Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Daughters Of Another Path (Experience of American Women Choosing Islam)

Author: Carol L.Anway

www.alhassanain.org/english

Notice:

This work is published on behalf of www.alhassanain.org/english

The typing errors aren’t corrected.

Table of Contents

Meet the Author 5

ACKNOWLEDGMENT 6

DEDICATION 7

Introduction 8

1. Daughters of Another Path Women Becoming Muslim in America 10

Overview of Survey Results 11

2. The Beginnig Path Growing up Christian in an American family 14

Families Who Were Strict in Religious Expectations 15

Women Who Felt a Pull Toward the Religious Experience 16

Women who Came from a Mode of Commitment 18

3. Changing Path American Women Choosing to Become Muslim 19

Daughters Learning of a New Path 20

The Witness of the Significant Other 21

Learning About Islam in an Islamic Country 21

The Witness of Muslim Neighbors and Acquaintances 23

Searching to Fill the Spiritual Void 25

Sensing the Authority of the Qur'an 27

Finding Answers in Islam 28

Finding Something Familiar in Islam 30

4. FORSAKING THE PEVIOUS PATH Reactions of Relatives 32

Accepting the Choice 35

Acceptance with Reservations 36

Working Toward Acceptance 37

Turning Their Backs on Acceptance 40

Acceptance Not a Family Issue 43

5. Journeying the Muslims Path Living and Practicing Islamic Principles 44

Articles of Faith 45

The Five Pillars of Islam 46

The Muslim Lifestyle in American Society 50

Rights of Muslim Women 56

What They Left Behind 59

Notes 60

And Jodi Mohammadzadeh Responds 61

Story 1: Acceptance in the Face of Concern 62

Story 2: Openness to Diversity and Change 64

Story 3: From Devastation to Acceptance 66

Steps Toward Reconciliation 67

7. Following the Path into marriage When Two Become One in Islam 70

Finding a Muslim Husband 73

Entering Into a Muslim Marriage 75

Relating to the Husband's Family 77

Blending Cultures 80

8. Raisins Children in Another Path Muslim Children in American Society 82

THE INSPIRATION 82

Islamic Training Emphasized 85

Parents Mutually Involved 89

9. Respecting Divergent Path Working Together to Build And Maintain Relationships 91

Food and Drink Considerations 92

Modesty in Dress and Social Relationships 92

Celebrating the Holidays and Gift Giving 93

Leaving the Children in the Care of Others 95

Religious and Political Discussions 97

10 The Daughters Speak Out What the Muslim Converts Would Like Us to Know 99

What Islam Is About 103

How We, As Muslims, Experience America 106

Epilogue 106

Appendix A: 109

AMERICAN-BORN WOMEN CONVERTED TO ISLAM QUESTIONNAIRE 111

I. STATISTICAL DATA 111

II. YOUR CONVERSION TO ISLAM 111

III. LEARNING TO LIVE AND PRACTICE AS A MUSLIM 111

IV. YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN 111

V. YOUR HUSBAND 112

VI. THE HOMELAND OF ORIGIN OF YOUR HUSBAND 112

VIII. YOUR POSITION AS A WOMAN 112

IX. CHILD REARING 112

X. YOUR CHANCE TO EXPRESS OTHER VIEWS AND THOUGHTS 112

Appendix B: Questionnaire: Parents of American-Born Women Converted to Islam 113

PARENT QUESTIONNAIRE 113

I. STATISTICAL DATA 113

Appendix C: One Women's Story In Response to the Questionnaire 114

Tell of Your Conversion to Islam 114

My Family of Origin 116

My Husband 117

The Homeland of My Husband 118

My Husband's Family 118

My Position as a Woman 118

Child Rearing 119

Meet the Author

Carol L.Anway , M.S. Ed. In Guidance and Counseling, has spent many years as school counselor. For eleven years she edited and wrote Christian education resources focusing on children, families, and women. She has traveled in the United States and Canada presenting workshops on intergenerational ministries, Christian education, and teacher training as well as giving ministerial leadership at camps and retreats. Her education, writing, and commitment to the spiritual life helped her in the struggle to reconcile with her daughter's choice to convert to Islam. In Daughters of Another Path, Mrs.Anway shares her experience plus the stories of her daughter and other American women who have chosen to become Muslim.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

