Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

From MTV to Mecca

Kristiane Backer uses her life story to tell the world about Islam. It is not every day that you hear of a former MTV presenter writing a book on Islam. «From MTV to Mecca: How Islam Inspired My Life» is a riveting account of how Kristiane Backer went from being one of the most recognized faces on MTV Europe to converting to Islam after meeting with Pakistani cricketing legend (now turned politician) lmran Khan.

« I wrote this book because I have been a victim of Islamophobia, » she tells Weekend Review.« The Islam I read about in the media on a daily basis is not the Islam I converted to and the Islam my teachers taught me. It is such a wide gap that I wrote the book to take people by the hand and show them how I discovered Islam and how I overcame these prejudices. I want to show the true values of lslam. »

Backer joined MTV Europe in 1989 as one of its first VJs. In the years that followed, her stardom rocketed as she presented shows such as« The Coca Cola Report » ,« European Top 20 » and« MTV at the Movies » . In 1992, alongside working for MTV, she also landed herself a youth show on German National television, Bravo TV.

Yet, even though she had everything a young person could dream of, Backer felt something was lacking. She was fed up of having to constantly perform - one show chasing the next - and then being home alone again.« I thought what I was missing was love for a man, » she says.« But then I realized that the inner void I’d felt could only be filled by Allah - not by a human being. Because people come and go - love happens, then it disappears again, and then what? Only one love is forever and eternal and that is the love for God. There came a point when I experienced a personal crisis. I was so stressed out from all the pressure that I was ready to go: ready to die, basically- I felt that depressed. As I was rushing to a show I was supposed to host in Belgium, I thought if the [aircraft] crashed it didn’t matter. Who cares? No joy here. Shortly after came a turning point in her life. In 1992, she met Imran Khan at a friend’s dinner, and they began to see each other frequently. Khan incidentally at that time was finding his own faith. He was reading a lot of books about Islam and enthusiastically started sharing everything with her. « I was somehow receptive to that because I had always had an interest in philosophy, ethics and religion in school, » she says.« He talked to me about God, our purpose in life, and a higher goal to look at. »

One of the books she read, which deeply influenced her, was« The Road to Mecca » , by Mohammad Asad, formerly a Jewish journalist who famously converted to Islam in Berlin in 1926 after travelling the Arabian lands.« He described the beautiful noble Arab soul so eloquently before the arrival of oil, » Backer says.« That was when he was there in the Arabian Peninsula, hanging out with the Bedouin. He describes beautifully how you could travel throughout the whole Arabia and never pay a penny as the people were so hospitable. He observes the striking contrast between the warmth of the Arabian people he encountered in the desert and the miserable and stressed passengers of the Berlin tube. When Asad came home, he opened The Quran and read, ‘You are obsessed by greed for more and more, until you go down to your graves’ and he thought this was the answer to what he had seen on the tube. » Backer’s own encounters with Muslims had some strange parallels to Asad’s.

Khan invited Backer to travel to the northern regions of Pakistan. Backer was impressed by the hospitality of the village people she met who were living with so little.

« We passed many poor people who had a light in their eyes, » she says.« When I returned I had an experience similar to Mohammad Asad’s. You realize people are miserable because they can’t get the latest Prada handbag that has sold out. Or they haven’t got the right VIP all-access pass. I was commuting between two worlds. I saw for myself the difference between attitudes. OK, I will give you an example. »

She recounts her experience on the flight back from Pakistan. Backer was sitting next to a Pakistani man, and they began chatting.« At the airport in London, a whole tribe was waiting for him, » she laughs,« And he noticed I was alone. So he suggested he and some of his family members take me home first. This delayed the family visit by an hour or so. Unbelievable, I didn’t even know these people. »

Shortly afterwards Backer went to Germany to participate in a major TV event.« The boss of my TV station asked my producers who were then driving back to the hotel if he could get a lift, » she says.« In the car, they debated among themselves briefly and concluded time is money - that would be a ten-minute detour, so no, they couldn’t give a lift. » But it wasn’t just these contrasting experiences which drew her to Islam. For Backer the attraction to the religion was on different levels.« I saw so many people on the team of Imran Khan’s cancer hospital, » she says.« They all donated their time, money, and effort just to help build this hospital for the people of Pakistan, where the poor would be treated free of charge. Pakistan never had a cancer hospital, or indeed a health - care system - it was sad. Imran built the first cancer hospital there with an army of volunteers, and I was really touched by that. When I travelled through the Karakorum Mountains, I saw very poor people who lived in little mud houses and slept above their animals so that the heat rose and kept them warm. It was heartbreaking - I’d never seen anything like it. Yet, what touched me was their generosity. When we got out of our jeep and visited the villages, the people offered us whatever they had - almonds, apricots, walnuts - with a ‘Bismillah’, ‘in the name of God’. »

However inspired she may have been by the simple Muslim people she encountered, her interest in Islam ended up costing Backer her job. In 1995, she was celebrating the 100th episode of her show on Bravo TV. One journalist had done his research really well and asked if she had already converted for her friend.« I said no, but that I was a Muslim at heart. I had still not converted at that time. This little remark practically ended my career. A negative media campaign followed. The press accused me of having lost the plot, presenting my youth show from behind the burqa or supporting terrorism. On top of all that, a week later, I lost my youth show. It all happened at the same time. Unbelievable. »

Prior to the press demonization, there hadn’t been any problems with Bravo TV.« What can I say? » she says.« The contract was just signed. Then they pretended the contract didn’t exist. It practically finished my career. »

Backer credits her faith for pulling her through all her professional difficulties.« I lost everything at the same time, » she says,« my job, my relationship. But I had gained my faith, the most precious gift of all. I was going to a certain mosque where there were a lot of spiritual people, Sufis. They helped me see these difficulties from a higher perspective and understand that there is some good even in suffering. If God loves you, He afflicts you, a Hadith says. And who experienced the most difficulties? The prophets. So I suppose anybody going through a difficult time is a good sign, God loves you. »

Backer believes there is a message in the book for people caught up in today’s materialistic lifestyle.« A lot of young people want MTV, entertainment, culture, » she says.« I had all that, and I can tell you it doesn’t bring lasting happiness. I would never want my old life back. That emptiness I felt before I converted is now filled with meaning. I have a focus, a purpose in my life, and that constant connection with God - an anchor in heaven. »

She also makes a distinction between religious practices and the culture, which people often mix up.« For a European, converting to Islam doesn’t mean wearing the abaya in London, » she says.« The abaya is a cultural custom. We can wear our modest European clothes, pray, give charity and abstain from alcohol - adhere to the principles but not necessarily take on other cultural traits. I don’t need to wear a shalwar kameez or an abaya, although I have a few of each and enjoy wearing them when suitable. But normally, in the West, I wear my European clothes. Basically I try to practice Islam with my European understanding of things. » Backer feels certain essential values which can be characterized as European, such as a respect for human rights and concern for the environment, are also Islamic values. Yet these are missing in a lot of Muslim - majority countries.« Mohammad Asad, in the last century, said you find a lot of Islam in Europe but few Muslims, yet you find a lot of Muslims in the East but very little true Islam, » she says.

