From Marriage to Parenthood: The Heavenly Path

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Publisher: www.alhassanain.org/english
Category: Family and Child

From Marriage to Parenthood: The Heavenly Path

This book is corrected and edited by Al-Hassanain (p) Institue for Islamic Heritage and Thought

Author: Abbas and Shaheen Merali
Publisher: www.alhassanain.org/english
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From Marriage to Parenthood: The Heavenly Path

From Marriage to Parenthood: The Heavenly Path

Author:
Publisher: www.alhassanain.org/english
English

This book is corrected and edited by Al-Hassanain (p) Institue for Islamic Heritage and Thought

Chapter 9: Breastfeeding

Food for the Newborn Child

Allāh (SwT) has placed food and water for the child in the body of the mother, and has created an amazing system of feeding the newborn child in a manner which is perfect and most beneficial.

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Oh Mother of Isĥāq, don’t feed the child from just one breast, but feed from both, as one is the substitute for food, and the other is a substitute for water.”1

In another tradition, it is narrated from the Prophet (S): “Allāh (SwT) has placed the sustenance (rizq) of the child in the two breasts of the mother, in one is his water, and in the other his food.”2

As we are now on the subject of directly feeding the newborn child from the mother, it is once again necessary to mention and highlight the importance of ĥalāl income, the paying of Khums and Zakāt, the use of pure and ĥalāl food by the mother and its effect on the child. Allāh (SwT) has mentioned the necessity of eating ĥalāl and good food several times in the Noble Qur`an3 and traditions have clearly highlighted that lack of adherence to this is one of the main causes of bad Akhlāq, aggression and oppression. It has even been cited as the cause of the lack of heed paid to Imām Husain (as) by the enemy and thus, the tragedy of Kerbalā.

Pertaining to the effects of eating ĥarām food, the Prophet (S) has narrated: “Every time a bite of ĥarām food enters the stomach of a person, all the angels of the heavens and the earth send curses on him, and until the time that the ĥarām bite is in his stomach, Allāh (SwT) does not look in his direction. Every person that eats a bite of ĥarām food is gathering causes of Allāh (SwT)’s wrath. Then, if he repents, Allāh (SwT) accepts his repentance and if he leaves this world without repentance, he is deserving of the fire (of hell).”4

Three Examples

In order to highlight the above, as well as some recommended methods of breastfeeding and their consequences, three examples of the lives of our scholars have been mentioned below:

1. It was said to the mother of Shaykh Anŝārī, one of the honourable Shī°a scholars: “Māshā-Allāh (SwT), what a good child have you given to society!” The mother replied: “I had higher expectations of my son because I gave him milk for two years and I was never without Wuďū. When my child cried in the middle of the night and wanted milk, I got up, did Wuďū, and then gave my child milk.”5

2. It was asked of the mother of Muqaddas Ardabīli, that what is the cause of the high status of your son? She replied: “I never ate a doubtful bit (of food), before giving milk to the child I did Wuďū, I never looked at a non-mahram (someone with whom marriage is permissible), and after his weaning, I endeavoured in his training, observed cleanliness and purity and made him sit with good children.”6

3. Haj Sheikh Faďhlullāh Nūrī, an esteemed Mujtahid who was hung in his time, had a child who was the type of person who tried to get his father executed. One of the great scholars reports: I went to meet Marhum Nūrī in jail and asked him, “This son of yours should have been the son of a gentleman, and an excellent inheritor of yours. Why is he so low that he speaks badly of you and is even happy with your execution?”

Marhum Nūrī replied: “Yes, I knew this and had this very fear.” He then continued: “This child was born in Najaf. When he came into this world, his mother became sick and could not produce breast milk. We were forced to get a wet nurse so as to give him milk. After a while of breastfeeding, we realised that this woman is corrupt (not of a good nature), and on top of that, an enemy of Imām °Alī and the Ahlul Bayt. At that time, the warning bells started ringing for me.”

At the time of the execution of his father, his son stood and applauded along with other foolish people, and he too eventually delivered a son to society who is none other than Noureddin Kianuri the leader of Hizb-e Tude (Iranian Communist Party)7 ; this is the son of the very person who clapped at the execution of his father.8

Reward of Breastfeeding

There are many traditions narrating the rewards of breastfeeding, such as those narrated in the Importance of Motherhood section in Chapter 5, where the breastfeeding mother has been likened to one who fights for Allāh (SwT), and if she dies during this time, she attains the reward of a martyr.

