Chapter 4: The Ethics of Upbringing
4.1: Encouragement of the Loving of Children and Having Sympathy to Them
325. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Allah will write a reward for he who kisses his child, and Allah will bring happiness on Judgement Day to he who makes his child happy, and he who teaches his child the Qur’an, his parents will be called upon [in the Hereafter] and they will be clothed with two garments with light which will brighten the faces of the people of Heaven.”
326. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“If a person makes his crying child so pleased that he becomes silent, Allah will grant that person so much bounties of Heaven until he becomes pleased.”
327. al-Tabaqat al-Kubra, narrating from Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah, from his uncle, who said:“He used to visit the Prophet (s.a.w.) along with his son and would make him sit in front of him (s.a.w.). Once, the Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Do you love him?”
The man said:“Yes, very much.”
Later that boy passed away and the Prophet (s.a.w.) told the man:“It seems that you have become sad upon his death, have you not?”
The man said:“Yes, I have, O Messenger of Allah!”
He (s.a.w.) said:“Will you not be happy when Allah admits you in Heaven and you will find your son at one of the doors of Paradise which he will open for you?”
The man answered:“Yes.”
He (s.a.w.) said:“Verily you will be in such a state, by the will of Allah.”
328. Tarikh Dimashq, narrating from Wathilah ibn al-Asqaa’ who said:“The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) went to ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un who had a child with him that he had kissed, and the Prophet (s.a.w.) said to him: “‘Uthman, do you love him?”
He answered:“By Allah, yes I do love him, O Messenger of Allah.”
He (s.a.w.) said:“Do you want me to increase your love for him?”
‘Uthman said:“Yes. May my parents be your ransom!”
He (s.a.w.) said:“Indeed he who makes a child from his generation pleased so that he becomes happy, Allah will make him pleased on Judgment Day until he becomes happy.”
329. Hilyah al-Awliya, narrating from Anas who said:“A woman went to visit ‘A’ishah along with her two children and ‘A’ishah gave three dates to her and she gave each of her children one date. They ate their own date and then started looking at their mother. She took the [remaining] date and cut it in half and gave half to one child and the second half to the other. The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) arrived and ‘A’ishah informed him of the event, and the Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Why are you surprised from this action? Verily Allah will shower His mercy upon her for the sake of her mercy to her two children.”
330. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“Allah will be merciful to His servant for his intense love to his child.”
331. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“Musa ibn ‘Imran
(a.s.) said: “O Lord! Which act do You consider to be the best?”
Allah Almighty said:“The loving of children, for I have created them with their conviction in My Unity, and if I make them die, I will admit them into Paradise with My mercy.”
الحَثُّ عَلى حُبِّ الأَوْلادِ وَالشَّفَقَةِ بِهِم
325. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن قَبَّلَ وَلَدَهُ كَتَبَ اللهُ عزّ وجلّ لَهُ حَسَنَةً، ومَن فَرَّحَهُ فَرَّحَهُ اللهُ يَومَ القِيامَةِ، ومَن عَلَّمَهُ القُرآنَ دُعِيَ بِالأبَوَينِ فَيُكسَيانِ حُلَّتَينِ يُضيءُ مِن نورِهِما وُجوهُ أهلِ الجَنَّةِ
326. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن بَكى صَبِيّ لَهُ فَأرضاهُ حَتّى يُسَكِّنَهُ، أعطاهُ اللهُ عزّ وجلّ مِنَ الجَنَّةِ حَتّى يَرضى
327. الطبقات الكبرى عن معاوية بن قرّة عن عمّه: أنَّهُ كانَ يَأتي النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وآله بِابنِهِ فَيُجلِسُهُ بَينَ يَدَيهِ. فَقالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُ صلى الله عليه وآله تُحِبُّهُ؟ قالَ: نَعَم، حُبّاً شَديداً. ثُمَّ إنَّ الغُلامَ ماتَ، فَقالَ لَهُ النَّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وآله: كَأَنَّكَ حَزِنتَ عَلَيهِ! قالَ: أجَل يا رسول الله
قالَ: أفَما يَسُرُّكَ إذا أدخَلَكَ اللهُ الجَنَّةَ أن تَجِدَهُ عَلى بابٍ مِن أبوابِها فَيَفتَحُهُ لَكَ؟ قالَ: بَلى
قالَ: فَإِنَّهُ كَذلِكَ إن شاءَ اللهُ
328. تاريخ دمشق عن واثلة بن الأسقع أنَّ رَسولَ الله صلى الله عليه وآله خَرَجَ عَلى عُثمانَ بنِ مَظعونٍ ومَعَهُ صَبِيّ لَهُ صَغيرٌ يَلثِمُهُ، فَقالَ: أتُحِبُّهُ يا عُثمانُ؟ !
قالَ: إي وَاللهِ يا رَسولَ اللهِ، إنِّي لَأُحِبُّهُ
قالَ: أفَلا أزِيدُكَ لَهُ حُبّاً؟ !
قالَ: بَلى، فِداكَ أبي وامِّي
قالَ: إنَّهُ مَن تَرَضَّى لَهُ صَغيراً مِن نَسلِهِ حَتّى يَرضى، تَرَضَّاهُ اللهُ يَومَ القِيامَةِ حَتّى يَرضى
329. حلية الأولياء عن أنس: أنَّ امرَأَةً دَخَلَت عَلى عائِشَةَ ومَعَها صَبِيّانِ لَها، فَأَعطَتها عائِشَةُ ثَلاثَ تَمراتٍ، فَأعطَت كُلَّ صَبِيّ مِنهما تَمرَةً، فَأكَلَ الصَّبِيّانِ تَمرَتَيهِما ثُمَّ نَظَرا إلى أُمِّهِما، فَأَخَذَتِ التَّمرَةَ فَشَقَّتها نِصفَينِ فَأَعطَت ذا نِصفاً وذا نِصفاً
فَدَخَلَ النَّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وآله فَأَخَبَرَتهُ عائِشَةُ، فَقالَ لَها النَّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وآله: ما أعجَبَكِ مِن ذلِكَ؟ فَإِنَّ اللهَ قَد رَحِمَها بِرَحمَتِها صَبِيَّيها
330. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: إنَّ اللهَ لَيَرحَمُ العَبدَ لِشِدَّةِ حُبِّهِ لِوَلَدِهِ
331. عنه عليه السلام: قالَ موسَى بنُ عِمرانَ عليه السلام: يا رَبِّ، أيُ الأعمالِ أفضَلُ عِندَكَ؟
فَقالَ: حُبُّ الأَطفالِ، فَإِنِّي فَطَرتُهُم عَلى تَوحيدي، فَإِن أَمَتُّهُم أدخَلتُهُم بِرَحمَتِي جَنَّتي
4.2: The Prophet’s Conduct in Kindness to Children and Dignifying Them
332. Musnad Ibn Hanbal, narrating from Walid ibn ‘Aqabah who said:“When the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) conquered Mecca, the people of Mecca came to him with their children and he patted them over their heads and prayed for them.”
