor and minister.”30

‘Ali Risks His Life in the Prophet’s Bed

In the 13th year after the appointment to prophecy, the leaders of the Quraish plotted to kill the Prophet. One person was selected from each tribe and it was decided that as a group they would attack and kill the Prophet one night. The Prophet was made aware of their evil plan and he asked ‘Ali to sleep in his bed so that the enemies would not find out about his absence from the house.

‘Ali was 23 years old at that time. He responded positively to the Prophet’s request and slept in his bed. The Prophet left the city and hid in the Thur cave close to Mecca. At the end of the night, forty conspirators raided the Prophet’s house and found ‘Ali asleep in the bed.31

The Battle of Badr

Badr was the first battle fought in the history of Islam. In this battle, the army of Truth faced the polytheists, the army of Falsehood. It occurred in the second year after the Hijrah between the leaders of the Meccan infidels and the army of Islam, in a place known as the Badr Wells, some 168 km. away from Madinah and 6 km. away from the Red Sea.

The army of the infidels consisted of more than 1,000 well-equipped fighting men. The Prophet, however, had only 313 soldiers. Three well-known heroes of the infidelity army, namely ‘Atabah, his brother Shaybah and his son Walid were killed by ‘Ali, Hamzah and ‘Ubaydah. ‘Ali was 25 years old in this battle.32

The Battle of Uhud

One year after the Battle of Badr, the infidels replenished their armies and remobilized them under the command of Abu Sufyan. With three thousand fighting men from various tribes armed with adequate weaponry, they gathered to face the Muslims at the foot of Mount Uhud, 6 km. from Madinah. The Prophet’s army consisted of only 700 soldiers. He sent 50 archers under ‘Abdullah ibn Jubayr’s command to a mountain pass behind the Muslims and ordered them not to abandon their post under any circumstance.

Heroes such as Ṭalhah ibn Abu Ṭalhah, Abu Sa‘id ibn Ṭalhah, Harath ibn Abu Ṭalhah, Abu ‘Aziz ibn Ṭalhah, ‘Abdullah Abu Jamilah and Irtat ibn Sharhabil came to the battlefield one after the other and all of them were killed by a brave 26-year-old young man named ‘Ali. The army of Islam was winning in the beginning but, as the mountain pass was abandoned by the archers, Khalid ibn Walid and his horsemen attacked the Muslims from behind and defeated them. 70 Muslims, including Hamzah, were martyred. ‘Ali, the Prophet and a few others fought bravely. ‘Ali was wounded 90 times and in this battle a voice from the sky was heard saying, “There is no young man like ‘Ali and no sword like Dhu’l-Faqar.”33

The Battle of Khandaq (Ahzab)

In the month of Shawwal, the 5th year A.H., the Meccan infidels in cooperation with the remaining Jews in Madinah and with the help of other tribes, prepared for war with over 10,000 fighting men, in order to destroy the Muslims. ‘Amru ibn ‘Abdawadd, an 80-year-old Arabian champion, was also present. He had been wounded in the battle of Badr and sought revenge on the Muslims. He had vowed not to rub oil on his body until he took revenge on the Prophet and the Muslims.

When the Meccan army reached Madinah, the Jewish tribe of Bani Qurayzah, which had previously made a contract with the Prophet, broke its promise and prepared to fight in the company of the infidels. Following the advice of Salman Farsi, a ditch was dug around Madinah so that the enemies would not be able to enter the city. The Muslims were under siege for 28 days until the infidel hero, ‘Amru ibn ‘Abdawadd crossed the ditch and challenged them to fight. No one but ‘Ali volunteered to fight him as ‘Amru was a renowned, brave and valiant man.As ‘Ali walked courageously to the battlefield the Prophet remarked, “All of faith is facing all of polytheism.”

After some moments of intense fighting, ‘Ali killed ‘Amru ibn ‘Abdawadd and threw his head in front of the Prophet. The Prophet said, “The blow of ‘Ali’s sword in the battle of Khandaq is superior to the worship of all humans and Jinn.”

‘Ali, who did such great service for Islam and the Muslims on that day, was a 27-year-old young man.After this battle, the Prophet along with an army under ‘Ali’s command, set out for the Jewish tribe of Bani Qurayzah. When the Jewish elder, Huyy ibn Akhtab was killed, the people of Madinah were safe from the danger of the Jews and Jewish properties and women were possessed by the Muslims.34

The Conquest of Khaybar by ‘Ali

In the year 7 A.H., the Jews of Khaybar plotted against the Muslims. In keeping with this, they filled some of the 7 castles of Khaybar 200 km. to the northwest of Madinah with arms. 14,000 Jews lived in these castles. The Prophet went to Khaybar with 1,400 foot soldiers and 200 horsemen. ‘Ali, who was a 30-year-old young man, was the flag bearer.

