Alhassanain(p) Network for Heritage and Islamic Thought

Alhassanain (p) Network for Islamic Heritage and Thought

Children in the Qur’an and Sunnah

This book is an authentic collection of Ayahs of Qur'an and over 500 Hadiths on children. The topics include preparations by parents before the birth of child, taking their care after birth and naming them to the detailed description of utmost care in the training of children from Islamic perspective.

Author(s): Ayatullah Muhammadi Rayshahri

Publisher(s): Dar al-Hadith Publications

www.alhassanain.org/english

Table of Contents

Introduction 7

Note 9

Section 1: The Foundations of Upbringing a Child 10

Introduction 11

1- Organising a Meritorious Family 11

Population Control from the Viewpoint of Islam 11

2- The Role of Heredity 11

3- The Role of the Parents’ Food 12

4- The role of the Method of Copulation 12

Note 12

Chapter 1: Family 13

1.1: The Forming of a Family 13

1.2: Seeking to have a Child 13

1.3: The Virtue of a Righteous Child 15

1.4: The Believers’ Offspring will be with them in Heaven 16

1.5: The Virtue of Tolerating the Troubles of a Child 16

1.6: Abundant Children 17

1.7: The Virtue of Girls 18

1.8: The Reward of Upbringing Girls 18

1. 9: Taking Care of Daughters 19

1.10: The Censure of Disliking Girls 19

1.11: The Bane of Having a Bad Child 20

1.12: Beseeching Allah for a Righteous Family 21

Notes 22

Chapter 2: Heredity 24

2.1: Blood is Contagious 24

2.2: The Role of Heredity in the Creation of a Child 24

2.3: The Role of Heredity in the Behaviour of a Child 26

2.4: The Role of Marrying Relatives 27

Notes 28

Chapter 3: The Food of the Parents 29

3.1: The Role of Unlawful Food in a Newborn 29

3.2: The Role of the Father’s Food in his Child 30

3.3: The Role of a Pregnant Woman’s Food on the Foetus 30

3.4: The Role of a Mother’s Food on the Newborn 32

Notes 33

Chapter 4: The Forming of the Life-germ 35

4.1: The Effects of being Born Pure 35

4.2: The Effects of Impure Birth 36

4.3: The Harm of Copulating with a Woman during her Menses 37

4.4: The Blessings of Supplicating During Intercourse 38

4.5: The Role of the Conditions on the Formation of the Life-germ 40

Notes 41

Section 2: The Rights of Children 43

Introduction 44

1- Honouring the Birth 44

2- Bathing the Newborn 44

3- Reciting Adhan and Iqamah in the Newborn’s ears 44

4- Feeding the Newborn for the First Time 45

5- Choosing a Good Name 45

6- Shaving the Newborn’s Head 46

7- To Offer a Sacrifice for the Newborn 46

8- Circumcision of the Baby 46

Notes 47

Chapter 1: The Rights of a Newborn 48

1.1: Honouring the Birth 48

1.2: Washing the Newborn 49

1.3: Reciting Adhan and Iqamah in the Newborn’s ears 49

1.4: The First Feeding 50

1.5: Naming 51

A- Choosing a Good Name 51

B- Choosing a Name before the Birth 52

C- The Ahlul Bayt’s Tradition in Naming 52

D- The Best of Names and the Rights of Some of Them 52

E- Inappropriate Names 57

F- The reason for the Reproaching of Certain Names 57

1.6: Shaving the Head 58

1.7: Giving an Offering for a Child 58

1.8: Circumcision 60

Notes 62

Chapter 2: The Rights of a Suckling Infant 65

1- Suitable Nutrition 65

2- Respecting the Feelings 65

2.1: Being Breastfed from the Mother’s Milk, if Possible 65

A) The virtue of breastfeeding the infant 65

B) The Blessing of the Mother’s Milk 66

C) The Duration of Nursing 66

2.2: Choosing a Righteous Wet-nurse to Breastfeed 67

2.3: Those Who Should not Be Asked for Suckling 67

2.4: Feeding the Child Beneficial Foods 68

2.5: Respecting the Infant’s Feelings 68

Notes 70

Chapter 3: Education 71

3.1: The Value of Seeking Knowledge at a Young Age 71

3.2: The Value of Upbringing 72

3.3: The Responsibility of Education and Upbringing 73

3.4: The Most Important Obligatory Thing to Teach 74

A- Islamic beliefs, monotheism in particular 74

B- Love of the Prophet and his Household 75

C- Obligatory acts, especially prayer and fasting 75

D- The Qur’an 79

E- Religious Sciences 80

F- Writing 81

G- Hygiene 81

H- Moral Wisdoms 82

I - Useful Poems 84

The Function of Poetry in a Child’s Education and Upbringing 85

J- Swimming and Archery 86

3.5: The Age of Upbringing and Disciplining a Child 87

3.6: The Method of Islamic Upbringing 88

A- Honouring, Gentleness, Sympathy and Love 88

B- Strictness and Uncompromising 90

C- Practical Disciplining 92

An Analysis on the Methods of Upbringing Children 92

1- The upbringing method based on strictness 92