333. Sahih Muslim, narrating from ‘Amr ibn Sa’id from Anas ibn Malik who said:“I never saw someone more affectionate to his family than the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.). Ibrahim [the Prophet’s son] had a wet-nurse in ‘Awali in Medina and the Prophet (s.a.w.) used to go there and we would accompany him. He entered the house and the wet-nurse who was a servant had burnt incense that gave the house a sweet scent. The Prophet (s.a.w.) would pick Ibrahim up, kiss him and go back home.
‘Amr said: “When Ibrahim passed away, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: “Ibrahim was my son, though he died while he was still a suckling infant, but he has two wet-nurses in Heaven who completed his suckling period.”
334. Sahih Muslim, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn Ja’far who said:“Whenever the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) returned from a journey, he would first visit the children of his family.”
335. Musnad Ibn Hanbal, narrating from ‘Urwah who said:“When the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) returned from a journey, he would be received by the children.”
336. al-Mahajjah al-Bayda’:“When the Prophet (s.a.w.) returned from a journey and children would meet him, the Prophet (s.a.w.) would stop for their sake and then he would ask them to climb on his back. Some of them climbed from the front of him and others from his back. He (s.a.w.) also ordered his companions to carry the rest of the children. It happened that after this event the children boasted and said to each other: “The Prophet of Allah carried me in his arms and carried you on his back”
, and others would say:“He told his companions to put you on their backs.”
337. al-Manaqib, narrating from Ibn Shahr Ashub, from ‘Abd al-‘Aziz in his chain of narrations from the Prophet (s.a.w.) that:“He (s.a.w.) was sitting down and Hasan and Husayn entered and when he saw them he stood up for them, but they were slow in arriving, so he went towards them to receive them and he carried them on his shoulders, saying: “What a good mount your mount is, and what good riders you are! And your father is better than you.”
سِيرَةُ النَّبِيّ فِي الشَّفَقَةِ بِالأطفالِ وتَكريمِهِم
332. مسند ابن حنبل عن الوليد بن عقبة: لَمّا فَتَحَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله مَكَّةَ، جَعَلَ أهلُ مَكَّةَ يَأتونَهُ بِصِبيانِهِم فَيَمسَحُ عَلى رُؤوسِهِم ويَدعو لَهُم
333. صحيح مسلم عن عمرو بن سعيد عن أنس: ما رَأيتُ أحَداً كانَ أرحَمَ بِالعِيالِ مِن رَسولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله، قالَ: كانَ إبراهيمُ مُستَرضَعاً لَهُ في عَوالي المَدينَةِ ، فَكانَ يَنطَلِقُ ونَحنُ مَعَهُ فَيَدخُلُ البَيتَ وإنَّهُ لَيُدَّخَنُ، وكانَ ظِئرُهُ قَيناً ، فَيَأخُذُهُ فَيُقَبِّلُهُ، ثُمَّ يَرجِعُ
قالَ عَمرٌو: فَلَمّا تُوُفِّيَ إبراهيمُ، قالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: إنَّ إبراهيمَ ابني، وإنَّه ماتَ في الثَّدي، وإنَّ لَهُ لَظِئرَينِ تُكمِلانِ رَضاعَهُ فِي الجَنَّةِ
334. صحيح مسلم عن عبد الله بن جعفر: كانَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله إذا قَدِمَ مِن سَفَرٍ تُلُقِّيَ بِصِبيانِ أهلِ بَيتِهِ
335. مسند ابن حنبل عن عروة: كانَ [رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله] يُستَقبَلُ بالصِّبيانِ إِذا جاءَ مِن سَفَرٍ
336. المحجّة البيضاء: كانَ صلى الله عليه وآله يَقدِمُ مِنَ السَّفَرِ فَيَتَلَقّاهُ الصِّبيانُ فَيَقِفُ لَهُم، ثُمَّ يَأمُرُ بِهِم فَيُرفَعونَ إِلَيهِ، فَيَرفَعُ مِنهُم بَينَ يَدَيهِ ومِن خَلفِهِ، ويَأمُرُ أصحابَهُ أن يَحمِلُوا بَعضَهُم، فَرُبَّما يَتَفاخَرُ الصِّبيانُ بَعدَ ذلِكَ فَيَقولُ بَعضُهُم لِبَعضٍ: حَمَلَنِي رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله بَينَ يَدَيهِ، وحَمَلَكَ أنتَ وَراءَهُ، ويَقولُ بَعضُهُم: أمَرَ أصحابَهُ أن يَحمِلوكَ وَراءَهُم
337. المناقب لابن شهر آشوب عن عبدالعزيز بإسناده عن النبيّ صلى الله عليه وآله: أنَّه كان جالساً فَأَقبَلَ الحَسَنُ وَالحُسَينُ عليهما السلام فَلَمّا رَآهُمَا النَّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وآله قامَ لَهُما وَاستَبطَأَ بُلوغَهُما إلَيهِ، فَاستَقبَلَهُما وحَمَلَهُما عَلى كَتِفَيهِ وقالَ: نِعمَ المَطِيُّ مَطِيُّكُما، ونِعمَ الرّاكِبانِ أَنتُما، وأبوكُما خَيرٌ مِنكُما
4.3: Greeting Children
338. Kanz al-Ummal, narrating from Anas who said:“Whenever the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) passed children, he would greet them.”
339. Sunan al-Tirmidhi, narrating from Anas who said:“I was with the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) when he passed by some children and he greeted them.”
340. Makarim al-Akhlaq, narrating from Anas who said:“When the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) met a group of children, he would greet them, even while he was in a hurry.”
341. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“There are five things that I will not leave doing until I die: Eating food on the ground with the servants, riding on a donkey that has a packsaddle, milking a goat with my own hands, wearing woollen clothes, and greeting children so that it becomes a tradition (sunnah) after me.”
342. Sahih ibn Habban, narrating from Anas who said:“The Prophet of Allah used to visit the Ansar, greet their children and pat their heads.”
التَّسليمُ عَلَى الصِّبيانِ
338. كنز العمّال عن أنس كانَ [صلى الله عليه وآله] يَمُرُّ بِالصِّبيانِ فَيُسَلِّمُ عَلَيهِم
339. سنن الترمذي عن أنس: كُنتُ مَعَ رَسولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله فَمَرَّ عَلَى صِبيانٍ فَسَلَّمَ عَلَيهِم
340. مكارم الأخلاق عن أنس: إنَّ رَسولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله مَرَّ عَلَى صِبيانٍ فَسَلَّمَ عَلَيهِم وهُوَ مُغِذٌّ
341. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: خَمسٌ لا أدَعُهُنَّ حَتَّى المَماتِ: الأكلُ عَلَى الحَضيضِ مَعَ العَبيدِ، ورُكوبِيَ الحِمارَ مُؤَكَّفاً ، وحَلبُ العَنزِ بِيَدي، ولُبسُ الصّوفِ، وَالتَّسليمُ عَلَى الصِّبيانِ؛ لِتَكونَ سُنَّةً مِن بَعدِي
342. صحيح ابن حبان عن أنس: أنَّ النبيَّ صلى الله عليه وآله: كانَ يَزورُ الأنصارَ ويُسَلِّمُ عَلى صِبيانِهِم ويَمسَحُ رُؤوسَهُم
4.4: Reproaching the Disliking of Children
343. Sahih Muslim, narrating from ‘A’ishah who said:“A group of Bedouins came to the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) and said: “Do you [Muslims] kiss your children?”
They [the Muslims] said:“Yes.”
Then the Bedouins said:“By Allah! We do not kiss them.”
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said:“What can I do if Allah has taken mercy away from your hearts?”
344. al-Adab al-Mufrad, narrating from Abu Hurayrah who said:“At the time when al-Aqra’ ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting at the presence of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), the Prophet kissed Hasan ibn ‘Ali al-Aqra’ said: “I have ten children, none of whom I have ever kissed.”
The Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) cast a glance at him and then said:“He who does not show compassion will not see compassion.”
345. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“A man once came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said: “I have never kissed a child.”
When he left, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said:“This is someone who, in my view, is one of the people of Hell.”
ذَمُّ عَدَمِ المَحَبَّةِ لِلأَطفالِ
343. صحيح مسلم عن عائشة: قَدِمَ ناسٌ مِنَ الأعرابِ عَلى رَسولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله فَقالوا: أتُقَبِّلونَ صِبيانَكُم؟ فَقالوا: نَعَم، فَقالوا: لكِنَّا وَاللهِ ما نُقَبِّلُ
فَقالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: وأملِكُ إن كانَ اللهُ نَزَعَ مِنكُمُ الرَّحمَةَ !
344. الأدب المفرد عن أبي هريرة: قَبَّلَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله حَسَنَ بنَ عَلِيّ عليه السلام، وعِندَهُ الأَقرَعُ بنُ حابِسٍ التَّميميّ جالِسٌ
فَقالَ الأَقرَعُ: إنَّ لي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الوُلدِ ما قَبَّلتُ مِنهُم أحَداً !
فَنَظَرَ إلَيهِ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله ثُمَّ قَالَ: مَن لا يَرحَم لا يُرحَمُ
345. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: جاءَ رَجُلٌ إلَى النَّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وآله فَقالَ: ما قَبَّلتُ صَبِيّاً قَطُّ. فَلَمّا وَلّى قالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: هذا رَجُلٌ عِندِي أنَّهُ مِن أهلِ النّارِ
4.5: The Boundaries of Love to Children
“O you who believe! Let not your wealth, or your children, divert you from the remembrance of Allah; and whoever does that, these are the losers.”
“O you who believe! Surely from your wives and your children there is an enemy to you; therefore beware of them; and if you pardon and forbear and forgive, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.”
346. The Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) said, while giving advice to ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud:“O Ibn Mas’ud! Your sympathy to your family and children should not drive you to disobedience [to Allah] and to unlawful things, for Allah the Exalted says in regards to Judgment Day: “The Day whereon neither wealth nor sons will avail, ‘Except for him who comes to Allah with a safe heart.”
,
347. Sunan al-Tirmidhi, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas that a person had once asked him about the verse:“O you who believe! Surely from your wives and your children there is an enemy to you; therefore beware of them; …”
He answered:“There were some people from Mecca who had embraced Islam and they wanted to go to the Prophet (s.a.w.), but their wives and children did not let them leave to visit him (s.a.w.). When they finally did come to meet the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), they saw that people had become knowledgeable in religion and they wanted to punish them, but Allah sent down the verse: “O you who believe! Surely from your wives and your children there is an enemy to you; therefore beware of them; ….”
348. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said, to one of his companions:“Do not let your wife and children become your entire concern, for if your wife and children are the friends (awliya’) of Allah, He will not neglect the life of His friends, and if they are the enemies of Allah why should you be concerned and preoccupied with the enemies of Allah?”
349. Mustadrak al-Wasail:“It is said that when Imam ‘Ali’s two children ‘Abbas and Zainab were infants, the Imam had said to ‘Abbas: “Say one.”
He said:“One.”
He (a.s.) said:“Say two.”
He said:“I feel shy to say two with the tongue I have used to say ‘one’.”
Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) kissed him on his eyes and then turned to Zainab who was standing on his left side and ‘Abbas was on his right.
Zainab said:“Dear father! Do you love us?”
He said:“Yes, my child! Our children are our livers.”
She said:“O father! Two loves cannot exist in a believer’s heart: the love of Allah and the love of children, and if it is a must, then let it be that sympathy is for us and pure love is for Allah.”
After this, ‘Ali’s love for them increased.
350. Mustadrak al-Wasail, narrating that ‘Ali ibn Abu Talib (a.s.) had a son and a daughter and he once kissed his son in front of his daughter. The daughter said:“O father! Do you love him?”
He (a.s.) said:“Yes.”
She said: I thought you love none but Allah.” He wept and then said:“Love is for Allah and compassion is for children.”
351. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said:“My father (a.s.) said: “By Allah! I act with one of my children and make him sit on my knees, show him much affection and thank him a lot, even though my other child is right; but I do so for the sake of protecting him from that child and from others, so that they might not do the same thing against him as the brothers of Yusuf (a.s.) done to him. Allah did not send down the Chapter of Yusuf other than to be an example so that some of us do not feel envy towards others as Yusuf’s brothers envied and wronged him.”
نِطاقُ المَحَبَّةِ بِالأَولادِ
(يا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا تُلْهِكُمْ أَمْوالُكُمْ وَ لا أَوْلادُكُمْ عَنْ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَ مَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذلِكَ فَأُولئِكَ هُمُ الْخاسِرُونَ)
(يا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْواجِكُمْ وَ أَوْلادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ وَ إِنْ تَعْفُوا وَ تَصْفَحُوا وَ تَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ)
346. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله- في مَوعِظَتِهِ لِابنِ مَسعودٍ- يَا بنَ مَسعودٍ، لا تَحمِلَنَّكَ الشَّفَقَةُ عَلى أهلِكَ ووُلدِكَ عَلَى الدُّخولِ فِي المَعاصِي وَالحَرامِ، فَإِنَّ اللهَ تَعالى يَقولُ: (يَوْمَ لا يَنْفَعُ مالٌ وَ لا بَنُونَ* إِلَّا مَنْ أَتَى اللَّهَ بِقَلْبٍ سَلِيمٍ)
347. سنن الترمذي عن ابن عبّاس- لمّا سَألَهُ رَجُلٌ عَن هذهِ الآيةِ: (يا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْواجِكُمْ وَ أَوْلادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ)- هؤُلاءِ رِجالٌ أسلَموا مِن أهلِ مَكَّةَ وأرادوا أن يَأتُوا النَّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وآله، فَأَبى أزواجُهُم وأولادُهُم أن يَدَعوهُم أن يَأتوا رَسولَ الله صلى الله عليه وآله، فَلَمّا أتَوا رَسولَ الله صلى الله عليه وآله رَأَوا النّاسَ قَد فَقِهوا فِي الدِّينِ هَمّوا أن يُعاقِبوهُم، فَأنزَلَ اللهُ عزّ وجلّ: (يا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْواجِكُمْ وَ أَوْلادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ)
348. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام- لِبَعضِ أصحابِهِ- لا تَجعَلَنَّ أكثَرَ شُغلِكَ بِأهلِكَ ووَلَدِكَ، فَإِن يَكُن أهلُكَ ووَلَدُكَ أولِياءَ اللهِ فَإِنَّ اللهَ لا يُضيعُ أولِياءَهُ، وإن يَكونوا أعداءَ اللهِ فَمَا هَمُّكَ وشُغلُكَ بِأعداءِ اللهِ !
349. مستدرك الوسائل: قيلَ: لَما كانَ العَبّاسُ وزَينَبُ وَلَدَي عَلِيّ عليه السلام صَغيرَينِ، قالَ عَلِيٌّ لِلعَبّاسِ: قُل: واحِدٌ، فَقال: واحِدٌ، فَقالَ: قُل: اثنانِ، قالَ: أستَحي أن أقولَ بِاللِّسانِ الّذي قُلتُ واحِدٌ: اثنانِ. فَقَبَّلَ عَلِيٌ عليه السلام عَينَيهِ، ثُمَّ التَفَتَ إلى زَينَبَ وكانَت عَلى يَسارِهِ وَالعبَّاسُ عَن يَمينِهِ، فَقالَت: يا أَبَتاهُ أتُحِبُّنا؟ قالَ: نَعَم يا بُنيَ، أولادُنا أكبادُنا
فَقالَت: يا أبَتاهُ، حُبَّانِ لا يَجتَمِعانِ في قَلبِ المُؤمِنِ، حُبُّ اللهِ وحُبُّ الأولادِ، وإن كانَ لابُدَّ لَنا فَالشَّفَقَةُ لَنا وَالحُبُّ للهِ خالِصاً
فَازدادَ عَلِيٌّ عليه السلام بِهِما حُبَّاً
350. مستدرك الوسائل: كانَ لِعَلِيّ بنِ أبي طالِبٍ عليه السلام ابنٌ وبِنتٌ، فَقَبَّلَ الابنَ بَينَ يَدَي البِنتِ، فَقالَت: أتُحِبُّهُ يا أبَه؟ قالَ: بَلى، قالَت: ظَنَنتُ أنَّكَ لا تُحِبُّ أحَداً مِن دونِ اللهِ. فَبَكى، ثُمَّ قالَ: الحُبُّ للهِ، وَالشَّفَقَةُ لِلأولادِ
351. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: قالَ والِدي عليه السلام: وَاللهِ إنِّي لَاصانِعُ بَعضَ وُلدِي واجلِسُهُ عَلى فَخِذِي واكثِرُ لَهُ المَحَبَّةَ، واكثِرُ لَهُ الشُّكرَ، وإنَّ الحَقَّ لِغَيرِهِ مِن وُلدِي، ولكِن مُحافَظَةً عَلَيهِ مِنهُ ومِن غَيرِهِ؛ لِئَلّا يَصنَعوا بِهِ ما فَعَلَ بِيوسُفَ إخوَتُهُ، وما أنزَلَ اللهُ سورَةَ يوسُفَ إلّا أمثالًا لِكَيلا يَحسُدَ بَعضُنا بَعضاً كَما حَسَدَ بيوسُفَ إخوَتُهُ وبَغَوا عَلَيهِ
4.6: Justice Between Children
352. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Observe equality between your children when giving gifts, and if I was to give preference to anyone, I would give preference to the women.”
353. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Be just between your children when giving something.”
354. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Be just between your children when granting things to them in the same manner that you would like them to be just with you in obedience and kindness.”
355. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Allah the Exalted likes for you to be equal between your children, even when kissing them.”
356. al-‘Ayal, narrating from al-Hasan
who said:“The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) was once speaking with his companions when a child entered and went to a corner of the mosque to his father. The father pat his son’s head and sat him on his right knee. After a while, his daughter entered and went towards him, and he pat her on her head and made her sit on the ground.”
The Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) said:“Why didn’t you seat her on your other knee?”
Then the man seated her on his other knee, and the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) said:“Now you have done justice.”
357. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said:“The Prophet once saw a man who had two children and he kissed one of them and left the other. [At this time] the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said to him: “Should you not treat them equally?”
358. Sahih Bukhari, narrating from Nu’man ibn Bashir who said:“My father gave me a gift, but [my mother] ÝAmarah bint RawÁÎah said: “I will not be pleased until you make the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) witness this.”
Therefore, he went to the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) and said:“O Messenger of Allah! I gave a gift to my son who is from ‘Amarah bint Rawahah and she has told me to take you as a witness.”
He (s.a.w.) said:“Have you given a similar gift to your other children?”
He said:“No.”
So, the Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Have fear in Allah and do justice between your children.”
Then he returned and took back his gift.”
359. Sharh al-Nahj al-Balaghah:“Hasan (a.s.) was the eldest child of ‘Ali (a.s.) and he was noble, gracious, patient and an eloquent speaker, and the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) loved him. One day the Prophet (s.a.w.) made a competition between Hasan (a.s.) and Husayn (a.s.) and Hasan won, so the Prophet (s.a.w.) seated him on his right knee and seated Husayn on his left knee.”
العَدلُ بَينَ الأَولادِ
352. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: سَوّوا بَينَ أولادِكُم فِي العَطِيَّةِ، فَلَو كُنتُ مُفَضِّلًا أحَداً لَفَضَّلتُ النِّساءَ
353. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: اعدِلُوا بَينَ أولادِكُم فِي العَطِيَّةِ
354. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: اعدِلُوا بَينَ أولادِكُم في النُّحلِ، كَما تُحِبُّونَ أن يَعدِلوا بَينَكُم فِي البِرِّ وَاللُّطفِ
355. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: إنَّ اللهَ تَعالى يُحِبُّ أن تَعدِلوا بَينَ أولادِكُم حَتّى فِي القُبَلِ
356. العيال عن الحسن: بَينا رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله يُحَدِّثُ أصحابَهُ إذ جاءَ صَبِيّ حَتَّى انتَهى إلى أبيهِ في ناحِيَةِ القَومِ، فَمَسَحَ رَأسَهُ وأقعَدَهُ عَلى فَخِذِهِ اليُمنى. قالَ: فَلَبِثَ قَليلًا فَجاءَت ابنَةٌ لَهُ حَتَّى انتَهَت إلَيهِ، فَمَسَحَ رَأسَها وأقعَدَها فِي الأرضِ. فَقالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: فَهَلّا عَلى فَخِذِكَ الاخرى، فَحَمَلَها عَلى فَخِذِهِ الاخرى، فَقالَ صلى الله عليه وآله: الآنَ عَدَلتَ
357. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: إنَّ النَّبِيَ صلى الله عليه وآله أبصَرَ رَجُلًا لَهُ وَلَدانِ فَقَبَّلَ أحَدَهُما وتَرَكَ الآخَرَ. فَقالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: فَهَلّا واسَيتَ بَينَهُما
358. صحيح البخاري عن النعمان بن بشير: أعطاني أبي عَطِيَّةً، فَقالَت عَمَرَةُ بِنتُ رَواحَةَ: لا أرضى حَتّى تُشهِدَ رَسولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله
فأتى رَسولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله فَقالَ: إنِّي أعطَيتُ ابني مِن عَمَرَةَ بِنتِ رَواحَةَ عَطِيَّةً فَأمَرَتني أن اشهِدَكَ يا رَسولَ اللهِ
قالَ: أعطَيتَ سائِرَ وُلدِكَ مِثلَ هذا؟ قالَ: لا
قالَ: فَاتَّقُوا اللهَ وَاعدِلوا بَينَ أولادِكُم. قالَ: فَرَجَعَ فَرَدَّ عَطِيَّتَهُ
359. شرح نهج البلاغة: كانَ الحَسَنُ عليه السلام أكبَرَ وُلدِ عَلِيٍّ، وكانَ سَيِّدا سَخِيّا حَليما خَطيبا، وكانَ رَسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وآله يُحِبُّهُ، سابَقَ يَوما بَينَ الحُسَينِ وبَينَهُ فَسَبَقَ الحَسَنُ، فَأجلَسَهُ عَلى فَخِذِهِ اليُمنى، ثُمَّ أجلَسَ الحُسَينَ عَلَى الفَخِذِ اليُسرى
Being Just Between Children
One of the important discussions in raising children is the administration of justice by parents among their children in being affectionate to them and in giving material resources to them. This issue can be analysed from both a jurisprudential view and from an upbringing perspective.
The issue that is focused on here is the applying of fairness between children from the second point of view.
Administering justice among children can have certain important upbringing effects that can be mentioned as follows:
1- The children in accordance will themselves do good to their parents and observe their rights.
2- They will not be unjust to their own children.
3- Being just between children will prevent them from envy and taking vengeance on each other.
4- More importantly, the child will be brought up from the very beginning of his life with the spirit of being fair and the just behaviour of the family will provide a ground for social justice.
Injustice and discriminatory treatment of the children not only deprives the parents from their love, but it also endangers the future of the children. This is why scholars of education and upbringing in the present era have considered the observing of justice in treating children necessary for the upbringing of virtuous people.
Islam emphasized on this matter fourteen centuries ago and the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) used to order the Muslims to observe justice not only in granting material things [like gifts] but also even in kissing their children.
It is evident that fair behaviour does not mean equal and similar treatment. In many times it happens that observing justice requires that the father interacts more with some of his children because of the differences in their talents or due a sickness, or other issues. This is not considered as injustice, and in these cases he must explain the reasons for his treatment.
When the father feels that observing the rights of one of the children will bring about some negative or dangerous consequences, he should stop it, as Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
“My father (a.s.) said: “By Allah! I act with one of my children and make him sit on my knees, show him much affection and thank him a lot, even though my other child is right; but I do so for the sake of protecting him from that child and from others, so that they might not do the same thing against him as the brothers of Yusuf (a.s.) done to him. Allah did not send down the Chapter of Yusuf other than to be an example so that some of us do not feel envy towards others as Yusuf’s brothers envied and wronged him.”
As mentioned in this tradition, Imam al-Baqir (a.s.) in order to prevent the envy of some of his children to each other and its evil results not only showed affection to the child whom he must be affectionate more to than the others, but he also showed affection to the other child who was jealous, and in this way he protects the favoured child from the danger of his brother’s jealousy. This is an important lesson for the upbringers, especially for the fathers and mothers.