Being a convert to Islam has its challenges, acknowledges Backer, particularly with regard to finding a like-minded social circle. Even more of a struggle for converts can be to locate a suitable marriage partner, as many are stuck between two worlds. Backer herself is divorced and finds life at times can get a bit lonely.« Muslims are so keen on converting people to Islam, » she says.« But I always say, what about the aftercare? That is when the real work starts. Don’t just think about converting someone and then leaving them to their own devices. I am fortunate to have developed a good network of friends in faith by now. Thank God. But how many Eids have I not celebrated because I am on my own? And every Eid it is the same, going to the mosque, and then it is business as usual for me, unfortunately. Unless I am really lucky and someone invites me, but it doesn’t always happen. »

However, she is not alone in this experience.« Often, on Eid, I end up having dinner with one convert friend who also doesn’t have a Muslim family, » she says.« And on Christmas, we are both not really welcome among our own families anymore because they think we have chosen something else. It’s the same in Ramadan. I don’t have anyone to share sahoor with in the morning or break my fast with - except of course when invited for iftar. A degree of isolation is a part of being a convert or reverts, although, of course, we are now always in the best company of all - God. And it is the faith that pulls us through any challenge, although I have heard of a number of new Muslims who gave up again because of a lack of support from the Muslim community. Only yesterday, I met a lady who was a practicing Muslim for ten years or so and then later became a Christian minister. »

Backer keeps busy with efforts to improve the public image of Islam in Britain. She was one of the names behind an« Inspired by [Prophet] Mohammad [PBUH] » campaign in London that aimed to present a positive message of the religion by displaying adverts at bus stops, tube stations, and cabs. Her picture was featured on the posters with the words,« I believe in protecting the environment, so did ([Prophet] Mohammad [PBUH]. » The campaign was positively received in the media. More recently, she was interviewed by the BBC to talk about the controversy surrounding the anti-Islam film« Innocence of Muslims » .

One of her concerns remains that a majority of people in the United Kingdom draw their knowledge about Islam from what the media tells them.« People don’t go into Islamic bookshops and buy books by Gai Eaton or other scholars, » she says,« They just read the Daily Mail or watch TV and then form their opinion on Islam. I believe it’s all about education. That is why I usually do all these interviews. When The Sun calls, a lot of people say, ‘Oh, I don’t want to speak to The Sun.’ I do it because even if I could just get a drop of the truth into that ocean it could have a ripple effect.

Brother Yahya: Best way to live and die

(Yahya) Donald W. Flood

The Qur’an: The Last Revelation

I comprehended that it was found imperative due to innovations attributed to Divine revelation that the need arose for another Prophet after Eesa (A.S.) with another revelation after the Gospel. This is why Allah sent Muhammad (P.B.U.H) with the last Message, (i.e., The Qur’an), to bring all of mankind back to the belief in and worship of One Allah, without partners or intermediaries. According to Muslims, The Holy Qur’an, the permanent ultimate source of guidance for mankind, offers a rational and historical elucidation of the magnificent role of Eesa (A.S.). The name Eesa (A.S.) is cited twenty-five times in The Qur’an, which contains a chapter called Maryam (Mary), named after the mother of Eesa (alaihissalam). Regarding the Divine authenticity of this revelation, I found the following Quranic verses very compelling:« And it was not [possible] for this Qur’an to be produced by other than Allah, but [it is] a confirmation of what was before it and a detailed explanation of the [former] Scripture, about which there is no doubt, from the Lord of the Worlds. » (10:37) and« And indeed, it is the truth of certainty. » (69:51) Similarly, I was concerned about the adulteration of The Qur’an since this was a major problem with the previous revelations. I read that The Qur’an will never change or be abrogated:« Indeed, it is We who sent down the message [i.e., the Qur’an], and indeed, We will be its guardian. » (15:9) I was also informed about some of the scientific phenomena mentioned in The Qur’an, which give credence to the belief that The Qur’an is the literal word of Allah. There are verses describing human embryonic development, mountains, the origin of the universe, the cerebrum, seas, deep seas, and internal waves and clouds. It is beyond explanation that anyone, more than fourteen hundred years ago, could have known the facts, which were found or confirmed recently by advanced mechanisms and sophisticated scientific procedures.

Islam: The Essence and Culmination of Revealed Religions

Muslims believe that the essential purpose for which mankind was created is the worship of Allah. As He said in The Qur’an,« And I did not create the jinn [i.e., a type of creation, created by Allah from fire] and mankind except to worship Me » (51:56) Related to this, a well known Islamic scholar from the West says,« The most complete system of worship available to humans today is the system found in the religion of Islam. The very name ‘Islam’ means ‘submission to the Will of Allah’. Although it is commonly referred to as ‘the third of the three monotheistic faiths, it is not a new religion at all. It is the religion brought by all the Prophets of Allah for humankind. Islam was the religion of Adam, Abraham, Moses and Jesus. » In addition he states,« Since there is only One Allah, and humankind is one species, the religion that Allah has ordained for humans is [essentially] one... Human spiritual and social needs are uniform, and human nature has not changed since the first man and woman were created.

Uncovering the fact that the message of Allah has always been the same, I realized it is the duty of all human beings to seek the truth and not just blindly accept the religion that their society or parents follow. According to The Qur’an, « You worship besides Him not except [mere] names you have named, you and your fathers, for which Allah has sent down no authority... » (12:40). RegardingFitrah [i.e., the inherent nature of man to worship Allah prior to the corruption of his nature by external influences], Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said,« Every child is born on Al-Fitrah, and his parents convert him to Judaism or Christianity or Magianism. As an animal delivers a perfect baby animal, do you find it mutilated? » Furthermore, Allah says,« so direct your face [i.e., self] toward the religion, inclining toward truth. [Adhere to] the Fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know. » (30:30) Moreover, I learned there is no other religion acceptable to Allah besides Islam, as He clearly states in The Qur’an:« And whoever desires other than Islam as a religion, never will it be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers. » (3:85). I deduced that man might neglect the guidance of Allah and establish his own standards of living. Ultimately, however, he will discover it is only a mirage that deluded him.

A Traveler

As I continued to read The Qur’an and learn about the sayings and doings of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H), I noticed Islam views man as a traveler in this life, and the ‘Home’ is in the next life for eternity. We are here for a short period, and we cannot take anything with us from this life except our belief in Allah and our deeds. Thus, man should be like a traveler who passes through the land and does not become attached to it. As travelers on this journey, we must understand that the meaning of being alive is to be tested. Hence, there is suffering, joy, pain, and elation. These tests of good and evil are intended to evoke our higher spiritual qualities. Yet, we are incapable of benefiting from these tests unless we do our best, have complete trust in Allah, and patiently accept what He has destined for us.

