Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

[SECTION 05]

401. ARGUMENT FROM VOLTAIRE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY INVENTION

(1) Voltaire said, "If God didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him."

(2) I concur.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

402. ARGUMENT FROM NIETZSCHE

(1) Nietzsche said, "The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist."

(2) Not true. God's got PLENTY of excuses.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

403. ARGUMENT FROM FIGHT CLUB

(1) We are God's unwanted children.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

404. ARGUMENT FROM BASELESS CLAIM

(1) If you can show _______, then that would be evidence against God's existence.

(2) If you can't fill in that blank with some criteria, then the statement that there is a God seems to be without content, since no matter what the evidence was, you would still believe in a God.

(3) That's right.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

405. ARGUMENT FROM COMPLEXITY, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (XIII)

(1) That which is complex has a creator.

(2) The universe is complex.

(3) Only God is complex enough to create the universe.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

406. ARGUMENT FROM SOME JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES AT PERCHANCE'S DOOR (ULTRA-CONDENSED VERSION)

(1) Russia was atheistic.

(2) But Russia collapsed.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

407. ARGUMENT FROM 2+2=4

(1) 2+2=4

(2) Think about how improbable that is.

(3) If the universe were left to random chance, 2+24 would probably not equal 4.

(4) Instead, it might be equal to -43, or 7,894,321,695,844, or something else.

(5) Only God could make 2+2=4.

(6) Therefore, God exists.

408. FERMAT'S LAST ARGUMENT

(1) My proof is so big it doesn't fit into the margins.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

409. ARGUMENT FROM INTUITION

(1) Democritus, and the writers of creation myths, and correct intuitions that there are atoms, and the world had not existed forever, respectively.

(2) Therefore, intuition in general is reliable.

(3) My intuition tells me that God exists.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

410. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (I)

(1) Well . .

(2) Um . .

(3) You see . .

(4) Um . .

(5) Therefore, God exists.

411. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (II)

(1) I don't have an argument for God.

(2) My lack of an argument makes me morally superior to you atheists.

(3) This indicates a baseline standard of morality that must have been derived from God.

(4) MY GOD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *coughcough* Ouchies . .

(5) [see next argument for further details]

(6) Therefore, God exists.

412. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (III)

(1) No, I WASN'T arguing!

(2) WAS NOT!

(3) What do you mean, I'm arguing now?

(4) WHAT!?!?!?

(5) [see previous argument for further details]

(6) Therefore, God exists.

413. ARGUMENT FROM LENGTH

(1) Here is a 200 page document, all in one giant paragraph, that proves God's existence.

(2) You didn't refute the third argument on page 167.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

414. TERCEL'S ARGUMENT FROM MYTH GESTATION TIME

(1) The gospels were written X amount of time after the events they describe.

(2) It takes longer than X for mythological content to be added to writings about people.

(3) [Atheist points out examples of myths popping up about events after periods much shorter than X, even "living legends" who had myths circulate them during their own lifetime.]

(4) Oh, those are just exceptions to the rule!

(5) Therefore, God exists.

415. McCARTHY'S ARGUMENT

(1) All atheists are commies.

(2) You're not a commie, are you?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

416. ETERNAL'S ARGUMENT FROM GENITALIA

(1) I have a penis.

(2) I can pee and ejaculate with it.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

417. ARGUMENT FROM EXPERIENCE

(1) You're too young.

(2) You haven't yet experienced life's absurdity.

(3) You'll grow up.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

418. ARGUMENT FROM UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

(1) Life is full of important questions.

(2) I need God to answer them.

(3) No, I'm NOT jumping on the first bogus answer people have been feeding me with!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

419. ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM

(1) I like chocolate ice cream.

(2) I opened my freezer, and behold, there was chocolate ice cream in it.

(3) God is so nice with all his little attentions!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

420. ARGUMENT FROM MISDEFINITION OF A RELIGION

(1) You don't want to be an evolutionist, do you?

(2) [Atheist explains that evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion]

(3) But you believe in it.

(4) That means you support Social Darwinism.

(5) And that's just yucky.

(6) I don't want to be yucky, so I can't support evolution.

(7) But I need some explanation for the origin of life.

(8) [Atheist: Evolution has nothing to do with—]

(9) Therefore, God exists.

421. ARGUMENT FROM ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES

(1) First of all, I'd like to thank my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

(2) [shout out to all my homies in the balcony]

(3) I couldn't have done this without Jesus.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

422. ARGUMENT FROM QUOTE MINING

(1) Here is an irrelevant quote by Stephen Jay Gould that proves that evolution is wrong.