4.7: Fulfilling a Promise
360. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Love children, be kind to them, and whenever you promise something to them, fulfil it, for they do not know other than thinking that their sustenance is from you.”
361. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“If any of you promises his child, he should fulfil it.”
362. al-Sunan al-Kubra, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amir ibn Rabi’ah who said:“The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) came to our house while I was a little child. I went to out play and my mother told me: “O ‘Abdullah! Come in so I can give you something.”
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) asked her:“What do you want to give him?”
She answered:“I want to give him some dates.”
He (s.a.w.) said:“Beware that if you do not do so, it will be written for you as a lie.”
363. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said:“Telling a lie is improper, whether being a joke or serious. It is also wrong when one of you promises his child and does not fulfil it, for lying leads to debauchery.”
363. Imam al-Kazim (a.s.) said:“When you promise children you must fulfil it for them, for they think it is you that gives them sustenance. Indeed Allah does not get angry for anything the way He gets angry for the sake of women and children.”
الوَفاءُ بِالوَعدِ
360. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: أحِبُّوا الصِّبيانَ وَارحَموهُم، وإذا وَعَدتُموهُم شَيئاً فَفوا لَهُم؛ فَإِنَّهُم لا يَدرونَ إلّا أنَّكُم تَرزُقونَهُم
361. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: إذا واعَدَ أحَدُكُم صَبِيَّهُ فَليُنجِز
362. السنن الكبرى عن عبدالله بن عامر بن ربيعة: جاءَ رَسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وآله بَيتَنا وأنا صَبِيٌ صَغيرٌ، فَذَهَبتُ ألعَبُ، فَقالَت لي أُمِّي: يا عَبدَ اللهِ تَعالَ أُعطيكَ
فَقالَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وآله: ما أَرَدتِ أن تُعطِيَهُ؟ قَالَت: أرَدتُ أن أُعطِيَهُ تَمرا، قالَ: أما إنَّكِ لَو لَم تَفعَلي لَكُتِبَت عَلَيكِ كِذبَةٌ
363. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: لا يَصلُحُ مِن الكَذِبِ جِدٌّ و لا هَزلٌ، ولا أن يَعِدَ أَحَدُكُم صَبِيَّهُ ثُمَّ لا يَفي لَهُ، إنَّ الكَذِبَ يَهدي إلَى الفُجورِ
364. الإمام الكاظم عليه السلام: إذا وَعَدتُم الصِّبيانَ فَفوا لَهُم؛ فَإِنَّهُم يَرَونَ أنَّكُم الّذينَ تَرزُقونَهُم، إنَّ اللهَ لَيسَ يَغضَبُ لِشَيءٍ كَغَضَبِهِ لِلنِّساءِ وَالصِّبيانِ
Fulfilling Promises and its Function in the Upbringing of Children
When a child becomes aware and starts to understand things, he is given promises made by his parents, and some of them are fulfilled and some are not. Islam has given significance to the fulfilment of promises and highly emphasises on it. The reason for this emphasis can be analysed and explained in the following:
The moral aspect of the matter, in that all concur that breaching a promise is a bad moral characteristic, and this goes for everyone including children.
Another aspect is it sets a bad example for the child. Breaching a promise is forbidden in general, but in regards to children, because of their age and special upbringing circumstances, it is of a more particular importance. A child takes examples from the behaviour of others, his parents in particular, and since taking example is done in the childhood age, it has a deeper and longer lasting effect on the child’s personality in a way that correcting any mistake will be impossible or very difficult.
A third aspect is the negative effects it will have on the child’s future relation with Allah. Some researches have shown that the child’s relation with Allah is influenced by the parents’ relationship with their child. Before a child becomes familiar with the concept of Allah, he considers his parents, especially the father, as his master and person of authority. In other words, he believes the parent carries the role of lordship for him, and this is why a child considers his parents always correct and faultless and that they possess all perfections and virtues. A child does not even imagine that they may have a slight defect or deficiency. Now, if the parents do not fulfil the promises that they have given to their child, he will relate this breach of promise to the concept of lordship and in the future this will subconsciously have a negative effect on his relation with Allah.
The expression in the following tradition gives testimony to this:“They think that their sustenance is from you.”
The concept which a child understands about Allah is His attribute of ‘giving sustenance’, and in a child’s view, giving sustenance is equal to His Lordship. So, if he sees a breach of a promise by the lord of his childhood period, he will be always pessimistic towards the Lord Almighty and His position. An Islamic tradition says:“Heaven under the feet of mothers.”
can be relatively considered connected to this. This means that besides the efforts that mothers make for the religious upbringing of a child, the form of the mother’s communication with the child has an important effect in the formation of the child’s outlook to Allah Almighty and this can be effective on the child’s future in this regard.
4.8: Bringing Happiness
365. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“There is a house in Heaven which is called [the house of] happiness and no one will enter it except he who brings happiness to children.”
366. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“Buy meat for your children, and remind them of Friday.”
367. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“There is a house in Heaven which is called [the house of] happiness and no one will enter it except he who brings happiness to the orphans of the believers.”
368. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said:“He who adopts an orphan until he becomes self-sufficient will be granted from Allah Heaven by necessity, and in the same way He has made Hellfire incumbent for the consumer of the wealth of an orphan.”
369. al-Kafi, narrating from Habib ibn Abu Thabit who said:“Some honey and figs were brought for the Commander of the faithful (a.s.) from Hamadan and Hulwan,
and he (a.s.) asked the chiefs of the tribes to bring all their orphans. He then gave them the brim of the sacs of honey to lick and he divided the containers of honey one by one between the people. He was asked: “O Commander of the faithful! Why do they lick the honey?”
He answered: The leader is the father of the orphans, and I made them lick the honey in the [absent] position of their fathers.”
370. Rabi’ al-Abrar, narrating from Abu Tufayl who said:“I saw ‘Ali (a.s.) calling the orphans and making them eat honey to the extent that one of his companions said: “I wish I was an orphan.”
371. al-Manaqib, narrating from Ibn Shahr Ashub who said:“‘Ali (a.s.) saw a woman who was carrying a water-skin full of water on her shoulder, so he took the water-skin from her and took it to her house. He then asked her about their life [She did not know who he was].
The woman said: “‘Ali ibn Abu Talib sent my husband to one of the borders and he was killed and left these orphaned children for me; and I have nothing, so my neediness made me work as a servant for people.”