The Road to Paradise

It was very meaningful to learn about Paradise since this must certainly be the ultimate goal of every individual. Regarding this eternal home, Allah says,« And no soul knows what has been hidden for it of comfort for eyes [i.e., satisfaction] as a reward for what it used to do. » (32:17) I also became aware of a pleasure that is beyond all imagination, which is to be in the Presence of the Creator Himself. I wondered who the souls worthy of such a reward are. This reward of Paradise is too great to have a price. I was told the price is true faith, which is proven by obedience to Allah and following the Sunnah (way) of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H). I grasped that mankind must worship Allah to attain righteousness and the spiritual status necessary to enter Paradise. This means human beings have to comprehend that worship is as indispensable as eating and breathing and not a favor they are doing for Allah. Likewise, I found out that we need to read The Qur’an to find out what kind of people Allah wants us to be and then try to become as such. This is the road to Paradise.

Overcoming an Obstacle

At this point, I felt about 80% sure I wanted to become a Muslim, but something was holding me back. I was concerned about the reaction of my family and friends if they knew that I had become a Muslim. Shortly thereafter, I expressed this concern to a Muslim who told me that on Judgment Day, no one will be able to help you, not your father, mother nor any of your friends. Therefore, if you believe Islam is the true religion, you should embrace it and live your life to please the One Who created you. Thus, it became very lucid to me that we are all in the same boat; every soul shall taste death, and then we’ll be liable for our particular belief in Allah and for our deeds.

A Meaningful Videotape

By this stage in my search for the truth, I was on the verge of embracing Islam. I watched an Islamic lecture on videotape about the purpose of life. The main theme of this lecture was that the purpose of life may be summed up in one word, i.e., Islam (peaceful submission to the Will of Allah). An additional point was that, unlike other religions or beliefs, the term ‘Islam’ is not associated with any particular person or place. Allah has named the religion in the following Quranic verse:« Indeed, the Religion in the sight of Allah is Islam... » (3:19) Anyone who embraces Islam is called Muslim regardless of that person’s race, sex or nationality. This is one of the reasons why Islam is a universal religion. Prior to my search for the truth, I had never seriously considered Islam as an option because of the constant negative portrayal of Muslims in the media. Similarly, it was disclosed in this videotape that although Islam is characterized by high moral standards, not all Muslims uphold these standards. I learned the same can be said about adherents of other religions. I finally understood that we cannot judge a religion by the actions of its followers alone, as I had done, because all humans are fallible. On that account, we should not judge Islam by the actions of its proponents, but by its revelation (The Holy Qur’an) and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H). The last point I picked up from this lecture concerned the importance of gratitude. Allah mentions in The Qur’an that we should be grateful for the fact that He created us:« And Allah has extracted you from the wombs of your mothers not knowing a thing, and He made for you hearing and vision and hearts [i.e., intellect] that perhaps you would be grateful. » (16:78) Allah Almighty has also cited gratitude along with belief and has made it clear that He gains nothing from punishing His people when they give thanks to Him and believe in Him. He says in The Qur’an,« What would Allah do with [i.e., gain from] your punishment if you are grateful and believe? » (4:147)

The Truth Unveils Itself

As soon as the videotape had finished, I experienced the truth being unveiled to my spirit. I felt a huge burden of sins flying off my back. Moreover, it felt like my soul was rising above the earth, refusing the makeshift delights of this world in favor of the eternal joys of the Hereafter. This experience, coupled with the long process of reasoning, solved the ‘purpose of life puzzle’. It revealed Islam as the truth, thereby replenishing my ‘spiritual landscape’ with belief, purpose, direction, and action. I, therefore, entered the gate of lslam by saying the declaration of faith required to become a Muslim: Ashhadu an la ilaha illa Allah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah. (I bear witness that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger). I was informed that this formal testimony confirms one’s belief in all the Prophets and Messengers of Allah, along with all of His Divine revelations in their original form, thereby updating and completing one’s religion to the last of the Prophets [Muhammad (P.B.U.H)] and to the final revelation of Allah [The Qur’an]. The following point became overwhelmingly clear to me: Had Eesa (A.S.) been the last Prophet of Allah and had the Gospel been the final book of revelation, I would have attested to that. As a result, I have naturally chosen to follow the final revelation from the Creator as exemplified by the Seal of the Prophets (P.B.U.H).

Impressions of a New Muslim

During my search to find the truth, the lesson, which, transcended all lessons, was that all objects of worship other than Allah are mere delusions. To anyone who sees this clearly, the only possible course is to bring one’s own will and actions into complete unison with that of Allah. Acquiescing to the Will of Allah has enabled me to feel peace with the Creator, with others, and finally, with myself. Consequently, I feel very grateful, that by the Mercy of Allah, I have been rescued from the depths of ignorance and have stepped into the light of truth. Islam, the true religion of all times, places, and peoples, is a complete code of life which guides man to fulfill the purpose of his existence on earth and prepares him for the Day when he will return to his Creator. Following this path in a devout manner enables one to gain the pleasure of Allah and be closer to Him amid the endless delights of Paradise while escaping from the punishment of Hellfire. Another bonus is that our present life will be much happier when we make such a choice.

A Deceptive Enjoyment

Embracing Islam has given me more of an insight into the illusive nature of this life. For instance, one basic object of Islam is the liberation of man. This is why a Muslim calls himself ‘Abdullah’, the slave or servant of Allah, because enslavement to Allah signifies liberation from all other forms of servitude, and although modern man may think that he is liberated, he is in fact a slave to his desires. He is generally deceived by this worldly life. He is ‘addicted’ to hoarding wealth, sex, violence, intoxicants, etc. But above all, he is often seduced by the capitalist system that tends to work through the invention of false needs, which he feels must be satisfied instantly. As Allah says in the Qur’an,« Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? Or do you think that most of them hear or reason? They are not except as cattle. Rather, they are [even] more astray in [their] way. » (25: 43-44) Correspondingly, we should not let our zeal to enjoy the pleasures of this fleeting life and jeopardize our opportunity to enjoy the ecstasy of Paradise. As Allah says in The Qur’an,« Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return [i.e. Paradise]. Say, « Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who fear Allah will be in gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah... » (3:14-15) Therefore, the real competition in this life is not the accumulation of wealth or the desire for fame; it is competing with one another to perform good deeds to please Allah, while having our lawful portion of enjoyment in this life.

The Right Path to Allah

There are many religious alternatives available to man, and it is up to him to choose the one he wishes to follow. He is like a merchant with many goods in front of him, and it is his choice which one to trade in. He will obviously select the one he thinks will be the most lucrative. However, the merchant is unsure and has no guarantee of prosperity; his product may have a market and he may make handsome returns, but he could just as easily lose all of his money. In contrast, the believer in the Oneness of Allah who submits to His Will (a Muslim), is completely sure that if he follows the path of guidance [the Qur’an and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H)], there will undoubtedly be success and reward waiting for him at the end of this path. Fortunately, this success also starts at the beginning of the path.