My deep appreciation is extended first of all to my daughter, JodiAnway Mobammadzadeh , who has caused me to stretch and view the world through another window. Our whole family has been enriched and enlarged by our venture with her to see life with new perspective and insights. Her contribution throughout the project and writing of the book has been so helpful-the editorial reviews, the rewriting, the title, the feedback. My initial encouragement and zeal for the project was sparked by Dr.Jamilah Kolocotronis Jitmoud and SusanElsayyad , both American-born women who became Muslims and are currently teachers at the Kansas City Islamic School. They met with Jodi and me and helped us define the project, expressing a need in their lives for such a reconciling resource.

would love to personally meet each of the 53 women who shared their conversion stories by responding to the questionnaires. Each one was an inspiration and testimony to what she has chosen-to be a Muslim woman, submissive to the will of God. Working with my editor and long-time friend,Talitha PemUngton , has been a joy. She required so much of me as she helped me present this book to you in a concise, well-organized form. I needed her! And thanks to Joe, my husband and the love of my life, for support and encouragement through this and all our years together.

DEDICATION

The world is constantly growing and changing. All persons have a road to travel and a path to find to bring meaning to their lives. Even though in the United States and Canada we may be bombarded with information on how others in the world live their lives, we somehow don't catch on. We are prone to segregate ourselves in our own economic, religious, or ethnic groups and resist bumping into other cultures and ideas. We tend to be shaped by the headlines and daily news reporting, which can feed our fears and reinforce stereotypes that are often misleading. This book is written in dedication to you, the reader, because you have taken the time to look beyond what you know. You have sought to find out about American-born women who have chosen the path of Islam. One of these Muslim women may be your classmate, your co-worker, your grocer, your neighbor, your cousin, your niece, your grandchild, and yes, maybe even your daughter.

Introduction

The first time I saw Fiddler on the Roof I became upset withTevye , the father who was so tied to his traditions that he broke the ties with one daughter and almost with the other two because they chose different "traditions." Those girls are good persons who will live good lives even if it isn't in the tradition of their parents. Why not leave them alone? I thought. Then I learned firsthand about the struggle that goes with having one's child break with traditional expectations. LikeTevye , I experienced rejection and anger and grief. Our daughter, Jodi, seemed to learn well one of the concepts I wanted to teach her: "Missouri is not the only place in the world; there is a whole world out there to explore. God loves all people, so we need to be open to them and have a global concept of life." I was happy that some of her friends were from other countries.

Then I began to see that she was getting serious about Reza, a young man from Iran. Soon she announced her intention to marry him and eventually live in Iran. He was a person that we really enjoyed knowing. But to have our daughter marry him and go off to a foreign country. . I replayed in my mind the scene ofTevye watching his second daughter board the train, knowing he would probably never see her again. In time, however, my husband, Joe, and I came to accept the idea and knew that we had grown as a result. Although Muslim, Reza seemed open and accepting, and we felt that Jodi was secure in her beliefs in Christ and our church. Her marriage in the church at Warrensburg was a tremendously happy occasion. Since Reza and Jodi were completing their degrees, I told myself it would be years before they would go: to Iran. Perhapsbithen they would change their minds.

Within two years my fears about her move to Iran were superseded by a greater one--jodi's decision to convert to Islam. It had never occurred to me that she might voluntarily choose a different religious tradition than that of our family. But she did. This book presents my story, and Jodi' a, and the changes that occurred in our relationship with her commitment to become Muslim. Also presented are the stories of several other American-born women who have converted to Islam---their backgrounds, their reasons for converting, their acceptance of the principles of Islam which they find so appealing, and what it has meant for their lives and their families. Leaving behind the Western modernistic society that shaped them, they have committed themselves to a way of life dictated by Islamic principles as interpreted in the community of Muslims with whom they worship and with whom they associate.

