Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Rights of Husband and Wife

Hujjatul IslamShaykh Muhammad IsmailRajabi Marhoom

Urdu Translation:Sayyid Ghulam Hasnain Kararvi Marhoom

English Translation:Sayyid Athar HusainRizvi

sayedathar@hotmail.com

Published by:Az -Zahra Publishing Co.

Mumbai, India

www.alhassanain.org/english

Bismillaahir Rah’maanir Rah’eem

Allaa humma Kunli waliyyikal H’ujjat Ibnil H’asan S’alaawaatuka a’laihi wa a’laa aabaaih . FeeHaadhihis Sa’ati wa feekulli Saa’at waliyan wa h’aafiz’anw wa Qaaidanw wa Naas’ira wa daleelanw wa a’ina .H’atta tuskinahu arz”aka t’au -awa tomatti a’ahu feeha T’aweela .

All Rights Reserved

Title: Rights of Husband and Wife

Compiler:Hujjatul Islamwal Muslimeen Janab Agha Shaykh IsmailRajabi (t.s .)

Urdu Translation:Sayyid Ghulam Hasnain Kararvi (t.s .)

English Translation:Sayyid Athar HusainRizvi

Publisher:Az -Zahra Publishing Company

Year of publication: 2011

Az -Zahra Publishing Company

P. O. Box 3471, Mumbai – 400 003

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

Peacebe uponMahdi (a.t.f.s .)

Notice:

This workis published on behalf of www.alhassanain.org/english

The typing errorsaren’t corrected.

Table of Contents

Know your Islam 7

Islam encourages marriage 8

Love between husband and wife 10

Mutual rights of husband and wife 14

Rights of wife on the husband 15

Reward for husbands who help in household chores 16

Consequences of misbehavior with family members 18

Rights of husband on the wife 19

Traditions 20

Extent of obeying the husband 21

Reward of serving drinking water to the husband 22

Jihad of the woman 23

To hurt the husband verbally 24

Loving children 25

Important point 26

Beating children 27

Rights of children 28

Some moral rules and regulations 29

O ladies having a firm faith; pay attention to the following traditions: 29

What the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) saw on the night of Meraj? 30

Dates of Births & martyrdoms of Fourteen Infallibles (a.s.) 32

Ijtihad and Taqleed 33

Ijtihad 34

Conditions necessary for Ijtihad 35

Taqleed 36

[An Important Point] 38

Know your Islam

According to the teachings of Islam, knowledge andMarifat (cognition) are very important and hence one is often encouraged to adopt them. At everystep one is motivated to understand religious issues, so that one who accepts Islam, becomes properly aware of the teachings of Islam and that his religion should not be a product of emulating his ancestors.

It is awell known fact that weaknesses of a person are used to misguide him; because when a person is not familiar with something, he will take at face value whatever information is conveyed to him and he will act on that same information.

Enemies of Islam have always used this weakness of Muslims to distance them from religion. They introduced Islam in any way they liked and presented this distorted image of Islam to Muslims to make them skeptical about Islam. Sometimes they ridiculed the secondary laws of Islam and sometimes they raised objections against the law of marriage and divorce in Islam.

But those whose were cognizant of the facts and those who understood Islamic teachings in the light of the Holy Quran and teachings ofAhle Bayt (a.s .) considered these objections to be ignorance of enemies of Islam and their age old. When these Islamic scholars started presenting the correct version of Islam to the world, the seekers of truth became devoted to Islam. Indeed, there was never as much need to understand Islam correctly as it is today.

Az -Zahra Publishing Co. has planned to publish brief booklets about Islamic teachings onday to day problems to enlighten the Muslim youth about Islam.

This booklet is the first link of this series, which was compiled byHujjatul IslamShaykh Muhammad IsmailRajabi (t.s .) and which was first published byIdarah Nashr Uloom Aale Muhammad. Keeping in view its importance and utility, itis being re-published with the permission of the writer.