In this battle, ‘Umar and Abu Bakr were defeated. ‘Ali entered the battle upon the Prophet’s order. He struck Marhab, the Jewish hero, with a thunderous blow and threw him to the ground. Then the Muslims attacked and ‘Ali removed the iron gate of Khaybar and held it on his hand like a shield. In this battle, Murhab, Harith and Yasir were killed by ‘Ali and Khaybar was conquered. Afterwards, forty people were needed to help in returning the gate to its original place.35

The Conquest of Mecca

In the year 8 A.H., Mecca was conquered by the Prophet without a fight. The Prophet entered Mecca with 12,000 troops and he himself broke and threw down many of the idols in the Ka‘bah. Then he ordered ‘Ali to put his feet upon his shoulders in order to climb the wall and break the remaining idols. ‘Ali obeyed the order but when he was finished, he jumped down.

The Prophet asked, “Why did you not put your feet on my shoulders?” ‘Ali responded, “To climb up, you ordered me to step on your shoulders and I complied, but while climbing down, you said nothing and therefore, I jumped down rather than rudely step on your shoulders. Thanks to God nothing happened to me!”36

This great hero of Islam was present on all occasions against the enemies and infidels in their attempts to wipe out Islam and the Muslims. ‘Ali defended Islam with all his power and might and was honored with many great and singular achievements.

Ja‘far ibn Abu Talib

Ja‘far ibn Abu Talib was a companion of the Prophet and ‘Ali’s older brother by 10 years. He was a brave man and one of the pioneering Muslims. He is also known asJa‘far Tayyar (‘the flying Ja‘far’) as he lost both his arms in battle and the Prophet said, “God gave him two wings in heaven.”37

The Prophet liked him very much. In the year 5 A.H., he migrated to Abyssinia with the other Muslims and was chosen as the spokesman of the migrating delegation while he was only a 24-year-old young man. The Muslims were in Abyssinia until the year 7 A.H. and then they returned to Madinah. Their return to Madinah coincided with the Prophet’s victorious return from Khaybar.

Once the Prophet saw them, he went towards his strong cousin, put his arms around his neck, kissed him on the forehead and cried. Then he said, “I do not know for which event I should be more happy; the arrival ofJa‘far or the conquest of Khaybar.”38

In 8 A.H.—i.e. one year after the return from Abyssinia, he was selected by the Prophet to command an army of 3,000 soldiers on its way to fight the Romans. The army of Islam departed from Madinah and faced the Romans in Mu’tah in Syria.

Ja‘far fought with unparalleled valor. He lost his two hands. In spite of this, he still managed to hold the flag of Islam to his chest rather than let it fall to the ground. He was martyred after having sustained over 70 wounds to his body.39 When the Prophet heard ofJa‘far’s martyrdom, he burst into tears and then he remarked, “One has to cry for a person like Ja‘far.”

Mus‘ab ibn ‘Umayr

Mus‘ab ibn ‘Umayr was a bright, well-built young man. He was very handsome, chaste, determined and noble. His parents loved him very much and he was respected by everyone in Mecca. He wore the most beautiful clothes and enjoyed a high standard of living.40

He became fond of the Prophet’s words and, after spending some time in the Prophet’s company and hearing the verses of the Qur’an, he embraced Islam. In Mecca conversion to Islam was considered to be the biggest crime. Therefore, many people hid their belief in Islam. One such person was Mus‘ab ibn ‘Umayr, until his parents found out and he was imprisoned. He escaped however, and went to Abyssinia with the other migrants and after a while, he returned.

On the occasion of ‘Aqabah Awla’ one moonlit night, 12 important persons from Madinah met the Prophet and converted to Islam. When they wanted to return to Madinah, two people by the names of As‘ad ibn Zararah and Zakwan ibn ‘Abd Qays asked the Prophet to send a representative to Madinah in order to teach the Qur’an to the people and call them to Islam.

Madinah was then one of the most important cities in the Arabian Peninsula and two large tribes, Aws and Khazraj lived there. They were sworn enemies of each other and had been at war for several years.

From among all the Muslims and his companions, the Prophet chose none other than the young Mus‘ab ibn ‘Umayr. He sent him along with As‘ad ibn Zararah to Madinah for this important mission.

Mus‘ab,who had learnt the recitation of the Qur’an very well, entered Madinah and passionately began the promotion of Islam, with pure intentions and hard work. He resided in the house of As‘ad, who was among the seniors of the Khazraj tribe. In the company of his host, he went to the house ofSa‘d ibn Mu‘adh, the leader and chief of the Aws tribe, and called them to Islam, which they accepted. In addition, Asid ibn Hudayr also converted to Islam with Mus‘ab. Mus‘ab, the well-built young man, carried out his mission in Madinah in the best way possible. He was the first one who performed communal and the Friday prayer in Madinah and he made honorable achievements.41

The effective promotional activities by Mus‘ab prepared the ground for the Prophet’s arrival in the city of Madinah and the people warmly welcomed the leader of Islam and his followers. This was but for the providence, piety, virtues, knowledge and insight of Mus‘ab as he was the one who attracted the attention of women, men, the elderly and the young people as well as the leaders of the tribes and the common people of Madinah to Islam. They learned the Qur’an, converted to Islam and drove away from their hearts all the old enmities and became brothers to each other and took part in Friday and communal prayers in a friendly atmosphere.

