Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

American MuslimTahira Conant

(Formerly Jennifer) says:

● I felt as if I found something linking me to the Muslims’ World as I had been looking for a meaning of this life, and I found it in Islam.

● I cannot overlook our situation, as Muslims, for I see distance between Islam and many of those who associate themselves with it.

We met her in a modest house in Beirut’s Suburbs. She welcomed us and received us in a room in whose corners were some books and papers that indicate to the beholder that the owner is fond of looking for the truth. We directly asked her about the beginning of her journey with Islam and her social and family situation then, besides her wandering in several countries until she chose Lebanon as another of her exploratory and ambitious stops.

I lived in Ohio in the US amidst a family that did not embrace any faith or confession, for my parents did not affiliate themselves with Christianity or other sects or faiths; they were, if you will, affiliated with a sect that believed in general human values with which my family raised me and taught me a lot of innate ethics.

They were honest and ideal in their marriage and worked with seriousness and responsibility to secure an honorable living for us. Our raising streamed from this spirit of family responsibility that meant that every family member would have a role in life and good demeanor towards others. Perhaps this method of living made us disregard the meaning of religion in our conduct. This is why I did not grow up as Christian or Jewish nor did I embrace any other faith. This phenomenon of irreligiousness is quite familiar in the US, for many Americans live in line with this conduct of general human values. I believe my grandfather was a mulatto; perhaps this is why my parents adopted these principles.

My religious questioning began when I once went with my friends, out of curiosity, to a church. Nevertheless, I then had a series of questions to which I could not find convincing answers from them, especially when I asked about the issues of Christ’s sonship, incarnation, and trinity. I could not grasp how an absolute god could incarnate in a limited creature.

Tell us about your academic life

I got my elementary classes in school then moved to high school and university. Just like any youngster, I was perseverant and keen on finishing these stages as a family and social duty to occupy a position in society. When I finished my university studies, the university obliged me to take lessons related to religions and introductions in Theology. That was the first time I came to direct contact with the history of general religions, for prior to that time, a large part of my life was distant from interest in these sciences. Nevertheless, these sciences did not push me to search for their truths, probably due to their utterly theoretical nature.

Then what were the factors and circumstances that made you embrace Islam?

In fact, since childhood, I had always tended to be alone to ponder upon universe phenomena that I could not understand. This sense woke up again in youth time in the form of mature questions; I used to look at things and conclude that they result from one another. I felt that they had a special harmony and one secret. Their source was completely different, but our ignorance made us view them as though they came from nowhere and had no meaning. Therefore, we neglected scrutinizing them while engaging aimlessly in our absurd lives. Sometimes I wondered what if we were having a big dream and would wake up to find a certain reality after which it would be too late. This is what I found out later in the holy propheticHadiths that talked about a decisive day in which the creatures stand before a One God who has the conspicuous proof against them.

These anxious questions came in the context of a special situation that I have witnessed in my city. There was a problem between a ranch owner and the Muslim community that wanted to build a mosque in 1982-1983. I knew that the owner was fabricating lies against the Muslims to accuse them of damaging his property. When I was certain of what he had done, I contacted the attorney, testified against the owner, and provided proof. The attorney, then, asked me,« Are you a Muslim? » and I said I was not.« Then what makes you shoulder this responsibility? » he asked.« I don’t intend to have a problem with him, » I replied,« I just want the truth. » Therefore, the members of the Muslim community got their rights, thanks to the united efforts by some good people.

Later, they invited me to visit them so that they could express their appreciation and gratitude. When I answered their invitation and went into one of their houses, what drew my attention was their strange outfit, which was different from what I used to see, besides their different moral behavior as they hosted me, their willingness to be hospitable, and the way their young respected the old.

I remember that one of them said to me,« You have done a lot for us, what can we do for you? » « I did nothing, » I replied,« This is what my conscience told me to do. » I felt as though words were stumbling in my mouth, but sensed that this was meant to remind me of something; perhaps that was the innate nature within me. I felt as if I have found something linking me to the Muslims’ World, as I had been looking for a meaning of this life - a meaning that I was sure was there somewhere.« I want to know you more, » I was quick to add. On the following day, they presented me with a book of interpretation of The Holy Quran and a carpet. I read the book passionately and pondered upon its meanings for ten weeks. I referred to some books for research and studies while filled with hope that Allah would guide me to the right path.