We hope thatthis humble service of ours would be accepted in the court ofHazrat Wali al-Asr (a.t.f.s .)

Az -Zahra Publishing Co.

P. O. Box 3471, Mumbai 400 003.

Islam encourages marriage

Marriage is declaredto be a highly emphasized recommended act in Islam; however, sometimes due to various reasons, it can even become obligatory. For example ifnot getting married would lead one to commit sins, like adultery etc. the Holy Quran says:

وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاء يُغْنِهِمُ للهَُّ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَللهَُّ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

“And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Surah Nur 24:32)

In human life, sexual instinct and emotions are important factors and motivations to get pleasure and success. This emotion, with regard to its magnetism and intensity is very strong and creates a great desire in man and woman. It fills their whole being with fire of eagerness and love; and the two of them try to come together and unite in order to cool the fire in a pleasing manner.

From the beginning till the present age, the matter of woman and man and sexual relations between them have been topics of discussion in gatherings of knowledge and religion and all sorts of views (extremist as well as moderate) are presented with regard to them.

Christians and some philosophers of ethics used to view sexual relations as animal acts, declaring them to be filthy; and they had all along tried to suppress this emotion. Freud and his followers are included among those who acted with extremism with regard to sexual relations and have condemned it severely with legal and moral ties. In this brief book, itis not aimed to research and criticize the views of these two groups. On thecontrary our aim is only to present the Islamic in detail.

We should know that prophets are foremost among those who adopted the path of moderation. They have, by the command of Allah, in their respective eras, on one side encouraged people to marry and form families; on the otherhand they advocated against every kind of uncontrolled behavior and warned the human society of its danger.

In Islamic teachings, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) has paid full attention to the emotion of sex and continued to encourage his followers to adopt this style of family life and sexual union, which is in accordance with demands of nature and along with it, he also warned them of the horrible consequences of bachelorhood and single status. Thus on one occasion, the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s .) said:

مَنْ اَحَبَّ فِطْرَ تِيْ فَلْيَتَسَنِّ بِسُنَّتِيْ وَ مِنْ سُنَّتِيْ النَّكَاحُ

“One who is attached to my nature, should act on my practice (Sunnah ) and adopt my way – and one of my practices is marriage.” (Makarim Akhlaq )

On another occasion, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .)said: “The best people of myUmmah are those who marry and those who have chosen wives for themselves and the worst people of theUmmah are those who have avoided a life of matrimony and who live as bachelors.” (Mustadrak , Vol. 2, Pg. 531)

Islam has framed laws of sexual union for material and spiritual well being of man and woman keeping it in mind the creation and nature of human beings so that both (man and woman) become satisfied of each other, and at the same fulfill their sexual needs while observing legal limits. Through all these methods, the opposite sexes are restrained from acts deviated from nature. Afterthat one who had deviated sexually is labeled as a transgressor and introduced to the society in the following words:

فَمَنِ ابْتَغَى وَرَاء ذَ لِكَ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الْعَادُونَ

“But whoever seeks to go beyond that, these are they that exceed the limits…” (Surah Mominoon 23:7)

The interesting point is that the Holy Quran and Islamic traditional reports have discussed various aspects of man woman relationship and sexual relations between opposite sexes; and for each of them verses of Quran and traditions are present. Here we shall present some of them, keeping brevity in mind:

Relation between man and wife is the natural method of procreation,birth and human survival.

The family, which comes into being upon the union of two sexes after marriage and the children bornas a result of it, are pure, chaste and legitimate; and the vacuum created by the passing away of past generation is filled up with a new one and consequently the human species is protected from extinction.

نِسَآؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُواْ حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ

“Your wives are atilth for you, so go into yourtilth when you like…” (Surah Baqarah 2:223)

In another verse, the Holy Quran says:

وَللهُّ جَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَجَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَزْوَاجِكُم بَنِينَ وَحَفَدَة

“And Allah has made wives for you from among yourselves, and has given you sons and grandchildren from your wives…” (Surah Nahl 16:72)

In both these verses, the topic of marriageis discussed as a continuation of generations.