2- The upbringing method based on kindness and lack of strictness 93

3- The upbringing method based on lack of kindness and lack of strictness 93

4- The upbringing method based on affection and decisiveness 93

5- The upbringing method based on love, strictness and dignity 93

3.7: The Banes of Upbringing 94

A) Excessiveness in love 94

B) Excessiveness in reprimanding 95

C) Disciplining at a time of anger 95

D) Harshness 95

3.8: Sex Education 96

A) Separating beds 96

B) Avoidance of looking at the private parts of the child and the child looking at those of others 97

C) The permissible limit of kissing a boy and a girl 97

D) Asking Permission for Entering the Parents’ Room 98

F) The Danger of a Child Seeing his Parents Copulate 100

Some Words about Sex Education 100

Necessary Planning for Sexual Chastity 101

A- Covering the private parts 101

B- The reproach of a child being kissed by a non-mahram 101

C- Reproaching the playing with a child’s private parts 102

D- Separation of beds 102

E- Hiding any sexual contact of the parents from the children 102

Notes 103

Chapter 4: The Ethics of Upbringing 109

4.1: Encouragement of the Loving of Children and Having Sympathy to Them 109

4.2: The Prophet’s Conduct in Kindness to Children and Dignifying Them 111

4.3: Greeting Children 112

4.4: Reproaching the Disliking of Children 113

4.5: The Boundaries of Love to Children 114

4.6: Justice Between Children 116

Being Just Between Children 118

4.7: Fulfilling a Promise 119

Fulfilling Promises and its Function in the Upbringing of Children 120

4.8: Bringing Happiness 121

Notes 125

Chapter 5: Ornamentation and Playing 127

5.1: Ornamenting Children 127

5.2: Praising the Playfulness of Children 127

5.3: Allowing a Child to Play 128

5.4: Acting in a Childish Manner for Children And Playing with Them 132

5.5: The Children’s Entertainment Place 133

The Function of Playing in the Growth of a Child 134

The Importance of Playing from a Psychological Viewpoint 134

1- The Physical Importance 134

2- The Psychological Importance 134

3-The Upbringing Importance 134

4-The Social Importance 135

5-The Educational Importance 135

6-The Moral Importance 135

A Psychological Analysis of Playing 135

A- The Theory of Extra Power 135

B- The Theory of Removing Tension 135

C- The Theory of Evolving Renewal 135

D- The Attitude of Pre-exercise 135

The Age of Playing 136

The Parents Playing with the Child 136

Notes 137

Chapter 6: Supplication 139

6.1: Encouraging Supplication for Children 139

6.2: Reproaching of Supplicating Against the Children 139

6.3: The Supplication of Imam al-Sajjad (a.s.) for his Children 140

Notes 143

Section 3: The Child’s Duties 144

Chapter 1: The Individual Duties of a Child 145

1.1: Observing Discipline in the Affairs 145

1.2: Cleanliness 145

1.3: Washing hands before and after Food 146

1.4: Brushing the Teeth 146

1.5: Washing Hands before Sleeping 146

1.6: Cutting Nails 147

Notes 148

Chapter 2: The Children’s Duties towards their Parents 149

2.1: The Importance of the Rights of Parents 149

2.2: The Rights of Parents 150

A) Doing Good 150

B) Standing up to Show Reverence 151

C) Submissiveness at the Time of Anger 151

D) Avoiding Disobedience 152

2.3: General Rights of Parents 153

2.4: The Benefits of Doing Good to Parents 154

Notes 155

Chapter 3: The Child’s Duties Towards His Teacher 157

3.1: Obedience 157

3.2: Honouring 157

3.3: Lowering the Voice 158

3.4: Avoidance of Belittling 158

Notes 159

Chapter 4: The Child’s Duties Towards Elders and Friends 160

4.1: Initiating with Greeting 160

4.2:Observing Rights 160

An explanation about a child greeting elders 160

4.3: Taking the Elders as Examples 161

4.4: Fulfilling Needs 161

4.5: Honouring 162

4.6: Assisting 162

4.7: Sharing 163

4.8:Maintaining Friendship 163

4.9: Good Interaction 163

4.10: Good Remembrance 164

4.11: Advice and Goodwill 164

4.12: Presenting the Defect as a Gift 165

4.13: Ignoring Faults 165

4.14: Avoidance of Scorning 166

4.15: Avoiding Hurting Others 166

Notes 167

Introduction

“Our Lord! Grant us comfort in our spouses and descedents, and make us imams of the Godwary.” 1

There is a natural desire in all human beings in wanting to have a worthy child, as all people wish to have healthy and righteous children. They are the light of the eyes and mirth of the soul of their parents. Indeed, even deplorable persons like their children to be good and commendable.