I converted to Islam in an Islamic center on a Friday, the day on which Muslims gather for prayers, and I declared the two testimonies (that there is no God but Allah and that Mohammed (p.b.u.h.) is His servant and apostle) before them. I remember that at that time tears poured out of my eyes, and I did not know why. What a gift that was!

What was the reaction of your social and family surrounding towards your choosing Islam?

Following my embrace of Islam, my behavior and morals changed completely, as I decided not to befriend anyone other than the believers and to stay away from the people of the worldly life and frivolity in line with the Prophet’s (p.b.u.h.) recommendation as for choosing one’s friends and the way he (p.b.u.h.) mixed with people:« He who mixes up with some people for forty days will become just like them. » Therefore, the gap between me and non-Muslims began to widen; the change reached the way I clothed, ate, and spent time: I no longer wore clothes for vainglory, but rather for covering; I economized on food and living costs to get rid of profligacy; as for staying up, I spent it either in worship or reading. This has been sort of purge of what may have been stuck within me of the love of the worldly life and its impermanent pleasures.

At this stage, I lived alone as my parents lived in another state 2000 km away. I would have preferred to tell them directly about my conversion to Islam when I visited them there, but a friend of mine had beaten me and told them. I noticed sullenness on their faces. I quickly said,« What is the difference between what you raised me to do and the values of this religion? I am now completing these values with piety for the sake of Allah. » I understood from their answers that they did not accept this sudden change and regarded it as an offence against them. Therefore, the relation between us worsened and was rather cut for several years during which my father died; I attended his funeral. Then my mother passed away without telling me that she had disinherited me. That was a shock to me. My distress, nevertheless, was alleviated by a Muslim friend who reminded me that that had been a trial to me from Allah Who is the real Inheritor of everything.

How do you understand calling others unto Islam, and what are the appropriate ways to convince them of its teachings?

When I worehijab 15 years ago and my connection with Islam’s principles and teachings grew stronger, I felt that I was responsible for those who live around me and do not know about the faith. I took the initiative and called many of them. However, I have concluded that the best way to call non-Muslims unto Islam is with wisdom and fair exhortation as the holy verses tell us; that is we should speak to them, have dialogue with them, and explain the religion’s rites to them in a way that removes any confusion, obscurity, or vagueness. This can be achieved only through a measured method that uses encouragement, advice, and patience with the wrong from those who do not want to obey the call of innate nature; perhaps this method is what distinguished the Prophets’ conduct.

What is your opinion in those who say that Islam spread by force not wisdom?

According to what I found in my studies of religions’ history, I believe that Islam has spread in most of the countries it entered through the demeanor of its followers and their good behavior with those countries’ peoples, because it is a religion of innate nature and a call that touches the soul. It is my belief that the sword was marginal in most of the conquests, although it was necessary sometimes for defending Muslims against those who debarred (men) from the way of Allah. Thus, force was a mere defensive method, and Islam’s war was a defensive one. It has never occurred that Islam was the party to begin war.

In our call, we never need violence; we rather have to remove the veil that does not allow the truth to get to the people’s hearts. We have to open their eyes to see the tolerance and easiness of Islam through good manners and tolerant behavior.

I would like to add something regarding the call of Muslims unto linking to Islam as a method of life and conduct individually and collectively, not as a sectarian identity with which they are born and imitate their parents in formal affiliation. As far as I am concerned, I put myself amongst all Muslims when it comes to the call to learn Islam.

I have already called my son who agreed with many of the ideas but unfortunately did not embrace Islam. However, I succeeded in convincing an American young woman, and she converted to Islam. I also convinced a man, an attorney, who was looking for a way of life that gives life an ethical meaning. I exerted efforts to explain to him the moral principles of Islam and the way it views the afterlife and that the worldly existence is a crossing stop to get there. After two months of dialogue, he embraced Islam along with his daughter, and he told me that that was what he had been looking for.

How do you evaluate the situation of Muslims today and their relationship with Islam?

As for this point specifically, I cannot be lenient and overlook our situation, as Muslims, for I see a long distance between Islam and many of those who associate themselves with it. Perhaps some holy propheticHadiths warned against this outcome which Muslims have reached. My hope is pinned on those who still adhere to the pure Prophetic path; these people who remind me about Allah every day, the people whom I would not replace with a mountain of gold. I say to my Muslim brethrens: be of those who love Allah, His Apostle and his purified Household; remember the graves, for in death there is a reminder for him who has a heart.