Importance of Breast Milk

It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “For a child, there is no milk better than the milk of the mother.”9 The Prophet (S) has also said that there is nothing that can take the place of food and water except milk.10 Likewise, it is narrated from Imām °Alī (as) that for a child, there is no milk that has more blessings than the milk of a mother.11

Breastfeeding is not only feeding your child, but is the exchange of love and strengthening of the soul. When the child is feeding, he/she can hear the sound of the mother’s heart and this leads to relaxation and calmness. Breastfed children tend to be healthier and sounder in terms of bodily and spiritual health and psychologists believe that breastfeeding keeps children happy and content and even has an effect on their Akhlāq.

Being breastfed is one of the rights of a child and is also counted as the right of a mother, and has been strongly recommended in the Noble Qur`an and traditions. Indeed, its benefits are widely accepted in the world today. Of course, it should be kept in mind that breastfeeding is only recommended if it does not pose any risk to mother or child.

Benefits of Breast Milk370

1. Breast milk contains all the necessary ingredients that the child needs in the first 4-6 months of life.

2. Breast milk contains the suitable proteins and fats to satisfy the natural needs of the child.

3. There are higher quantities of lactose in breast milk than other types of milk, as this is what is needed by the child.

4. There are enough vitamins in the breast milk, ensuring that no extra vitamins or fruit juices are needed.

5. The iron in breast milk is enough for the child. Even though the levels are not very high, the child’s ability to absorb the necessary amount is very good.

6. Breast milk contains enough water for the child, even if one lives in a dry climate.

7. Breast milk contains enough salt, calcium and phosphate for the child.

8. Breast milk contains the enzyme lipase that digests fats.

9. The breastfed child is less susceptible to infections due to increased immunity.

10. Breast milk is the most important protector against two main causes of death among children: diarrhetic illnesses and respiratory infections.

11. Being breast fed reduces illnesses resulting from allergies such as asthma, eczema, etc, and helps prevent or reduce some diseases when the child is in the teenage years and above.

12. Diabetes and some digestive problems are found less in breast fed children.

13. Breast feeding helps ill children recover faster; therefore, it is important that it is not stopped during this time.

14. Breast milk is easy and quick to digest, therefore, breastfed children tend to get hungry faster than children fed on other types of milk.

15. Breast milk is always ready and has no need for any preparation.

16. Breast milk never spoils or becomes sour, even if the child hasn’t fed for a few days.

17. Regular feeding, and feeding when the child desires it, prevents conception.

18. The regular contact between mother and child in the first days of its life increases the spiritual and physical bond between the two, leading to a deep and loving relationship and better training and fostering of the child.

19. Breast milk doesn’t require any expenses.

20. Breastfed children develop sight and talking and walking skills faster.

21. The sucking of the child soon after birth causes the stimulation of oxytocin which results in the contraction of the womb, and thus less bleeding from the mother.

22. Mothers that breastfeed are less likely to get breast or ovary cancer.

23. Breastfeeding women return to their pre-pregnancy body sooner, as their maternal fat is being used up faster.

24. Breast milk of the mother changes according to the daily needs of the child. There are also differences between mothers depending on the needs of their children, e.g. the milk of a mother of a premature child and the milk of a mother of a full term child.

25. Breastfed children are more intelligent even as new-borns (i.e. the first four weeks of their lives). Research has shown that these children move more in the first two weeks and show more reactions than other children.

26. Adults who were breastfed tend to be more stable and temperate by nature.

Recommended Time Period of Breastfeeding

Allāh (SwT) mentions in Surat al-Baqarah, Verse 233:

      وَالْوَالِدَاتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلاَدَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ لِــمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ الرَّضَاعَةَ

“Mothers shall suckle their children for two full years, - that for such as desire to complete the suckling.”