Epilogue

Based on my search for the truth, I concluded that the precise way we believe in Allah and the deeds we perform determine our future condition for eternity. Our Creator is giving us all an equal chance, regardless of our circumstances, to earn His pleasure in preparation for Judgment Day, as in the following Quranic verses:« And obey Allah and His Messenger that you may obtain mercy. And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden [i.e., Paradise] as wide as the Heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. » (3:132-133) If we sincerely seek the truth of this life, which is Islam (peaceful submission to the Will (of Allah), Allah will guide us there, Insha Allah. He directs us to examine the life and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H), as he represents the best role model for mankind to follow. Furthermore, Allah directs us to investigate and ponder what He says in The Qur’an. One will see that The Qur’an is indeed like a persistent and strong knocking on a door, or loud shouts seeking to awaken those who are fast asleep because they are just completely absorbed by this life on earth. The knocks and shouts appear one after the other: Wake up! Look around you! Think! Reflect! Allah is there! There is planning, trial, accountability, reckoning, reward, severe punishment, and lasting bliss! Clearly and unequivocally, the best way to live and die in this world is as a righteous Muslim! When one comes to the conclusion that Islam is the truth, he should not delay in becoming a Muslim because he may die first, and then it will be too late; A few months after embracing Islam, I found two verses in The Qur’an that mirror what the American Muslim told me regarding how we should live and die:« And Ibrahim (alaihissalam) instructed his sons and [so did] Yaqoob (alaihissalam), [saying], O my sons! Indeed Allah has chosen for you this religion, so do not die except while you are Muslims. » (2:132) And O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims [in submission to Him].» (3:102).

I’m a new Muslim

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

There is nothing easier than converting to Islam: The moment one really becomes aware personally that God is real and truly does exist and accepts that the Arab Muhammad (peace be upon him) really was the last Prophet of God as all the others named in the Bible, one has actually taken the first step.

This moment of dawning is called taqwa (God-consciousness), and ihsan - awareness. Suddenly you know that God can see you and knows you, even if you do not know or see Him.

The next step in becoming a Muslim is to make a clear statement of this moment of faith, to declareshahadah : ‘I bear witness’. Then follows the rest of your life.

Living as a Muslim

It is one thing to become a Muslim in the mind, but it’s quite another to enter into the lifestyle or to become part of the local Muslim community.

For many female converts, this involves a great deal of determination and confidence building. Not only do you have to face your own family and friends who think you have gone mad, but as a woman you have to find the courage to enter the mosque world, which may consist of scowling bearded men who will not speak to you.

If you’re a Muslim woman convert in those parts of the north of England where mosques are heavily Asian in character, you have to learn a lot about those Asian cultures, as well as about Islam.

Under the scowls you may meet shyness, gentleness, piety, genuine friendliness, hospitality, and generosity - but it is regarded as rude for a man to appear eager to talk to women or look at them with more than a mere glance.

And many mosques don’t yet have enough room for the women folk to pray there as well.

Gaining confidence

But we converts are gaining in confidence. We no longer feel we have to pretend to be Arabs or Pakistanis in order to belong.

We now know there are Muslims in every place in the world, from Eskimo to Aborigine.

We may take an Arabic name, or we may choose to keep our old names; it doesn’t really matter.

The ladies may opt for a costume that consists of loose trousers and long shirts or long skirts.

If we feel out of it at the local mosque because we don’t understand the language, we are beginning to get organized with house-mosques and groups of our own, where we can invite the Asians to be our guests.

Many kinds of Muslim, one family

We converts are beginning to have read enough and studied enough to voice our own opinions about things. We have become mature enough to realize that not every Muslim is a saint - people are people, and most of us are far from perfect.

We get over the disappointment of discovering that not every Muslim is living the Muslim way of life to perfection. It doesn’t make us give up or accuse them of hypocrisy; we just do our best to live our own lives in the best way we can.

Gradually each convert wakes up to the fact that there are many different styles of Muslim.

Some Muslims are spiritual while some are ritualistic.

But we converts increasingly feel we can take out place alongside the others in this vast Ummah or family, and so long as we are doing our best, Allah will reward our good intentions.

Jamie Bor: From a model to a Muslim Woman

Peace be upon you.

My name is Jamie.

I was born and raised as modern non-sectarian Christian. I did not find in Christianity answers to what I was searching for. For 31 years as a Christian, I did not once feel the existence of Allah. I tried my best, but I could not feel His existence at all.

I was a model in my country for five years. I had drugs during that stage. I used to have it as an assistant to lose weight. I wanted to take drugs only once to avoid overeating. I used to believe that I am strong, and I would be able to avoid addiction which turns everyone who takes it into an addict. I thought I will use it for two weeks, but I turned to an addict day and night. Drugs hurled me to the abyss and to absolute destruction. My husband used to take drugs too what caused him to be violent with me. I even was afraid on my life.

Then I decided to stop being a druggie for that was not the life I wanted. I told him I want to stop. He laughed and said:« You will not be able to. » I told him:« I will. » As such I stopped, and since that day I did not look backwards again. I did not have any program for rehabilitation, any external help, or support system. My husband used to laugh trying to make me refrain from my decision and return to drugs again. Later on, I delivered my small baby, and my total view of life changed completely. I loved that adorable small baby who needs a good mother. I loved him so very much. Thus I wanted to change everything I used to care for in the past for his sake.

In the past, I was able to do anything I wanted to do. I was part of Hollywood which everyone would wish to be a part of. I wasn’t that much a conservative person before converting to Islam. I was not a good person either. In the past, I used to drink, and I was an addict, but now I do not wish to do any of these things anymore.

I made a research about Islam for a period of time before converting into Islam. I wanted to know above all the reason that makes Muslims hated to this extent after watching the news and seeing the oppression and violence.

This pushed me to search for the truth and to know whether Islam was really as such. I started my search, and the more I searched, the deeper I reached until I found the truth.

Many people were stunned when I gave up all the previous pleasures to become a Muslim. And what is strange is that the moment I declared« shahadah » , I felt that I completely lost all the desire to do these things.

It is really wonderful to enjoy and feel peace in my heart because I am a Muslim.

I believe that the most important thing that made me admire Islam is its show of respect to women. Women are very much respected in Islam; however, our life as women is not easy. We have much to think of and to worry about such as our families, husbands, and children. Bringing up children is something not easy at all. That is in addition to the house chores, cooking, and looking after our husbands....

It is really a tough responsibility.

In fact, Islam respects women for these reasons. The reason for separating us from men in mosques is to avoid the distraction of men. Islam understands the power in our attraction and appearance that catch the attention of men. Islam respects this too. As soon as I understood this, the idea dominated me, and I wanted to become a Muslim. Converting into Islam made me feel different. It made me feel absolute peace. In the past, I used to feel unstable. Many things in my life were unstable. The reason was that I did not take any decision concerning them. I did not have any goal in my mind. I did not have any goal for my existence; however, converting to Islam gave me peace, serenity, and stability, and these were what I wanted in life. My Islam made things true to me and made me fit for them. At last, I had a goal for my life. Now I understand the goal for my life. We do not always have the chance to meet people whom we essentially need to understand them. That made me frequently visit the mosque to get closer to people and to understand them. The more I visited the mosque, the more women got around me, took care of me, and gave me the sympathy found in Islam.

