Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

[SECTION 02]

101. ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM

(1) I don't know and you don't know either.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

102. ARGUMENT FROM LOVE

(1) Have you ever fallen in love?

(2) [Of course!!]

(3) So what is the cause of love? Isn't it God? Am I right or not?

(4) Therefore, God exists.

103. ARGUMENT FROM IDENTITY (PC ARGUMENT)

(1) Believing in God is a central part of my identity.

(2) You don't mean to deny my identity do you?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

104. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING

(1) Behold, foolish atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God.

(2) [Christian posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph break.]

(3) [Atheist's eyes implode.]

(4) I see that nobody can refute (2).

(5) Therefore, God exists.

105. ARGUMENT FROM NON-CONFRONTATION

(1) I am not here to argue with you atheists.

(2) But come on, God obviously exists.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

106. ARGUMENT FROM EXODUS

(1) If the Exodus story has any basis in historical fact, then God exists.

(2) Some guy found some chariot wheels at the bottom of the Red Sea.

(3) There is absolutely no other way that chariots could get to the bottom of the Red Sea.

(4) This means the Exodus story is true.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

107. ARGUMENT FROM MARTYRDOM

(1) The apostles would not have died for something they knew wasn't true.

(2) Atheist notes that the NT doesn't mention anyone dying for their knowledge of Jesus' "physical" resurrection.

(3) Atheist also gives examples of martyrs outside Christendom.

(4) Obviously those examples were fooled by Satan.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

108. ARGUMENT FROM TINKERBELL

(1) I really want God to be real.

(2) If you wish for something really hard, it'll come true.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

109. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF DISPROOF, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM SHIFTED BURDEN OF PROOF

(1) You can't prove God doesn't exist!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

110. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (I)

(1) I once experienced something I can't explain.

(2) Atheist offers several possible, natural explanations.

(3) You're just guessing! I was there.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

111. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (II)

(1) I have experienced feelings of God's presence in my mind.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

112. ARGUMENT FROM NEUROSCIENCE

(1) Scientists say a portion of our brain may be responsible for mystical experiences.

(2) God must have created our brain like that.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

113. ARGUMENT FROM EYEWITNESS (SOMETIMES FOLLOWS OR COMBINED WITH LACK OF EYEWITNESS I)

(1) Someone wrote the creation story in the Bible.

(2) That someone must have been an eyewitness to the described events.

(3) The only possible eyewitness was God.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

114. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EYEWITNESS (I)

(1) You weren't there to witness abiogenisis/Big Bang/etc.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

115. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EYEWITNESS (II)

(1) No one's ever seen one species turn into another.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

116. ARGUMENT FROM HALF A WING

(1) Half of a wing is useless!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

117. ARGUMENT FROM PREFERRED ANCESTRY

(1) I don't want to be related to monkeys.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

118. ARGUMENT FROM FOOLISHNESS

(1) The Bible says atheists are fools.

(2) I don't want to be a fool.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

119. ARGUMENT FROM PIG'S TOOTH

(1) Some scientists once thought a tooth was from an 'ape-man.'

(2) Later scientists discovered it was a pig's tooth.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

120. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (I)

(1) Someone made fun of my faith.

(2) God said that persecution would happen.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

121. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (II)

(1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.

(2) I am an idiot.

(3) People often point that out.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

122. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (III)

(1) You atheists are mean!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

123. ARGUMENT FROM JESUS SAID STUFF

(1) Jesus said some really cool stuff.

(2) No one else had said that stuff.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

124. ARGUMENT FROM DIFFERENCES

(1) The Christian God is different than the gods of other religions.

(2) Therefore, the Christian God exists.

125. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MORALITY (altho it could probably be adapted to just about any religion)

(1) Somewhere, someone who called himself or herself a Christian did something nice.

(2) This person was probably not lying.

(3) Therefore, this person was a Christian.

(4) Therefore, Christians do nice things.

(5) Therefore, Christians are moral.

(6) Christians believe in the Bible.

(7) Therefore, the Bible is moral.