And in Surat al-Aĥqāf, Verse 15, He states:

      وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلاَثُونَ شَهْرًا

“And his gestation and weaning take thirty months”

As outlined in the above verses, the recommended time in Islam for breastfeeding is approximately two years. It is also apparent from traditions, that the period of breastfeeding of Imām Husain (as) was also 24 months.12

The Ahlul Bayt (as) have several recommendations on the period of breastfeeding. In some traditions, it has been narrated that breastfeeding for less than 21 months is counted as oppression and aggression against the child.13 In other traditions, breastfeeding for 21 months is seen as necessary and a must.14 Similarly, it is narrated in traditions that breastfeeding for more than two years is also forbidden.15

Recommended Acts375

1. The mother should have taqwa (piety), and should be careful that the milk should not be contaminated due to lack of piety and virtue. Especially during the period of breastfeeding, one should stay away from all types of sin. Mustaĥab acts and closeness to Allāh (SwT) have positive effects on the child.

2. Say “Bismillah” before starting to breastfeed. It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “Any important and valuable act that is carried out without the dhikr “Bismillahi Rahmani-Rahim,” will be imperfect and without a (good) conclusion.”

3. Breastfeed the child with the remembrance of Imām Husain (as), as it is narrated from the Imām: “Oh my Shī°a, every time you drink wholesome water, remember me.”

4. At the time of breastfeeding, look at the child and talk to him/her. In particular, talking about the martyrdom and birth of the Ma°ŝūmīn (as) is recommended; do not be worried about whether the child understands or not. A mother who wants to pass on the culture and traditions of the Ahlul Bayt (as) to her child needs to have the culture of the religion herself and implement this when training and feeding her child.

5. Patience and relaxation, anger and hot-temperedness, healthy and un-healthy thoughts, generous disposition and kindness and stubbornness and revengefulness all have an effect on the child. It is important to remember that the future of the child is in the hands of your actions.

6. Each day of the week, carry out your daily duties such as cooking, cleaning, eating and breastfeeding, with the remembrance of the Ma°ŝūmīn (as) of that day, as specified in Mafatihul Jinan:

Saturday: Prophet Muĥammad (S).

Sunday: Imām °Alī (as) and Haďrat Fāťima (sa).

Monday: Imām Hasan and Imām Husain (as).

Tuesday: Imām Zain al-°Abidīn, Imām Muĥammad al-Bāqir (as) and Imām Ja°far as-Ŝādiq (as) .

Wednesday: Imām Mūsā al-Kāďim, Imām °Alī al-Riďā, Imām Muĥammad al-Taqī and Imām °Alī al-Naqī (as).

Thursday: Imām Hasan al-°Askarī (as).

Friday: Imām Mahdī (as).

7. As recommended by the Prophet (S), begin your actions with Qur`an, and remembrance of Allāh (SwT) and the Ahlul Bayt (as) (including Du°a al-Faraj for Imām Mahdī (aj)).

8. Thank and praise Allāh (SwT) after breastfeeding

9. Ultimately, carry out all your actions, especially breastfeeding, with the intention of seeking Allāh (SwT)’s pleasure and closeness.

Weaning

It is necessary to remind16 the reader that although there are many recommended methods of weaning, this manual only mentions a few that have been have been mentioned in Islamic sources and by the Ahlul Bayt (as):

1. Do not use harshness with the child, and stay away from techniques like rubbing spices on the breast, etc.

2. When a child insists on breastfeeding, do not chase him/her away from you.

3. With attention to the fact that breastfeeding is not only a source of food but a source of closeness and comfort for the child as well, it is important that along with adequate food replacements, adequate love and quality time with the child are provided as well.

4. Choosing a good time and place for the beginning and end of all acts, especially those with importance and value, is one of the techniques of the scholars of Islam. Therefore, it is only appropriate that for the weaning of a child from such an important act as breastfeeding, a good place and time is chosen, and acted upon by taking into account the readiness of the child and presentation of a good opportunity.

5. Where possible, the best place for weaning is the ĥarām (shrine) of the Ma°ŝūmīn (as) or Imāmzade (sons or daughters of the Imāms).

6. The recommendation of a scholar is as follows:

In the last months of breastfeeding when the decision has been made to slowly wean the child, do Wuďū and enter the ĥarām in a ritually clean state. Once you have reached the ďarīh (noble grave), recite the relevant ziyārat and ask for tawassul (Divine Intercession) of the noble person. Then, take a peeled sweet pomegranate and sit facing the Qibla.