What is the attribute that you like most in the Apostle of Islam (p.b.u.h.)?

(Her eyes flashed with tears of longing as she talked) His nobility of character. He has always been a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the Last Day. He has left for us the greatest gift: The Holy Quran and this faith to change that which is in our hearts.

Finding My Way....

Lynette Wehner’s conversion to Islam

● How a spiritually dissatisfied American Catholic teacher found fulfillment and direction through her new job at a Muslim school.

My new position at the Islamic school was received with reserved enthusiasm from my Christian family.« Just make sure you do not convert, » my father-in-law at the time told me when he found out about it. My mother-in-law was intrigued by the idea of being around something« exotic » . I grappled with whether I wanted to work at this school. While I would have my own classroom (which I desperately wanted), I would only be part-time, and I would be required to dress Islamically (even cover my hair). This whole concept was very foreign to me. I debated with myself for a day or two until deciding to take my first teaching assignment at this school. I was open and determined that this would be a learning experience for me. Boy, was it ever....

On the first day, the new« non-Muslim » teachers were given a« scarf » lesson by a sister in the teacher’s workroom. We were laughing as we tried different styles. I still remember that morning being pretty relaxed, and it was during this event that I realized I always thought Muslims were stern and serious. It is strange how one can hold certain stereotypes of people without even knowing them. Cross off one misconception...

During my first year of teaching, I learned many things. I was extremely impressed with the way that my students knew my religion (Christianity) better than I did. How did they know the stories? My students were always asking me questions about my beliefs, and they made me think. What DID I believe?

I was brought up Catholic, and as an adult, I started to stray from it. I didn’t know what it was that I felt uncomfortable with, but I just knew something wasn’t right. I ventured a little into the new-age type of Christianity, but some of that didn’t sit right with me either. I just knew that I wanted to connect with God. I didn’t want my religion to become something that I felt I had to do in order to be considered a« good person » in the eyes of my relatives (as was the case with my husband). I wanted to feel it in my heart. Looking back now, I was lost, but didn’t know it at the time.

Kids will be kids, and my Muslim students were no different. They left their books in my classroom instead of taking them home. This was a blessing in disguise as I started to read these books after class. So much of it made sense. To help matters along, one sister and brother were more than happy to answer all of my questions, and I had many! We would discuss Islam and religion for hours. It was very intellectually stimulating, and I was excited about it. I felt that I had found what I was looking for. There was a peace slowly spreading over my heart…

Around this time, I started to read The Qu’ran at home. My husband at the time (I have since divorced him) did not like my interest in Islam. When I would read The Qu’ran, I would do so in private without his knowledge. At first, I felt that I was doing something blasphemous. I remember being very scared that God would be upset with me. How can any book other than the Bible be from God?? I tried to listen to my heart, and it was telling me to read. Some of the passages of The Qu’ran felt as if they were written just for me. I found myself sitting there and crying many times. All at once, I felt at peace, yet confused. There was something holding me back from accepting it full-heartedly.

After months of reading, talking with people, and a lot of soul searching, there was one event that I consider to be the determining factor in my becoming Muslim. I was standing in my son’s room trying to pray. I had a book on Islam opened to the« how to pray » section. I was standing there in conflict with myself. I was not used to praying directly to God. All of my life I was taught to pray to Jesus, who would then tell God my prayer (or something like that). I was so scared that I was doing something wrong. I didn’t want Jesus mad at me. At that moment, it hit me like a tidal wave. Did I really think that God would be upset at me for wanting to get closer to Him? Did I really believe that Jesus would be upset with me for trying to get closer to God? Isn’t that what he wants me to do? God knows my intent. To this day, I believe it was God talking to me - that is how powerful the feeling and voice inside my head was. What did I have to fear?? How could I NOT convert to Islam? At that moment, I started crying and crying. It was what I needed to hear. I knew at that time that I had to convert to Islam. It felt right and nothing else mattered.

After taking my shahada in front of the entire school, l was a new person. I did not have that« where-do-I-belong-and-what-do-l-believe-in » feeling anymore. It was gone. I knew that I made the right decision.

I have never been so close to God as l have been since becoming Muslim,Alhamdulillah . I am so lucky. Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with you.

Yusuf Abdullah

(JOSEPH ZAMMIT )

● Since childhood and throughout my life, Allah, be He exalted, and getting to the Right Faith have been my certain quest and persistent effort.