I never in my life, not even once, thought that I would become a Muslim. My convictions about Muslims were very much fallacious. I used not to love them. I used to believe that they are bad, and I never thought - not even once in a million - that I will become one of them.

However, today I am proud and very happy. I want to wear thehijab so that people would know that I am a Muslim, and I would not care even if they would hate me. I want to make it clear to them that Allah exists in every person and not only in Middle Easterners.

THE CANADIAN MUSLIM MUSSA F.

The Canadian brother Mussa F. embraced Islam and wrote his story to Noor Al Islam Magazine.

My name is Moussa but it was not always Moussa, and, in fact, it still isn’t but I prefer to remain anonymous in telling you about myself for family reasons that will become obvious later on in my story.

I was born in a normal middle class European family, and I had a normal middle class upbringing with no particular problems other than the usual problems which any western family experiences. My parents did their best to make sure that I had a good education, the usual toys, Christmas presents, outings, and holidays away from home etc. that other children around me had.

Religion was a subject rarely discussed in my family and was generally confined to marriages, baptisms, and funerals. Islam, although a major influence on the history of humanity in the past to my well-read mother, is now regarded by my parents as a hindrance to modern day progress, an oppressor of the rights of women, and a general all-round source of terrorism, fanaticism, and political problems for the world as a whole. What is worse it is, to them, a strange and foreign religion.

A previous incident in my family, on the subject of religion, has left me in no doubt that my conversion would not be accepted and that it would only lead to division if I told them about it. Thus, although I have been Muslim now for several years, I have not yet dared to tell my family about it, and this has been made easier by the fact that I live far from them. I do phone them regularly and write letters as often as possible: however, visiting them would be a little difficult without them discovering, because of prayers, eating habits etc.

Since the death of my Grandfather, when I was an adolescent, I started to try to talk to God, and the first thing I asked God was to help my Grandfather to get to heaven. Since then I have always believed in God, but it was not until I found myself teaching in an international school in India, several years later, that I first began to question the fact that Christianity might not be the true religion from God.

The question I first asked myself was« Why did God only give prophets to the Jews and then later to the Christians? » Did He really leave all the Indians, Africans etc. without a prophet throughout most of their history?»

The answer to this question came to me through a German family I met who were Bahais. They told me that every nation has had its own prophet. They did not, however, tell me, and I don’t think they knew that the origin of this valuable piece of information was the Qur’an. (See sourate No. 10 (Younes) verse 47, Sourate No. 19 (Ibrahim) verse 4)

This revelation made a lot of sense to me, and I began to look into other religion’s beliefs and to have respect for the Bahais’ beliefs to the extent that when asked by a Muslim friend a few years later which religion I liked, I replied that I think the Bahais have the right idea about religion. The Muslim friend seemed very perturbed at this as he asked me what these Bahais believed in. I told him that they believed in lots of different prophets including Mohammad (P). He said that if they believed in Prophet Mohammad (P) and in The Quran they should be Muslims. When I asked why, he said that in The Quran there is a verse which states that Mohammad is the last Prophet (Sourate 33, verse 40).

I did not, at all, like the idea of being a Muslim as it carried with it many associations of violence, fanaticism, being undemocratic etc. but I decided that, as someone who considers himself to be open minded, I ought at least to read The Quran before making any definite decisions. Upon reading The Quran (in translation), I learnt that the Muslim does not have the right to attack anyone unless he is attacked first, that there is no compulsion in religion, that the best men are the ones who treat women well, that Muslim men and women were encouraged to get an education, that Muslims should give to the poor, and many other things which seemed to be the opposite of how I viewed the behavior of the Muslims of the world at the time.

After stalling as long as I could and getting my Muslim friend and others to verify the translation of the verse about Mohammad (P) being the last Prophet, fear of not following the Prophet whom God wanted me to follow and the realization that Mohammad (P) was that prophet who pushed me to admit to myself that I was a Muslim so I had better start getting used to it.

My first two years as a Muslim were a bit difficult as regards the attitude of the Europeans around me; but then they turned marvelous as I discovered more and more about this totally comprehensive religion which God has given us. And, to my great surprise, not only were the Muslims not at all violent or unfriendly, they were the warmest, friendliest, and certainly the most hospitable community I had ever met, and when they called me their brother you could see that the Islamic idea that all Muslims should consider themselves as members of one family was a powerful sentiment that even the egoism and selfishness of the modern world had not yet managed to eradicate.

Sometimes, I would discover later that those who at first seemed overawed about the fact that I had become a Muslim were in fact not too strict in their practice of the religion, but there was, nevertheless, a definite bond between all Muslims which only someone who had not been Muslim before could fully appreciate. One brother in particular that I met struck up an excellent friendship with me in a very short time and basis for this friendship was our attachment to Islam. However, I noticed that he seemed reluctant to pray with me and always seemed to have an excuse not to do so. Finally, during a discussion about politics, he mentioned that he liked the political system in Iran.« Just a minute, » I said,« Are you a Shiite?’’ I could tell that my brother in Islam was not too comfortable with this question, and to be honest, I was kind of dreading the reply as I had grown to like this particular brother a lot but had serious doubts about the Shiites.

Weren’t they the ones who thought that Ali (A.S.) was a prophet instead of Mohammad (P)? My first Muslim friend had told me that he was not sure whether the Shiites were Muslims or not.

« I prefer Muslim, » was the reply given by my brother. When I insisted on this point, he said that he was Shiite, and I then asked him what the difference between Sunnis and Shiites was. Already I sensed another few weeks, possibly months, of heavy reading ahead of me, but I listened intently to everything that he said as I loved this brother a lot, and I did not like this new division which had come between us.

From the very beginning of this latest research, I knew that once again, as with other religions throughout history, politics had reared its ugly head in our religion and had led my brothers in Islam astray but I did not know whether God wanted me to try to put my brother on the right track or whether, in fact, 1 was the one who would once again have to admit that I had been on the wrong track.

At first, I thought that the division had been created after what I knew to be the four enlightened Caliphs: Abou Bakr, Omar, Othman and Ali (A.S.). In addition, I realized that I could not trust what the ShiiteHadiths say to prove the case of the Shiites and that I could not trust what the SunniHadiths say to prove the case of the Sunnis. I decided to start by reading Sunni books about Ali and the other Caliphs.

My first book was a Sunni book about the life of Ali (A.S.). Although it did not mention any of the GhadeerHadiths it did mention that Ali was to Mohammad« as Haroun was to Moussa » . I also noted that before the battle of Siffin, Ali said to Mu’awiya’s messenger« I had a problem with Abou Bakr, Omar, and Othman as I believed the Caliphate to be my right’’ - a statement which he also made, according to another Sunni book about Abou Bakr, six months after the beginning of Abou Bakr’s rule and thirty years before the battle of Siffin.