However, the motivation of those who have derived their teachings from the Glorious Qur’an is more intense in fulfilling this natural wish. Not only do they want their children to be good and worthy, but they also want their children within their family to become leaders and examples for all good people. Such people supplicate to Allah the Merciful through this verse in the holy Qur’an:

“Our Lord! Grant us comfort in our spouses and descedents, and make us imams of the Godwary.” (Qur’an, 25:74)

The important question is how can this lofty wish be obtained and how can the grounds for the acceptance of this supplication for children be met.

In answer, bringing up a worthy child is based on three main principles. They are:

1. A righteous family

2. Observing the rights of the child

3. The child having knowledge of his/her responsibilities

This book ‘Children in the Qur’an and Sunnah’ is dedicated in presenting the guidance and recommendations of the holy Qur’an and the great leaders of Islam regarding these principles, and it is divided into three sections.

The first section contains four chapters which are on the responsibilities of the Islamic society in relation to the establishment of a laudable family, the role of heredity in the happiness of a child, the role of nutrition of the father and mother in the health and happiness of the child, and the role of the formation of the foetus in the mother’s womb for the future life of the child as explained by the leaders of Islam.

Section two introduces the rights of a child from an Islamic viewpoint, and this section is divided into six chapters.

The first chapter is about the rights of an infant. These rights include: 1) Honouring the birth of the child; 2) The ritual bath of birth; 3) Reciting the Adhan in the right ear of the child and the Iqamah in the left ear; 4) Giving the newborn a taste of the water of FurÁt and the soil of Karbala; 5) Choosing a good name for the child; 6) Shaving the child’s head and donating the weight of its hair in gold or silver, 7) The slaughtering of an animal; 8) Circumcision.

The second chapter is about the rights of a suckling infant. This chapter deals with the child’s nutrition from its mother’s milk or the milk of an appropriate wet-nurse, and the necessity of respecting a child’s feelings.

The third chapter explains the child’s upbringing, being his most important right, then the importance of the child’s education and the responsibilities of the Islamic government and the families in this regard is explained, along with the most important aspect of this discussion, which is the method of upbringing a child.

Chapter four deals with the ethics of the upbringing of children, such as: being kind to them, respecting and greeting them, being just between them, fulfilling promises made to them and making them happy.

The fifth chapter turns the upbringer’s attention to the role of the child’s outer appearance, his sense of beauty, his desire to play and how these things lead to the enhancement of his growth.

The sixth chapter emphasizes on supplicating for children and refraining from cursing them and the role it has in their upbringing along with the parent’s program of raising them. This is why it is referred to as one of the rights of a child. The supplication of Imam al-Sajjad (a.s.) for his children that is mentioned at the end of this chapter is a worthy guide for Muslim families.

The third section explains the duties of a child. It is incumbent upon a qualified trainer that along with fulfilling the duties mentioned in sections one and two, he/she must provide the grounds for children to adopt a sense of responsibility.

This section which is divided into four chapters speaks about the personal duties of a child, and his duties in relation to his parents, his teachers, those older than him and his friends.

The targeted readers of this book ‘Children in the Qur’an and the Sunnah’ are families, upbringers, trainers and researchers of children education, and so children themselves are not the direct addressees in this compilation.

Another important point is that diligent attempts were made to combine in this work the most important teachings of the Qur’an and Islamic traditions in the field of upbringing and education of children. Important commentaries and necessary explanations have been added in particular places.

Without doubt, commentating on each of these guidelines would need the compiling of independent books in different fields of children’s upbringing. Therefore, this collection can be a valuable cultural source for those interested in the field of children’s education.

In conclusion, I would like to sincerely thank all my respected colleagues at the ‘Íadith Sciences and Studies Institute’ for assisting me in the compiling and research of this valuable compilation, in particular, the esteemed scholar Mr. Abbas Pasandideh and his cooperation in compiling the book.

I would also like to gratefully thank the eminent scholar Hujjatul-Islam Sheikh Muhammad Sharif Mahdavi for supervising the project along with comparing and reviewing the text and Mr. Zaid Alsalami for editing this work and assisting him in this task.

I beseech Allah the Beneficent with His Mercy to bestow upon them all a reward.