(8) The Bible is God's word. It says so.

(9) Therefore, God is moral.

(10) (We are just ignoring all the not-nice things that Christians may or may not have done in the past, it's hard to trust history anyway, there are enemies of God working everywhere).

(11) A moral God would be really nice.

(12) Therefore, God exists.

126. ARGUMENT FROM CRAZINESS, a.k.a. PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT (I)

(1) I would go crazy if I didn't believe in God.

(2) I am not crazy, and don't want to go crazy.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

127. MRS. POPE'S ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE

(1) Chocolate is God's gift to humanity.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

(3) Now class, would anyone like to attempt an Argument From Beer?

128. ARGUMENT FROM WWJD

(1) I have the “What Would Jesus Do?” T-shirt, bracelet, baseball hat, and shoelaces.

(2) I wear them in public.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

129. ARGUMENT FROM INTEREST

(1) If God really doesn’t exist than atheists wouldn’t spend so much time talking about him.

(2) [Atheist refutes (1).]

(3) Therefore, God exists.

130. REID’S ARGUMENT

(1) You assume that your senses are reliable even though you can’t prove it.

(2) That means I get to assume anything I want.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

131. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORITY

(1) [Christian posts argument.]

(2) [Atheist refutes argument.]

(3) Atheist, you obviously didn’t understand my argument.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

132. ARGUMENT FROM CATCH-PHRASE, a.k.a. INVERSE TRUE SCOTSMAN ARGUMENT

(1) There are no atheists in foxholes.

(2) [Atheist points out atheists in foxholes.]

(3) They don’t count.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

133. TERCEL’S ARGUMENT FROM PROBABILITY

(1) We should believe what probably is true.

(2) I have arbitrarily assigned the proposition “God exists” a probability of 0.75.

(3) That probability came from my ass, which I know assigns extremely accurate probabilities to propositions concerning the existence of God.

(4) So God probably exists.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

134. ARGUMENT FROM FREE GIFT, a.k.a. KISSING HANK'S ASS (I)

(1) If some guy came up to you on the street and offered you a billion dollars for nothing in return, would you take the money or deny his existence?

(2) Therefore, God exists.

135. ARGUMENT FROM CHARITY

(1) Atheists don’t build hospitals.

(2) [Atheist points out Bill Gates and Ted Turner, who donate billions of dollars to charity.]

(3) Yes, but do they build hospitals?

(4) Therefore, God exists.

136. ARGUMENT FROM SERIOUS ASSERTION

(1) God exists.

(2) No, seriously.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

137. ARGUMENT FROM POSITIVE OUTCOME

(1) Even if God doesn’t exist, it would be better if people believed He did.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

138. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE (I)

(1) I believe that if God exists, there will be no evidence for his existence.

(2) There is no evidence for the existence of God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

139. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE (II) (MODIFIED SIMPSON’S ARGUMENT)

(1) God, if you exist, please give me absolutely no sign.

(2)

(3) Therefore, God exists.

140. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY

(1) I am an idiot.

(2) Even an idiot can see that God exists.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

141. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (I)

(1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands.

(2) One piece of the rubble sort of looks like a cross.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

142. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (II)

(1) A plane was hijacked by terrorists.

(2) The passengers prayed and attacked the terrorists.

(3) The plane crashed into a field, killing all aboard.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

143. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (III), a.k.a. PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT (II)

(1) September 11th was really, really bad.

(2) We have bad things happen to us when we're doing something bad.

(3) Therefore, September 11th was a punishment for something we did.

(4) Maybe it was being arrogant?

(5) Yeah, that's it!

(6) God let September 11th happen to teach America humility.

(7) Therefore, God exists.

144. ARGUMENT FROM MASS MURDER

(1) Stalin was an atheist.

(2) He murdered millions of people.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

145. ARGUMENT FROM TORNADOS

(1) A large tornado hit Kansas City.

(2) The tornado missed a church but destroyed several hundred homes.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

146. ARGUMENT FROM SPAGHETTI

(1) A few people saw something weird in a bowl of spaghetti.

