Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Conversion to the Right Faith:

The Story of Argentinean Young Man Mohammed Essa Garcia

One of the results of the good reputation that Argentinean Muslims enjoy is the phenomenon of the conversion to Islam by many Argentinean citizens due to the noble values they have seen in the Islamic faith and the sound ethical nature of the Muslim immigrants’ behavior. Within this framework, we have received from writer brother Mujahed Shararah, who lives in Argentina, the interesting story of Mohammed Essa Garcia, an Argentinean young man who has ‘found happiness in Islam’, as he says, following a long pursuit of the truth in which he followed the lead of the Holy Prophet’s great companion Salman al-Farisi.

Mohammed Essa was born to Christian parents. He went to church when he was a child. When he became ten years old, his innocent soul initiated him in a new journey of meditation on the universe around him. In spite of his young age and his mind’s inability to reach conclusions, his innate nature would not accept the Trinity creed, for he believed, with his innocence, that Jesus the son of Mary (A.S.) was a great personality, not a god. This issue launched discussions and questions between him and his family at home and the priests of the church he went to. The innocent child Mohammed Essa Garcia could not find answers that would ease his recurring early questions and the issues raging within himself. However, he got more confused and anxious after his family and church did not mind his question due to his young age.

Years passed, and Mohammed became fifteen years old, but he still had within himself the same questions. He went to high school where he got superficial and, most of the time, untrue statements about Islam; for his textbook said Muslims worshipped the Black Stone and prostrated for theKaaba . These statements were accompanied with photos of Muslims praying, prostrating, and circumambulating theKaaba .

Mohammed Essa grew up, and so did his perplexity; he was now a young man who could analyze and conclude as his adherence and passion to look for the truth grew stronger. One night in October 1989, he was upset because the question went on resounding within him: Who created the Universe? He stood in the night darkness, looked at the sky and called,« You, who have created me, show me the Right Path, or I will end my life for I’m leading a stray life. » His eyes wept tears of perplexity before he went to sleep. In the morning, he woke up to a knock on the door. When he opened the door, he found a man with a bright face requesting his permission to talk to him. He said,« I am Mashurka, a Muslim man who came to talk to you about Islam. » He started telling him about Allah, His Oneness and Greatness, how He deserved to be worshipped, and how He is far from any flaw.

Mohammed Essa’s heart was relieved upon hearing these words. He looked at the sky recalling the prayer he had made the night before, and felt Allah’s mercy engulfing him and waves of faith push one another in his heart. Mashurka’s conversation with him went on for three hours, after which he took leave to go to the Friday prayer. Before he left, Mohammed requested that he accompanies him to the mosque: he has found his long-sought goal and would not let it slip through his fingers. He listened to theKhotba (sermon) that was about Islam. When the prayer was over, he said to Mashurka,« I want to become a Muslim. What do I have to do? » « You have to utter the two testimonies, » Mashurka told him,« and then perform the major ritual ablution. » He did what he was told to do, and the worshippers cried« Allahu Akbar » in joy over his conversion to Islam.

The family’s thorny road and the immigration for the truth

Mohammed Essa Garcia had learned at school and at home to be free to believe whatever he wanted; this has never had any impact on the family life. However, after his conversion, things were not the same, for he encountered difficulties from all sides, as his mother got very angry with him. She threatened him, in spite of her great love for him. His father expelled him from the house while he was an 18-year-old student. He left the house sadly but also shocked by his parents who had always bragged about freedom of belief and conduct.

Mohammed Essa Garcia had no one to resort to other than Mashurka who was there for him and provided him with a simple job in a plastic manufacturing company and a shelter in his house where he could stay. Mohammed Essa worked and went to the mosque to learn Arabic and the teachings of Islam. All he cared about was to get more knowledgeable and familiar with the Islam Prophet’s (p.b.u.h.) method.

He wanted to learn about the Prophet’s (p.b.u.h.) sira (biography); therefore, he read the book compiled by Martin Lynx. The more he read about the persecution the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) was subjected to and the patience he showed while encountering this, the more determined he became to confront the tough conditions he faced. Mohammed then exerted efforts to memorize The Holy Quran and the Prophet’s (p.b.u.h.)Hadith . He memorized the Amma Part and the Arbaoun A-Nawawiah.