● My long journey of looking for the Divine Truth that led me to Islam and Ahlul-Bait’s (A.S.) School passed through in-depth intellectual diving and practical observance of most of the known religions.

This is a precious story of conversion and being guided to the Great Islam, enthusiastically and passionately told by the new Maltese educated Muslim, Yusuf Abdullah (formerly Joseph Zammit), who spent his adolescence and many of his years as an adult looking for the faith whose sound doctrine and clear principles satisfied his restless ever-searching mind and the thirst of his soul that yearned for the brilliant Divine lights.

Since childhood, I was gifted with the sincere love for God, and I was very sensitive to spiritual / religious things. I used to re-tell the stories about the saints to my mother while she was doing the housework. I spent my time reading the life stories of saints and the prophets in Old Testament; as well I was highly fascinated with Jesus (Peace be on him). In my late teens, about 17 years old, this childhood fascination took a drastic turn when a priest gave me a copy of the Plain Truth Magazine. Curiously, I immediately embarked on a correspondence course in Bible study.

Slowly but surely I was becoming aware of something beautiful in the bible which was missing.

I could not accept the teachings of the church anymore as they did not inspire me at all. I couldn’t understand how and why our society is so anti-Christian in its values. Religion was for inside the church only! On the other hand, I wanted to seek the inner, true teachings of the prophets and of Jesus (peace on them all) in particular. I started using the Psalms as my daily prayers, and for the first time I got satisfaction and power from prayers so much that tears would flow down my cheeks.

As my thirst and hunger increased, I started studying various mystical paths, as well as psychology. I started reading Tibetan Buddhism, as well as the Sufis who made a very good impression on me, but I brushed them aside as being Muslims. I studied the Hindu mystics, the Upanishads, theBhagavad Gita , then on to the Theosophists, Buddhism, Zen and Tao yoga. During these years, I used to correspond with initiates in these religions in the UK.

Simultaneously, I started studying Gnosticism, and this reverted me back to the Bible studies. I studied a lot of good books by Jewish scholars as well as international Bible scholars about many contradictions in the Bible. Next thing was that I contacted various Rosicrucian Orders and became a member in a couple of them. The Rosicrucians claim to be Gnostic and freemasons, and they promise the initiate to receive Cosmic Power etc. I was still going back, every now and then, to Sufi philosophy and mysticism and still was impressed and attracted by their simplicity and inner love for Allah. The Sufis touched my heart as nothing else did. In 1986, I decided to cut off my name and membership in the Catholic Church. I did this officially through the legal methods available. This was one of the most challenging things I did,Alhamdulillah .

In 1989, I made contact with an Indian Master of high standing and was initiated. This Path is purely mystical and within the folds of the Sikh religion. At last, I said this is it. I was initiated into it for 11 whole years when I started to see similarities in the teachings to Sufi teachings, which I kept interested in. This was very interesting, and I started to investigate the issue further. I found out, to my amazement and satisfaction, that the Path was influenced, way back in the 16th century, by Sufi teachings and mysticism. Interest again flared up within me regarding the Sufis, and so I decided to go back to the roots of it, therefore studying more deeply the Sufi Way, which more and more was influencing me. The great obstacle was that real Sufis were Muslims and worked within the Islamic religion. I found many so called international Sufi orders which were neutral to religion but these I wasn’t attracted to. I kept on asking: Why do I have to be Muslim in order to be a Sufi? To become a Muslim is considered as a big ‘treason’ in Catholic country like Malta. At this period in my life, I increased my prayers fervently and the yearning within me exploded. To my amazement and bewilderment, I found myself reading The Quran, the Holy scripture that is obviously so close to what Jesus taught, as well as the Old Testament Prophets, that I laughed at myself for having missed it (or bypassed it) in my studies.

Reading The Holy Quran was the new pivot in my life. I started exploring the Pillars of Islam and by the help and mercy of Allah I gathered strength enough to embrace Islam on Laylat-ul-Qadr in year 2000. My studies of Sufis became deeper and I made contact with a couple of Tariqas, employing their daily wasifas and dhikr.