My hope is that the reader of this book will gain a clearer understanding of the young, American-born women who have chosen Islam, how and why they converted, and the strength that choosing this path has given to them. As these women describe living out Islamic principles in their daily lives, non-Muslims can not only learn about the Islamic way but also discover how best to relate to these Muslim women in the workplace, as relatives and as friends or acquaintances. For many of us, these are our daughters, sisters, granddaughters, cousins, friends, or co-workers who have chosen another path of faith to God. May this book be an opportunity to cross over for a .brief time to understand their approach and commitment to another path.

1. Daughters of Another Path Women Becoming Muslim in America

She may be shopping at the mall, driving or riding in a car, studying in university classes, or sharing an office in the workplace. Her dress is modest, a scarf covering her hair with only her face and hands uncovered (although even her face may be veiled). She wears outfits that are usually neat but not showy, sometimes reflecting foreign fashion. She is very conspicuous in our society, often triggering thoughts like "strange religion," "terrorist," "fundamentalist," "mystery," "foreign," or "oil," and she makes us feel uncomfortable and alienated. Expecting to hear a heavy accent when speaking to her, one may be shocked if she sounds just like any American-hummmm ! "Where are you from?" the curious observer might ask. 'Toledo, Ohio," she may reply. But it could have been any other city or town. "Oh, really?" the observer responds, somewhat taken back realizing that she is one of us.

A growing number of American-born women in the United ' States and Canada have converted to Islam and call themselves Muslim like any other follower of Islam. Many hold to the tradition of wearinghijab * (covering) in public. Others don't feel it necessary to cover and are, therefore, less noticeable but are also among the slowing number of converts in the United States and Canada. No one knows for sure how many of the world's one billion Muslims live in the United States and Canada, but the American Muslim Council of Washington, D,C., estimates the Muslim population to be between 6 and 8 million including American-born converts, those who have immigrated, and a growing number of children born Muslim in America. Thus Islam may already have more followers in the United States than Judaism which has 5.5 million adherents. This would make Islam the second-leading religion after Christianity. The growing number of mosques and student centers also reflects the emerging presence of Islam. Around 1985 there were approximately six hundred mosques, student centers, and other Islamic centers with the numbers growing. Muslim history in the United States is fairly short. The booklet, A Centuryqf Islam in America,(1) indicates three waves of Muslim immigration. The first occurred in 1875 with migrant laborers, uneducated and unskilled workers willing to work hard. Many stayed, but those who returned home encouraged others to come to America. The second wave in the 1930s was stopped by World War II. The third wave of immigrants in the '50s and '6es tended to be welt educated and from influential families, often trying to escape political oppression or to obtain higher education.

________________________

*A Glossary of Islamic Terms, following Appendix C, gives o definitions for all Islamic terms referred to in the text or quotes.

1. Yvonne Y. Haddad, A Century of Islam (Washington, D.C.: The Middle East Institute, 1986).

Muslims tend to group in the larger cities where they have support from each other. Many of the larger universities have active Muslim groups, It is here they learn from and help each other live the Muslim lifestyle that is at times difficult to blend with the schedule and activities of the American society. Muslims are obligated tofisllow the practices of Islam in every detail in daily life. These practices are dictated by the Qur'an and theHadith (the reported sayings, deeds, and practices ofMuharnmad ), and by the other examples attributed to Prophet Muhammad. Unique in many Western settings is the right to practice religion as one desires, which extends to Muslims the opportunity to live their livesIslamically as interpreted in their community. Western countries once identified as Judeo-Christian countries may need to recognize they are becomingjudeo -Christian-Muslim societies. The growth of Islam in the Western Hemisphere is fast becoming a major topic for media coverage. The expansion of Islam is a major contemporary issue for all North Americans &though most Americans know little about either the principles of Islam or its history. Islam had its beginning in the Arabian Peninsula during the seventh century when Muhammad received divine revelations from God (Allah) through the angel. Gabriel. These were received by Muhammad who spoke them orally, and the recitations were eventually written down to form the Qur'an (or Koran), the Muslim's sacred book, which is considered to be the literal and final word of God to the world. Islam Enters My World Fourteen years ago our daughter Jodi married a young man from Iran and soon converted to Islam. She began wearing the cover and learning to live and practice as a Muslim. The next few years were a time of grief and adjustment for our family. In the intervening years we have grown to appreciate the strength and commitment of our daughter and her American -Muslim fiends.