Mohammed yearned to visit the Al-Bait Al-Haram (The Holy House) and stand before the Apostle’s Shrine until the Hajj time in 1993 when he went there and prayed in front ofal-Kaaba declaring that he does not prostrate for it, nor does he worship the Black Stone, for he worshipped and prostrated for Allah alone.

After Hajj, Mohammed Essa was determined to major inHadith science after he had learned Arabic. He always had that wish that Allah, be He exalted, guided his mother to Islam. Thus, he wrote her letters and called her from time to time. One time she surprised him by saying,« I have become a Muslim, Mohammed. » He rejoiced at the news of her conversion. Mohammed Essa returned to Argentina in 2004 after an eleven-year - journey in which he memorized ten parts of The Holy Quran and mastered the Arabic language. Then, Mohammed Essa carried the flag of call unto Allah and telling people about Him and about Islam. He encountered tough conditions; however, from the claws of darkness light is born: many Argentineans started to ask him about Islam, and he explained to them the truth about the false accusations that were fastened on this Right Religion. Seventy men and women embraced Islam, thanks to him, and dedicated a site for prayer in their neighborhood. Mohammed Essa currently teaches the new Muslims Arabic, Quran reading and Islam teachings.

The call unto Islam became Mohammed Essa’s foremost activity; his Tableegh (call) methods developed, for as he mastered Arabic and Spanish, he embarked on translation since he had noticed the scarcity of Islamic books in Spanish; thus, he worked as manager of the Spanish language department in the International Islamic Book Publishing House. Up to now, he has translated over seventy Islamic books from Arabic to Spanish.

Mohammed Essa pleads with everyone, governments and institutions, to support Dawa and Tableegh in Argentina and Latin America. He hopes the translation activity will increase to include all Islamic religious books. It is not strange to hear the Argentinean Muslim Mohammed Essa blaming Muslims for failure to introduce Islam as it ought to be introduced in Latin America, for he has already seen the greatness of Islam and its usefulness in achieving happiness for man nowadays. He believes Muslims underestimate Islam.« There are many Du’at who travel to other places in the world, whereas quite a few come to us to call unto Allah, » he said,« and this saddens me a great deal, for people in Argentina accept Islam, but they need those who can guide them to it. »

A call to Muslims

In the end of our interview with him, he said,« Sixty percent of the Argentineans who have embraced Islam learned about Islam from the internet. There are, furthermore, Spanish sites about Islam and Spanish-language chat forums. Therefore, I plead with the Arab Muslim youth to learn Spanish and surf these sites in order to call unto Allah. »

« Please, take interest in the affairs of the new Muslims in Latin America, and we welcome you all and would like to receive you in our homes, » he concluded.

Russian Former PriestAli Viacheslav Polosin

Talks about his Conversion to Islam

Who is the Russian priest who converted to Islam? What is the story of the man who came to see him in the church and whose words were an invitation to guidance? And what are Polosin and his companions doing to support Islam in Russia?

« I was raised by a family of unbelievers, but I realized the existence of Allah, Whom I beseech at every bad moment, » said Ali Viacheslav Polosin, a professor in philosophy and political sciences.

Polosin, who wrote several books about life sciences, the latest of which being Myths, Religion, and the State that was published in Moscow in 1999, said he joined the Philosophy Faculty in Moscow University in a drive to know the truth about Allah Almighty. He graduated after he had thoroughly studied Orthodox Christianity in which he said he had found many contradictions.

During the Soviet Union era, where Communism was the major ideology and the Orthodox Church was the sole alternative, Polosin joined the monks’ schools and became a priest in 1983.

He admitted that his being a monk had represented a symbol of the struggle against atheism, and, at the same time, being a monk meant practicing rituals with the aim of meeting the believers’ needs. He said he did not fully believe in those religious rituals. A sense of duality between personal faith and the religious-social duty crawled into him. Polosin believes his doubts and stances, which he could not conceal, were behind his deportation to Central Asia to serve in a church in Tajikistan« where I directly met for the first time with Muslims and Islam to which I felt attracted. »

He said a Muslim sheikh came to the church one day and asked him several questions,« After that he told me, ‘You are seeing things through the eyes of a Muslim, and, Allah willing, you will be a Muslim.’