(2) [Atheist: Uhhh, that quote is a bit out of context. Actually, if you read the whole page from which the quote is taken, you'll see that—]

(3) Since evolution is wrong, creationism is true.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

423. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOTS AT THE DOOR

(1) Hello, we would like to talk about God —

(2) GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY!!!

(3) Therefore, God exists.

424. ARGUMENT FROM SNOTTY BRITISH BIOLOGIST

(1) Richard Dawkins ridicules religion in some of his books.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

425. ARGUMENT FROM OPENING OF MOUTH

(1) If you talk about something, that means it actually exists.

(2) God.

(3) Odin.

(4) Nah-uh.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

426. JOAN OF ARC'S ARGUMENT

(1) I found a sword in a field.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

427. ARGUMENT FROM STUDENT PAPERS

(1) I'm writing my paper at the last minute.

(2) I know I should have done it two weeks ago, when I first knew about the paper, but I was busy.

(3) I pray that God will help me get it done by morning.

(4) Yay! It's done!

(5) Who cares that it's not nearly as good as it could have been if I'd spent several days on it?

(6) Thank you, Lord!

(7) Therefore, God exists.

428. ARGUMENT FROM STUDENT PAPERS (II)

(1) This author is stupid bitch.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

429. ARGUMENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S REALITY

(1) I have experienced God.

(2) Other people have not.

(3) Poor people. There is something wrong with their perception of reality.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

430. ARGUMENT FROM "OFFICE SPACE"

(1) PC Load Letter, what the fuck is that?

(2) Someone must know what it means.

(3) Michael Bolton doesn't know (and he's smart).

(4) God would know.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

431. ARGUMENT FROM "AMERICAN BEAUTY" (I)

(1) This bag was swirling around in the wind.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

432. ARGUMENT FROM "AMERICAN BEAUTY" (II)

(1) Thora Birch.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

433. ARGUMENT FROM THE TGE PROJECT

(1) The TGE Project's list has gone on far longer than any reasonable person would expect.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

434. ARGUMENT FROM KEVIN BACON

(1) Kevin Bacon is haunting my dorm.

(2) He keeps rattling and scratching at my door at night.

(3) I prayed to Jebus, and Kevin Bacon hasn't broken down my door yet.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

435. ARGUMENT FROM MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE RADIO

(1) I was listening to the radio, and I started thinking about my favorite song.

(2) Then my favorite song started playing on the radio!

(3) God must have heard my thoughts!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

436. ARGUMENT FROM THE FORCE

(1) Dude, the Force is totally a metaphor for God!

(2) What do you mean that doesn't prove anything? It's Star Wars!

(3) Therefore, God exists.

437. ARGUMENT FROM "I WAS A SICK SON OF A BITCH"

(1) When I was an atheist, I smoked crack, robbed gas stations, raped prostitutes, and stole candy from babies.

(2) When I found Jesus, I stopped doing that stuff.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

438. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENT WEB DESIGN

(1) The AIG website is too complex to have arisen by chance.

(2) Therefore it was intelligently designed.

(3) Therefore, the designers are intelligent, so we can trust what they say.

(4) They say God exists.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

439. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENT WEB DESIGN

(1) The AIG website is too complex to have arisen by chance.

(2) Therefore it was intelligently designed.

(3) Creationists are not intelligent, so it must have been God.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

440. ARGUMENT FROM CONTRADICTION

(1) Assume that God exists.

(2) The atheist claims that God doesn't exist.

(3) But since this contradicts the original assumption, the atheist must be wrong.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

441. ARGUMENT FROM MESSED UP TRINITARIAN REASONING

(1) God is three.

(2) Three's a crowd.

(3) A crowd consists of people.

(4) People exist.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

442. THE INEVITABLE ARGUMENT FROM HOMER SIMPSON

(1) Doh!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

443. ARGUMENT FROM "24"

(1) The following takes place between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM on the day of the California Presidential Primary.

(2) [Christian spends an hour "witnessing"]

(3) Therefore, God exists.

444. ARGUMENT FROM POT

(1) Everything on Earth is here for people to use.

(2) Weed makes you feel really good.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

445. ARGUMENT FROM TASTY ANIMALS

(1) If we weren't meant to eat animals, they wouldn't be made of meat.

(2) Animals are made of meat.

(3) Therefore, God meant us to eat them.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

(4a) and he wants me to eat your cow.

446. ELRIC'S ARGUMENT FROM QUICK DEATH (TM)

(1) The Bible is full of mass murdering, infant slaying, child-killing bastards who claimed to do God's work.