From this personal experience I decided to collect the stories of American-born women who converted to Islam. I developed and distributed a questionnaire and soon began receiving many personal expressions of strength. and faith, Many North Americans (including United States and Canada) are familiar with the book and movie, No Without my Daughter; the movie, True Lies, or other articles and media comments filled with negative portrayals of Muslims. We rarely have the opportunity on a personal level to observe the quality of life that American-born women who have become, Muslim have in their Islamic commitment. I felt that a more positive image was needed, and by gathering and sharing some of the stories of these Americana born women who have converted to Islam, that desire within me has been accomplished. The intent is not to use each story in total but to use portions to unfold the stories and faith journeys of some who chose to convert to Islam. Woven in with these stories is my own story as a mother of one who became Muslim. Here is an opportunity to also find out about the beliefs of Islam and how it is lived out on a daily basis by its disciples.

Overview of Survey Results

The questionnaire (Appendix A) was distributed at several Muslim conferences and also mailed to those who heard about the survey and called in, or were referred by others. Of the 350 questionnaires distributed, fifty-three women responded representing diverse regions across North America: Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Virginia, New Jersey, Indiana, Oregon, Alabama, Texas, California, Louisiana, Washington, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Arkansas, Vermont, and Ontario. These fifty-three respondents thoughtfully spent many hours answering the in-depth questions presented to them. The educational level of the women responding ranges from high school graduate to doctorate. Fifty-three percent hold a bachelor's degree or above. Thirty-five percent of the women have B.A. or B.S. degrees, 12 percent have M.A. or M.S. degrees and 6 percent have MD. or Ph.D. degrees. At the time they responded, seven of the women were college students working toward a higher degree.

The age range was from twenty-one to forty-seven years of age with 40 percent of the respondents in their twenties, 48 percent in their thirties, and 12 percent in their forties. The number of years the women have been Muslim ranged from six months to twenty-two years. Those who have been Muslim six months to three years constitute 32 percent; four to six years, 24 percent; and seven to ten years, 20 percent. Twenty-four percent of the respondents have been Muslim eleven years or longer with the two longest at nineteen years and twenty-two years. Approximately 40 percent of the women work outside the home either part-time or full-time, two women have their own in- home businesses, and 12 percent are working toward college degrees. One-half are full-time homemakers with 25 percent of those choosing to home school their children of school age. Although 75 percent of the women have children, not all of the children are of school age. Forty-seven percent send their children to public schools, 11 percent have children enrolled in non- Muslim private schools, 26 percent have children in Islamic schools, and 26 percent home school. This adds up to more than 100 percent because some families have children in two or three of the different school settings.

In observing the common practices of Islam, only two of the women in this survey are not currently wearinghijab full-time. For the most part, all are involved in daily prayers, fasting at Ramadan, and participating in ongoing study regarding Islam. Eighteen percent indicated they eat meats other thanhalal (approved)meats with the exception of pork which is strictly forbidden. Ninety percent of the women in the study are married and reflect successful and happy marriages at the time of the survey. They indicate much satisfaction at the position they feel is theirs in the Islamic setting. Some of those who are single as a result of divorce, widowhood, or never marrying indicate that they are uncomfortable at times in Muslim gatherings. They expressed the belief that marriage would give them a better position in the Muslim community. Since, being married is considered "the natural state" in the Islamic community, they feel a loss of power, for it is through a husband that they would have connection and input into decisions made at the mosque.