« The whole thing was bizarre; the sheikh entered the church repeatedly, careless of what might happen to him, to call the church keeper for Islam. The strange thing was that this call entered my soul with no resistance. » He said,« I did not see the sheikh after that, » and then he realized he was a caller to Islam.

Following these events, Polosin took care of a deserted church in Kaluga area. Thanks to the intimate relations between Polosin and church-goers, he was elected as a parliament member in 1990 and chaired a committee for the freedom of belief. He was fully devoted to his parliamentary work after the church liberated him from his religious duties.

His parliamentary work was crowned when the house passed a law granting Muslims many facilities in Russia. The law was effective until 1997.

Polosin acknowledges that in the early 1990s he devoted himself energetically to studying the old historic origins of Christianity in a bid to find answers to the doubts that kept haunting him; this in-depth study, nevertheless, increased and deepened his doubts.

The year 1995 was that of shift in his religious convictions as he stopped practicing his church rituals and started to study Islam.

« However, reading the Russian translation by Agnani Krachovsky of The Holy Quran tarnished its holy meanings, but after reading the modern translation of Quran and Islamic books about Christ everything was clear. I was also attending lectures about Islam and had therefore no doubts in converting to Islam, » he said.

« No one knew about my conversion to Islam but two persons. This decision threatened my life and that of my wife who converted to Islam before me She announced the shahadatain (declaring that there is only One God and Mohammed is His prophet), and I announced it for al-Muslimoon (Muslims) newspaper. I changed my name to Ali and my wife’s to Alia. »

In response to the western theories which argue that conflict among religions and civilizations is inevitable, Polosin pointed out that he believed Russia presented an exemplar of peaceful coexistence between Islam and Christianity in spite of some historic eras in which the Russian state harmed Muslims as was the case during the reign of Ivan the Terrible and others.

Polosin warned that there were foreign forces that sought to instigate religious feuds in Russia in order to undermine the country’s national unity and weaken the Russian State. He accused Zionism of aborting good relations between Muslims and Christians in Russia.

He rejected the idea of linking Islam and terrorism.

« How do they talk about Islamic fundamentalism and we all know that Jewish fundamentalism, being within the ideological framework of Zionism, created a state based on myths at the expense of another people? » inquired Polosin.

As for what he is doing to support Islam in Russia, Polosin said,« The urgent task in this regard is to present the true image of Islam to the Russian citizens at all levels, including the state’s security, social, political and economic bodies.

« We are spreading the bright image of Islam, as a faith based on love and peaceful coexistence, among Russian intellectuals. We have begun publishing « The Upright Path » which includes articles presenting a modern view of Islam in Russia besides the Muslims’ attitudes on the dilemmas and problems that the Russian society is facing.»

The former priest, a current advisor to the president of the Religious Administration for Muslims in European Russia, said he« is currently working, along with a group of Russian Muslims on a social program for Russian Muslims. »

Spanish Brother

Yusuf Fernandez says:

●I understood that Islam was what I had been waiting for a long time. Islam appeared to be in my eyes a strong and clear way of life (not only a religion) without inexplicable mysteries.

●Before Islam, I was a nervous person who did not see the sense of my existence and had a pessimistic view on life and the future. Now, I am a quiet, active, and positive person.

●In Spain, the Dawah perspectives are good although the work in this field is clearly insufficient.

Yusuf Fernandez, another western Muslim brother, narrates the interesting story of his conversion to the beautiful lights of Islam following a long journey along the doctrines and ideologies prevalent in the western world that did not convince or reassure him as for their soundness or goodness. He has been generous enough to write the story of his embracing Islam to tell the magazine readers and all those who are certain about the greatness of this Right Religion.