(2) Personally, I would rather die a quick death at the hands of a madman than a slow one. Wouldn't you?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

447. ARGUMENT FROM HOMOSEXUALS (II)

(1) If God created us as in Adam and Eve, then there would not be homosexuals.

(2) Therefore, all homosexuals are really straight people just pretending to be gay.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

448. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY

(1) Let's imagine that God doesn't exist.

(2) That's absurd.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

449. ARGUMENT FROM BULLY

(1) I say God exists.

(2) If you don't believe me, I'll punch you in the face.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

450. ARGUMENT FROM RANDOM COUNTERPOINT

(1) God doesn't exist.

(2) Or does he . .?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

451. ARGUMENT FROM ASSHOLE

(1) God exists, asshole.

(2) Therefore, God exists. Asshole.

452. AUDREY MEYER'S ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE

(1) Ignorance runs rampant.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

453. ARGUMENT FROM STAR TREK (II)

(1) The makers of Star Trek presented the view that human life was planted by aliens.

(2) They did this because they knew that life emerging from elementary particles was improbable.

(3) But this only delays the answer to the problem of origins.

(4) Easy answer: God did it.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

454. JOB 19:25's ARGUMENT FROM GRATUITOUS SUFFERING

(1) A doctor I knew didn't believe in God.

(2) He saw children dying of cancer.

(3) They said they saw angels right before they passed away.

(4) He became convinced.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

455. ARGUMENT FROM PORN

(1) Atheists are immoral wretches who approve perversions such as incest.

(2) Just look at porn.

(3) Don't you watch Howard Stern? All porn stars are atheists!

(4) You bunch of perverts. Repent!

(5) Therefore, God exists.

456. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL EMPLOYMENT

(1) The other day I was praying about what kind of job I should take.

(2) Then I picked up the paper and read an article that mentioned the name of a popular donut shop. For some reason I felt "led" to go apply there. When I arrived, I felt a bit uneasy, but then I noticed one car parked out front — the 3 letters on the license plate were my exact initials in order. And the store van had the number 333 on it!

(3) They weren't hiring, but therefore, God exists anyway.

457. GILDA RADNER'S ARGUMENT

(1) What's all this fuss I hear about whether God exits?

(2) Well of course he does!

(3) If I'm going to go somewhere else, I have to exit this room.

(4) And God's been everywhere, so he must have done a lot of exiting.

(5) Therefore, God exits.

(6) [told that debate is whether God exists.]

(7) Oh. That's different. Never mind.

458. ARGUMENT FROM MATHEMATICIANS

(1) We humans are living beings, and thus biological.

(2) Biology is based on biochemistry.

(3) All biochemistry is chemistry.

(4) Chemistry is based on physics.

(5) Physics is based on mathematics.

(6) Therefore, everything is mathematical, including us.

(7) Polls show that, of all scientists, mathematicians are most likely to believe in God.

(8) Therefore, God exists.

459. ARGUMENT FROM PENIS ENLARGEMENT

(1) I became a born-again Christian when I was 12.

(2) Since then, my penis has grown about 2 inches.

(3) Hence, belief in God enlarges your penis.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

460. ARGUMENT FROM CONSEQUENCES OF THE ABSURD (THE MOST IRREFUTABLE ARGUMENT)

(1) Suppose God didn't exist.

(2) Then he wouldn't have made the universe.

(3) And he wouldn't have spread his word.

(4) And he wouldn't have sent his own son to sacrifice himself for mankind.

(5) But the universe does exist.

(6) And the Bible is spread all over the world.

(7) And Jesus did die.

(8) Therefore, God exists.

461. VANDERZYDEN'S ARGUMENT FROM SECRET KNOWLEDGE

(1) There is overwhelming evidence for the existence of God.

(2) No, I'm not going to tell you what it is.

(3) The only possible explanation for your lack of knowledge is that you haven't studied enough.

(4) Or maybe your atheistic presupposition is blinding you to the truth.

(5) But trust me — it's overwhelming.

(6) It's so overwhelming that no reasonable person can honestly reach the conclusion that God does not exist.

(7) Therefore, God exists.

462. ARGUMENT FROM OSAMA

(1) If Osama bin Laden were saved by God, then you would see the effects of God on him.

(2) But he hasn't gotten saved by God.

(3) But just pretend he has.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

463. ARGUMENT FROM ENGINEERING

(1) I'm an engineer.

(2) If I applied the same logic to my engineering work as I do to my rationale for God's existence, then the things I engineer would fall apart.

(3) Somehow, I am still employed as an engineer.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

464. GEMMA THERESE'S ARGUMENT FROM THE WONDERFUL NATURE OF MONKS AND NUNS

(1) I have met many nuns who seem to be gentle, sweet women living for Christ.