(2) Some Catholics believe that it is the Virgin Mary.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

147. ARGUMENT FROM MONEY

(1) All U.S. currency contains the motto "In God We Trust."

(2) Therefore, God exists.

148. ARGUMENT FROM THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE (I)

(1) The Pledge clearly states that America is "one nation, under God * * *."

(2) The existence of God is thus a necessary condition for the existence of America.

(3) America exists.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

149. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOUNDING FATHERS (I)

(1) Some of America's Founding Fathers wrote favorably about the Bible.

(2) The Founding Fathers were really, really smart.

(3) Accordingly, the Bible must be true.

(4) The Bible says that God exists.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

150. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOUNDING FATHERS (II)

(1) The Declaration of Independence includes the words "God" and "Creator".

(2) Only a Christian would include the words "God" and "Creator"!

(3) Therefore this is a Christian Nation.

(4) A Christian Nation couldn't last over 200 years without God's help.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

151. ARGUMENT FROM THE FALL OF PAGAN ROME

(1) When Jesus was crucified, the Roman Empire was pagan, ruled by a pagan Emperor.

(2) A couple of hundred years later, lots of Romans were Christians, and the Emperor was a Christian too!

(3) Therefore, God exists.

152. ARGUMENT FROM LOTS OF BOOKS

(1) The Bible has lots of books written by lots of authors over a long period of time.

(2) Through centuries of vigorous apologetics we've been able to forge a more or less coherent plot for the whole Bible.

(3) It is beyond human ability for so many authors over so long a time to write so many books from which we could hammer such a plot.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

153. ARGUMENT FROM UNLIKE OTHER RELIGIONS (I) (argument from sacrifice)

(1) The Bible said Jesus died for our sins.

(2) No other religious text describes a god that died for our sins!

(3) Osiris, Mithra, Hercules, Horus, Perseus, Bacchus, Tammuz, Hermes, and Prometheus? Never heard of them!

(4) Therefore, the Christian God exists.

154. ARGUMENT FROM UNLIKE OTHER RELIGIONS (II) (argument from resurrection)

(1) The Bible said Jesus rose from the dead.

(2) No other religious text describes a god that rose from the dead!

(3) All those other resurrected saviors? Never heard of them!

(4) Therefore, the Christian God exists.

155. ARGUMENT FROM BRUTE FORCE

(1) [Christian tears Darwin Fish off car, breaks it in thirds, sticks it to driver's side window.]

(2) Therefore, the Theory of Evolution is wrong.

(3) Therefore, creationism is right.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

156. ARGUMENT FROM TROY

(1) There is little archeological evidence for the events in Exodus.

(2) But look at Troy! It was discovered when people thought the Iliad was only a story! So who knows if there would be a time evidence for Exodus was discovered?

(3) Therefore the Exodus actually happened.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

157. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL PROPHECY (I)

(1) The book of Daniel made some prophecies.

(2) The prophecy was later fulfilled by other records in the Book of Daniel.

(3) The prophecy came true!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

158. ARGUMENT FROM SHAME

(1) The Bible showed a group of people performing embarassing actions.

(2) It must be true if the book describes negative events.

(3) Therefore, the Bible is describing historical events.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

159. ARGUMENT FROM EQUAL VALUE (PC ARGUMENT II)

(1) Evolution and the scientific worldview is a worldview. Similarly, the biblical worldview is a worldview.

(2) You are not discriminating against our worldview are you?

(3) The Biblical worldview is as good as the scientific worldview.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

160. ARGUMENT FROM MODERATION (OFTEN EMPLOYED BY LIBERALS)

(1) The Creationist side occupies an extreme side of the spectrum.

(2) Similarly, the atheist side occupies another extreme side of the spectrum.

(3) The liberals are in between.

(4) Therefore, the liberal position on God is the most correct.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

161. ARGUMENT FROM JACK CHICK

(1) I have all these cool Jesus comics.

(2) I also think Eternal is smart with all those great arguments.