“Our Lord! Accept it from us! Indeed You are the All-hearing, the All-knowing.”

Muhammad Muhammadi Rayshahri

20 Jamadi al-Thani, 1430 A.H.

[The Birth Anniversary of Fatimah al-Zahra (s.a.)]

14 June, 2009

Note

1. Qur’an, 25:74.

Section 1: The Foundations of Upbringing a Child

Introduction

Chapter One: Family

Chapter Two: Heredity

Chapter Three: The Food of the Parents

Chapter Four: The Formation of the Life-germ

Introduction

The family is the first main pillar for the raising of a good child. The foundation of the personality of a child is formed in the family environment, and for this reason the child’s rights upon the family are divided into two parts: the rights before the birth of the child and the rights after birth.

Based on this principle, the responsibility of parents towards the child from the viewpoint of Islam begins prior to birth. So, even before the birth, the child has rights upon the parents, and if not observed, the effects of a child’s upbringing and education will decrease.

The recommendations given by the leaders of Islam in this regard are explained in the first section of this book through four chapters.

1- Organising a Meritorious Family

In the first chapter while explaining the value of wanting to have children and the importance of forming a family, emphasis has been put on the fact that the sex of a child is not important, whether being a male or a female. The important thing is the health and merit of a child, and since newborn girls had mostly been treated unkindly, the predecessors of Islam strongly recommended treating them with extra affection and grace.

The Holy Qur’an has clearly said that in the Hereafter the believing children will join their family in Paradise, and thereby families who raise meritorious children are admired and encouraged.

On the contrary, the Islamic traditions have seriously warned against the danger of unworthy children, introducing them as the worst afflictions of a family.

Population Control from the Viewpoint of Islam

Pondering on the above-mentioned, it becomes clear that the purpose of the traditions that encourage Muslims to have more children is to arrange a program for producing as many healthy and righteous children as possible in order to create an exemplary society. In this case, not only does Islam oppose the control of the growth of population, but it supports the increase of the population of a Godly society. However, in the conditions brought about by economical difficulties and cultural corruption where families do not have the ability to raise qualified children, the increase of children is not desirable and there is a need for family planning to control the population.

Therefore, according to the instructions of the leaders of Islam, the Islamic government and the Muslim families are obliged to organise their programs aimed to increase the population based on their economic and cultural abilities. If it is not possible to upbring righteous people and have an increase in population at the same time, it is preferred to prevent polulation growth and give priority to the upbringing of righteous children.

2- The Role of Heredity

The second chapter explains the positive and negative roles of heredity in the development of the personality of the child as mentioned by the leaders of Islam. Accordingly, not only does the child inherit the outside features of its parents, but it also inherits their psychological and innate characteristics (such as bravery, generosity, and good temper).

A noteworthy point is that according to Islamic traditions, the mothers play a greater role than the fathers in this regard. Therefore, those who seek to raise healthy, strong, handsome and righteous children must be more mindful in choosing their wives.

3- The Role of the Parents’ Food

Chapter three explains the role the parents’ food intake has in the future of the child. The most important advice the leaders of Islam have in this regard is warning against the destructive role of consuming unlawful food. The foetus that originates from the consumption of unlawful food will lead to the deviation and aberration of the child. The families who desire happiness for their children must avoid eating prohibited food. Such precautions regarding food must be specifically observed by mothers during their pregnancy, and mothers should not even participate in any feast whose food is doubtful.

Moreover, the consumption of certain kinds of food and fruits is recommended for fathers and mothers prior to the formation of the foetus, throughout the period of pregnancy and after giving birth.

4- The role of the Method of Copulation

According to Islam, lawful and unlawful sexual relations have a fundamental role in the positive and negative characteristics of a child. From the viewpoint of the Prophet of Islam (s.a.w.), the first Divine bounty given to a person is the legitimacy and purity of birth. Many of the social vices are the results of the transgression of unlawful birth. This does not mean that illegitimately born children can never choose the correct path of life, even though without doubt choosing the correct path is difficult for them.

The fourth chapter of this section mentions the positive effects of legitimacy of birth in the formation of the personality of the child and the warnings against illegitimate births. In addition to this, for the felicity of the future of the children, it is recommended that parents be mindful of this at the time of sexual intercourse. At the end of the chapter, some traditions will be mentioned about the role of the states and particular times of sexual intercourse and its effects in the future of the child.1

Note

1. It must be noted that the authenticity of such narrations is weak; however the weakness of the chain of narrators does not indicate that they have not been issued by the Infallibles (a.s.). Therefore, since these traditions have been quoted in authentic sources, they have been mentioned at the end of this chapter for the awareness of families.