(2) Some of these nuns have dementia.

(3) Others are of sound mind, but must watch and understand what is happening as the minds of those with dementia are slowly destroyed.

(4) Despite these awful things, they have total trust in God and dedication to him.

(5) I sat with one once who said, "I was just thinking about how good God has been to us."

(6) Even the ones who have dementia, etc. remember their prayers.

(7) It cannot possibly be that the nuns with worse characters are kept away from the volunteers.

(8) Nor can it possibly be that nuns with severe dementia who no longer remember their prayers are kept away from the volunteers.

(9) All monks and nuns simply must be as wonderful as those I know.

(10) By contrast, atheists are arrogant people who refuse to shut themselves away uselessly in cloisters singing praise to atheism.

(11) Therefore, God exists.

465. ARGUMENT FROM IRS DIFFICULTY

(1) The IRS fucking sucks.

(2) Mr. Kent Hovind is busy making them chase their tails!

(3) So what if half of America likes to waste their time?

(4) Therefore, God exists.

466. ARGUMENT FROM REPETITION

(1) God exists.

(2) God exists.

(3) God exists.

...

(n) God exists.

(n+1) Therefore, God exists.

467. ARGUMENT FROM IMPERFECT REPETITION

(1) God God God God God God God God God God God God Jesus God God God God God God God God God Lord and Savior God God God God God God God God God Hell God God God God God God God God God God God God God Eternal Paradise God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

468. ARGUMENT FROM NOAH'S ARK

(1) They found a boat on a mountain somewhere.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

469. ARGUMENT FROM SCHIZOPHRENIA

(1) I hear voices in my head.

(2) The voices say they are God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

470. ARGUMENT FROM WORDS I MADE UP

(1) (insert religious rant)

(2) Dr. Heckle and Mr. Jeckle.

(3) You see I create words, why can't God create the universe?

(4) Therefore, God exists.

471. ARGUMENT FROM SALAD BAR

(1) I only believe in the parts of the Bible that I want to believe.

(2) The parts I believe are logical and make sense.

(3) Therefore, the Bible is logical and makes sense.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

472. SILENT DAVE'S ARGUMENT

(1) Chicken Girl.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

473. CHICKEN GIRL'S ARGUMENT

(1) Silent Dave.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

474. ARGUMENT FROM SKEWED ASSUMPTIONS

(1) You're an atheist? But you're so nice!

(2) I just assumed you were a Christian.

(3) The niceness must be the light of God shining in you, whether you know it or not.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

475. ARGUMENT FROM ANGER

(1) Jesus came to bring peace, and there's not a word in the Bible that says otherwise.

(2) [Atheist quotes the "I came not to bring peace but a sword" part]

(3) You sound angry when you say that. Why are you so angry?

(4) You're angry at God, aren't you?

(5) Therefore, God exists.

476. ARGUMENT FROM SELF-EVIDENCE

(1) People can agree on certain things, right?

(2) For example, we can agree that there is a tree standing right over there.

(3) We don't spend a lot of time arguing about the existence of the tree, because it's so self-evident.

(4) God's existence is similarly self-evident.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

477. ARGUMENT FROM SELF-EVIDENCE, ABRIDGED

(1) God is self-evident.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

478. ARGUMENT FROM CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE OF OBJECTIVE MORALS

(1) Every culture thinks murder is bad.

(2) They do so!

(3) And God forbids murder.

(4) And every culture thinks incest is bad, and God forbids incest.

(5) They do so, too!

(6) Therefore, God exists.

479. ARGUMENT FROM NERVOUS SCIENTISTS

(1) Scientists working on evolution are beginning to realize that it's a failed theory.

(2) They are so! They're just too nervous to admit their mistake, because they've led all those souls to Hell.

(3) Why would they be nervous if God didn't exist?

(4) Therefore, God exists.

480. ARGUMENT FROM EMINEM

(1) I like Eminem's music.

(2) He's using it to spread good to the world.

(3) One day, everyone who listens to his music will realize he's singing about stupid things to keep people from doing them.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

481. ARGUMENT FROM THIS WONDERFUL HISTORIAN

(1) There's this wonderful historian!

(2) His academic credentials are NEVER doubted by like-minded Christians!

(3) Now, this historian has proved conclusively, to his own satisfaction and to the satisfaction of like-minded Christians, that the Bible must be totally true.

(4) Therefore, both the Old Testament and the New Testament have been proven true.

(5) I hear the skeptic ask: If this his historically true, why do so many historians doubt the reliability of the Bible?

(6) The answer is, there is a conspiracy among the unfaithful to prevent this proof of Christianity being known.