I was born in 1965 in Asturias, a region in northern Spain, which was claimed to be the cradle of the National-Catholicism, the political and religious doctrine which dominated Spain for five centuries. According to the myths of the old official thought, Muslims, who had come to Spain in A.D. 711 through the Gibraltar Strait and taken over most of the Iberian Peninsula in only seven years, were defeated by the King Pelayo and some few Christian followers in Covadonga, a mountainous stronghold in Asturias. This was said to be the beginning of the Reconquista (the eight-century Christian holy war to conquer the whole Peninsula and eliminate the Muslim states in it). On January 2, 1492, Granada fell, and this date meant the end of the bright Muslim period of Al Andaluos.

After that, Spain was an official Catholic state until the death of the dictator Francisco Franco in 1975. In 1978, the first democratic Constitution was passed, and the first law of religious freedom was also passed two years later.

Due to these historical facts, Asturias was supposed to be a difficult place for people to discover Islam. The Austrian and Spanish identities have been linked to the National-Catholicism for a long time. However, this fact does not mean that the Catholic religion is currently strong in Asturias. The alliance of the Catholic Church with Franco’s military rebellion against the Second Republic with his 40-year - dictatorship has seriously undermined the Church’s credibility. The spreading of Socialism and Communism in Asturias and Spain was another key factor explaining the rapid process of secularism of the Spanish society. Currently, only 20% of Spaniards are practicing Catholics, and more than one million practice other religions.

My family was a traditional Catholic one. One uncle (my father’s brother) is a priest. I was educated in this faith from the first years of my life. However, the environment in which I grew up (friends, school and so on) was highly secularized.

When I was in my early teens, I started to give up Catholic practices, which I considered an increasingly unbearable burden. I quit going to church on Sundays, and my lifestyle became more secularized. I also became member of the Communist Party and Youth.

Discovering Islam

In the Communist Party, I worked in the international relations field. I started to take part in solidarity campaigns with the Palestinian people. In 1984, I became member of the Association of Friends of the Palestinian People, which was based in Gijon. I began to read more about the history of the Palestinian resistance against the Zionist oppression and became more interested in this issue, especially because I hated to see how the international community allowed the Zionists to carry out their criminal activities without doing anything.

My first contacts with the Arab and Muslim worlds were also my first contacts with Islam. In 1979, when I was 14 years old, I watched on TV the fall of the Shah’s regime and the creation of the Islamic Republic in Iran under the slogan« No East No West » . I admired Iran as a country that did not bow to Western pressure or threats like many other nations in the world. Through the Association of Friendship with Palestine, I was able to get some books on Islamic issues, and I wrote to the embassies of Islamic countries demanding more information. The Embassy of the Islamic Republic of Iran was one of the few ones which answered me. A Spanish Muslim who worked there sent me some books and information about an Islamic association which was mainly made up by Spanish converts.

By reading those books, I understood that Islam was what I had been waiting for a long time. Islam appeared to be in my eyes a strong and clear way of life (not only a religion) without inexplicable mysteries. It was an easy way to reach God, whom I had never been able to communicate with during my period as Catholic.

I phoned my new Muslim friends, and they invited me to visit them in Madrid. I spent some days with them, and I discovered a new way of life with different - and far more attractive - values: generosity, a healthy and happy life, patience, steadfastness, and hospitality. On the second day, my decision was already made: Islam had taken over my heart. On 21 June 1989, two weeks after the death of Imam Khomeini - a figure whose example and thought had inspired me - I made the Shahada in a cafeteria with two Spanish brothers and an exiled Iraqi.

From the beginning, I knew that I would face some difficulties. For example, my links with my friends started to deteriorate because of their way of life, especially drinking alcohol as a way of socializing, was unacceptable for me. Moreover, my conversion to Islam made me a new and weirder person for them. Some of them even thought I had joined a damaging cult.

My family respected my decision especially because they saw many wonderful changes in my new life. I did not drink alcohol, and my behavior and attitude were very positive. Some of my relatives, however, did not like seeing my photo or articles in the newspapers about my life as Muslim and the Islamic associations in which I carried out my activities. Currently, I am secretary of the Muslim Federation of Spain (the second Muslim Federation in the country).