In the first verse, sperm of manis compared to a seed, which is capable of growth and womb is compared to land, which is capable of nurturing and growing the seed. In the second verse, the unseen world of creationis mentioned . The Almighty Allah has called procreation as the consequence of union of man and woman.

Love between husband and wife

Although sexual union of man and woman cools down the fire of passion and their natural need is fulfilled, but their same relations should be mingled along with the subtle feelings of love and affection, and even if they have the warmth of love, warmth will be created in their lives as well, which is very natural. Relations of husband and wife full of love and attachment become very sweet and pleasant. In the Holy Quran, special attentionis accorded to love and friendship between men and women and it has mentioned it in clear words as follows:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَة

“And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion…” (Surah Rum 30:21)

So that along with matrimonial relationships, there should be love and affection as well.

Upon the onset of puberty, sexual desire reaches its peak and attraction between young boys and girls assume the shape of a tremendous force. This blind and senseless emotion of nature demands fulfillment in any form and in any condition; due to which there is possibility that youths become targets of impurity andinchastity . In such sensitive times, the best way to fulfill their desire is permanent or temporary marriage, which may keep them safe from destruction and corruption. That is why leaders of the holy religion of Islam have encouraged marriage. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s .) said:

يَا مَعْشَرَ الشُّبَّانِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّه اَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَ احْصَنُ لِلْفَرَجِ

“O young people, those of you who can marry must definitely marry, because marriage itself is the best means, which prevents the eyes from corruption and mischief and which protects the private parts from sins andinchastity .” (Makarim Akhlaq )

According to report of ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .), one day the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) went on the pulpit and after praise of Allah, said:

“O people,Jibraeel came to me from the court of the Almighty Allah and said: Girls are like fruits, which if not plucked in time are rendered foul by the rays of the sun and even a slight wind disperses them. In the same way, when girls reach maturity, like other matureladies they feel in themselves sexual desire and inclination and its cure is nothing, but a husband. If they are not married, they are not at all safe from moral corruption. Because they are also after all human and human beings are never safe from mistakes and sins.” (Furu al-Kafi , Vol. 5, Pg. 337)

The Holy Quran has termed the relation between man and woman to be a surety of chastity and honor and said:

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

“…they arean apparel for you and you are an apparel for them…” (Surah Baqarah 2:187)

The function of clothes is to hide defects and veil the private parts and along with it, itis also a protection against many unfavorable circumstances and diseases.

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .)says: “One who wants to meet his Lord as a pure and chaste person should select from himself a legal life partner and procure from himself the causes of chastity and honor.” (Mustadrak , Vol. 4, Pg. 530)

In other words, the leaders of Islam on one hand tried to restrain their followers from fornication and every type sexual deviations; on the otherhand they laid great emphasis on marriage and family life. They also said that in the view of Islamic law, marriage is the best divine practice. The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

مَا بُنِيَ فِي الْإِسْلَامِ بِنَاءٌ أَحَبُّ إِلَى للهَِّ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ وَ أَعَزُّ مِنَ التَّزْوِيجِ

“In Islam no building is founded, which is more liked by Allah than the institution of marriage.” (Mustadrak , Vol. 2, Pg. 531).

It is also mentioned inMustadrakul Wasail that when a person marries in the beginning of his youth, the Satanwails and weeps and exclaims:“Alas, he has saved one third of his faith. Now he will be able to protect the remaining two-third through piety.”

A person namedAkkaf came to the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) and the Prophet asked him if he was married. Hereplied: “No, O Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .).” The Prophetasked: “Do you want the well being of your body and improvement in your financial position?” Hereplied: “Yes indeed.”