After the arrival of the Prophet in Madinah, Mus‘ab took part in the battles of Badr and Uhud. In the battle of Uhud, he held the Prophet’s flag and was finally martyred. He was buried next to Hamzah, the Prophet’s uncle, the renowned champion of the army of Islam.42

‘Atab ibn Usayd, the Governor of Mecca

In the year 8 A.H., Mecca was conquered by the army of Islam without any bloodshed. After this conquest, the battle of Hunayn took place within a short period. The Prophet and his companions had to leave Mecca to go to the warfront.

On the other hand, a competent person had to be appointed as governor to administer the city of Mecca, which had just been taken away from the infidels and polytheists. The governor had to be able to manage the people’s affairs and to impede any action by the enemies.

From among all the Muslims, the Prophet chose a 21-year-old young man by the name of ‘Atab ibn Usayd, and issued him an order to pray with the people. He was the first amir to hold communal prayers in Mecca after the conquest.43

The Prophet told ‘Atab, his selected governor, “Do you know what a position I have appointed you to and for which people I made you the governor? I chose you as the emir of the people of God’s shrine, the residents of holy Mecca. If I knew a more worthy person than you among the Muslims, I would surely appoint him to the position.When ‘Atab was appointed as the governor of Mecca by the Prophet, he was about 21 years old.” 44

The selection of this young man to such a great position strongly upset some Arab elders and the heads of Mecca. They objected and complained, saying, “The Prophet wants us always to be humiliated. This is why he made a young man governor over us, the elders of the Arabs and the seniors of Mecca.”

These words reached the Prophet’s ears. He therefore wrote a long letter to the people of Mecca, in which he reminded them of ‘Atab’s merits and emphasized that the people should obey his orders.

In the final part of the letter, he thus responded to the inappropriate objection of the people:

“None of you shall object to a young man like ‘Atab as superiority among people is not to be judged by age. Rather, it is virtue and spiritual perfection that must be considered.”45

‘Atab remained governor of Mecca even after the death of the Prophet until he died in early 23 A.H.46

Mu‘adh ibn Jabal

Mu‘adh ibn Jabal ibn ‘Amru Ansari was from the Khazraj tribe and was known by the nickname of Abu ‘Abd ar-Rahman. He was one of the well-known companions of the Prophet and was very wise, handsome, generous and well-mannered. He converted to Islam at the age of 18 and took part in all the battles during the Prophet’s lifetime.47

Mu‘adh learned the Islamic sciences with hard work and natural talent; he was able to learn a considerable amount of Islamic teachings within a few years and became one of the outstanding companions.

He was 26 during the conquest of Mecca. A merited person was needed to be appointed to that city at that time to teach the people the orders and regulations of Islam concerning worship and transactions.48 Mu‘adh was selected for the intellectual affairs of Mecca and for teaching religious precepts. In fact, he was chosen as the cultural head of the city.

After the Tabuk campaign, the Prophet sentMu‘adh to Yemen to be a judge and governor there. In a letter to the people of Yemen, the Prophet wrote, “I have sent you one of my best men.”

The Prophet orderedMu‘adh to teach the members of the army the Qur’an and the religious precepts and to collect the religious tax (zakat) which was to be sent to Mecca for the Muslims.49

When the Prophet wanted to send this young man to Yemen, he asked him, “OMu‘adh , if there is a quarrel, how will you judge?” He replied, “I will judge based on what is in God’s book.”

The Prophet then asked, “If there is no order in the Qur’an, what will you do?” He answered, “I will judge according to the Prophet’s practice.” The Prophet continued, “If you do not find any order according to my practice, what will you do?”Mu‘adh said, “Then I will judge according to my own opinion.” Then the Prophet put his hand onMu‘adh’s chest and said, “Thanks to God for you have satisfied the Prophet with that with which prophets are satisfied.”50

When the Prophet died in the year 11 A.H.,Mu‘adh was in Yemen. Abu Bakr reinstated him in his position. Then, during ‘Umar’s caliphate, he went to Sham and died in ‘Imwas51 , in 18 A.H., at the age of 34 due to the plague.52

One thing that provesMu‘adh’s merits is that during the Prophet’s lifetime, he was authorized to issue fatwas and would infer religious precepts according to the Qur’an, Sunnah (the tradition) and reason. This shows the outstanding qualifications of this young man at the dawn of Islam.53

Usamah ibn Zayd

Usamah ibn Zayd was a Christian child of Arab origins from Syria. His nickname was Abu Muhammad and he was one of the respected companions of the Prophet. He was born in Mecca 7 years before the Hijrah. The Prophet loved him very much. He was a clever, worthy and intelligent person.54

His fatherZayd, was killed in the war against the Romans in Mu’tah. He had been the second commander afterJa‘far ibn Abu Talib. The Prophet therefore decided to appoint Usamah, who was only 18, as the commander of the army of Islam to fight the Romans, in spite of the fact that all the high-ranked commanders of Islam, all the senior Immigrants, Helpers and prominent Arabs were present in the army. The Prophet went out of the city of Madinah to visit the army. He saw that all the senior Muslims were prepared to fight.55

The selection of the 18-year-old commander by the Prophet surprised many people and this practice made them look at each other with astonishment. As a result, some companions of the Prophet expressed their objection, saying, “Why was this young man selected as the commander of experienced Immigrants and pioneers of Islam?”