Their responses represent extremely positive reactions to their chosen Muslim lifestyle, by contrast to the more negative stories often heard in the media.. M in the American society at large, one can assume the stories of most American-born Muslim women range from happy and well-adjusted, through the in-between "life-is-okay-but" stories, to those stories which contain much grief and unhappiness. In this study, most of the women have found fulfillment and happiness in their decision to live a specific lifestyle-Islam.

2. TheBeginnig Path Growing up Christian in an American family

Jodi dropped out of college during the fall semester of her sophomore year. She was in a state of emotional and spiritual turmoil and moved in with her grandmother because she wasn't sure she could handle living with us. Later that fall Jodi went with a small group of young adults on a church tour to bring ministry to several congregations and to explore some church historical sites. When she came back from the trip, she told of her experience of emotional healing. "Mom and Dad, I now know what you mean about there being a God-I had an experience with God. As I sat with the group praying, it was like a warm flooding of my soul. It was an assurance that there actually is a God. It was a healing time for me, and now I am ready to start getting on with my life." But Jodi still was not ready to move back home, so we provided a small apartment in one of our rental houses while she attended the community college where her dad taught.

In that semester, Jodi and Reza became acquainted. An engineering student at the same community college, Reza was a serious young man who held similar moral values that Jodi wanted for her life. Here was someone who could help her be what she really wanted to be. AtEastertime we were going out of town to visit relatives. We invited Jodi and Reza to go with us. On Easter morning, as we prepared to go to church, Jodi excitedly whispered, "Mom, Reza wants me to marry him and go to Iran to live! Isn't that great?" No, it wasn't great. Iran was where the hostage crisis was happening. No, this couldn't happen. All through the Easter service, tears streamed down my face. I kept seeing in my mind the scene from Fiddler on the Roof whereTevya sends his second daughter off at the train station, knowing he would never see her again. She sings to her father the song, "Far From the Home I Love." I could not tolerate this! Reza invited us to his apartment for dinner the next Thursday. Could we come? Well, that would be very nice. Yes, we would like that. It was a pleasant time together-then Reza got to the point. "Joe and Carol, I invited you here because I want to marry Jodi and would like to have your approval." "When?"

"As soon as possible-by this summer, we hope." He explained their feelings, their friendship, their agreement on values. We just could not agree. She had college to finish. How would they pay for it? No. No. But as time went on we could see they were going through with it, approval or not. It was the first of May and I was out of town on a work assignment. As I viewed a video in preparation for the weekend workshop I was to conduct, I watched a segment about a missionary to India. The missionary told about walking miles in rough terrain and hot weather to reach a village. His feet were blistered and sore. When he reached the village, he sat on a tree stump. An old lady of the village came to him with a pan of water, removed his shoes and socks, and bathed his feet. As he looked into her eyes, he said he saw the light of Jesus in those eyes. As I heard the story, I fell on my knees. "God, I have not tried to see anything in Reza. I have only resisted. I will look for your light in his eyes and find acceptance."

When I saw him again after my return, I looked at Reza in a different way. His beautiful dark eyes reflected love, gentleness, and light, and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of acceptance. My husband, Joe, also had come to accept him, so the wedding was planned for the first of August. Reza was a good man. We would share the gospel with him and, perhaps before long, he would become a Christian.

How familiar the feelings and emotions are for many of us whose children are young adults. They make choices that we don't agree with. We think we are raising them to take on our values and make the decisions which would fit our lifestyle. But somehow it doesn't work. They have options, and they often choose lifestyles different from the ones we hoped they would choose. In my collection of stories of American-born women who had converted to Islam, the overwhelming majority described growing up with a religious commitment either because the family required it or because the girl herself wanted to be involved. Only two respondents said religion was not important in their formative years, and one had never been a Christian. Several had dropped out of church because they felt they couldn't get their questions answered, or when they left home, they no longer "had to go" to church because of parental demands. Some of these women were daughters or granddaughters of ministers.