While reciting Surat Yāsīn, feed the child from both breasts until the milk is finished, and blow on the pomegranate from time to time. At the end of the recitation, send the reward of the recitation to the soul of 6-month old °Alī Asghar and his mother. Then pray to Allāh (SwT) to accept the period of breastfeeding by his generosity, and to give meaningful sustenance to your children with the end of breastfeeding. Then feed the child the whole pomegranate (or the juice of it).

NOTE: The sweetness of the pomegranate has been emphasized in particular. Also in general, eating pomegranate is very useful, especially on Fridays, and has been linked to increased relaxation, the removal of agitation and worries.

NOTE: If going to the ĥarām is not possible for geographical or other reasons, it is possible to make the intention of visiting the shrine and performing all the recommended acts at home.

Notes

1. al-Kāfī, vol. 6, pg. 40, no. 2

2. Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 21, pg. 453

3. Sūrat al-~Abasa, Verse 24; Sūrat al-Baqarah, Verse 167, 172

4. Thawab al-A~māl, pg. 566

5. Rayĥāneye Beheshtī, pg. 177

6. Mafāsid Māl wa Luqme Harām

7. Kianuri was the type of person who carried out self-confessed acts of “espionage, deceipt and treason”.

8. Tarbeat Farzand az Nazr Islam, pg. 89

9. Mustadrak al-Wasāil, vol. 15, pg. 156

10. Tibb an-Nabī, pg. 25

11. al-Kāfī, vol. 6, pg. 40

12. Mustadrak al-Wasāil, vol. 15, pg. 157, no. 17848

13. Tahdhib al-Balāgha, vol. 8, pg. 106, no. 6

14. Ibid., vol. 8, pg. 106, no. 7

15. Ibid., vol. 8, pg. 105, no. 4

16. Rayĥāneye Beheshtī, pg. 212-213

Chapter 10: Important Fiqh Rules 2 , For Mothers

Nifās

What is Nifās?

From the time when the child birth takes place, the blood seen by the mother is Nifās, provided that it stops before or on completion of the tenth day. While in the condition of Nifās, a woman is called Nafsa.

1. The blood which a mother sees before the appearance of the first limb of the child is not Nifās.1

2. It is possible that Nifās blood may be discharged for an instant only, but it never exceeds 10 days.2

3. It is not necessary that the baby is fully grown. Even if a deficient baby is born, the blood seen by the mother for ten days will be Nifās. The term ‘child birth’ must be applicable to it.3

4. If a woman doubts whether she has aborted something or not, or whether the thing aborted is a child or not, it is not necessary for her to investigate, and the blood which is discharged in this situation is not Nifās.4

Things which are obligatory and forbidden for someone in the state of Nifās

On the basis of precaution, halting or pausing in a Masjid and other acts which are forbidden for a ĥāidh (a woman in the condition of ĥaydh) are also forbidden for a Nafsa and those acts which are obligatory for a ĥāidh are also obligatory for a Nafsa.5

How long does Nifās last?

It is possible that Nifās blood may be discharged for an instant only, but it never exceeds 10 days. Depending on the normal habit of the woman’s ĥaydh, the rules of the length of Nifās differ as follows6 :

1. For a woman who has a fixed habit of ĥaydh:

a. Her Nifās will be equal to then normal duration of ĥaydh.

b. If her habit is less than ten days, after this time she has a choice to leave out her Ŝalāt until ten days, or act as a mustahadha (a woman in the condition of istihadha); however, it is better to leave out Ŝalāt for one day (in addition to the regular number of days she had a period for before pregnancy).

c. If, however, the blood continues to be seen even after ten days, then all they days after the normal duration of ĥaydh, until the 10th day, will be istihadha, and she should give Qadha of the acts of worship not performed during this time upto the 10th day (as she will have followed the rulings of istihadha after the 10th day anyway).

d. When acting as a mustahadha, she must refrain from acts forbidden to a Nafsa as well until the 18th day.

Example: If the ĥaydh duration of a woman has always been six days and her blood comes for more than six days, she should treat six days as Nifās and on the 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th day, (if the bleeding does not exceed ten days) it will be her choice either to abstain from all acts of worship or adopt the rules of istihadha. If, however, she sees blood for more than ten days, all the days in excess of her habitual duration of ĥaydh will be treated as the days of istihadha and qaďā will have to be offered for Ŝalāt missed if she chose to abstain from all acts of worship on the 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th day.