Islam has changed my life for good. Before, I was a nervous person who did not see the sense of my existence and had a pessimistic view on life and the future. Now, I am a quiet, active, and positive person who holds an optimistic view of our life, which is only a small and short piece of existence and the gate to the eternal life that God (Allah) has promised us. Islam has helped increase my happiness in good times and has protected and relieved me as an unshakeable shield in difficult times.

Islam has also taught me a sense of the value of things. Sometimes, when I see people becoming outraged by unimportant petty things, I see clearly that their life is empty and that they have not found the sense of their existence. They keep themselves apart from the true happiness.

Islamic Dawa

About Islamic Dawa, I think that Muslims must use new modern technologies, especially internet, to reach out the general population. Many young people nowadays use the internet as their main source of information. There have to be sites in different languages with attractive contents and clear explanations. Up to now, people who become Muslims in the West need to go through a long and difficult process to get accurate information on Islamic issues. Most of them only find negative and false things, which the enemies of Islam continue to spread.

In 2003, my Islamic Association held the first conference of Spanish- speaking Muslims, which many Muslims from countries such as Mexico, Chile, Brazil, Argentine, Colombia, and Panama attended.

The Dawah work in Latin America is much easier than in Europe due to the openness and character of the peoples of these countries, whose importance is always increasing. In this sense, I propose that Islamic sites in Spanish language be supported and more Dawah workers be sent to this continent.

In Spain, the Dawah perspectives are good although the work in this field is clearly insufficient. Unfortunately, some Muslims still stick to the wrong approach of« only-Mosques » and are ready to give funds to build mosques, but they do not support other tools that are even more important to reach out the non-Muslim population (media, cultural centers etc). Up to now, there is not a Muslim - written - newspaper in Spain.

Canadian Brother

Greg Sowden (Ali Mahdi)

● My journey to Islam has not always been easy.

●I am so thankful to God that I have found the true path.

My name is Greg Sowden. I converted to Islam from the Roman Catholic Church on December 15, 2001 (Ramadan 29, 1422), when I was 16 years old. I have chosen the Muslim name« Ali Mahdi. » I’m 24 years old (born in 1985). I was a history major at Wilfred Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada and I hope to study athawza h (seminary) in Iran in the near future. My home-town is Port Dover, Ontario, Canada and I grew up on a 400-acre poultry/beef-cattle farm. I was raised as a practicing Roman Catholic. Before I became Muslim, I went to church every week and never questioned my beliefs. I would consider myself a devote Catholic when I was growing up. Whenever I heard someone say something wrong about Catholicism, I would try to prove them wrong, although I now realize my knowledge was rather limited.

My mum is concerned that I am not following the« right religion » anymore. From her comments, I think she misses me going to church with the rest of our family, which I completely understand. She keeps telling me I was happy with my religion before, so, she wonders, why did I change? I wasn’t looking into converting to Islam when I began researching it; I read Islam out of pure interest. Learning about other people’s religions and cultures has interested me since I was young. My paternal grandma’s large National Geographic magazine collection contained magazines going back to the 1930s, and numerous issues dealt with Islam, which fascinated me. I also began to read atlases which got me interested in geography and current events. Living in a small town, I didn’t know anyone from a non-Christian background, which made me curious about the outside world.

In 2000, I began to look for people from different countries to talk to online because of my fascination with learning about other people. On a pen pal website, I met Yahya, a Shi’ah teenager from Kuwait. I began to ask him questions about his religion because I didn’t know a great deal about it. I never thought about converting to Islam because I thought I was happy being Catholic. When I started taking a course at high school called« World Religions, » my interest was intensified. In my textbook, it had some information about the position of Jesus in Islam as seen through The Quran. I knew Jesus was a prophet in Islam, but not how important he was. Nor did I know how his mother, Mary, was considered one of the four greatest women in Islam! After school, I went home and researched the role of Jesus in Islam on the internet. I also found a few books in my school library on Islam in general. The role of Jesus in Islam was the proof I had that the Christian view of Jesus’ divinity could not be correct. The Islamic belief opened my mind to things that I had never thought about regarding Christianity and Jesus in general. The more I learnt about Jesus and Islamic beliefs the more I wanted to convert. The information I read convinced me that Islam was the truth. The arguments were good, and there was even proof of Muhammad and Islam in the Bible!