His Eminence (s.a.w.s .) encouraged him to marry and warned him of the evil consequences of bachelorhood. Then hesaid: “OAkkaf , I pity you; get married; get married, because at present you are included among sinners; get married or you will be included among sinners. Get married or you will be included among Christian monks. Get married or you will be included among the brothers of Satan.” (Mustadrak , Vol. 2, Pg. 531)

Imam Ali Reza (a.s .) says: A lady asked Imam MuhammadBaqir (a.s .):“I am a spinster.” His Eminencesaid: “What do you mean by spinsterhood?” Shereplied: “I have decided that I will remain single forever.” “What for?” asked the Imam. Shereplied: “To gain the ranks of excellence and perfections.”

Imam MuhammadBaqir (a.s .) said:“Look at your decision with justice. If not getting married was really an excellence, Lady Zahra (s.a .) was more deserving of this rank and it is also that no one can exceed the Lady of Judgment Day in excellence.”

It once happened that some companions of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) gave up sexual relations, food,water and sleep to discipline their selves. LadyUmme Salma (r.a .) came to know about this and she informed the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s .). The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) went to them and said:

فَخَرَجَ إِلَى أَصْحَابِهِ فَقَالَ أَ تَرْغَبُونَ عَنِ النِّسَاءِ إِنِّي آتِي النِّسَاءَ وَ آكُلُ بِالنَّهَارِ وَ أَنَامُ بِاللَّيْلِ فَمَنْ رَغِبَ عَنْ سُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي

“Have you left your wives and turned away from them. I, whois your Prophet, go my wives, eat during the day and sleep at night. And whoever turns away from my practice is not from me.” (Wasailush Shia , Vol. 5, Pg. 2)

Leaders of Islam have included a chaste and good wife among the fortunes of a person and have considered herto be a protector of religion for the pious and taught that the worship of married men and women in the view of Allah was much more valuable and important than the worship of those who are unmarried.

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) has said:

مِنْ سَعَادَةِ الْمَرْءِ الزَّوْجَةُ الصَّالِحَة

“The good fortune of man includes that he should have a chaste wife.” (Furu al-Kafi , Vol. 5, Pg. 327)

ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .) has narrated from the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) that His Eminence said:“Those who get married, have in fact saved half their faith.”

Abu Abdullah, ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .) said:

رَكْعَتَانِ يُصَلِّيْهَا الْمُتَزَوِّجُ اَفْضَلُ مِنْ سَبْعِيْنَ رَكْعَةٍ يُصَلِّيْهَا اَعْزَبُ

“Two units (rakats ) of prayers performed by a married person are more excellent than seventy units prayed by an unmarried person.” (Wasailush Shia , Vol. 4, Pg. 1)

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

مَنْ تَزَوَّجَ اَحْرَزَ نِصْفَ دِيْنِه فَلْيَتَّقِ للهَ فِيْ النِّصْفِ الْآخَرِ

“One who has married has saved half his religion. Thus he should continue to fear Allah for the remaining half.” (Layali al-Akhbar )

ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .) said:

اَلْمُتَزَوِّجُ النَّائِمُ اَفْضَلُ عِنْدَ للهِ مِنَ الصَّائِم الْعَزْبِ

“A married person, who is asleep, is better than the unmarried person who is fasting.” (Layali al-Akhbar )

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

لَا تَنْكِحِ الْمَرْءَةَ لِاَرْبَعَةٍ لِمَالِهَا وَ جَمَالِهَا وَ نَسَبِهَا وَ لَذَتِهَا فَعَلَيْكَ بِذَاتِ الدِّيْنِ

“Do not marry a woman for four things: Wealth, beauty, genealogy and fulfillment of lust. It is obligatory on you to marry a religious woman.” (Jamiul Akhbar )