(3) Those comics sure convinced me!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

162. HENRY MORRIS' ARGUMENT FROM EVIDENTIAL ASSERTION

(1) God exists.

(2) Therefore all physical evidence (fossil record etc) must show this.

(3) Therefore it does.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

163. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF MEANNESS

(1) If God didn't exist, it would be mean of him to make me believe he did!

(2) God isn't mean.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

164. ARGUMENT FROM WE ALL GOT FAITH

(1) We all believe in something.

(2) Therefore we all have faith.

(3) My faith in God is no different from your faith that the sun will rise tomorrow morning.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

165. ARGUMENT FROM COOLNESS

(1) That's really cool.

(2) God must have done that.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

166. ARGUMENT FROM WTC, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (III)

(1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands.

(2) An intact Bible was found in the ruins.

(3) No, wait, it turns out it was a dictionary.

(4) Oh well, God exists anyway.

167. ARGUMENT FROM COLLEGE FUNDING (for parents and grandparents)

(1) You believe in God.

(2) If I ever find out that you don't believe in God, you won't get any money for college!

(3) Therefore, God exists.

168. ARGUMENT FROM SNOWFLAKES, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (V)

(1) Out of 3,300 pictures of snow-crystals catalogued no two are exactly alike. Each has 6 points crossing at a 60 degree angle. If one is like a fern it has 6 out-pointing leaves; if like a windmill, it has 6 sails; if like a starfish, 6 ribs; or if like a fir tree, 6 stems with plumes set in perfect symmetry. This makes 3 distinct triangles to each flake. The Hebrew word for snow equals 333 (Hebrew letters stand for numbers).

(2) Could it not be that God has set His symbol of the Triune God in each flake? The average snow storm produces about 1000 billion crystals.

(3) Only an intelligent being could design so many forms.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

169. ARGUMENT FROM CUSTODY

(1) We have legal custody of your son.

(2) If you don't act as though the Christian God existed, then we won't let you see him.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

170. ARGUMENT FROM FIDEISM, a.k.a. MARTIN GARDNER'S ARGUMENT

(1) Atheists are absolutely right. There is no logical reason to believe God exists.

(2) But He makes me feel good anyway.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

171. ARGUMENT FROM PEPPER'S PHILOSOPHY CLASS, a.k.a. THE ENERGY ARGUMENT

(1) Things that exist have energy.

(2) Energy is alive.

(3) All living things are made from energy.

(4) Therefore, God Exists.

172. ARGUMENT FROM A BAD TRIP

(1) I went to a party and took LSD.

(2) I saw demons attacking me.

(3) Then Jesus came and drove the demons away.

(4) So I joined the Assemblies of God.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

173. ARGUMENT FROM A GOOD TRIP

(1) I went to a party and took LSD.

(2) I saw God and Jesus, and they love me.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

174. ARGUMENT FROM STUPIDITY

(1) I am stupid.

(2) God made man in his own image.

(3) There are all horrible disasters going around the world.

(4) God is omnipotent in power.

(5) God is too stupid to do anything about these things.

(6) Therefore, God exists.

175. ARGUMENT FROM STAR TREK

(1) You will be assimilated.

(2) All your salvations belong to us.

(3) Resistance is futile.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

176. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (II)

(1) When I pray, either it comes true or God has a better plan.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

177. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN DEMOCRACY

(1) God would never allow a non-Christian to become president.

(2) There has never been a non-Christian president.

(3) Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln? They said some things that kind of sounded like Christian statements.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

178. ARGUMENT FROM PAIN AVOIDANCE

(1) If I don't believe God exists, I'll go to Hell.

(2) Please don't hurt me.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

179. ARGUMENT FROM MOUNTAINS

(1) People used to think gods lived on Mt. Olympus.

(2) We've climbed Mt. Olympus and there were no gods there.

(3) Therefore, pagan gods are false.

(4) Therefore, the Christian God exists.

180. ARGUMENT FROM FUZZY ANIMALS, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (VI)

(1) Bunnies are cute.

(2) Cuteness is not an evolutionary advantage.