No research into SunniHadiths would be complete without a look at the collection of Boukhari’sHadiths and the local Sunni imam helped me in this by pointing out the section which is about the qualities of the Prophet’s companions. After reading three pages about Abou Bakr, two pages about Omar, one page about Othman, and one page on how Aisha was the best, favorite wife of the Prophet and the mother of the believers, I finally came across threeHadiths about Ali. The first was about how he didn’t like a certain nickname that people gave him. The second was: «I (Prophet Mohammad (P)) am the city of knowledge, and Ali (A.S.) is its gate ».

And the last was the one about Ali (A.S.) being to the Prophet (P) as Haroun was to Moussa.

There was also a footnote which suggested that one should be suspicious of anyHadiths about Ali.

Later, I discovered SunniHadiths such as:

« Ali is the leader of all believers after me’·’ (Attirmidhi vol 5, Page 296).

« Whosoever accepts me as leader must also accept Ali, may God protect his followers and defeat his enemies » (Muslim vol 2, Page 362) etc.

I also read manyHadiths and parts of the Qur’an which refer to Ahlul Beit.

But I loved this person called Ali (A.S.) from the very first book I read about him. I loved the way he tried, to the end, to do what he believed to be right even though it seemed that everyone was against him. I know that, in politics, those who win are usually the most corrupt, and I certainly did not like this character called Mu’awiya who seemed to me to be in search of political power above all. Also if Ali (A.S.) was the gate to the city of knowledge, how could he not know that Abou Bakr, Omar, and Othman were the best men for the job of caliphate after the Prophet’s (P) death?

Once again I realized that I had to change tack, and once again I was worried in case the people around me would take it badly. But my fears were unfounded as the Sunnis in my community who were on the whole very good and serious Muslims accepted my change of opinion and direction in a brotherly way. They tried to convince me that I was wrong at the beginning (the imam even spent ten weeks talking about the qualities of the Prophets’ companions), but when they saw that I had done a lot of research they saidAlhamdulillah you are Muslim. I continued going to the same mosque until I eventually left again to work in Pakistan, and both my Shiite Muslim brother and my first Muslim brother still treat me as if I were their real brother, and they are both like brothers to each other.

I plan to tell my parents of my conversion to Islam when I get married in the hope that this would be easier for them to accept on such an occasion. Please say some prayers for my family as well as my new found brothers and sisters in Islam.

Spanish Sister:

Yolanda Martin (Zeinab)

● With Islam I got rid of the psychological and ideological unrest that had haunted me.

● I was guided and woreHijab in a hostile milieu, never cared about wealth or offensive remarks.

It is the journey from doubt to certainty, the journey of questions and constant search for the truth, the goal of the wise who seek it everywhere. How can the one who has a sound nature and an interrogative mind go astray? Here is Sister Yolanda Martin driven by her questions to the land of Islam. She has left her relatives and country to enjoy a life with her Muslim family in her husband’s homeland, Lebanon.

Q. Before talking about the reasons that made you embrace Islam, we would like you first to give us a glance about your childhood and the place where you grew up?

A. I was born in Granada (Spain). I was the second child in a Catholic humble family whose faith was innate; that is the Catholic Church and its teachings meant nothing to them, because they observed sublime values and morals. Perhaps this was an indirect element in my inclination to the Islamic faith that always concentrates on high ethics and sound behavior.

Q. What about the Spanish society today?

A. As for the Spanish society in which I lived, it is one ruled by immoral disintegration and absurdity that drive the youth to lead lives of debauchery; they spend their time in nightclubs, drink alcohol, use drugs, and have illicit sexual affairs, including homosexual ones. All this takes place under the banner of personal freedom which the Western materialistic civilization calls for. This also leads the youth not to care about the marriage institution which they view as a chain and restriction of freedom.

However, these atmospheres in my motherland have not influenced me due to the decent upbringing I had received in my family.

Q. Has the intellectual atmosphere in the school or in the university had an effect as far as you choosing the Islamic faith is concerned?

I studied in Catholic schools from the age of three until I was 17. Education in those schools was good, and the teachers and the administration took care of students. As for religious teachings, they were restricted to Lady Mary (a.s.) hymns and going to church on Sundays to listen to some sermons given by the priest during Mass. But those sermons were superficial and monotonous, so they could not draw anyone’s attention. We did not get any in-depth knowledge in the teachings of the Gospel. This has cast doubts within me concerning Christian beliefs.

When I became 14, I quitted going to church on Sundays because I saw that that was useless.

Two years before I went to college, the Religion teacher asked the following question: What is the difference between Christ (a.s.) and the rest of the prophets? I concluded that there was no difference, that he was a prophet just like the other prophets, and that he was not the son of God. These questions and conclusions were the beginnings of my actual interest in the issue of faith and the hereafter.

Q. When did you embrace Islam, and what was the reaction of your family and the people around you?

A. When I was 17, I met Muslims from different nationalities: Morocco, Lebanon, and Iran. This happened as I frequented cafes that do not sell liquor. Muslim students went to those cafes where serious discussions on faiths took place. At this stage, I read the Gospel thoroughly along with a number of Islamic books about Islam and its teachings. I used to raise all the questions on Islam that came to my mind and discuss them with the Muslim people I met. At that time, I also began to take interest in the history of my town that had wide fame during the era of the Islamic State in Andalusia. I knew that most of its people were Muslims before it was regained by Catholic kings in 1492, and that those kings annihilated Muslims and forced who remained alive to embrace Christianity.

As time passed and after a lot of inspection and contemplation, I became certain that Islam was the final heavenly message and that its magnanimous teachings get along with human nature besides being good for every time and place, for Islam came for life in this world and the hereafter. I realized that I have become a Muslim, and I was convinced that Allah has guided me to the Right Faith.

Afterwards, I began to frequent the Islamic Center in Granada where lectures on Islam were given; there I met my husband who gave lectures on Ethics and Fiqh (jurisprudence) in the center although he was a Medicine student.

Position of Family and Society

At first, I did not tell my family that I had become a Muslim, but they noticed that something within me has changed. In the beginning, I did not dare to wearhijab for fear of their reaction. I used to wear it when I went to the Islamic Center and when I visited my Muslim friends. After that, I used to keep it on everywhere except for the neighborhood where I lived. However, my parents knew about that from the neighbors. My father did not oppose my conversation to Islam saying that I had the right and freedom to choose the faith I wanted; and so did my mother, but at first she opposed my wearing thehijab , especially as she had been subjected to enormous pressures, for the audiovisual media fights Islam violently, and the Spanish society can take everything, even the worst immoral acts, so if you are a Muslim it means that you are a terrorist, reactionary, besides the other false charges leveled against Muslims in an expression of hatred.

As for my sister, she got very angry and was ashamed to walk with me because I wore the Islamic attire, but now she understands me and respects my decision.

As for the other people in the neighborhood, they chattered a lot and made offensive remarks, but I did not care.