As I learnt more and became engrossed in studying Islam, I emailed my Kuwaiti friend and told him about my findings. I told him that« maybe I should convert after learning some more about Islam. » I didn’t plan on doing it soon because it was not easy to follow Islam without a community around me. I thought I would convert when I would go to university because I couldn’t get to a mosque. I told my Kuwaiti friend this, and he said I could say theShahadeh to him. So on December 15, 2001 (Ramadan 29, 1422) I said theshahadah (« there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah » ) to him over MSN Messenger. By saying those wonderful words I became a Muslim!Alhamdulillah ! All praise belongs to God!

Converting to Islam caused me many problems with my family, especially with my mum, who has been the most vocally against my conversion. When I told my mum that I had become a Muslim, she became very upset. Her anger lasted until about 2004, but since then she has accepted it, although she is not happy with my choice. When I received some books, including The Quran, in the mail after my conversion, I was forced to hide them from her. My mum was also very upset when she saw me prostrate (sajdah) as it was a very visible sign that I was no longer Catholic. Much of my extended family has not commented negatively on my conversion, although my late maternal grandfather, who was known for being opinionated, did not like it and he made it known. My very religious maternal grandmother, whose brother is a retired priest in England, has not been relatively accepting. I never lost friends because I’ve never had many friends in the first place. I’ve never gotten along with most people my age, and I’ve long felt that I don’t fit in. I’m also very shy. It is unfortunate that my family does not know what Islam is, and I don’t blame them with all the misinformation they hear on the news. I have tried to explain my beliefs to them but they don’t care to learn and refuse to read any books. Before I left for university, my mum made me go to church every week. I continued to go to church until October 2003, which coincided with the Holy Month ofRamadan . It was hard to avoid taking communion because of my mum’s pressure but since I was fasting I slipped the host (Eucharistic bread) in my pocket, but my mum caught me, and I never went to church again, except for my grandpa’s funeral.

I have had the pleasure of finding a wonderful Muslim community in Kitchener-Waterloo, and the community has opened their arms to me. On Wednesday, September 10, 2003, I went to the mosque for the first time, which was an eye-opening experience, as it was so different from a church service. I went with Brother Hasnein (whom I met through the Shia Chat forums). He and I attended the university in Waterloo, Ontario. He attended to University of Waterloo, and I attended to Wilfred Laurier University, which are about a 15-minute walk apart. The event we celebrated was the birthday of Imam ‘Ali Ibn Abi Taleb’, the beloved cousin and son-in-law of the Holy Prophet Muhammad. We took the bus there, and we kind of got lost walking down the street because the mosque was in the middle of a residential area. Then we saw a woman inhijab going into the mosque, and so we went in. We got there late but we caught most of the lecture by Sheikh Shafiq Huda. After that, we did Maghreb and lsha prayers. That was the first time I have prayed with other Muslims, and it was a wonderful experience. After that Hasnein introduced me to a few brothers, and we talked for a few minutes, and we had a nice treat of ice cream and chocolate bars. Then it was time to back to university. Sheikh Saleem Bhimji drove me and Hasnein home and showed us the Halal restaurants and Muslim places in town. I have become an active member of the community, and I am currently serving as secretary of the Islamic Humanitarian Service, a charity based in Kitchener. I thank God that the Kitchener-Waterloo Shi’ah Muslim community has accepted me as a member of their community and has done so much to help me.

My journey to Islam has not always been easy, and I have had to struggle and make a lot of sacrifices along the way. I have often failed to live up to my duties to God but I am so thankful to Him that I have found the true path - Shi’ah Islam. I know that submitting to God through the example and traditions of the Holy Family of the Prophet Muhammad is the purpose of life.

How I found the Right Path

Kathy (Ma’asumeh) Kooshesh

●How does one look back on the most important event in her life and put it into perspective?

This event for me was my discovery of the “right path”, Islam, and Submission to the One God. This event, my acknowledging the power of Islam, and my conscious decision to submit to Allah (SWT) was this most life-changing event.