The Prophet was upset on hearing the sarcastic remarks of some officers. Therefore, he ascended the pulpit and after praising God, he said, “O people, what do you mean by the words that I have heard about the commandership of Usamah? Your sarcastic remarks today are not new. A few years ago, when I appointed Zayd, Usamah’s father, as the army commander in the Mu’tah war, you also made blaming remarks.

“I swear by Allah that yesterday Zayd ibn Harithah deserved to command the army and today his son Usamah deserves the same and all of you must obey him.”56

Such insistence by the Prophet in support of worthy young people had a deep effect on the thoughts of the Muslims in general and those who had incorrect thoughts about young people gradually became aware of their wrong attitudes. The selection of an 18-year-old person is rare in the military history of the world.

Usamah’s Story -The Outcome

The story of Usamah’s commandership and the Prophet’s insistence that everyone should follow orders under his flag is an interesting story in the history of Islam. When the Prophet was sick and on his deathbed, Abu Bakr and ‘Umar went to his bedside; once the Prophet saw them, he said to them, “Go to Usamah’s army. O God, damn the one who is prepared to fight but refuses to join Usamah’s army.”57

After the Prophet passed away, Usamah awaited further orders in the camp that he had arranged outside Madinah. When Abu Bakr became the caliph, he sent Usamah to the same place that the Prophet had ordered. Usamah left for Syria but, when he arrived there, Abu Bakr deposed him and appointed Yazid ibn Abu Sufyan instead.

When the young commander was deposed, he went to Madinah and stood next to the Prophet’s mosque, shouting, “O Muslims, it is surprising that the man whom yesterday the Prophet had appointed me as his commander is today commanding me and deposing me as the commander of the army.”58

Usamah lived in Madinah until the year 54 A.H. He died in a place known as “Jurf” during the rule of Mu‘awiah.59

These historical examples indicate the true value of young people in Islam.

Chapter Two: Affection

The Prophet:

“Love children and be kind to them.”

Affection for Children

As a child needs food and water, he also needs to be caressed and to be treated with love and affection which is the best food for a child’s psyche. Children love to be kissed and hugged. The one, who from early childhood receives an adequate amount of love from his parents, is likely to have a pleasant disposition.

In many of the narrations of our religious leaders, affection for children is expressed and advised in various forms, some of which are as follows:

In the Sermon of Sha‘baniyyah, while outlining various duties, the Prophet advised: “Respect your elderly and be kind towards children.27

The Prophet is quoted elsewhere as saying, “He who does not have affection for children and does not respect the elderly is not one of us.”28

According to a narration, the Prophet also said, “Love the children and be kind to them.”29

Just before his martyrdom, ‘Ali thus advised, “In your family, be kind to children and respect the elderly.”30

In another account, he said to his followers, “The child must follow the elderly in his behavior and the elderly must be kind to children. Be careful not to behave like the oppressors of the Age of Ignorance.31

Imam Sadiq said, “A man who has much affection for his child will receive special mercy and attention from God.”32

The Prophet’s Affection for Children

‘Ali said, “When I was a little child, the Prophet would sit me on his lap, hug me and sometimes let me sleep in his bed. He would kindly put his face on mine and let me smell his fragrant body.”33

Yes, a child needs to be caressed. He should be stroked gently and lovingly on the head and looked at with affection. Looking at a child warmly and kindly will make him happy.34

The Prophet was so kind to children that it was said that on the occasion of his trip to Ta’if, the Prophet did not react to the children who threw stones at him. Rather, it was ‘Ali who chased them away.35

When the Prophet saw the children of the Helpers, he would stroke their heads, give themsalams and pray for them.36

Anas ibn Malik said: I saw no one kinder to his family than the Prophet.37

Every day, he would caress his children and grandchildren on the head38 . Kindness and affection for children were characteristics of the Prophet.39

One day, the Prophet and his companions were passing by a place where children were playing. The Prophet sat next to one of them, kissed him on the forehead and treated him kindly. Someone asked the Prophet about the reason for his behavior and he said, “One day, I saw this child play with my child Husayn. He took earth from under Husayn’s feet and rubbed it on his face. Therefore, since he is a friend of Husayn’s, I like him too. Gabriel told me that this child would be one of the companions of Husayn in Karbala.”40

Imam Sadiq said, “Musa ibn ‘Imran asked in his prayer, ‘O God, what deeds are the best ones to Thee?’ It was revealed to him, ‘Friendship with children is the best of all deeds to me, as children are god-fearing in essence and love me. When a child dies, I will mercifully make him enter Paradise.’”41

However, one should not show excessive affection for children as this will be harmful. There are many Islamic narrations which forbid such excess.