In the university where I studied nursing, I faced no problem with the students or the administration, for they respected my will to do what I did. Then I worked as a nurse in a public hospital for ten years with no problem worth mentioning.

Q. What are the positive things that happened to you after you had embraced Islam at the personal level and as far as your relationships with others are concerned?

A. At the personal level, I feel considerable relief; my thoughts are now clear, and so is my goal in life. I got rid of the intellectual and psychological unrest that had haunted me before I converted to Islam. I have landed on a safe shore. I thank Allah that my family has accepted my conversion to Islam.

As for my relationships with people in motherland, they are limited. I get in touch with those who respect my Islam. I don’t care about those who are malicious towards Islam.

Q. What is your opinion about hijab and what some people say about it and how it is being fought?

A. Some people viewhijab as a minor issue that should not be given all this interest and believe that it should not be observed. But in truthhijab is protection for the Muslim woman. It is a defense line for her as it forces her to take care of her actions, movements, choice of places she frequents, and selection of friends; so it prevents her from being absorbed by atmospheres that are far from religion and morals.

Q. What is the best way to invite people to Islam in your opinion?

A. The best way to do this is by action not words. A Muslim must be a model of the good human being in his country and society. His Islam must be a reflection of his good deeds.

Q. What are you doing now? Do you encourage non-Muslims to embrace Islam?

A. Currently I live in Lebanon with my husband and children, for it is difficult to raise the children in a non-Islamic society because they spend long time outside the house which makes them subject to being absorbed by Spanish society that is hostile to Islam and because a human being always tries to be like the group among which he lives in order to guarantee that they accept him.

As for inviting people to Islam, this is the duty of every Muslim. I reiterate, the best way to do this is by action not words.

Q. Is there a chance for inviting people to Islam in you motherland?

A: Chances are not null, but there is considerable difficulties to do so in light of the power of the anti-Islam media. This requires doubled efforts from those working in this regard.

Nevertheless, what is more important than this is that Muslims in Spain preserve their Islam and that of their children preventing them from melting into the Spanish society. This can be achieved only through opening Islamic schools and centers so that these children can be taught the teachings and values of Islam besides academic courses.

Russian Converted Sister

Dagina Kirkoz

● My conversion to Islam is reflected as psychological tranquility which I have known after I began to communicate with Allah, a gift I had not been enjoying before that.

● The Muslim woman must be aware and cautious in order not to be turned into merchandise by the media.

● I hope that all Muslims show the pure image of Islam which is being fought ferociously by its enemies.

You can feel transparency, sincerity and tranquility as she talks about her conversion to Islam... Dognia Kirkoz, who was born in Latvia, is one of those who have joined the convoy of Divine Light: she is reassured and satisfied thanking Allah - praised be His name - Who has guided her to Islam.

She did not suffice herself with the Nursing Diploma from the University of Latvia; she felt it was necessary for her to learn Arabic; the language of the Quran and Islam, although she is a mother of two girls.

She has felt the overwhelming desire to acquire knowledge of the bases of her faith and its rulings, so she is attending Arabic classes in an institute in Beirut.

Q. How many members are there in your family? And how was your relationship with them before you embraced Islam?

A. My family includes my father, mother, and my elder sister. My parents worked all day long, and sometimes at night. This made my sister and me shoulder the household responsibilities. Our parents’ long absence from the house made our emotional ties to them cold, although my mother tried to be close to us urging us to learn, acquire culture, and engage in school activities.

Q. Were there specific values that ruled in your town?

A. We were brought up in the small town of Madonna Latvia. Although the town was small, individualism governed the residents’ lives; everyone lived in semi-isolation. There were a lot of quarrels among family members due to the parents’ using alcohol and the resulting terrible fights that usually end up in divorce and family disintegration.

Q. It is known that the communist regime has left its marks on the intellectual and cultural life in the former USSR. To what extent did this affect your educational milieu?

A. This is true. The communist regime’s ideology influenced the intellectual and cultural life, including the educational system. The political regime had activities in all schools and universities. You had to join the party’s scouts, or you would be looked at with suspicion and caution.

However, my mother believed in Christianity. She used to take us to church, and we felt threatened by the regime for going there. Communist thoughts found their way into my sister’s mind, so she started to contradict my mother’s faith and thoughts, and my mother started to listen secretly to anti- USSR radio stations.

Q. What are the circumstances that led you to embrace Islam?

A. My attention was drawn by the Muslim students, and how they dealt with others politely and ethically. Besides, they were serious in studying, and they undertook the responsibilities of their alienation and schooling with seriousness contrary to the other young men and women in the university who indulged in the life’s pleasures.

It also drew my attention that they did not use alcohol or go to notorious night clubs. My husband was one of them. I admired Islam more as I - along with my family - saw how he treated me and all those around him in line with Islamic ethics.

My husband was the wide door through which I entered Islam, for he answered all my questions about this new faith. He has convinced my mind and not only my emotion.

Q. What were the reactions in your community to your conversion to Islam?

A. When my relatives knew that I had been married to a Muslim, they felt pity for me thinking that I would face a doomed fate. However, there were others who respected my decision. My parents were pleased with my marriage, for they rejected atheism and my faith in Allah - praised be His name - meant a lot to them since they rejected the communist ideology. They admired Islam more as they saw how my husband treated me - in line with Allah’s orders - politely, patiently and kindly.

As for my friends, they thought I was forced to embrace Islam and wearhijab , because they believed thathijab lowers the woman and makes her a maid and prisoner of her husband. They did not believe that my husband had not forced me to do anything, and that my acts were the result of my full conviction.

Q. What were the positive results of your conversion to Islam?

A. The major thing that was reflected on my life after my conversion to Islam was the psychological tranquility that I have known since I began to communicate with Allah - be He exalted - through my religious duties. I feel great relief when I perform the prayer or fast. I have found myself in a social life that is remote from individualism for Islam invites us to visit our relatives and neighbors and to check if they have any problems be it in good times or bad times.

Q. Do you suggest specific means to invite non-Muslims to Islam in light of your experience?

A. The enemies of Islam are using all their resources to distort the image of Islam. That is why you find that ordinary non-Muslims are afraid of Islam. Therefore, those who seek to serve this monotheist faith need to show its reality and clear its image through satellite channels and internet in foreign languages as much as possible.

Q. After you came to Lebanon, have you ever returned to Latvia, and has the position of your relatives and friends remained the same?

A. I have visited my motherland. My relatives and friends were greatly surprised as they felt that I was happy after I converted to Islam and in my new homeland. I clarified to them a lot of the faith teachings stressing on the social aspects because this side is missing in my town. And as for those who do not enjoy a great deal of thought and education, I chose to speak to them in a simple language that they could understand.