2. For a woman who does not have a fixed habit of ĥaydh

a. Her Nifās will be ten days, and the rest will be istiĥādha.

b. It is a recommended precaution that while acting as a mustahadha, to refrain from acts forbidden to a nafsa from the 10th to the 18th day.

When the period of Nifās is over7

When a woman becomes ritually clean from Nifās, she should do Ghusl and perform acts of worship. If she sees blood again, once or often, there are two possibilities:

1. The total number of days on which blood is seen immediately after childbirth and the intervening days during which she remains ritually clean is 10 days or less than 10 days, then all of it will be Nifās.

In the intervening days, as a precaution, she will perform all that is obligatory for a ritually clean woman and also refrain from all acts which are forbidden to a woman in Nifās. So, if she had kept fasts, she will give their qaďā.

2. If the blood which she saw later exceeds ten days then again, the rules differ depending on the normal habit of the woman’s ĥaydh:

a. For a woman who has a fixed habit of ĥaydh

As a precaution, she should consider the blood seen after the normal ĥaydh duration to be istiĥādha; therefore she should act as a mustahadha, and also avoid all that is forbidden to a nafsa.

b. For a woman who does not have a fixed habit of ĥaydh

She should count the first ten days as Nifās, and the rest as istiĥādha.

Determining ĥaydh

8

The rules of determining a woman’s first ĥaydh after childbirth is again depending on the normal habit of the woman’s ĥaydh:

1. For a woman who has a fixed habit of ĥaydh:

a. If blood is seen continuously for a month or more after giving birth to a child, the blood seen for the days equal to her ĥaydh habit will be Nifās, and the blood seen after that for ten days will be istiĥādha, even if it coincides with the dates of her monthly ĥaydh.

b. After the lapse of ten days of istiĥādha, if bleeding continues, then it is ĥaydh if it falls in the days of habit, irrespective of whether it has the signs of ĥaydh9 or not. If bleeding does not occur in the days of ĥaydh habit, she should wait until the days of her habit, even if it means waiting for a month or more and even if blood has the signs of ĥaydh.

Example: A woman has a fixed ĥaydh habit is from 20th to 27th of every month. She gives birth on the 10th of a given month, and she continues to see blood for a month or more; her Nifās will be seven days, equal to her ĥaydh days, and will be from 10th to 17th of that month; now, the blood which she continues to see from the 17th to the 27th, i.e. for ten days, will be istiĥādha even though it falls in her days of ĥaydh habit.

c. If she has no fixed habit of commencement time of ĥaydh, she should make an effort to recognise her ĥaydh by its signs, and if that is not possible (because the blood seen after Nifās often remains of one type for a month or more), then she should adopt the habit prevailing among her blood relatives (mother, sisters, etc.) to determine the days of ĥaydh. If that also is not possible, then she has an option of fixing her days of ĥaydh.10

2. For a woman who does not have a fixed habit of ĥaydh

a. As explained earlier, the blood seen for the first ten days will be treated as Nifās, and as for the next ten days it will be istiĥādha. The blood seen thereafter can be either ĥaydh or istiĥādha, and in order to ascertain whether it is ĥaydh, she should follow the rule as above, i.e. recognise ĥaydh by its signs, by the prevailing habit among relatives, or fixing her own days of ĥaydh.

Baby’s Urine

Making things ritually clean from the urine of a suckling child

If anything becomes najis with the urine of a suckling child, who has not yet started taking solid food, and, as a precaution, is less than two years old, the thing will be ritually clean if water is poured over it once, reaching all parts which had been najis. As a recommended precaution, water should be poured over it once again. If it is a carpet or dress, etc. it will not be necessary to squeeze it.11

Notes

1. Islamic Laws, Rule 515

2. Islamic Laws, Rule 517

3. Islamic Laws, Rule 516

4. Islamic Laws, Rule 518

5. Islamic Laws, Rule 519

6. Islamic Laws, Rule 523, 524, 525, 526

7. Islamic Laws, Rule 520

8. Islamic Laws, Rule 525

9. Signs of ĥaydh: Usually thick and warm and its colour is either black or red. It is discharged with a pressure and a little irritation.

10. Please refer to the ĥaydh section of the Risālah for more information.

11. Islamic Laws, Rule 162