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

إِيَّاكُمْ وَ خَضْرَاءَ الدِّمَنِ قِيلَ يَا رَسُولَ للهَِّ وَ مَا خَضْرَاءُ الدِّ مَنِ قَالَ الْمَرْأَةُ الْحَسْنَاءُ فِي مَنْبِتِ السَّوْء

“Beware of the grass that grows on the dunghill.” Peopleasked: “What is greenery of the dunghill?” Hereplied: “A beautiful woman born in debased families.” (Biharul Anwar, Vol. 23, Pg. 54)

ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .) said: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

إِيَّاكُمْ وَ تَزَوُّجَ الْحَمْقَاءِ فَإِنَّ صُحْبَتَهَا ضَيَاعٌ وَ وُلْدُهَا ضِبَاعٌ

“You should avoid marrying foolish women, because if you marry such a one, she would bring down calamities and children born through her would be useless.” (Ja’fariyat , Pg. 9)

A person named HusainIbne Bashshar Wasti , wrote a letter to Imam Ali Reza (a.s .) that there was a woman in his household who wanted to marry him; but she was having a very bad nature.

Imam (a.s .) replied:“You must definitely not marry her if she is having bad morals and manners.” (Wasailush Shia , Vol. 5, Pg. 10)

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

شَارِبُ الْخَمْرِ لَا يَتَزَوَّجْ إِذَا خَطَبَ

“If a drunkard wants to marry, you must never give him your daughter in marriage to him.” (Wasailush Shia , Vol. 5, Pg. 9)

This matter, in the view ofAhle Bayt (a.s .), was so significant that ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .) said:

أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ أَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا وَ هُوَ شَارِبُ الْخَمْرِ كَانَ لَهَا مِنَ الْخَطَايَا بِعَدَدِ نُجُومِ السَّمَاءِ وَ كُلُّ مَوْلُودٍ يَلِدُ مِنْهُ فَهُوَ نَجِسٌ وَ لَا يَقْبَلُ للهَُّ تَعَالَى مِنْهَا صَرْفاً وَ لَا عَدْلًا حَتَّى يَمُوتَ زَوْجُهَا أَوْ تَخْلَعَ نَفْسَهَا

“A wife who cohabits with her drunkard husband, it is as if she has committed sins equal to the number of stars in the sky; and the child born from that man would be impure.And the Almighty Allah will not accept any obligatory and recommended acts of that woman. Till the time her husband dies or releases that woman from matrimonial ties.” (Layali al-Akhbar )

Mutual rights of husband and wife

Matrimonial tie between husband and wife is the most pleasing tie according to creation. Islam has not exempted men from responsibilities and rights of women. Both have mutual rights on each other; and Islam has declared the wrong and deviated pre-Islamic customs to be invalid, or customs started by other communities who considered woman to be a plaything, so that husband and wife may fulfill their mutual rights seriously and with responsibility and that they may live together amicably. Also, that they do not see the world with a fleeting glance in order to save their children and future generations from corruption.

Rights of wife on the husband

With this aim in view, the first duty of man is that he should undertake to bear the cost of food,clothes and shelter and all personal expenses of the wife.Also , by expressing love and behaving nicely to her he can make their married life an epitome of happiness. He should also through his daring, bravery and strengthbe a support to the wife so that she may spend a life of peace under the care of her husband.Moreover, he should also accord her respect and be kind enough to forgive and forget her minor faults, which are imminent in the life of a married couple, asMulla Mohsin Faiz Kashani has mentioned in the chapter of rights of wife on the husband: Some people inquired from the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) about the rights a wife has on her husband. Hereplied: “Man should overlook her little unintentional errors and forgive her if she makes a serious mistake.”

All of us know that life does not consists of eating and sleeping; on the contrary acts and emotions like love and loyalty and expressions of similar things are sources of human culture and civilization. A woman, who is herself a personification of emotions, in addition to her expenses, she also expects love and satisfaction of the husband. This is also a right, which due to its greatness,is not concealed from the view of Islam. On the contrary, itis mentioned among the rights of the wife on her husband.