But looking back on it, I wonder how did I get to where I am today, a Muslim? Surely, coming from a rural Arkansas background and never even hearing about Islam until my late teens, would not prepare me for this huge change. What, I wondered, made me different from all the others who hear about Islam and reject it or who don’t realize that it is the truth? Well, I usually start long before I even knew the word Islam to explain how I ended up here.

When I was a small child, my mother was very ill. She was born with a heart condition and had her first stroke by the time I was three years old. My mother’s health problems always made me aware of the fragility of life, and what a great gift it is. My parents divorced when I was seven, leaving me with my mother. The few years we spent together after that, I believe, helped shape and mold me to become the person I am today.

My mother was not a Muslim, but she was a sincere Christian. She believed whole-heartedly that our purpose in life is to serve God. Although we were not regular church-goers, faith was an important part of our lives. We depended on each other and grew together during those few years. My mother eventually had another stroke, which left her totally disabled, and forced me to move in with my father and step-mother. At the time, it was a blow to me, as I didn’t want the change. I love my father dearly, however, and looking back, welcome the time that I spent growing up in his household.

My father is not a religious person, but he is spiritual. He was always fair and moral, and between my mother’s faith and my father’s morality, I grew up with a strong sense of responsibility toward God. I did not always attend church or participate in organized religious activity, but I did feel at peace with God, especially in the quiet walks I used to take in the woods near our house. I could see the Power and Majesty of Allah all around me in the animals, the trees, and the beauty of His creation. I never doubted that Allah was real and powerful, but I did not know how to express my faith. So I began to look into church.

I attended various denominations from the Church of Christ to the Assembly of God, to the General Baptist. The General Baptist Church is where I spent the most time and made many friends.

I think that making friends was the main reason that I stuck with attending church, though. I remember having many questions that could not be answered (like the concept of the trinity). I just figured my faith was not strong enough, or I was not smart enough to understand. Nobody could explain it to me adequately. Eventually, I just pushed the confusion behind me and decided it was something that I would understand if God willed. I knew without a doubt that God was real. I also knew that I needed faith in order to attain salvation. But since Christianity was the only religion I had ever known, it did not occur to me to look elsewhere. The other religions that I had heard about were practiced by people “over there” in other parts of the world, and the poor souls, they were in need of “saving”- at least according to the teachers at my church. I always had a problem with this, though. Saving, that is. To me, God must be Just (andAlhamdulillah , I find today that He truly is). I could not understand how God could banish someone to eternal hellfire, because they did not know the truth. I somehow believed that God would forgive our mistakes if we did not know better (‘Adl, I see now...). But since I had no background in any other faith, I continued to try to understand Christianity.

I had always been and continue to be interested in learning about other cultures. From a purely sociological/anthropological point of view, I love to learn about and explore other religions and cultures. I never thought that I would ever adopt any of the cultural differences into my own life, however. Growing up in America, children are often taught that “West is Best” and the rest of the world - the “third world” - is just trying to catch up with us. I didn’t necessarily believe this, but the ethnocentric attitude of those around me had worn off in some areas, and in addition, I had been so thoroughly convinced that I must believe God had a son and that there was really no alternative for me other than to attend the Christian church, believing as I had always done. I was far too fearful of hellfire to accept anything else from just reading about it. I needed to see Islam in action before I would grasp its beauty. That would happen much later.

As I grew older and (somewhat) wiser, I realized that the problems I had had with the Christian church were not just between denominations. I had bounced from church to church by this time, in my late teens (again thinking I had no alternative), until I got to the point where I finally just quit. I could not fathom some of the ideas they were teaching, and I just had too many questions that they could not answer. So I decided I would just believe in God, but not belong to any particular faith. I longed for the “feeling” of God around me that I used to find in my solitary walks in the woods. Christianity was not providing that. I thought I would do better on my own.

That is how I spent the most part of two years. I still considered myself a Christian, but by this time, I certainly was not living any semblance of a moral lifestyle. My search for understanding and the path to God had led me away from the Christian church, but to what? I had never even met anyone who wasn’t Christian. I had no idea where to go, but I wandered around in the darkness for some time. The more I wandered, the further I moved away from God, and the more I moved toward everything I had ever hated. I became totally lost. Finally, knowing that there was nothing for me in the Christian church, but not having any alternatives in front of me, I began to seriously research and try to learn about other religions.