The Happy Ending

Here I must emphasize what I regard as the real goal behind my whole life. Since childhood I wanted God and God alone. Whatever Prophet, Guru, and Master I met with, it was only for the glory of God. God was and still is my aim, my life, my breath. Since childhood, I always thought about death. Being rich, having a nice family, being healthy, having a beautiful wife etc... So what? I have to die, then...? Therefore, I was sincere and took life seriously. I used to pray and pray and cry« Oh Allah! If I succeed in finding You just before I die, my whole life would have been a success! » Going through life, in all its materialistic attractions and deviations, still my heart pointed towards God.

Having arrived at the stage where I was a candidate student in one of the oldest Sufi Schools, I thought now this is really it. But Allah knows best. This year (2002), one week before embarking for the Hajj, casually I met a Muslim couple from UK at the localmasjid . I had a very good conversation with them, and in the night they gave me some books to read. I realized they were from the Shia. I was so fascinated by one of the books they gave me which had a direct impact on my being guided to the Shia Muslim faith that made it a point to contact them at the Hotel next morning, but alas! They had flown back home. I went to the Hajj fully convinced and reassured by the knowledge and commitment to the Right Sect,Ahlul-Bait ’s (A.S.) School. So, I advise anyone to keep himself/herself open to the Truth and recommend their fate to God, be He exalted, for He is the One Who guides and assists. We must have yearning and longing and be sincere in our prayers, then Allah, with His grace and offering, will never let us down or leave us in the abysses of doubt and straying.

After a long journey of searching and navigating in the world of thoughts and religions,

Indian Nirvan ’s ship lands safely at the port of Islam

Another interesting story of a newly-converted Muslim with meaningful signs and indications, rich with human experiences and the flowing faith sentiments is told briefly by the new Muslim Indian brother Nirvan, who has been covered with the lights of the Divine guidance that saved him from the abyss of uncertainty and going astray.

When and how did it all start? Did it really start or was it simply a spiritual awakening? A realization of the truth which was always innate in me? Allah knows best.

My name is Nirvan. I was born in a mixed family: My father is Hindu and my mother Muslim. As far as I can switch back to childhood, I remember clearly that I have never received any religious education of any kind. My father was not a religious Hindu, and my mother had relinquished Islam. So I was brought up in a kind of« void » , which obviated the need for spirituality. However, I am forever grateful to my parents for having inculcated to me moral values and ethics which will forever guide my life. My family though not religious always nurtured me in a disciplined environment where obedience to parents, speaking the truth, abstaining from stealing, serving mankind... were the cornerstone of our everyday lives.

With hindsight I now recall that in my adolescence, the conundrums of existence flashed upon my mind. What is the purpose of life on earth? Is death the end of everything? Does God exist? Something deep stirred in me, goading my intellect towards a relentless quest for TRUTH. I needed clear, comprehensive, and logical answers to all these questions troubling my existence and puzzling my mind. The adventure, though an intricate maze of theology, ancestral practices, philosophy...had begun.

Starting from atheism (which was quite natural as I had never been introduced to religion), I made my way through Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, but I would not find any spiritual gratification in any of them. I had the inner feeling that TRUTH was out there, maybe right in front of my eyes, but was still eluding me. At a certain point in time, I relinquished further investigation, and desperation swayed me. I drowned myself in Nietzsche, Sartre, Kant, Heidegger, Marx, Freud, Andre Gide, Krishnamurti How much more alluring did atheism look in my eyes! Quotes such as« God is dead » ,« Religion is the opium of the masses » ,« Religion stems from inner fear of the patriarch in primitive societies » . I lived and died with Nietzsche’s books and Marilyn Manson’s music. I even took to reading« The Satanic Bible » , and I took interest in Wicca or paganism. This led me to discover Norse mythology, Roman and Greek gods... but my thirst for mysticism and ultimate truth was unabated.

Then the miracle happened! One Friday I decided to accompany my Muslim friend to theJummah prayer just for fun. It was never in my intention to pray there as I was simply curious about Islam’s religious practices - the only religion I had not delved into. So we listened to theKhotba (speech of the Imam), and I did the namaz postures by imitating my friend (standing, bowing, prostrating). It was at this point in time that something heavenly, a mystical experience occurred. I did not hear any voice; I did not see any light... I simply felt a supernal emotion like I was being carried away. Every time my forehead touched the ground, it just wouldn’t want going back. Allah had sent his guidance to me. I would never be the same again.