The Prophet’s Affection for Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn

The prophet had much affection for his children, Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn. Some examples of this fact as verified in various documents are listed below:

Sunni books quote ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar as saying, “The Prophet said, ‘Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn are my sweet-smelling flowers in the world.”42

Anas ibn Malik is quoted as saying, “The Prophet was asked, ‘Which member of your family do you like the most?’ The Prophet said, ‘I like Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn more than the others.’”43

In another account,Sa‘id ibn Rashid says, “Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn ran towards the Prophet. He embraced them and said, ‘These two are my sweet-smelling flowers in the world.’”44

Imam Hasan said, “The Prophet told me, ‘O my child, you are like part of my body, good for those who love you and your children and woe to the onewho kills you.”45

The Prophet’s affection for Husayn was so much that he could not bear his crying.

Yazid ibn Abu Ziyad said, “The Prophet left ‘Aishah’s house and passed by Fatimah’s house. He heard Husayn crying and said to Fatimah, ‘Do you not know that Husayn’s crying hurts me?’”46

The Prophet Prayed for Children

The Muslims would bring their children to the Prophet and ask him to pray for them.

Jamarah, ‘Abdullah’s daughter, quotes a girl as saying, “My father took me to the Prophet and asked him to pray for me. The Prophet sat me on his lap, put his hand on my head and prayed for me.”47

Tolerating Children

Umm al-Fadhl, ‘Abbas ibn ‘Abd al-Mutallib’s wife, who was Imam Husayn’s nanny, says, “One day, when Husayn was still a nursing baby, the Prophet took him from me and hugged him. The baby wet the Prophet’s clothes. I took the baby back hastily and he began crying. The Prophet told me, ‘Do not rush! My clothes can be cleaned with water, but what can remove the memory of pain from the heart of my child Husayn?’”48

It has been narrated that, when a child was taken to the Prophet either for prayers or to be named, the Prophet would open his arms to take the child and put the child on his lap. Sometimes the child would wet the Prophet’s clothes and those present would scold the child and would treat him harshly in order to stop him from urinating. The Prophet would stop them and say, “Do not stop a child from urinating by being harsh.” Then he would allow the child finish.

When the praying and naming ceremony was finished, the child’s relatives would happily take their child and the Prophet would not be the least bit upset with the child for wetting him. After the relatives left, the Prophet would wash his clothes.49

The Prophet’s Gifts to Children

One of the practices of the Prophet towards children was giving gifts to them.

‘Aishah reported, “Najashi, the king of Abyssinia, sent a golden ring to the Prophet, which had been made in Abyssinia. The Prophet called Umamah, the daughter of Abu al-‘AS (the Prophet’s stepdaughter) and said, ‘My dear little daughter, adorn yourself with this gift.’”50

There is a story quoted from ‘Aishah: “A gold necklace was brought to the Prophet as a present. All the wives of the Prophet were present and Umamah the daughter of Abu al-‘As , who was a child, was playing in the house. The Prophet showed the necklace and asked, ‘What do you think of this?’ All of us looked at it and said, ‘We have never seen anything more beautiful than this!’ The Prophet said, ‘Give it to me.’ It seemed as if everywhere around me became dark. I was deathly afraid that he might put it around someone else’s neck and everyone else thought the same. All of us were silent until Umamah came to the Prophet and the Prophet put it around her neck and left.”51

It was reported that an Arab man came to the Prophet and said, “O Prophet, I have hunted a fawn, which I present to you for your children, Hasan and Husayn.” The Prophet accepted the present and prayed for the hunter. Then he gave the fawn to Imam Hasan. He took it and showed it to his mother, Fatimah. Imam Hasan was very happy with this gift and he would play with the fawn.52

The Way the Prophet Treated the Children of Martyrs

Bashir, son of ‘Aqriyah ibn Jahni, says, “On the day of the Battle of Uhud, I asked the Prophet, ‘How was my father martyred?’ The Prophet said, ‘He was martyred in God’s way, may God’s mercy be upon him.’ I cried. The Prophet hugged me, stroked my head and put me on his steed and said, ‘Do you not like me to be like your father?’53

In the month of Jumadi al-Awwal of the 7th year after the Hijra, the battle of Mawtah occurred, in which three of the commanders of Islam namely, Zayd ibn Harithah,Ja‘far ibn Abu Ṭalib and ‘Abdullah ibn Rawahah were killed. The army returned to Madinah.54 The Prophet and the Muslims went to welcome them, chanting hymns. The Prophet was riding on an animal. He said, “Take the children for a ride. GiveJa‘far’s child to me.” They brought ‘Ubayd Allah, son ofJa‘far ibn Abu Ṭalib. The Prophet took him and put him to ride in front of himself.55

Ibn Hisham wrote: “Asma’, the daughter of ‘Umays, the wife of ‘Abdullah ibnJa‘far said, ‘The day when Ja‘far was martyred in the battle of Mu’tah, the Prophet came to our house. I had just finished the housework and grooming the children. The Prophet told me, ‘Bring me Ja‘far’s children.’ I took the children to him. He embraced them and began caressing them while shedding tears.