I did some study on my own and took a class in comparative religion. I can’t say at the time I was actually looking for a particular faith, but I was open to all. I took a class called Cross-Cultural Studies that would ultimately change my life.

It was in this class that my first exposure to Islam occurred. The course offered a study unit on Islam, and the gentleman who spoke to our class brought with him a huge (all Arabic) copy of The Qur’an and some beautiful pictures of mosques from around the world. I remember thinking that the culture of Islam was certainly rich, and I wanted to learn more (even before I knew about the religion). But the more I studied and participated in the class, the more I realized that this religion was not as it had been portrayed in the media. It was tolerant, caring, and brotherly; not fanatical and oppressive as the media would have you believe.

I remember thinking that, for the first time, a door had been opened to me to answer some of the questions I had. Alas, however, the class ended, and I was stuck right where I had started (albeit a lot more informed).

I realized I needed a change in my life to get away from the bad influences I had been running with. So I moved. It was the best thing I ever did. I transferred to another university, and there met the man who is now my husband. He in turn introduced me to other Muslims, and my study increased.

My husband was from Iran, and Shia; so the majority of people that I met at the time were Shia. They were models of the things they were teaching me. In every aspect, they lived what they taught. I respected this above all, since I had seen such hypocrisy in the churches I had attended. It was refreshing to see people who believed so strongly in their deen that they were fearful of Allah for disobeying. They were not concerned with the rest of the world’s opinion - only Allah’s.

They were not interested in converting me to Shi’ism, but rather, in teaching me about Islam and letting me make my own decisions. Whatever questions I had, they were there to answer. They helped me to begin my library, acquiring books that were not hostile to Shia, but logical and thought out. Logical arguments were convincing, but I wanted to know more about the early days of Islam, so I began reading more about the history of Islam and the 14 Maasoomeen (A.S.). I read about figures such as Imam Ali, Imam Hussein (A.S.), and Hazrat Abbas (A.S.). These souls, along with many others in the history of Islam, had been through great struggle for their faith. With the logical arguments I had read in favor of Islam and seeing this faith in practice by my new friends, I knew that these people in the early days of Islam who had struggled so valiantly could not be wrong.

When I read Najul Balagha and the wise words of Imam Ali (A.S.), I knew that this man was surely the brother of the Prophet (S.A.W.) and the best guide for the people after the Prophet Muhammad himself (P.B.U.H. & H.F.). His character, morality, bravery, and wisdom were all patterned after the Prophet himself, and I knew he could not be wrong.

The study took some time, but from the beginning I knew that this was what I had been searching for all my life. I said myshahadah formally on my wedding day with many friends as witnesses, although by that time I was already living the life of a Muslim, wearinghijab and learning my prayers. Shortly after that, I decided to eat only Halal meat. Being Shia, I have had two sources of stress in my search for the truth. Firstly, my own family was not supportive of my search, and secondly, the Sunni majority also tends to« disown » those who are Shia. If the convert is in a town with a strong Shia community, this is not a problem, but for me it was. Our town was small, and our Shia community consisted of only about 7 families.Alhamdulillah , though, those 7 families were wonderful living examples of Islam, as I have said.

Little by little over the almost 10 years I have been Muslim, I have tried to implement the teachings of Islam into my life. It has not always been easy, as I am in a constant struggle with my nafs. It is truly the« jihad al-akbar » , and one that I will struggle with the remainder of my life. We, converts, have to remember that Islam was revealed to the people over the space of 23 years not overnight. In our zeal to« get it right » , we often want to do it all *now*. It is best if we take it slow, learning the significance of each act of worship as we go. Then, we are more likely to understand and less likely to turn back when things are difficult.

I thank Allah daily that I have been shown Islam, true and unadulterated, and that I have been given this chance to serve my Lord in the best way possible. I pray that I can only live up to the great responsibility that Allah has given me, and that I will be among the first to be in support of Imam-e-Zamaan (A.S.) when he returns,Inshallah (May Allah Hasten His Return).