After the prayer, my friend asked me how I felt. I said nothing for the human language is too poor to express adequately this emotion. That state of bliss would dwell in my mind for days and was pointing towards a clear cut direction - Islam. So I asked myself,« Do I engage in research once more? » Some hidden force was pushing me forward and exhorting me to do so. Soon after, I found myself engrossed in Islamic books and marveling at the 5 pillars of faith, the 6 beliefs, the Quran’s scientific miracles and mathematical perfection, the number ‘19’ miracle... With enthusiasm I engaged myself in prayers and earnest study of the Quran. But that was not the end of it.

Several times I lapsed in doubt, and Satan would not let go of me. I spent sleepless nights wondering over whether I was on the right path, whether I was acting in rashness or not? I was even on the verge of apostasy with a willingness to just give up everything. Coupled with some problems I had at home due to my family being non-Muslim, leaving Islam appealed to me. The more so when 75% of new converts leave Islam!! I missed prayers (even theJummah ), the Mehraj Shareef, criticized Islam, argued with Muslims about their stupidity, and helped anti-Islam websites. But something in my heart still would not let me let go of Allah. I knew these difficult times were a trial for me. Will I fail or pass? I prayed day and night and begged Allah for help. I felt ashamed for doubting the Word of God and letting myself be influenced by anti-Islamic propaganda. I felt disgust for myself for doubting each time and then imploring Allah for forgiveness. But in the end... light came.

Gradually, Allah strengthened my faith and made me steadfast. I faced criticism and harshness with patience and calmness. Never did I reply back or slander. Whenever I was crestfallen, I would turn to God for guidance and help. I had reverted to the natural religion of mankind - what had I to fear? I knew that the adventure had not come to an end... It has begun! An enthralling journey through the marvels and delicacies of Islam.

I’ve not reached the end of the road but I’m at peace now with myself and with God.

Finding the Straight Path

Sister Zahraa Formerly« Joyce Slaughter »

American Sister Zahraa formerly (Joyce Slaughter) has seen the Light of Islam in several phases through which she had passed in her former religious life. This light haunted her until the brilliant flash reached her, and she found the Right Path, according to her story which she has sent to the magazine. Zahraa currently works in consolidating and spreading the pillars of Islam in the area where she lives in Michigan State along with her sisters in the American Muslim Sisters Association.

I was born about 3 weeks early on Nov. 29th 1947. To my knowledge, there has never been a Muslim in my family. However, my DNA testing shows that my ancestors did pass through Islamic lands so some of my ancestors undoubtedly were believers in the primordial religion of Adam, Noah and Abraham. I was raised as a Roman Catholic by my parents. My mother had converted before marrying my father. She came from a line of very conservative Protestants many of whom were educated at Moody Bible Institute. There also were some Jewish people in her family, and my mother explained some of the Judaic laws to me.

I have always been very interested in the cultures of others. I find it especially interesting to study the religious beliefs and practices of others. The similarities of so many practices and beliefs have convinced me that there was a primordial belief which has been forgotten and changed through time.

I went to Catholic school until my 2nd year in high school. I had considered becoming religious but decided I did not want so much control in my life. I did not realize at the time how important the guidance of God was in a person’s life. I attended Mass faithfully and received the sacraments in due course.

It was at this time I first learned about Islam. I started to study Spanish in high school. As you know the Iberian Peninsula was greatly influenced by the Islamic culture.

Sadly to say, by the time I started college I quit practicing my faith. It was not that I disbelieved, I just shoved God to the furthest corner of my mind. Even through many struggles in my first marriage, I was not going to church. I said private prayers, and I read about many different faiths. I divorced and eventually remarried and went through some times of severe anxiety. Finally, I started going back to church and had a« born again » experience. This is a special closeness to God. It brought great peace to me and reduced my anxiety. From that time on I attended church regularly.

Allah, however, had plans to draw me closer to Him or so it seemed to me when I look back. My daughter became friends with an Iranian girl in her school. I met her parents and came to know some of their culture. It was then I bought my first translation of The Holy Koran. We moved away after a year or so and for four years continued to go to church. Then after another move, I met a dear friend who is married to an Iranian man. Again I learned more of the culture and how to cook some of the food. Even though she was not a Muslim, she taught me about Islam and again my interest was captured. I continued with church attendance and Bible Studies. She moved away but our friendship still endures. I moved again, this time to Minnesota. I found a church, started volunteering and was happy in my beautiful home. In 1997, I started having the feeling God had something He wanted me to do, something specific beyond just obeying the laws of the church and the laws of our country. I felt I had to start to learn to drive places on my own so I drove to Omaha NE to work for a week. I went to confession at Christmas time and told my priest about my feeling that I had a special mission. I think he thought I was« strange » . Then in January 1998, my husband died of a heart attack. He was only 46. I became very close to God then, and it gave me a great deal of comfort.