I asked, ‘O Prophet, why do you cry? Has there been any news of Ja‘far and his companions?’ The Prophet said, ‘Yes, they were martyred today.’”56

Other children were also not deprived of this kind and fatherly attitude by the Prophet. It has been told that the Prophet would embrace the children and would carry some of them on his shoulders and back. (He told his companions, “Embrace the children and put them on your shoulders.”) The children loved such displays of kindness and would be endlessly happy and would never forget such sweet memories. After a while, they would get together to recount the event for each other. Some would proudly say, “The Prophet took me on his back.” And another would say, “The Prophet ordered his companion to take you on his back.”57

The Way the Prophet Treated his Children during Prayer

Shaddad ibnHad said, “The Prophet had one of his two children, either Hasan or Husayn, with him during prayer. He stood in front of the rows and had his child stand on his right side. He lengthened his prostration.”

The narrator quoted from his father, “I raised my head and saw the Prophet with the child sitting on his back. I returned to my prostration. When the prayer was finished, the people said to the Prophet, ‘The prostration was so long in today’s prayer. Has there been an order to you about this or has there been a revelation to you?’ The Prophet said, ‘None of these. Rather, my son was sitting on my back and I did not want to bother him. I let him do what he wanted.’”58

There is a narration by Abu Bakr, “I saw Hasan and Husayn while the Prophet was saying his prayer. They jumped on his back. The Prophet held them when he was standing up so as to let them smoothly stand on the ground. He would put them on his lap and caress their heads and say, ‘These two boys are my two sweet-smelling flowers in this world.’” According to another saying, the Prophet said, “A child is a sweet-smelling flower and my sweet-smelling flowers are Hasan and Husayn.”59

In another narration, it is said that, “One day, the Prophet was saying prayers with a group of Muslims. When the Prophet prostrated, Husayn, who was a little child, mounted on the Prophet’s back and move his legs as if urging his steed forward.

“When the Prophet wanted to sit up from prostration, he took him and put him at his side. This continued to the end of the prayer.”

A Jew witnessed this event. After the prayer, he said to the Prophet, “You treat children in a way we have never done before.”

The Prophet said, “If you believed in God and his messenger, you would be kind to your children.” The Prophet’s kindness strongly impressed the Jew and he converted to Islam.60

Chapter Three: Kissing Children

“A child is a sweet smelling flower.”

The Noble Prophet

When a parent kisses his child, such behavior strengthens the affection between the parent and the child and it is the best way to quench a child’s thirst for love. A kiss shows that parents are kind to their children. It feeds the seedling of love in the child’s soul while it makes him aware of his parents’ love for him and it stimulates the creation of a new force within the child.

The Prophet also kissed children. Interestingly, his love for children was publicly displayed. This has two advantages:

Firstly, a child’s personality is radically reinforced by being respected in public.

Secondly, the Prophet thus taught the people how to strengthen and encourage their children.

Islam often emphasizes kissing children.

The Prophet said, “One who kisses his child does a pious deed and one who makes his child happy will be made happy by God on the day of Resurrection.61

‘Aishah said, “A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘Do you kiss children? I have never done so!’ The Prophet responded: ‘What can I do when God has taken his mercy from your heart?’”62

It has also been reported that a man came to the Prophet and said, “I have never kissed a child!” Later the Prophet said, “I think this man is one who will end up in the fire of hell.”63

There is another saying that, “The Prophet kissed Hasan and Husayn.Aqra‘ bin Habis said, ‘I have ten children, none of whom I have kissed.’ The Prophet turned to him and said: ‘What can I do when God has taken his mercy from you?!’64

‘Ali said, “Kiss your children because there is a rank and position for you in every kiss you give.”65

Imam Sadiq said, “Kiss your children often because every time you kiss them, God gives you a rank.”66

Ibn ‘Abbas reported: “I was with the Prophet. Ibrahim, his son, was on his left knee and Imam Husayn was on his right. The Prophet sometimes kissed Ibrahim and sometimes Husayn.”67

Justice for Children

One thing that parents have to consider about their children is establishing justice among them. Children should taste the flavor of and feel justice from the very beginning, become familiar with it and consider it as a necessity for the society and for their lives, while avoiding any injustice and oppression. Therefore, the smallest matter should be treated with importance and administered with justice.