Shahab Abde Rabb says that he asked ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .):“What are the rights of women on the husband?”

Hereplied: “To bear all her expenses and not to terrify her by frowning at her. If he does that, that is in addition to bearing the expenses he also meets her with a smiling face anddisplayes the signs of his love for her, by Allah he has fulfilled the rights of his wife.” (Al-Kafi )

One of the rights of wife is to have sex with her husband. With regard to fulfillment of this right, detailed laws and rulesare mentioned in books of jurisprudence.

The greatness and significance of the rights canbe gauged from the following tradition: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said: “Jibraeel , the divine angel emphasized so much on fulfillment of rights of women that I thought that divorcing would be an unlawful act.”

أَوْصَانِي جَبْرَئِيلُ ع بِالْمَرْأَةِ حَتَّى ظَنَنْتُ أَنَّهُ لَا يَنْبَغِي طَلَاقهَا

That isJibraeel emphasized and advised so much with regard to women thatI began to think that it is wrong to divorce her. (Al-Kafi )

Among the rights of women, are that the husbands should be kind to them and respect their rights as the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) says:

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِ وَ أَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِنِسَائِ

“The best of men are those who are the best of husbands and I am myself as such. I am most excellent among you in fulfillment of the rights of women.” (Man LaYahzarahul Faqih )

Reward for husbands who help in household chores

One day, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) came to the house of Ali and Fatima Zahra (a.s .) and found that Ali was cleaningMasoor dal and Fatima was sitting besides the cooking pot. The Prophetasked: “O Ali, listen to me. I don’t say anything except what Allah has commanded me to.”

مَا مِنْ رَجُلٍ يُعِينُ امْرَأَتَهُ فِي بَيْتِهَا إِلَّا كَانَ لَهُ بِكُلِّ شَ عْرَةٍ عَلَى بَدَنِهِ عِبَادَة سَنَةٍ صِيَا م نَهَارُهَا وَ قِيَامٌ لَيْ لُهَا وَ أَعْطَاهُ للهُّ مِنَ الثَّوَابِ مَا أَعْطَاهُ للهُّ الصَّابِرِينَ وَ دَاوُدَ النَّبِيَّ وَ يَعْقُوبَ وَ عِيسَى ع

“One who helps in household chores earns the reward in exchange of each hair of his body of a year of worship, which is spent in prayers and fasting. And the Almighty Allah gives him recompense like that of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s .),Dawood ,Yaqoob and Isa (a.s .).” (Jamius Saadaat , Vol. 2, Pg. 142)

Itis also mentioned inJamius Saadaat that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:“O Ali, one who helps his wife and children in household chores without reminding them of his favor; the Almighty Allah includes his name in the list of martyrs. Each day and night heis given the rewards of a thousand martyrs. For each step that he takes, reward of one Hajj and oneUmrah is written in the scroll of his deeds. In exchange of each vein of his body, he is gifted a city in Paradise.”

It is again mentioned inJamius Saadaat that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:“Being in the house for a moment in service of one family is better than worship of a thousand years, a thousandHajjs , a thousandUmrahs , emancipating a thousand slaves, participating in a thousand battles, visiting a thousand sick persons, worship of a thousand Fridays, attending a thousand funerals, feeding a thousand hungry people, dressing a thousand people, donating a thousand horses in charity, donating a thousand Dinars to the poor, recitingTaurat ,Injeel and Quran a thousand times, freeing a thousand prisoners and donating a thousand sheep to the poor; and one who serves his family members, before he departs from this world, he sees his position in Paradise.”

The author of this sameJamius Saadaat narrates from the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) that he said:“Serving the family members conceals the deadly sins of a person, cools the fury of Allah, theMighty and Sublime; it is a dower forHourul Eeen , it increases good deeds and elevates the ranks.”