(7) Naturally, the conspiracy must include powerful people like President Bush, or it could not succeed.

(8) Doubt not, O unbeliever, only have FAITH!

(9) Therefore, God exists.

482. CHRISTMAS ARGUMENT

(1) How can you doubt Christianity now, at this most special and most Holy time of the year?

(2) Today, oh unbeliever, surely you must fall down in adoration when you consider how God sent his only son to redeem all mankind from Hell!

(3) Today, oh unbeliever, surely you must fall down in adoration when you consider how we are all God's children!

(4) Today, oh unbeliever, surely you must remember how many will go to perdition, as it says in the Holy Book of Revelation!

(5) God in his infinite compassion does not want you to go to Hell, which He in His infinite mercy created!

(6) Cease your unbelief, and join in the wonder of Christmas!

(7) Praise the Baby Jesus!

(8) Praise the Baby Jesus!

(9) Praise the Baby Jesus!

(10) Therefore, God exists.

483. ARGUMENT FROM PROBABLE PROOF

(1) God exists.

(2) Can I prove it? Probably.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

484. ARGUMENT FROM EGO

(1) God is what the universe revolves around.

(2) The universe revolves around me.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

485. ARGUMENT FROM FLUFFY CATS IN SUNLIGHT

(1) A cat basking in sunlight smells good.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

486. ARGUMENT FROM LEGOLAS (TEENAGED GIRL'S ARGUMENT)

(1)

(2) Therefore, God exists.

487. ARGUMENT FROM OVERSTRESSED TEACHING ASSISTANT

(1) I have to write two papers and grade a hundred.

(2) There's no possible way I can get all of this work done!

(3) [16-hour working frenzy]

(4) I got it all done! God must have helped me!

(5) Therefore, God exists.

488. ARGUMENT FROM T.A. PRAYING OVER PACKED LUNCH

(1) O Lord, bless this Lunchable, and let it not be all moldy like the last one.

(2) [gingerly peeks]

(3) It's not moldy! Praise the Lord!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

489. ARGUMENT FROM NOTHING

(1) Nothing comes from nothing.

(2) God is not nothing.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

490. ARGUMENT FROM DESCARTES BASTARDIZES, PART DEUX

(1) I don't think.

(2) Therefore, God is.

491. ARGUMENT FROM SALEM WITCH TRIALS

(1) The Bible says, "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

(2) So we killed them.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

492. ARGUMENT FROM "FIELD OF DREAMS"

(1) He built it.

(2) They came.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

493. ARGUMENT FROM GEORGE MICHAEL

(1) George Michael says you got to have a' faith, a' faith, a' faith.

(1) I have faith.

(1) Therefore, God exists.

494. ARGUMENT FROM COMPLEXITY (II), a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (XIV)

(1) The human body is too complex to have happened by chance.

(2) So it must have been designed.

(3) [Atheist: Well, wouldn't God be even more complex? So does he have a designer?]

(4) See previous argument.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

495. ARGUMENT FROM CHER

(1) Do you believe in life after love?

(2) I can feel something inside me.

(3) That something must be God.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

496. ARGUMENT FROM ENTHUSIASTIC GOSPEL MUSIC a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM BLUES BROTHERS

(1) When I go to church, people dance, sing, and clap.

(2) It's fun. I like dancing, singing and clapping.

(3) Also, the youth group gets ice cream and cookies from the collection money!

(4) I like ice cream and cookies.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

497. ARGUMENT FROM LIGHT SWITCH

(1) My husband slowly died of cancer.

(2) But the light switch in the cellar somehow started working properly again, and to my knowledge my husband hadn't fixed it before he died.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

498. ARGUMENT FROM INTUITION AND CONSCIENCE

(1) We feel certain things to be right or wrong.

(2) The reason we feel wrong about certain things is because of our intuition, a.k.a. our conscience.

(3) I'll just ignore the resemblance of intuition with our thoughts, emotions, and animal instinct, or our childhood indoctrination by our culture.

(4) Intuition and conscience are so special! They must be given by God!

(5) Therefore, God exists.

499. ARGUMENT FROM EVIL ATHEIST BOARD

(1) Look at this board. People are so cynical, sarcastic, abusive, hateful, etc.

(2) On the other hand, Christian boards are always gentle, nice, supportive, considerate, etc.

(3) I'll just ignore all the censorship rules in Christian boards, and also my own attitude.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

500. YGUY'S ARGUMENT

(1) What is the root of all knowledge?

(2) A six-year-old can answer this, while you smart-ass atheists can't.

(3) No, it's not Sesame Street.

(4) It's the phrase "I don't know."

(5) Therefore, God exists.