‘Ali said, “The Prophet saw a man with two children, one of whom he kissed and the other he did not. The Prophet said, ‘Why do you not treat them with justice?’”68

AbuSa‘id Khidri said, “One day, the Prophet went to his daughter’s house.

‘Ali was sleeping in bed and the children Hasan and Husayn were beside him. The children asked for water. The Prophet fetched them water. Husayn came forward first. The Prophet said, ‘Hasan asked for water first.’ Fatimah asked, ‘Do you like Hasan more?’ The Prophet answered, ‘Both are equal to me [but justice demands that each one takes his turn to drink water].’”69

Anas said, “A man was sitting with the Prophet. The man’s son entered the room. The father kissed him and sat him on his lap. Then the man’s daughter came and [without kissing her], he sat her next to himself. The Prophet said, ‘Why did you not treat them with justice?’”70

‘Ali said, “Do justice to your children as you yourself wish to be treated with justice.”71

The Prophet Kissed Fatimah

The Prophet loved his daughter Fatimah and still kissed her even when she had a husband and children.

Aban ibn Taghlab said, “The Prophet often kissed his daughter Fatimah.”72

Imam Baqir and Imam Sadiq have said, “The Prophet kissed Fatimah at night, when she was asleep and put his face on her chest and prayer for her.73

‘Aishah said, “The Prophet once kissed Fatimah on the neck. I told him, ‘O Prophet, you treat Fatimah in a way that you do not treat others.’ The Prophet said, ‘O ‘Aishah, whenever I take interest in the Paradise, I kiss her on the neck.’”74

When Should One Stop Kissing Children?

One may ask, at what ageshould one stop kissing children. To answer this, we have referred to the words of the religious leaders.

Islam pays special attention to the ages of 6 to 10 in the upbringing of children and gives special instructions to its followers while taking into consideration the divine laws and the physical and spiritual conditions of children. Therefore, with practical applications, it has controlled the sexual urges of children so as to prevent the development of immoral practices in them.

Islam keeps children 6 years of age or older away from any sexual provocation and instructs parents to provide a favorable environment in order to control their children’s sexual tendencies.

The Prophet said, “A 6-year-old girl should not be kissed by a 6-year-old boy and women should avoid kissing boys 6 to 7 years of age.”75

The Prophet Kissed Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn

In addition to kissing his daughter, the Prophet loved her children Imams Hasan and Husayn and kissed them.

Abu Hurayrah said, “The Prophet was kissing Hasan and Husayn when one of the Helpers said, ‘I have ten children none of whom I have ever kissed.’ The Prophet responded, ‘One who shows no mercy will be shownno mercy.’”76

Salman Farsi (Salman the Persian) said, “I came to the Prophet and saw that he had put Husayn on his lap and was kissing him on the forehead and lips.”77

Ibn Abu ad-Dunya’ said, “Zayd ibn Arqam saw in ‘Ubayd Allah ibn Ziad’s court that the latter was hitting the lips of Imam Husayn’s severed head with his cane.

“Zayd ibn Arqam said to ‘Ubayd Allah, ‘Take away your cane. I swear by Allah that I saw the Prophet kiss these two lips many times.’ He said this and he began to cry. ‘Ubayd Allah ibn Ziyad replied, ‘May God make you cry. If you were not a senile old man, I would order you to be beheaded!’”78

Zamakhshari said, “The Prophet embraced Hasan and kissed him. Then he put him on his knee and said, ‘My meekness, patience and dignity I have given to him.’ Then he embraced Husayn, kissed him, put him on his left knee and said, “I have given him my bravery, generosity and magnanimity.’”79

Chapter Four: Playing with Children

“Anyone with whom there is a child shall treat him as a child.”

The Noble Prophet

One thing that affects a child’s personality is adult participation in children’s games. A child tends to imitate adult behavior firstly because of his physical weakness and secondly because of the force and power he sees in adults and the love that he naturally has for growth and development.

When parents descend to the level of children and take part in their games, children will indeed be happy, excited and feel inside that what they do is very important.

Therefore, it is very important to play with children as part of their upbringing. This is considered by psychologists to be a parental duty.

T.H. Morris wrote in Lessons for Parents, “Be friends with your children and play with them. Tell them stories and have friendly chats with them. Parents should especially know that they have to come to the same level as that of children and speak to them in the language they understand”80

Another psychologist stated, “It is necessary for the father to take part in his children’s entertainment and games. This mutual understanding seems necessary. Indeed, there are different times, places and chapters in life. A father who takes part in his children’s games indeed does not spend much time for this, but he is aware of the great importance for the child of the fact that the father descends to a child’s level to take part in children’s games, however little the time may be that the father spends for this.”81

The Playing Instinct in Children

One of the instincts that God has endowed children with is the interest in playing. Children run, jump, are sometimes entertained by toys and take pleasure in moving them around. Although such movements may appear useless in the beginning, they are necessary for the development of their tender bodies and souls and improve their abilities of thought and innovation. This is perhaps one of the reasons why Islamic narrations advise playing with children.