(3) Therefore, cuteness must have been designed.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

181. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN POLITICAL EXPEDIENCY

(1) The vast majority of the Americans believe in God.

(2) I'll get elected if I believe in God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

182. W'S ARGUMENT FROM PRESIDENTIAL IGNORANCE

(1) If I ask God to blesserize Texas, nobody'll mess with it.

(2) Nobody messes with Texas.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

183. ARGUMENT FROM COINCIDENCE

(1) We were driving home with our youth pastor when it started to rain really hard outside.

(2) We pulled over to the side of the road, joined hands and asked gawd to deliver us home safely.

(3) We arrived home safely.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

184. ARGUMENT FROM COMPUTERS

(1) I tried to delete a copy of the TEN COMMANDMENTS from my computer. It would not have mattered as I had another copy on file.

(2) Still the computer malfunctioned.

(3) The computer had more sense than atheists who made it.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

185. ARGUMENT FROM INVISIBILITY

(1) God is invisible.

(2) I can't see God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

186. ARGUMENT FROM RAIN, a.k.a. PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT (III)

(1) I wanted it to be a sunny day.

(2) I prayed it wouldn't rain.

(3) We had two thunderstorms.

(4) Obviously, God didn't want to answer my prayer.

(5) Of course not! What a selfish thing to pray for! How dare I try to compel God to my selfish desires!

(6) The rain was God's punishment for my selfish desires.

(7) Therefore, God exists.

187. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FOR GOD (I)

(1) I have a philosophy degree.

(2) Your knowledge in philosophy is paltry in comparison to mine.

(3) Therefore you are unable to comprehend my intense philosophical proofs of God's existence.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

188. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FOR GOD (II)

(1) I created the term "arbitrary necessity".

(2) It is a golden principle and applies to whatever I say it does.

(3) I say an eternal universe is an arbitrary necessity.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

189. ARGUMENT FROM BEER (I)

(1) "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." — Ben Franklin

(2) Beer exists.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

190. ARGUMENT FROM BEER (II)

(1) Christian: Whatever you believe in is your god.

(2) Atheist: I believe I'll have another beer.

(3) Ha ha.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

191. ARGUMENT FROM MONKEYS

(1) If man came from monkeys, there shouldn't be any more monkeys.

(2) There are still monkeys.

(3) Therefore, God Exists.

192. ARGUMENT FROM C.S. LEWIS

(1) C.S. Lewis had a lot of good arguments in favor of Christianity at least that’s what all my Christian friends tell me...

(2) C.S. Lewis wrote some popular books too!

(3) So anything C.S. Lewis said must be right!

(4) Therefore, God Exists.

193. ARGUMENT FROM UNIVERSAL DESTRUCTION

(1) I woke up this morning and found that the universe still exists.

(2) Therefore, its destruction was averted by God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

194. ARGUMENT FROM DEAD FIREFIGHTERS

(1) All those dead firefighters were blessed by a Catholic priest before they gave their lives.

(2) For people they didn't even know!

(3) Yes, they were TOO mostly Catholics!

(4) I just know!

(5) Therefore, God exists.

195. ARGUMENT FROM TODD BEAMER

(1) Todd Beamer prayed "Our Father" with a switchboard operator after his flight was hijacked.

(2) Todd Beamer was a hero.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

196. ARGUMENT FROM FALWELL

(1) Jerry Falwell said some really stupid things after September 11th.

(2) Then he apologized!

(3) He was inspired by God to repent!

(4) No, it had nothing to do with the public outcry!

(5) Why? Because God told me so!

(6) Therefore, God exists.

197. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTISTS

(1) Some famous scientists believed in God.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

198. ARGUMENT FROM FLOWERS, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (VII)

(1) That flower is pretty.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

199. ARGUMENT FROM INSTRUMENTATION

(1) You are an atheist.

(2) You did something kind.

(3) You are an instrument of God.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

200. ARGUMENT FROM QUANTUM PHYSICS

(1) Quantum physics uses an uncertainty principle.

(2) There is room for God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.