They came from fundamental as well as more liberal denominations. Although 28 percent did not give specific denominations, those mentioned were Catholic, Southern Baptist, Methodist, Christian-Disciples of Christ, Episcopalian, Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (RLDS), Nazarene Church, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Jehovah's Witness, Quaker, Greek Orthodox, Seventh-Day Adventist, World Wide Church of God, as well as charismatic and born-again Christians. One was a Christian who had become Hindu and another was looking into Judaism. Most came from a religious background and were searching for meaning in their lives during the young adult questioning stage. In the following, some of these women describe their perceptions of the religious environment in their early lives.

Families Who Were Strict in Religious Expectations

Some of the women came from families who were determined that their daughters would be diligent in their church attendance, not only on Sundays but also during the week. The word "strict" was often used to describe the expectations of some families in regard to religion. +I was raised as a Catholic. I was taken to church and Sunday school every Sunday because my father insisted and physically forced me and my brothers and sisters to go and told us if we did not go to church we would go to hell. I believed in God and feared him to some extent and asked him for help. When I was seventeen I stopped going to church and had horrible nightmares about the devil coming to get me for about six months or more. +My father is a United Methodist minister. My grandfather was a Baptist minister. I was raised in a very religious environment. I went to church almost every day of the week.

I grew up a Christian (Seventh-Day Adventist), going to church and to private schools run by the church. I grew up in a strict environment: no non-religious activities from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, many church activities, restricted diet (not only no pork, but also other things specified in the Bible in the Old Testament), no drinking or smoking, no jewelry, etc. In high school I got disillusioned with the church because I saw so much hypocrisy in it. I stopped going to church and dropped out of high school at seventeen.

These families required what they thought best for their daughters growing up. The women often developed a deep belief in God but going to church became something they had to do, and they were relieved when they were old enough to make their own decisions about church attendance. Parents Whose Denominational Convictions Were Changing or Weak Although many parents had deep religious convictions, they had either dropped out of church or were only attending on a part-time basis. Some families were split in regard to denominational allegiance; others changed denominations during the daughter's growing up period. Some of the women expressed dissatisfaction with their religion of origin. +When I was a child my family belonged to the World Wide Church of God, but they broke away while I was still young. My father felt that most organized churches were corrupt, but he was (in my opinion) extremely religious. Being raised in this way, I was always seeking some religious fulfillment.

I was a born-again Christian-but was not practicing. I didn't go to church because I wasn't interested in the whole overly religious, pressured atmosphere. My mom became a born-again Christian when I was in third grade. We were Catholic before that. I remember Mom having us kneel in front of the TV while she was watching Jim Bakker on TV. +My religious commitment was deeply imbedded. My parents did not attend church but sent me with family and friends from the time I was two years old. My parents had and, to some extent, still have moral standards that were taught to me in my youth regardless of their church attendance record. My mother's father is a Pentecostal preacher and my mother had always expressed her ill feelings toward her father for making her go to church three times a week.

When I was a child, I went to the Church of God, my father's denomination. Then, when I was a teenager, I went to the Episcopal church with my mom. The reason for the change was because my mom decided to go back to her Episcopal roots. I was not really satisfied with either one. As reflected by some of the survey respondents, a degree of turmoil or unrest was present in their families in regard to religion. Consequently, the prevailing attitude was one of confusion and doubt.

Women Who Felt a Pull Toward the Religious Experience

Disillusionment, confusion, unanswered questions-these describe the early religious experience of many of the women. However, in spite of frustration, their stories show their devotion, of being in the "search mode" and looking for stability in their religious life. +My father is Presbyterian and my mother is Catholic. My father was never active in any church, but Mother tried to raise us Catholic. I was baptized in the Catholic church and received my First Communion at about the age of eight. After that, we only went about once a year. When I was about ten, I became a very active member of a small Presbyterian church nearby. By ninth grade, I was helping the minister's wife teach Sunday school. In high school I started a church youth group by recruiting four of my friends to join me. It was a small group, but we were content to get together to study the Bible, talk about God, and raise money for charities.