Playing with children is a practice that is important in the development of independence of will and the stimulation of creativity and innovation. When a child makes a structure with his toys, his thought mechanism functions like that of a construction engineer and he takes pleasure in his successes. When he faces a problem in his task, he thinks of a solution. As a result, all his actions strongly affect his personality.

The Prophet said, “One who has a child with him has to treat him like a child.”82

The Prophet also said, “God’s mercy be upon the father who helps his child for good purposes, treats him well, is his friend and educates him well.”83

‘Ali said: “Let your child be free, until the age of 7, to play.”84

Imam Sadiq said, “The child plays in the first seven years of his life, spends his time learning in the second seven years and learns about religious permissions and prohibitions in the third seven years.”85

‘Ali also said, “One who has a child has to behave in a childlike manner in training his child.”86

The Prophet Played with Children

The Prophet played with his children, Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn. There are many narrations in this respect, some examples of which are provided below.

It has been reported that the Prophet caressed his children and his grandchildren on the head lovingly every morning and that he played with Husayn.87

Ya‘la ibn Marrah said, “The Prophet had been invited to lunch. We were with him, when all of a sudden we saw Hasan playing in the alley. The Prophet saw him and ran towards him with arms outstretched to catch him. However, the child ran this way and that, escaping from the Prophet and making him laugh. Then the Prophet caught Hasan. He put one hand under his chin and the other on his head. He brought his face close to the child’s and kissed him, saying, ‘Hasan is a part of me and I am a part of him. God will love those who love him.’”88

Many narrations report that this incident was about Imam Husayn [rather than Imam Hasan].89

Imam Sadiq said, “One day, Imam Husayn was sitting on the Prophet’s lap and the Prophet was playing with him and laughing. ‘Aishah said, ‘O Prophet, you play so much with this child.’ The Prophet said, ‘O no, how can I fail to love him when he is the fruit of my heart and the apple of my eyes?!’”90

Jubair ibn ‘Abdullah said, “The Prophet played with the children of his companions and comrades and let them sit beside him.”91

Anas ibn Malik said, “The Prophet had the best manners among the people. I had a little brother who had just been weaned and of whom I took care. His nickname was Abu ‘Umayr. When the Prophet saw him, he would say, ‘See what weaning has done to you!’ and he would begin playing with him.’”92

There is a saying that, “The Prophet would call the children of ‘Abbas. They were young and still loved to play. Then he would tell them, ‘He who comes to me the fastest will be rewarded.’ The children would race towards the Prophet. He would embrace and kiss them.93 Sometimes , he would give them a ride on his back and he would caress them on the head.”94

Giving a Ride

The Prophet would give rides to the children, seating them in front of or behind himself while riding. This had a very positive psychological effect on the children as they would consider this to be a very valuable and an unforgettable experience.

It is worth noting that the Prophet would sometimes carry children on his back and sometimes on his shoulders. Examples of these are provided in this chapter.

Jabir, a companion of the Prophet, said, “I came to the Prophet while Hasan and Husayn were on his back. The Prophet was walking on hands and feet and saying, ‘You are having a good ride and you are good riders!’”95

Ibn Mas‘ud says, “The Prophet was carrying Hasan and Husayn on his back, with Hasan on his right and Husayn on his left side while saying, “You are having a good ride and you are good riders. Your dad is better than you.’”96

The Prophet Let Children Ride on His Steed

The Prophet treated the children of his companions just like his own and he would let them ride on his steed. Some examples of this are as follows:

‘Abdullah, the son of Ja‘far ibn Abu Talib, said: “One day, the Prophet let me ride behind him and told me something that I will not tell anyone.”97

It has been said that whenever the Prophet returned from a trip and saw children, he would stop and order the others to pick the children up and he would let one of them ride in front of him and another behind him. After a while, the children would say to each other, “The Prophet let me ride in front but you rode behind.” Others would say, “The Prophet ordered his companions to let you ride behind them.”98

Fudayl ibn Yasar said: “I heard Imam Baqir say, ‘The Prophet was going somewhere when he saw Fadhl ibn ‘Abbas. He told his companions, ‘Let this child ride behind me.’ They put the child behind the Prophet and he was very careful with him.”99

‘Abdullah, the son of Ja‘far said: “I was with Qutham and ‘Ubayd Allah, the children of ‘Abbas and we were playing. The Prophet passed by and said, ‘Lift this child and let him ride.’ They lifted ‘Abdullah and put him in front of the Prophet. Then the Prophet said, ‘Bring this child too!’ They lifted Qutham and put him behind the Prophet.”100

Certain things have been said about the way the Prophet carried children on his shoulders:

1. He put the children on his shoulders in such a way that they faced each other.

2. He put them on his shoulders in such a way that one’s back faced that of the other.

3. He put one on his right shoulder and the other on his left shoulder.

4. He put one on his right shoulder, facing the front and the other on his left shoulder, facing the back.101


3

4

5