I spent a great deal of time searching out what I should do with myself at that time. I became very active in my church, helping with fundraising for a school and being elected to the parish council. Through my church, I met people from all over the world. I was able to visit India and Spain. In India, I saw people of all religions living together in harmony.

In May of 2001, I finally decided to follow a call of God and begin saying the Catholic rosary. I focused on praying for Peace in the world. For many years, I felt a strong urge to work for Peace in the world. It seemed a hopeless task.

For the next few years, I continued on with my life. I read about other religions and continued with my volunteer activities. In 2003, I started to attend a series of lectures about Islam at the mosque in Bloomington. After the series was over, I started to attend a session at one of the sister’s houses but then I moved and was traveling so I stopped. I think I knew that I would become a Muslim but I just did not want to give up and change. I did buy a copy of The Holy Koran translated by Yusuf Ali, and I read it from cover to cover. I read biographies of Mohammad and books about Islam. When my dog died, I did not get another dog but got a cat instead as I knew most Muslims thought dogs were unclean.

By now it was 2006, and I received more and more signs from Allah. One time a friend and I were talking about the troubles in the Islamic world. She said we Non-Muslims could not be the ones to bring peace to the Islamic world. We agreed it had to come about through the Muslims themselves. I knew that if I wanted to work for peace in the world I would have to become a Muslim. My carnal self did not want to change. I ignored further messages from Allah delivered by people in my Bible study group. One lady kept telling all of us to submit to God’s will. Isn’t that what Islam is all about? Another one said: Choose a path and stick to it. Is not Islam the Straight Path? I had tried for years to get something to tie me closer to the Catholic Church. I applied for quite a few jobs at my parish but was not found suitable. I know that Allah blocked my being hired so that I would be free to join Islam. Still I fought God’s will. I never thought I was stubborn but I am. I did not want to give up alcohol, pork, or practice the discipline of daily prayers. I had many scarves and long skirts but I did not want to be compelled to cover my hair.

Finally, when I was attending college classes I decided to give up alcohol. When I was able to do that I knew I could do everything else. Even so I still feared to take the step. Finally, I prayed to Allah to send me a teacher if He wanted me to become a Muslim. Since I was studying at a Catholic University I was sure no teacher would appear. However, in Sura 36:82 Allah says« Be and it is » . He sent a Muslim scholar to my class in Christian Theology. At that time, I knew there could be no more hesitation. I made myShahadeh shortly afterwards. I know I will have to continue on in my struggle to be a good Muslim but I know with the help of Allah and my brother and sister Muslims I will keep on the straight path.

The French Guided Brother (Cerel)

The French young man who has been guided to Islam; Cerel says:

●« My heart was relieved by the Word of Right that was conspicuous in Islam and embodied in the course of Ahlul-Bait (a.s.) » .

Cerel Sevrak is a young man who has had a faithful heart for Allah since childhood; therefore, Allah, be He exalted, honored him with the blessing of Islam; by His mercy, he has become a Muslim man who is proud of his new affiliation in spite of the criticism he got from many for being a Frenchman who embraced Islam.

However, Cerel’s heart is reassured with faith, enlightened by the Word of Right that was conspicuous in the Faith of Mohammed (p.b.u.h.) and embodied in the course ofAhlul-Bait (a.s.). ThroughNoor al-Islam Magazine, he tells us the story of that change within himself towards Islam which he describes as the pure love for Allah.

I was born in 1975 in a family whose members did not believe in Allah, be He exalted. When I received my first communion, which represented my entrance into Christianity, I did not get from them any opposition or encouragement. I was young when I joined the religious education classes; I was very enthusiastic and happy with the teachings I received, especially when they were relevant to Christ (a.s.); it was somewhat superficial information, but enough to nourish the dreams of a little 12-year-old priest. I started reading the Old and New Testaments with relief. As I was advancing in reading them, I noticed a huge gap between the Holy Books’ teachings and the ecclesiastic lessons. I began to ask myself a lot of questions, such as the prohibition of a priest from getting married, although marriage is a blessed step that religion encourages, and the spread of icons and statues as religious symbols even in churches, although this does not agree with what is stated in the Holy Book. The too many questions and paradoxes made me adhere to my faith while neglecting the church teachings. Thus, my relation was directly with Allah; it did not go through a church, nor was it determined by a religious authority. I have remained loyal to this line which I had drawn when I was 15 years old.