These friends and I would sit together and talk about spiritual issues. We debated about questions in our minds: What happens to the people who lived before Jesus came (go to heaven or hell)? Why do some very righteous people automatically go to hell just because they don't believe in Jesus (we thought about Gandhi)? On the other hand, why do some horrible people (like my friend's abusive father) get rewarded with heaven just because they're Christian? Why does a loving and merciful God require a blood sacrifice (Jesus) to forgive people's sins? Why are we guilty of Adam's original sin? Why does the Word of God (Bible) disagree with scientific facts? How can Jesus be God? How can One God be three different things? We debated these things, but never came up with good answers. The church couldn't give us good answers either; they only told us to "have faith." +I was raised Catholic, but stopped attending services in high school due to disenchantment on my mother's part. I enjoyed the traditions of the Catholic church and liked the conservative values. There were always many unanswered questions for me even as a child-I could not accept the vague or nonsense answers. I knew even as a small child that these vague areas of faith and philosophy of blind obedience to the clergy were not right.

I was a Christian by birth. I had always loved Sunday school and church. In a mixed-up, divorced, dysfunctional family, I was looking for stability, not just from a community but from God. After the age of eighteen I searched from church to church looking for "the answer" only to find more confusing messages from each minister and pastor. I remember always telling my best friend that I wished I could find a church. I always had an empty space inside of me. She would empathize with me and try to encourage me to go on Sundays. But by the age of twenty-two, I had given up on "man-made religion" but not on God.

I was raised as a Catholic. My mother practices her faith but my father is not attending mass regularly. Since I was in elementary school, I questioned the teachers (nuns) and parents about the Trinity (who should I pray to: Jesus, God the Father, Holy Spirit? How about the Saints?). I was told there was no explanation and I just had to accept it the way it is. It was too confusing to me. I was never satisfied with Catholicism. I stopped going to church at age seventeen, but I was still praying to God as I had from very early childhood. +I was a Baptist and I was attending Catholic school. I was very involved with the activities of the family church, but I can't say that I had any real commitment. As a teenager, I was constantly searching for what was correct.

For many years I "bounced around" from one Christian church to another. I was not happy at any of them. If something didn't work out with one church, I'd go to another. I thought that's all there was. Eventually, I became disenchanted with the whole idea. All I had seen were hypocrites, anyway, so I stopped attending church all together. I then entered the darkest phase of my life. I literally sank to the bottom of society. These women were discontent with what they found at church and were questioning and searching for something to fill their spiritual void. There was a sense of readiness on their part for that which would meet the religious and spiritual needs they felt.

Women who Came from a Mode of Commitment

For many of the women, religion was at the heart of their faith journey in their growing-up years. They were active participants in the church as teachers, pianists, soloists, and worshippers and felt deeply devoted to God and the religious aspect of their lives. +I was born and raised the daughter of a Nazarene minister and was very active in church musically. I was the church pianist for years and played and sang in many local contests.

I was raised a Baptist, but studied different religions after leaving home. I was raised in a Christian family that tried to live as Christians, not just pay lip service. +I grew up Catholic. For most of my youth I wanted to be a nun. I even spent time with the parish priest and even contacted a convent for information. I can say I was a devoted Catholic, attended daily mass-the whole works. +Prior to my conversion I was a Christian, going to Sunday school from two years of age and also attending church services with my family every Sunday from about six years of age. I was very devout and was baptized at age eight after being questioned by the minister of our church. At first he was skeptical to baptize someone so young, but after I answered all his questions, he decided that I was ready to become a formal member of the church. I was baptized and remained a faithful member until I met my husband. Then I began to study Islam.

Until eighteen years of age, I was a Methodist. At eighteen, I became a Catholic. Prior to that conversion I had read about all world "religions." I was very active in both denominations and other churches-to the point of receiving awards, medals, certificates, etc. I considered myself very active and religious. I wanted to become a nun. I knew several sisters in a local convent and inquired about nunnery life. For many of these women, religion was a natural way of life. They were often dissatisfied with the answers they received to the questions they asked of church leaders. They were at "that phase" in life when they were trying to decide for themselves who they were and what they wanted their lives to be like; they were young adults making independent choices. It was at that point of searching that they made contact in some way with Islam.