‘Ali (a.s.) returned and slept uneasily that night, and when he woke up in the morning, he carried a basket of food. A person said to him:“Let me carry it for you!”
He said:“Who will carry my burden for me on the Judgment Day?”
Then he went to the woman’s house and knocked on the door. The woman said:“Who is it?”
He (a.s.) said:“I am the same servant who carried your water- skin yesterday. Open the door as I have brought some things for the children.”
The woman said:“May Allah be pleased with you and may He judge between me and ‘Ali ibn Abu Talib.”
Then ‘Ali (a.s.) entered the house and said:“I would indeed like to obtain reward, so would you knead and bake bread, or would you entertain the children so that I could bake the bread?”
The woman said:“I am better and more capable in baking bread, so you be with the children and entertain them until I finish baking bread.”
The woman took the flour and kneaded it while ‘Ali (a.s.) picked up the meat and cooked it, and in the meantime, he made morsels from dates, meat, and other food stuffs and fed it to the children. Whenever each of the children ate something, he would say to them:“My dear child! Forgive ‘Ali ibn Abu Talib for what he has done to you!”
When the woman kneaded the flour, she said:“O servant of Allah! Kindle the oven!”
‘Ali (a.s.) hastened to kindle the oven, and when he lit it and the heat struck his face, he ceaselessly said:“O ‘Ali! Taste! This is the retribution of the one who leaves widows and orphans alone.”
Another woman who knew ‘Ali (a.s.) came and saw him and she said to the mother:“Woe unto you! This is the Commander of the faithful.”
The woman came to him in a confused state and said:“O Commander of the faithful! Shame on me!”
‘Ali (a.s.) said:“O servant of Allah! But it is me who should be ashamed for neglecting your affairs and needs.”
372. Kashf al-Yaqin:“It is narrated that one night ‘Ali (a.s.) met a poor woman who had some little children who were crying from hunger. The woman was keeping them occupied to make them sleep by lighting a fire under a pot which only contained some water so the children would think that there was food in it and she was cooking it for them.
The Commander of the faithful (a.s.) became aware of her condition and went to her house with Qanbar. He (a.s.) took along with him a basket of dates, a bag of flour, some fat, rice and bread, and he carried them on his holy shoulder. Qanbar wanted to carry them but he did not let him.
When he reached the woman’s house, he asked permission to enter and she gave him permission. He then poured some rice and fat in a pot to cook, and when it was cooked he gave it to the children and told them to eat.
When they became full, he started to roam around the house and bleating for them and they were laughing.
As soon as he and Qanbar left the house, Qanbar told him: “O master! I saw some odd things tonight. I understood the cause of some of them, like carrying the provisions for earning reward, but I did not understand the reason for you going around the house and bleating.”
He (a.s.) said:“O Qanbar! I went to these children while they were crying out of severe hunger and I wanted to leave them while they were full and laughing and I did not find any way [for making them laugh] other than by what I did.”
إدخالُ السُّرورِ
365. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: إنَّ فِي الجَنَّةِ داراً يُقالُ لَهَا: الفَرَحُ، لا يَدخُلُها إلّا مَن فَرَّحَ الصِّبيانَ
366. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: اشتَروا لِصِبيانِكُمُ اللَّحمَ، وذَكِّروهُم يَومَ الجُمُعَةِ
367. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: إنّ فِي الجَنَّةِ داراً يُقالُ لَها: دارُ الفَرَحِ، لايَدخُلُها إلّا مَن فَرَّحَ يَتامَى المُؤمِنينَ
368. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن عالَ يَتيماً حَتّى يَستَغنِيَ، أوجَبَ اللهُ عزّ وجلّ لَهُ بِذلِكَ الجَنَّةَ، كَما أوجَبَ لِاآكِلِ مالِ اليَتيمِ النّارَ
369. الكافي عن حبيب بن أبي ثابت: جاءَ إلى أميرِ المُؤمِنينَ عليه السلام عَسَلٌ وتينٌ مِن هَمَدانَ وحُلوانَ ، فَأَمَرَ العُرَفاءَ أن يَأتوا بِاليَتامى، فَأَمكَنَهُم مِن رُؤوسِ الأَزقاقِ يَلعَقُونَها، وهُوَ يُقَسِّمُها لِلنّاسِ قَدَحاً قَدَحاً، فَقيلَ لَهُ: يا أميرَ المُؤمِنينَ، ما لَهُم يَ فَقالَ: إنَّ الإمامَ أبُو اليَتامى، وإنَّما ألعَقتُهُم هذا بِرِعايَةِ الآباءِ
370. ربيع الأبرار عن أبي الطفيل: رَأَيتُ عَلِيّاً عليه السلام يَدعُو اليَتامى فَيُطعِمُهُمُ العَسَلَ، حَتّى قالَ بَعضُ أصحابِهِ: لَودِدتُ أنّي كُنتُ يَتيما
371. المناقب لابن شهر آشوب: نَظَرَ عَلِيٌّ إلَى امرَأَةٍ عَلى كَتِفِها قِربَةُ ماءٍ، فَأَخَذَ مِنهَا القِربَةَ فَحَمَلَها إلى مَوضِعِها، وسَأَلَها عَن حالِها، فَقالَت: بَعثَ عَلِيُّ بنُ أبي طالِبٍ صاحِبي إلى بَعضِ الثُّغورِ فَقُتِلَ، وتَرَكَ عَلَيَّ صِبياناً يَتامى، ولَيسَ عِندي شَيءٌ، فَقَد ألجَأَتنِي الضَّرورَةُ إلى خِدمَةِ النّاسِ
فَانصَرَفَ وباتَ لَيلَتَهُ قَلِقاً. فَلَمّا أصبَحَ حَمَلَ زِنبيلًا فيه طَعامٌ، فَقالَ بَعضُهُم: أعطِني أحمِلُهُ عَنكَ، فَقالَ: مَن يَحمِلُ وِزري عَنّي يَومَ القِيامَةِ؟! فَأَتى وقَرَعَ البابَ، فَقالَت: مَن هذا؟
قالَ: أنا ذلِكَ العَبدُ الَّذي حَمَلَ مَعكِ القِربَةَ، فَافتَحي فَإِنَّ مَعي شَيئاً لِلصِّبيانِ
فَقالَت: رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنكَ وحَكَمَ بَيني وبينَ عَلِيِّ بنِ أبي طالِبٍ !