Q. Is it possible to invite people to Islam in Latvia?

A. The Latvian state has allowed the Muslim minority to build its first mosque which needs preachers and imams to guide the people, for Muslims in Latvia know only a little about their faith. It is difficult for those people to invite non-Muslims to Islam as those who lack something cannot give it. Thus, it is the duty of theUlama throughout the Muslim world to prepare preachers in Latvia and elsewhere in the world. The Eastern and Western Europeans view Islam with contempt and disdain; the politicians there sense its threat because of its universal message. Therefore, all Muslims have to be concerned with invitation to Islam in word and deed.

Q. How do you view the Muslim woman in your new homeland, Lebanon?

A. I see that most of the women here are absorbed by the details of the house chores and do not take interest in what is taking place in the society, although Islam has permitted them to go out of the house, work, and study in a manner that does not contradict their marital or motherhood duties.

The Muslim woman has to be aware and cautious; she must not be attracted by the media that tries to make her a merchandise; she has to acquire knowledge about Islam and finish schooling, because the educated mother is better than the ignorant. Her face is the face of the country, and she is the one supposed to prepare the children, so that they do what pleases Allah - be He exalted.

Q. Is there a comment that you would like to address to Muslims through the magazine of Noor Al- Islam?

A: I hope that all Muslims show the pure image of Islam for the faith is being fought ferociously by its enemies. I pray to Allah to remedy the Muslims’ inner and outer selves so that the deeds and words become identical, and praise is Allah’s, the Lord of the worlds.

The American Muslim Sister:

Zaynab Shareef

Zaynab Shareef « Ann Marie » ,is pursuing a master’s degree in psychology and community counseling, BS in Science, and minor in Biology (with a concentration in education and psychology). She has a Medical Assistant Associate Degree. She works as a Program Director and a Child Care Administrator in the USA.

Q. Why did you embrace Islam?

A. I was working with refugee children and had not practiced any organized religion since I was 18 years old. I had turned away from my faith because of a deep feeling that it was not right. I believed in God, but I did not believe that Jesus was God. I had been raised as a strict Catholic and had problems with the role of the priest as« Christ » on earth. When I met these children and their families I was impressed with the total obligation of faith; it was not something that existed for just one hour per week. It rather was in everything and in every part of the life. Then I bought an English interpretation of the Holy Quran and read Surah al-Rad. This changed me forever and opened my eyes.

Q. What about your social environment and upbringing before embracing Islam?

I was divorced from my husband and am raising two daughters alone. I did not participate in the comings and goings of society. I was dedicated to my daughters and the work that I was doing with children in early childhood education. I was also attending college.

I was raised as a Catholic - a strict Catholic. I grew up next door to a church and lived with my grandmother (who was handicapped from a stroke). I helped her and went to Catholic schools, including an all-girl high school. We were taught to respect ourselves and give our lives to God.

Q. How did you embrace Islam? And what was the impact of your embracing of Islam on your milieu?

A. My family of origin - my mother and my father - has had a hard time still with accepting the change in me. They would be quite happy if I do not cover my head, because then I would blend in with the rest of our society. We are very distant, but they see the strength that this has brought me. I am blessedAlhamdulillah to have a good job. I am an administrator at a large child care center for the YMCA. I am free to cover my head and worship as I please. They respect my faith and my observances. It has not always been that way, but someone told me once if I have peace about what I do, so will others. I have had more problems with Muslims who did not revert, judged me harshly, and told me things that were wrong when I first reverted. There is a lot of ugliness in people, and I had to learn to be more assertive in questioning their statements and also to check on the validity of what they were telling me. I sometimes think that those who were handed this faith and this way of life - those who were set on this path at birth - don’t understand why we choose it, because they don’t understand the beauty in it or can’t see the beauty in it and the way of life that the Holy Prophets, the Imams (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them) and The Holy Quran call us to live.

Q. What are the tangible positive changes in your life since you adopted Islam?

A. I have found peace inside myself. I have attained greater things. I returned to school to continue my education and have built a stable life (Inshallah ) for my daughters. I have found peace inside my heart and out.Alhamdulillah ! I have also learned just how strong I can be when I walk the path of lslam!

Q. On the personal level, do you feel more peaceful, secure, and relieved?

A. Yes,Alhamdulillah . I am more relieved and I find peace in my prayers, in fasting, and in my practice, and yet, I have so much to learn- so very much! For all that I have learned there is a massive amount I have yet to learn; it is just a molecule in a universe of knowledge. Life is so short, and there is so much to learn!

Q. On the social relationship level, do you feel the difference between your relations with Muslims and those with non-Muslims in past?

A. I have met some absolutely faithful people who have walked the path and do it with the grace goodness that should be there. I wish I could say that all the Muslims I have met have been good people, but this a very bad world, and it is easy to be tempted to do wrong and practice« gheebah » and other sins. I wish that Muslims were as good as The Quran tells us to be. Non-Muslims respect me more, and so many have been so supportive.Inshallah , Allah leads me to more good Muslims and less bad!

Q. Based on your own experience, do you suggest any specific methods to call non-Muslims to Islam?

A. Yes, that is possible through practicing what I preach, remembering Allah in all that I do, and remembering what the Prophet Mohammad and the Holy Imams (Allah’s blessings on them all) told us to do and how to act and behave! Speak softly, be at peace, and carry a strong faith!

Q. What is the role you are personally assuming or the role you intend to assume in serving the Islamic Call?

A.Inshallah , I will be the best Muslim I can be. That is all that I wish to be. I am at Allah’s beck and call.Inshallah , I won’t let Him down.

Q. What are the potentials and prospects of the Islamic Call in your country?

A. Islam can save my country from the downward slope it is on. It can save us from the base instincts that man has enslaved him to. Islam can pull one back from the brim of hell and lead him to Jannah. But it entails fully surrendering one’s self to the will of Allah and to follow the guidance of our Prophet Mohammad and his Ahlul Bayt (peace and blessing on them). It can be done, and it is up to every Muslim everywhere to live his life as an example on how we can enrich the world through our actions and our submission to the will of Allah and the requirements of our faith.Alhamdulillah , Allah has given us a key to heaven; all we have to do is to use it and to work for it in all that we do.

Q. How do you view Muslims’ current state of affairs?

A. I pray every day in every way that Muslims will live up to the legacy that we have been chosen to carry.Inshallah , we will find the courage, the wisdom, and the discipline to follow Prophet Mohammad and his Ahlul Bayt (PBT). But it is hard work, and many are lazy and want to enjoy this life. They sacrifice eternal life for the pleasure in this one, and this will be the doom of our people. Each of us must set the highest standard for ourselves first and for others second. We must sacrifice all that we are for what we can become; but we are so attached to the pleasure of this world that we become easily blinded.

Q. What is your view to the state of Muslim women?

A. I teach my daughters that they are precious and that they should not give themselves away a penny at a time. Women should hold what they are: the key to the future and the mothers of tomorrow. They are sacred and should insist on the respect and consideration that is their due. It is up to all Muslim men to protect the women and for women to transcend and become powerful over everything including the ignorance of all the cultures that tend to corrupt the truth and beauty that Allah has told us regarding our roles as providers, as harbors of life, love, comfort, and joy.