I remember that when I was introduced to friends from Jehovah Witnesses my argument with them was based on my belief in the Bible, while their questions urged me to search in order to figure out the answers. However, what I have learnt from my opponent is that reason is the way to know Allah; and this is still the method I use in my religious life. Furthermore, I greatly respected and admired the link I sensed the brothers had among each other.

During my college years (I chose to study Psychology) I met a friend who soon became like a brother to me. Besides living in the dormitory, we also used to stay together at night exchanging points of view or having philosophical chats that had no limits. My friend was a Muslim who fasted the Month ofRamadan but nothing more. His internal faith resembled the convictions I had developed about my God. As I lacked the information about his religion (Islam), he once presented me with The Quran; he also taught me how to perform wudu’u as he explained that it was necessary to have wudu’u when I wanted to read The Quran. The Book remained on my desk for months, and I did not open it. I felt that I was not fit for opening it. Then my friend suddenly disappeared. Another coincidence had me meet a Moroccan woman who invited me to attend religious sessions in the Month ofRamadan . As the discussion was clearly about Islam, I began to ask my questions and know more and more about the Islamic faith. I still remember that the first time I heard about International Zionism I was more than 27 years old.

The journey for truth has begun. I dived into this vast knowledge to find the answers that would heal my questions. I would just drown myself in research and thinking one night after the other. As questions grew more and more within me, I would extinguish them with knowledge and research. My certainty that there is a religion that can answer all my questions, aspirations, and thoughts was being affirmed day after day.

I knew that Islam was the last of the Divine Religions, and that Allah was the Only Lord of all these religions. I believed in this and started to see Islam as the concluding faith to those faiths. I had the courage to open The Quran. The minute I started reading the verses, I was deeply attracted to it; the more I read, the more attracted I became and wished to get to the last pages. I understood that a Muslim believes in the existence of the Christ (a.s.) as an honorable messenger. This fact about Jesus (a.s.) was identical to the image I had drawn within me about him, the way I believed in him innately. It just became clearer. I believed that Mohammed (p.b.u.h.) was the final messenger. I saw myself as a spontaneous natural Muslim, so how do I worship? I started to be friendly to one of my neighbors who was an Alawite Syrian. We had a lot of discussions, and when things were too difficult for him to answer, he would call his teacher in Syria. He talked to me a lot about Imam Ali (a.s.), a personality that naturally attracted me; nevertheless, my neighbor’s exaggerations were too obvious to me.

The Method of Ahlul-Bait

I continued my search and went deeper. To me, the method ofAhlul-Bait (a.s.) was the natural luminous one; for the treason of Judas in Christianity was an event that repeated itself after the death of the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) and the turn made by some of the companions. The Holy Quran warns us in several verses against such treasons. Some of the followers of Prophet Mohammed (p.b.u.h.), who was hurt in his lifetime more than any other prophet, were not merciful toward him after his death, for the current swept away many Muslims, and only a few adhered to his commandments. Here, for instance, reason guides us to the straight path, that of Mohammed’s Household; although those who faithfully followed that path and sacrificed for it were and still are quite a few.

Conclusion

My reversion to Islam has had a great impact on those around me: my friends and especially my university colleagues. One of them (who later became my brother-in-law) used to come and talk to me about Islam. We prayed together, and he would correct me if I had learned something wrong besides explaining rulings to me. I followed the Jaafari School. We held in my room sessions of dialogue and philosophical discussions that were attended by many young men and women. There was my chance to meet my wife who has been to me a Divine blessing that illuminates my path, for, thanks to her, I have learned to memorize some Quran Surahs and to perform prayers in Arabic.

Suddenly, my friend and brother who had disappeared and I missed for a long time showed up again, but this time he has changed: he has become religiously committed. He took me to the mosque for the first time and explained to me the Jamaa Prayer rulings. He got married as well, and each of us has had a daughter, and our families grow up in the light of Islam.

My God and Lord, to You I pray whenever I need anything and tell Him my secrets privately wherever I wish. Praised You are for creating me, raising me and giving me what I have. I praise You an endless praise. O God Fill my heart with Love for You, Fear of You, Belief in You and Faith in You.