فَدَخَلَ وقالَ: إنّي أحبَبتُ اكتِسابَ الثَّوابِ، فَاختاري بَينَ أن تَعجِنينَ وتَخبِزينَ، وبَينَ أن تُعَلِّلينَ الصِّبيانَ لأَخبِزَ أنا.لعَقونَها؟
فَقالَت: أنا بِالخَبزِ أبصَرُ وعَلَيهِ أقدَرُ، ولكِن شَأنَكَ وَالصِّبيانَ فَعَلِّلهُم حَتّى أَفرُغَ مِنَ الخَبزِ
فَعَمَدَت إلَى الدَّقيقِ فَعَجَنَتهُ، وعَمَدَ عَلِيٌّ عليه السلام إلَى اللَّحمِ فَطَبَخَهُ، وجَعَلَ يُلقِمُ الصِّبيانَ مِن اللَّحمِ وَالتَّمرِ وغَيرِهِ، فَكُلَّما ناوَلَ الصِّبيانَ مِن ذلِكَ شَيئاً قالَ لَهُ: يا بُنَيَّ، اجعَل عَلِيَّ بنَ أبي طالِبٍ في حِلٍّ مِمّا مَرَّ في أمرِكَ
فَلَمَّا اختَمَرَ العَجينُ قالَت: يا عَبدَ اللهِ، سَجِّرِ التَّنّورَ فَبادَرَ لِسَجرِهِ، فَلَمّا أشعَلَهُ ولَفَحَ في وَجهِهِ جَعَلَ يَقولُ: ذُق يا عَلِيُّ! هذا جَزاءُ مَن ضَيَّعَ الأَرامِلَ وَاليَتامى
فَرَأتهُ امرَأةٌ تَعرِفُهُ، فَقالَت: وَيحَكِ! هذا أميرُ المُؤمِنينَ. قالَ: فَبادَرَتِ المَرأةُ وهِيَ تَقولُ: وا حَيايَ مِنكَ يا أميرَ المُؤمِنينَ !
فَقالَ: بَل وا حَيايَ مِنكِ يا أمَةَ اللهِ فيما قَصَّرتُ في أمرِكِ !
372. كشف اليقين: رُوِيَ أنَّهُ [عَلِيّاً عليه السلام] اجتازَ لَيلَةً عَلَى امرَأَةٍ مِسكينَةٍ لَها أطفالٌ صِغارٌ يَبكونَ مِنَ الجوعِ، وهِيَ تُشاغِلُهُم وتُلهيهِم حَتّى يَناموا، وكانَت قَد أشعَلَت ناراً تَحتَ قِدرٍ فيها ماءٌ لا غَيرَ، وأوهَمَتهُم أنَّ فيها طَعاماً تَطبُخُهُ لَهُم
فَعَرَفَ أميرُ المُؤمِنينَ عليه السلام حالَها، فَمَشى عليه السلام ومَعهُ قَنبَرٌ إلى مَنزِلِهِ، فَأَخرَجَ قَوصَرَّةَ تَمرٍ وجِرابَ دَقيقٍ وشَيئاً مِنَ الشَّحمِ وَالأَرُزِّ وَالخُبزِ، وحَمَلَهُ عَلى كَتِفِهِ الشَّريفِ، فَطَلَبَ قَنبَرٌ حَملَهُ، فَلَم يَفعَل. فَلَمّا وَصَل إلى بابِ المَرأَةِ استَأذَنَ عَلَيها، فَأَذِنَت لَهُ فِي الدُّخولِ
فَأَرمى شَيئاً مِنَ الأَرُزِّ فِي القِدرِ ومَعَهُ شَيءٌ مِنَ الشَّحمِ، فَلَمّا فَرَغَ مِن نَضجِهِ عَرَّفَهُ (قَرَّبَهُ) لِلصِّغارِ وأمَرَهُم بِأكلِهِ
فَلَمّا شَبِعوا أخَذَ يَطوفُ بِالبَيتِ ويُبَعبِعُ لَهُم، فَأَخَذوا فِي الضَّحِكِ
فَلَمّا خَرَجَ عليه السلام قالَ لَهُ قَنبَرٌ: يا مَولايَ، رَأَيتُ اللَّيلَةَ شَيئاً عَجيباً قَد عَلِمتُ سَبَبَ بَعضِهِ؛ وهُوَ حَملُكَ لِلزّادِ طَلَباً لِلثَّوابِ، أمّا طَوافُكَ بِالبَيتِ عَلى يَدَيكَ ورِجلَيكَ وَالبَعبَعَةُ فَما أدري سَبَبَ ذلِكَ !
فَقالَ عليه السلام: يا قَنبَرُ، إنّي دَخَلتُ عَلى هؤُلاءِ الأَطفالِ وهُم يَبكونَ مِن شِدَّةِ الجوعِ، فَأَحبَبتُ أن أخرُجَ عَنهُم وهُم يَضحَكونَ مَعَ الشِّبعِ، فَلَم أجِد سَبَباً سِوى ما فَعَلتُ
Notes
There are three views among the Shi’ah jurists:
1) Preference (differentiating between children) is permissible except for the time when the person who gives the gift is not financially capable, or is sick, in which case giving a gift becomes unrecommended (makruh); and if the sickness leads to death, the gift will be counted from the whole wealth and not from the one third of it.
2) Preference of a child is discouraged and equality between the children is a recommended action.
3) Preference of a child is prohibited, unless he has a particular privilege.
The Sunni jurists are divided into two groups: the followers of analogy and counsel (Ahl al-Qiyas wa al-Ra’i), and the followers of the apparent text (Ahl al-Zahir).
The followers of analogy and counsel say: It is a consensus that anybody can gift all his wealth and property to another person, so presenting a part of the wealth to some of his children cannot be counted as unlawful. Therefore, the narrations that refer to the unlawfulness of preference should be regarded as an unrecommended act.
As for the followers of the apparent text, they are of two groups: Some who take the surface meaning of the words and so consider it prohibited, and the other group have added the phrase:“Then others should take witness on this.”
to their arguments, concluding that if giving priority was prohibited, the Prophet should have not asked for another witness. Therefore, combining these traditions, the conclusion should be that it is unrecommended.
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Author: M. Mohammadi Rayshahri