Author ofMakarimul Akhlaq has narrated fromIshaq Ibne Ammar that he asked ImamJa’far Sadiq (a.s .): What is the right of the wife on her husband?

Hereplied: “He should provide for her food and clothes and if she happens to commit an unintentional mistake, he should forgive her.”

Itis mentioned inIrshadul Quloob ofDailami that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:“On Judgment Day, I would be the enemy of one who beats the wife unjustly.”

Therefore you must never torture your wives physically, because one, who beats them unjustly, has in fact disobeyed the command of Allah and His Prophet.

It is narrated from Imam Ali (a.s .) inGhurarul Hikam that he said:“Indeed woman is like a toy; whoever takes her, should advise her.”

It is mentioned inWasailush Shia that ImamZainul Abideen (a.s .) said:“One who provides more comfort and luxuries to his dependents, becomes more eligible for divine pleasure.”

It is also mentioned inWasailush Shia that Imam Ali Reza (a.s .) said that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:“A person who is capable should provide as much comfort to his dependents as he can so that because of his strictness and miserliness, the dependents may not wish for his death.”

Itis narrated fromIbne Abbas inMakarimul Akhlaq that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:“One who purchases a gift for his dependents, the recompense in the view of Allah is equal to that of one who has helped the oppressed.” Then he said with regard todistribution: “He should first give to daughters and then he should give to the sons. One who makes his daughter happy, his recompense is equal to emancipating a slave from descendants of Prophet Ismail (a.s .). Alsoone who pleases his child, is like one who has wept with fear of Allah and the reward of one who has wept for fear of Allah are gardens filled with bounties.”

The author ofMustadrakul Wasail narrates: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:

لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ وَسِّعَ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ قَتَرَ عَلَى عِيَالِهِ

“He is not from us (That is he is not having a spiritual relation with us) who is wealthy, but is severe and miserly with his dependents.”

Consequences of misbehavior with family members

Saad Ibne Maaz (r.a .), a prominent companion of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) passed away. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s .) personally supervised his funeraland also carried the bier; he also climbed down into the grave, placed his body in it and filled up his grave with his own hands. On seeing the special attention of the Prophet for her son’s funeral,Saad’s mother remarked:

يَا سَعْدُ هَنِيْئًا لَكَ الْجَنَّة

“OSaad , congratulations for gaining Paradise!”

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) said:“Wait a bit,don’t make a guess in divine acts. Your son is involved in a great difficulty at this moment.” When people asked forexplanation the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s .) said:

اِنَّه كَانَ فِيْ خُ لُقِه مَعَ اَهْلِ سُوْءٍ

“He was having a very harsh behavior towards his family members.”

Rights of husband on the wife

A husband is also having a number of rights on the wife.

One of the rights is with regard to sexual intimacy. It is the duty of the wife on this occasion to giveherself over to the husband fully. It is clear that this fulfillment of the husband’s right is also the fulfillment of her natural needs and demand. She must also guard the husband’s property and honor in his absence. She must not commit breach of trust in his property and must not reveal his confidential matters. On the contrary, she must remain his trustee and safe-keeper of his secrets.

She must not open the door for others without the permission of the husband and must not allow strangers into the house. Shemust not by allowing strangers into the house make her husband suspicious of her.

She must value the words of her husband, hisplans and his efforts and care with regard to life and she must be obedient to him. She must live with cooperation and understanding and adopt a behavior, whichis not only liked by the husband, but which also makes him attentive to her.

Traditions

It is narrated from Imam MuhammadBaqir (a.s .) that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .) and said:“O Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s .), what is the right of the husband on his wife?” His Eminence (s.a.w.s .)replied: “She must obey him fully and must not give away anything from the house in charity without his permission. She must not keep recommended fasts without his permission. She must never spurn his advances. She must not step out of the house without his permission. If she steps out of the house without his permission, the earth and the heavens and the angels of chastisement continue to curse her till she does not return.” (Makarimul Akhlaq )